Annullment before green card processed

[Know_Ledge 6]

I'm sorry u had to go through all this pain with this a*****e!! I'm very happy that you've decided to secure yourself and move on. He doesn't deserve anything!! Report his a** and send him home...kids or no kids!! Stay strong and remember...what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger *hug*

[Sergi9 110]

Hi, I thought I would share my experience here with everyone so that no one has to ever go through the same thing. I married my husband last August after his being here 1 week. Immediately after the wedding, we had our first argument over why he felt that he should send some of the money we got as a present, to his "ex" that he had two children with. He at first he told me that he had to sendmoney to his children, which I mistakenly believed was ALL his children (He has two older ones from a previous relationship. I would have almost let him except he messed up by mentioning his "ex". he ended up sending the money because I didn't feel like arguing anymore. My point had only been that this is something he should discuss with me, his wife, BEFORE making any financial decisions. It was OUR money.

Hope this help others who feel they may be getting into a similar situation. DON'T DO IT!!!

I am certainly sorry you are having this problem. Sounds to me like there was some fudging if not outright lying on the biographical data forms he submitted if there is additional children you did not know about.

That said, when you recycle a man who has children and ex wives, this is the kind of stuff that comes with the package. I am not sure how it could be done, but I have always wondered about this type of thing since I have been visiting this forum.... how do you know about the background and habits of a person who lives in another country?

Sounds like this man has a violent nature, so make sure you do not get hurt and avoid any and all interaction with him. Don't stir the pot anymore, he is out, take this lesson and stay safe.

Edited June 12, 2011 by Sergi9

[Gus&Cole 4]

I am so angry reading your story. You should not have to go through this. PLEASE go through with getting his *** thrown out of this Country. There isn't room for people like him. It's amazing how some people have absolutely no feelings for human kind. How can someone do this? Thanks to people like him, everyone else has to go through years of hell just to be with someone they truly love and want to spend their life with. You do not deserve this at all. Please don't allow him to play with your life anymore. His Country can have him back. Will you update us on what happens tomorrow? Be strong, we are all here for you to vent. I truly believe in karma and he will get his. I would love to stand outside the airplane when he is deported and wave him good bye with a big smile on my face.

[amesa 9]

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you.

There was a guy I dated off and on for a few years. He was from Mexico. We were planning on marrying in Mexico (San Juan, Queretaro) and then me bring him here on a spousal visa. We made plans and I would send money down for him to get stuff in order, put down deposits, etc, etc.

To make a long story short, he just disappeared out of nowhere and then 6 weeks later, I received an email from some lady....she happened to be his fiancee too! He had a little girl with her that I was not aware of. She and I talked for awhile...

He had a double life and I was horrified at how he had only used and abused me for money and a chance to come to the US. I was not only hurt, I was devasted because I really, really loved this guy. He was only in for the money (which he never used for the wedding plans.)

So, I completely understand what you are feeling. Luckily, nothing had been done and I just cut my losses and moved on, which is what you are doing.

God will help you, rely on Him and His strength. Unfortunately, there are people from other countries that will do anything, play any role, tell any lie they can to come over here. We all have to be so very, very careful. However, there are also people that are already here that can do the same ####### and lie, steal, manipulate and take advantage of the other person.

The lesson is that as decent human beings, we have to be careful who we associate with and stay close to God and trust His promptings. The world is full of wonderful, great, inspiring people. It is also full of bad, evil people too. There must be opposites in all things...the key is listening to the promptings that God gives us in order to keep us safe.

Let me give you one example: several years ago, after my divorce, I met this guy...don't remember his name or where he was from, but he was very nice and he asked me out. We went out for dinner one night and I remember feeling very, very uncomfortable, but he had been the perfect gentleman the entire evening. No touching, no kiss, no come-ons. Despite that, I decided I did not want to go out with him again. He would call often, and we would talk, but nothing more. One night I got a call from his number and it was some lady asking me who I was: once she calmed down, I found out she was his fiancee and the only reason he was after me was for a good time in bed. Had I not listened to my gut, I could have been hurt badly...or ended up in a very sad situation.

We all need to pay attention to our gut...and be careful.

Again, I am really, really sorry that this happened to you. Yes, contact USCIS, ICE and do what everyone else has suggested to report him and his fradulant activity. And since he already moved out of the marital home and now has his own place with a roommate, I would think that there would not be a problem changing the locks in your home. And I love that you went to his work and picked up YOUR car.

God bless.

[Dave and Kinnari 31]

I hope they deport him as fast as possible.

People like this are the worst human beings ever...

Good Luck with everything, hold your head up HIGH!

[PachucoBro 3]

To the OP: I feel for you... I had similar experiences with my first wife. However, count yourself lucky that you are a woman because as a man I got quite the opposite types of replies to my posts here on VJ. I am glad that you felt you should post about your bad experience because I agree that due to most VJers being on the beginning side of the relationship everyone is happy with rainbows, unicorns and lollipops and not many post about the true trials and difficulties after their partner is here.

To those who replied with "blah blah blah ... get him deported." Unfortunately our immigration system doesn't work that easily. It truly is easier just to stop your involvement with whatever step of the process you are in and try to not think about what the other person is going to do next. Just remind yourself that you have done everything to distance yourself from that person's life and done all that you can to not be responsible for their actions here in the US.

If you find yourself in one of these 'bad' situations always remember to protect yourself. Even more so if you are the 'male' in the relationship. Just do your best to follow the rules/laws and when decisions that seem costly or unnecessary... think hard about what the costs could be if you don't make swift choices to protect you and your family here in the U.S.

Good luck all...

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you.

There was a guy I dated off and on for a few years. He was from Mexico. We were planning on marrying in Mexico (San Juan, Queretaro) and then me bring him here on a spousal visa. We made plans and I would send money down for him to get stuff in order, put down deposits, etc, etc.

To make a long story short, he just disappeared out of nowhere and then 6 weeks later, I received an email from some lady....she happened to be his fiancee too! He had a little girl with her that I was not aware of. She and I talked for awhile...

He had a double life and I was horrified at how he had only used and abused me for money and a chance to come to the US. I was not only hurt, I was devasted because I really, really loved this guy. He was only in for the money (which he never used for the wedding plans.)

So, I completely understand what you are feeling. Luckily, nothing had been done and I just cut my losses and moved on, which is what you are doing.

Amesa,

It is really something to have the courage to give love a try with another foreigner! After that experience you had I would be quite suspicious of any foreigner and falling in love with him... Particularly a Dominican (you know how they say that they're all "sankies" in for the money and/or the visa to the US). I guess we are all just giving love a try, whether with foreigners or nationals. There are no guarantees. So, best wishes to us all!

[kriola 0]

WOW!!!! I really wasn't expecting this many responses to my post. Thank you, everyone, for your kind and encouraging words.

UPDATE: He is apparently trying to portray himself as a victim with no where to go. The "Poor thing" doesn't have any way to get anywhere because he dousn't have a car and no friends to help him. I have text messages from him where he told me that if I wanted my car back to just go and pick it up. So I did, LOL! I spoke with him today to ask him what he would like for me to do with the few things he left behind and tell him that I needed the second set of keys for my car. He told me that I can pick the key up where I picked up my car (on the ground outside his job). He then asked if I realized his job was on private property and I "needed permission" to be there. He is obviously trying to set me up.

I made an appointment through Infopass for Friday. But I think I read here that since I'm a citizen, I don't need an appointment. I plan on being at the office first thing in the AM tomorrow. His mother has tolds some people that it would be "very bad" for me if I tried to send him back. Translated in English, it doesn't sound as dangerous but in the language it's a serious warning to basically watch out and that I should be afraid that something would happen to me. I am, at this point, thinking I need a restraining order. As for changing my locks, he told me where I should look for copies of keys he secretly made for the car and different entrances to the house. I had no choice but to change my locks and keep my house alarm on at all times. A few of my neighbors are law enforcement officers (Department of Defense, Department of Justice, County police, etc)and I have spoke to them about my situation. They are recommending I do exactly as I have done.

I tried calling USCIS and ICE. USCIS is obviously closed on the weekends but I did speak with someone from ICE who advised me to go to the office and withdraw my petition. Lot's of help, he was. He didn't ask for our names or take any additional information. I will call again tomorrow.

I think I have been in denial for a while. I don't think I wanted to believe that I could have been used in this way. I'm usually a much smarter person than this. But in the end I do believe in Karma. You reap what you sow.

[kriola 0]

To the OP: I feel for you... I had similar experiences with my first wife. However, count yourself lucky that you are a woman because as a man I got quite the opposite types of replies to my posts here on VJ. I am glad that you felt you should post about your bad experience because I agree that due to most VJers being on the beginning side of the relationship everyone is happy with rainbows, unicorns and lollipops and not many post about the true trials and difficulties after their partner is here.

To those who replied with "blah blah blah ... get him deported." Unfortunately our immigration system doesn't work that easily. It truly is easier just to stop your involvement with whatever step of the process you are in and try to not think about what the other person is going to do next. Just remind yourself that you have done everything to distance yourself from that person's life and done all that you can to not be responsible for their actions here in the US.

If you find yourself in one of these 'bad' situations always remember to protect yourself. Even more so if you are the 'male' in the relationship. Just do your best to follow the rules/laws and when decisions that seem costly or unnecessary... think hard about what the costs could be if you don't make swift choices to protect you and your family here in the U.S.

Good luck all...

I completely agree with you when it comes to differences between men and woman and responses you get in these types of situations. But what it really boils down to is that both men and women are capable of being manipulative with matters of the heart. Men are supposed to be stronger and "take it". I don't think anyone deserves to be used in any situation. I'm sorry you had to go through this and I hope you are doing a lot better now.

[kriola 0]

I am certainly sorry you are having this problem. Sounds to me like there was some fudging if not outright lying on the biographical data forms he submitted if there is additional children you did not know about.

That said, when you recycle a man who has children and ex wives, this is the kind of stuff that comes with the package. I am not sure how it could be done, but I have always wondered about this type of thing since I have been visiting this forum.... how do you know about the background and habits of a person who lives in another country?

Sounds like this man has a violent nature, so make sure you do not get hurt and avoid any and all interaction with him. Don't stir the pot anymore, he is out, take this lesson and stay safe.

LOL, I did recycle a man, didn't I! Our families have known each other for years. My parents are friends with his father. Unfortunately since he didn't grow up with his dad, he's not very much like him. I thought that since we had this connection I could trust what I thought I knew of his character. Wrong! He knew I would not have married him if I knew that he was leaving a pregnant woman to marry me. His mother knew I wouldn't have married him if I knew the truth. I think they're lying about when this baby was born since noone can tell me exactly when she was born, How do you not know your child's birthdate? Even the mother hesitated when she said that it was the beginning of March. My husband couldn't remember the date. It just makes me think the kid was probably born earlier and they don't want me to know that he definitely knew of the pregnancy before our wedding. I guess I'm supposed to believe that he didn't know at the time. This is her third child and I know that these babies are usually born early!

I am not going to have anymore contact with him and am ready to go on with my life.

[kriola 0]

Didnt you suspect anything when he was using a card to call and leaving the house? Have you seen the movie Phone Booth? Thats sign number 1 of fish business.

Im glad you are making the right decision but i have to say that i absolutely hate what your husband did to you and this country. It makes me sick that he would go that far to lie to you and take advantage of you. And now hes got his whole family calling you a golddigger, yeah right. You would wipe your butt with the money he makes. What a piece of human trash. I saw you destroy him so he will never come back to the US again. Sorry kids, but you have to pay for Dad being a #######, liar, fraud, theif, confidence man, and overall bad human being.

If i were you I would go middle-eastern on him and see to get his hands cut off so he can never work again. You deserve a real man and a real relationship.

anyone else who has any inclination of this sort of stuff going on before the marriage, please sign a prenup.

I did get a prenup done before marrying him. That's at least one smart thing I did when it came to him

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

No, I just gave you an example, it could be anyone. If you had read my first sentence I said it could be any nationality.

Let us just say, it doesn't matter where people are from, or what nationality they are, fraud still exists, and lack of dignity still exists. This man regardless of where he is from has caused a lot of pain and hardship to her.

Let us pray soon she will find the strength to move on and find happiness regardless this traumatic experience.

[jrmejia 31]

It all depends, we are hearing her side of the story right? Calling his x and things like that, I do not know about that.

If everything is the way you are painting, I really feel sorry for you and hope things work out for the best. Cannot advice you on what to do because I am not going through that yet.

-enufsaid

[NY_BX 397]

WOW!!!! I really wasn't expecting this many responses to my post. Thank you, everyone, for your kind and encouraging words.

UPDATE: He is apparently trying to portray himself as a victim with no where to go. The "Poor thing" doesn't have any way to get anywhere because he dousn't have a car and no friends to help him. I have text messages from him where he told me that if I wanted my car back to just go and pick it up. So I did, LOL! I spoke with him today to ask him what he would like for me to do with the few things he left behind and tell him that I needed the second set of keys for my car. He told me that I can pick the key up where I picked up my car (on the ground outside his job). He then asked if I realized his job was on private property and I "needed permission" to be there. He is obviously trying to set me up.

I made an appointment through Infopass for Friday. But I think I read here that since I'm a citizen, I don't need an appointment. I plan on being at the office first thing in the AM tomorrow. His mother has tolds some people that it would be "very bad" for me if I tried to send him back. Translated in English, it doesn't sound as dangerous but in the language it's a serious warning to basically watch out and that I should be afraid that something would happen to me. I am, at this point, thinking I need a restraining order. As for changing my locks, he told me where I should look for copies of keys he secretly made for the car and different entrances to the house. I had no choice but to change my locks and keep my house alarm on at all times. A few of my neighbors are law enforcement officers (Department of Defense, Department of Justice, County police, etc)and I have spoke to them about my situation. They are recommending I do exactly as I have done.

I tried calling USCIS and ICE. USCIS is obviously closed on the weekends but I did speak with someone from ICE who advised me to go to the office and withdraw my petition. Lot's of help, he was. He didn't ask for our names or take any additional information. I will call again tomorrow.

I think I have been in denial for a while. I don't think I wanted to believe that I could have been used in this way. I'm usually a much smarter person than this. But in the end I do believe in Karma. You reap what you sow.

I am so glad you're doing this. I read your story and allt he responses. There's one thing that jump out of the.. monitor... for me: being vindictive. That's the problem. We have confused karma, urgency and responsibility with feeling sorry and compassionate. That's when we make big mistakes such as staying in abusive relationships or living lies like this. The more we confused vindication with revenge, the more miserable we'll be.

Think of it this way (and I think this goes to everyone): should you follow through with your plan, you will be SAVING a possible string of victims, not just yourself. To the member that said something about "recycled" men, or women for that matter, has a fantastic point. When you have twice divorcees with children, you are adopting a huge bagagge, no offense to anyone in this situation. It is the truth, like it or not. I said on another thread about a denial due to a huge age difference that I am a strong believer of same lifestyle levels when it comes to marriage. Age, educational level, children or not, behaviors towards finances, gender or genderless roles, even work schedules can destroy a marriage.... even more than religious and political views. The latter points are taken into consideration a whole lot more than the ones I enumerated, while finances continues to be the #1 reason for divorces... more than infedility. Your stituation apparently started with finances, case in point. Then it moved to gender inequality and then it went downhill from there, unfortunately.

I do not know you, but you sound very smart, strong willed, kind and wonderful. This should had NEVER happened to you. In other words, this is not karma for you. You know what it is? ITS KARMA FOR HIM! Because he met the woman that will teach him a lesson. That's why you're suffering now. Once he is out of your life, God will reward you. God has a mission for you and it is to teach this man, and his family, nobody f**ks with ladies like us

You have a plan, execute it. Withdraw the petition right now! Tell the entire story with evidence and tell them he IS a threat to society and he will become public charge. Of course he will try to scam someone else if he stays here.

God bless you and please update us on your progress.

[sachinky 464]

Unbelievable. So the ex-wife actually thought that you knew that this was merely a business arrangement?

Pull your I-864. Pull it NOW.