TBoneTX

Boy, doesn't THIS satire nail it on the head! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Analysts Clarify That Trump Is Only Responsible For The Stock Market When It Goes Down U.S. — With investors pleasantly surprised that a crash has thus far been avoided and the market had rebounded in the wake of new trade tariffs, top analysts clarified that President Trump was only responsible for the stock market when it goes down. Many experts had predicted a devastating market crash following the uncertainty caused by Trump's implementation of tariffs, leading advisors to remind the public that while the stock market's quick stabilization should not be attributed to Trump in any way, any potential crash most certainly should be. "He only does the bad things," said economist and stock market analyst Richard Stevens. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/analysts-clarify-that-trump-is-only-responsible-for-the-stock-market-when-it-goes-down

Touching: Amy Coney Barrett Adopts MS-13 Gang Member WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett adopted an MS-13 gang member as a show of support for the much maligned community of violent illegal aliens in threat of swift deportation under President Trump. Justice Barrett is now welcoming convicted rapist and murderer Jose Ricardo Dominguez into her home. Adoption of the notorious MS-13 member was finalized this week at a private court proceeding attended by her husband and seven other children. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/touching-amy-coney-barrett-adopts-ms-13-gang-member

Here Are The Products Most Affected By Tariffs In Each Country Trump has imposed tariffs on nearly every country on earth, leading to economic uncertainty and market panic. To ease the burden of these new taxes, countries are raising the retail cost of their exported goods. But not all products are affected equally. Here are the products most affected by tariffs in each country: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/here-are-the-products-most-affected-by-tariffs-in-each-country

In Yet Another Cruel Blow To China, General Tso's Chicken To Be Renamed 'General Don's Oriental Chicky Nugs' WASHINGTON, D.C. — Global tensions over tariffs continued to rise amid the ongoing trade war, as the White House announced that General Tso's Chicken would be renamed General Don's Oriental Chicky Nugs. The renaming of the popular Chinese dish was only the latest move made by the Trump administration to increase pressure on the Chinese government to reach a new normal in international trade relations, with Trump pledging not to budge on the new name. "They're sweet, they're savory, they're spicy… and now they're named after me, Donald Trump," the president told reporters aboard Air Force One when the news broke. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/in-yet-another-cruel-blow-to-china-general-tsos-chicken-to-be-renamed-general-dons-sweet-trumpy-nuggets

Trump Announces HUGE Blowout Sale On Stocks WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the gloomy outlook reported in the media by countless economists and market experts, President Donald Trump put a positive spin on the current financial climate by announcing a huge blowout sale on all stocks. The sale came on the heels of several days of reports that a severe market downturn was imminent due to Trump's implementation of significantly higher tariffs on goods coming into the U.S. from countries around the world, with the president hoping to convince traders to take advantage of the great deals. "Low, low prices! Everything must go!" Trump posted to his Truth Social account. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-announces-huge-blowout-sale-on-stocks

Our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke was very popular! Accordingly, here's our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== MORE THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY The spider-infestation problem is mostly resolved. Diarrhea Awareness Month starts Monday. Runs till Friday. A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train. The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the track. I ilke it when the Earth rotates. It really makes my day. My slightly drunk wife was yelling at the television, "Don't go in there! Don't go in the church, you moron!" She was watching our wedding video again. Why is a set of false teeth called "dentures" when they should have been called "substitooths"? My doctor told me I'm going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear. Human babies are very mysterious and I don't trust them. I arrived early at the restaurant. The manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?' "No," I said. "Good," he said. "Take these drinks to Table 9." NOTICE: This is the back door. The front door is around the back. Please arrive at your appointment 15 minutes early so you can fill out the same forms you filled out online and then wait 45 more minutes for the doctor to actually see you. No horses allowed in bathrooms! Anyone found washing a horse in this bathroom will be charged cleaning costs.

This Is Britain: Mother Jailed For 2 Years Because of a Tweet She Deleted After 4 Hours [...] Ever since America and our British brothers got beyond those little spats we had in 1776 and 1812, the two countries have been as tight as brothers. We occasionally bicker like family members, but when the chips are down, we stick together. John Locke and Adam Smith could have designed our political system, and we have even done a favor or two for our British brothers. We have even improved their language, although they mostly ignore our suggestions for how to improve it. Still, we try out of love. Unfortunately, Great Britain isn't quite so great anymore and is looking less and less like a family member and more and more like a copy of Communist China, but with a less rational immigration policy. [...] https://hotair.com/david-strom/2025/04/08/this-is-britain-mother-jailed-for-3-years-because-of-a-tweet-she-deleted-after-4-hours-n3801500

Biden Admin Allegedly Suppressed Report Linking Service Members to Early COVID Outbreak In Wuhan In another troubling revelation, the Biden administration is facing scrutiny after reports emerged that it allegedly suppressed a crucial document suggesting that U.S. service members may have contracted COVID-19 as early as October 2019, possibly in Wuhan. The report, which could have far-reaching implications for the timeline of the pandemic's origins, was reportedly hidden from the public eye, sparking concerns over transparency and accountability within the administration. According to a 2022 report from the Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness, the report examined [...] https://townhall.com/tipsheet/saraharnold/2025/04/08/biden-admin-hid-report-that-service-members-may-have-gotten-covid-in-wuhan-n2655196

This article (read to the end) is interesting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unintended Consequences: Tariffs May Have Unseen Effects for Alaskan Fisheries Life is full of unintended consequences. Global trade policies are often rife with them. Politics and trade deals generate untold numbers of side effects and unanticipated problems. Case in point: Alaska's fisheries. A large part of the Great Land's economy is dependent on commercial fishing, notably salmon and pollock. These wild-caught fish, of course, have to be processed for market, and that requires not only filleting but the time-consuming detail work of removing "pin" bones. So, Alaska salmon are generally caught, headed and gutted here, and then sent to China for the remaining processing, following which they are sent back to the United States, and now those Alaska-caught fish are subject to the heavy tariffs the Trump administration has placed on China. [...] https://redstate.com/wardclark/2025/04/07/unintended-consequences-tariffs-may-have-unseen-effects-for-alaskan-fisheries-n2187590

Terrifying Details Emerge of Trump Assassination Plot, Including Ukraine Twist: He 'Cannot Get Elected' Ryan Wesley Routh, the man behind the second assassination attempt against President Donald Trump in September 2024, tried to purchase an RPG from an asset he believed to be in Ukraine, a court filing has revealed. The filing on behalf of the United States government was entered at the U.S. District Court in the Southern District of Florida on Monday. The would-be assassin was allegedly using an encrypted messaging app to correspond with an individual "believed to be a Ukrainian with access to military weapons" a month before being spotted with a rifle at the Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida. [...] https://redstate.com/rusty-weiss/2025/04/08/terrifying-details-emerge-of-trump-assassination-plot-including-ukraine-twist-he-cannot-get-elected-n2187611

Here are some (not always outright denial, but send-backs for defects): Failure to respond to RFEs. Failure to meet the "meet in person within 2 years of filing" mandate. Failure to show eligibility to marry*. *includes your enclosing correspondence referring to each other as "hubby/wifey" Failure to report petitioner's criminal history, if any. Improper or missing payment. Incomplete forms. Why do you ask?

A fox with some fire! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Illegal Tries Kicking at Kristi Noem, but She’s Unfazed – 'Yeah, You're Scaring Me With Your Crocs' Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem took part in early-morning deportation raids in Arizona Tuesday, almost getting kicked by an illegal alien as he was detained in the back of a police vehicle. Noem, who takes part in the raids to remind criminal aliens that there's a new sheriff in town, was speaking with a suspect who had just been cuffed and placed in the back of the SUV. "Do you understand the charges against you?" she asked Jose Escobar-Robles, who was being picked up for reportedly illegally funneling money to Mexican drug cartels. Escobar-Robles's response was muffled, but Noem replied, "Yeah, well, you're gonna be prosecuted." "You don't commit crimes in our country," she said, prompting the accused to lift his leg and extend a foot in her direction. Noem backed up slightly and replied, "Yeah, yeah. You're scaring me with your crocs." [...] https://redstate.com/rusty-weiss/2025/04/08/illegal-tries-kicking-at-kristi-noem-but-shes-unphased-yeah-youre-scaring-me-with-your-crocs-n2187619

Interesting story and good points made. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gun Dropped Off in Chicago 'Buyback' Turns Up at Crime Scene Gun "buyback" programs are absolutely worthless when it comes to improving public safety, but they remain popular among politicians who want to say they're doing "something" about crime in their communities. In Chicago, however, a compensated confiscation program hosted by longtime anti-gun activist Father Michael Pfleger and run by the Chicago PD appears to have actually enabled a crime after a gun that was turned in turned up in the hands of a teenager. [...] https://bearingarms.com/camedwards/2025/04/08/gun-dropped-off-in-chicago-buyback-turns-up-at-crime-scene-n1228243

Chrysanthemum Status.

Good article from a Democrat. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wall Street needs to get a grip about Trump's tariffs It's time for Wall Street to get a grip. The Trump tariff policies are a calculated gamble that the threat of tariffs can fundamentally remake the global economy and retilt it in the direction of the United States — and away from China and other beggar-thy-neighbor countries. But whether they work or not, Wall Street elites have convinced themselves that these tariffs are worse than the pandemic that stopped the entire economy, or the 2009 economic crisis that put 10 million people out of work. And so far, nothing has happened. It's all speculation about what could happen. Wall Street regularly overreacts on both the upside and the downside. However, in judging the potential impact of the Trump tariffs, the first place to look is the basic math. [...] https://nypost.com/2025/04/08/opinion/get-a-grip-about-trumps-tariffs-this-is-only-1-of-the-economy/

Your addition warrants enshrinement in the pantheon of All-Time Greatest VJ Posts, LB ma'am. How beautiful and enviable.

Heaven frowns on anyone who awakens a sleeping cat. Have you partaken here? https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/356713-cat-barf-si-man/

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: Spectacular weather, Texas weather Many man. Breakfast (!) was a spoonful of Mini-B.'s leftover Meat-Lovers' Breakfast Bowl from Aldi, ingest we man. Saw EJC, see we man EJC man man. Togethered for >2 hours, si man. Parts were OK but EJC probably not the one for us, who's next man. Din-din was Costco frozen chicken patties* with honey-BBQ sauce and onecan corn**, ingest Two Guys man. *Mini-B.'s on hamburger buns, ingest wee man *Ours by themselves, can't bite so used knife/fork we man **bought at a previous ES, financially savvy we man Din-din was enjoyed by all, enjoy Two Guys man. We siesta'd like a dead thing for an over-zzz'd >1 hour, over-zzz we man. Mini-B. gaming with online amigos, game we man with wee men man. Must retrieve Mama T-B.'s taxes from her CPA, aysheep senior she man man. Must take Mama T-B. to orthopedist, pained senior she man man. That out-wipes Wednesday, oh well man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

Really interesting article, with solid facts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why 'Liberation Day' Frightened Democrats Anyone foolish enough to take seriously the rhetoric of the Democrats concerning the reciprocal tariffs announced by President Trump on "Liberation Day" will experience two sensations — dread and confusion. This unpleasant combination was inevitable due to the strident denunciation of tariffs by a political party whose presidents have routinely deployed them in the recent past. President Obama, for example, imposed a 35 percent tariff on Chinese tires and President Biden deployed a 25 percent tariff on Chinese steel and aluminum. Yet the voters are now expected to believe the Trump tariffs will somehow plunge us into a recession or something akin to the Great Depression. [...] https://spectator.org/why-liberation-day-frightened-democrats/

Tell us if you hear back.

Absolutely! No room left to upload pictures, but I have plenty. Yes, they do.

Congratulations and welcome!

China Retaliates Against Tariffs By Putting Worse Fortunes Into Cookies BEIJING — As part of an escalating global trade war, the Chinese government announced plans to retaliate against President Donald Trump's tariffs by putting worse fortunes into their cookies. Highly placed sources within the Chinese Communist Party confirmed that production had been ramped up on newer, more disturbing fortunes to place inside cookies to be shipped to thousands of restaurants across the United States. "Less than happy outcomes are in your future," said one slip of paper seen by a fortune cookie insider. Other fortunes reportedly created to combat Trump's tariffs include [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/china-retaliates-against-tariffs-by-putting-worse-fortunes-into-cookies

HUGE: The European Union Just Caved on Trump's Tariffs While the left and their media allies urge panic over Trump's tariffs and the market response, reality is telling a different story — countries are folding fast. Now even the European Union is signaling it's ready to deal. On Monday, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that the EU is open to negotiations with the United States and has proposed eliminating tariffs on industrial goods altogether. At a press conference in Brussels, von der Leyen underscored the damaging effects of the current tariffs and made it clear the EU is prepared to negotiate. "These tariffs come first and foremost at immense costs for U.S. consumers and businesses, but at the same time, they have a massive impact on the global economy," she announced. "Especially hard-hit are the developing countries. And this is a major turning point for the United States." She continued, "Nonetheless, we stand ready to negotiate with the United States. Indeed, we have offered zero-for-zero tariffs for industrial goods, as we have successfully done with many other trading partners. Because Europe is always ready for a good deal, so we keep it on the table." [...] https://pjmedia.com/matt-margolis/2025/04/07/huge-the-european-union-just-caved-on-trumps-tariffs-n4938674

Thrilling Monday report, see man: Didn't leave the casa except for skool runs, casabody we man. Lunch was 2 turkey-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. Reviewed our CPAs' compilations of our taxes, taxing experience man. Our income from Pre-Owned Toilet Seats* was (drum roll), see man: *buy yours today, si man! $Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many00,Many02, si man. Our tax liability, as in all years, was zero, whee and glee $ucce$$ful Bu$ine$$ Typhoon we man. A siesta was interrupted by texts from the EJC, Exotic Junior Chica she man. We shall almost certainly see her on Tuesday, see we man EJC man man. Din-din was sliced Costco luncheon ham, loaded baked potatoes, and Aldi lemon cake**, ingest Two Guys man. **cheat we man Movie night was the NCAA basketball finals, watch Two Guys man. The result sucked, aw shoot man. Many (2+2+2) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. This goes far toward our weekly goal, double digits man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. undergoes a colonoscopy on Tuesday, up hers man. The Rojo will supervise the prelude and aftermath, have fun Rojo man. Visit with EJC on Tuesday, hope we man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.