TBoneTX

Following Death Of Ozzy Osbourne, England Overrun With Millions Of Bats LONDON — BBC News confirmed Wednesday that England is currently being overrun with millions of bats following the passing of heavy metal legend John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne. "We are advising everyone to stay indoors until further notice," said a spokesperson for the UK Health Security Agency, who reportedly advised the government to raise the national threat level to severe. "With Ozzy Osbourne gone, bats have no one to bite their heads off." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/following-death-of-ozzy-osbourne-england-overrun-with-millions-of-bats

Disheveled Colbert Seen Holding Up Cardboard Sign 'Will Yell About Trump For Cash' NEW YORK, NY — Mere days after CBS announced that it would be discontinuing The Late Show, a disheveled Stephen Colbert was seen on a Manhattan street corner holding up a cardboard sign that read "Will yell about Trump for cash." Witnesses reported seeing the soon-to-be-former late-night talk show host sporting a rumpled suit and unkempt hair as he waved his makeshift placard at anyone who passed by and shouted at them that he would be more than happy to go on angry tirades about the president in return for money or food. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/disheveled-colbert-seen-holding-up-cardboard-sign-will-yell-about-trump-for-cash

Ozzy Clarifies To St. Peter He Was Just Joking About The Whole Satanism Thing PEARLY GATES — Rock legend Ozzy Osbourne sought to do away with some of the confusion about his life on Earth when arriving at the entrance to Heaven, clarifying to St. Peter that he was just joking about the whole Satanism thing. After the end of his earthly life, Osbourne was seen by angelic witnesses explaining to St. Peter that his time spent surrounding himself with ghoulish, macabre decor and biting the heads off of bats was just for show. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/ozzy-clarifies-to-st-peter-he-was-just-joking-about-the-whole-satanism-thing

Hunter Biden Warns That Without Illegal Immigrants, The Price Of Prostitutes And Crack Will Skyrocket WILMINGTON, DE — As part of a wide-ranging sit-down interview released on YouTube, Hunter Biden warned Americans that, without illegal immigrants, the price of crack cocaine and prostitutes would skyrocket. In an urgent plea to the American people, Biden told the public that President Donald Trump's hardline immigration policies threatened not only to affect various industries across the country but also drive the cost of hard drugs and sex slaves through the roof. "These essential products will become totally unaffordable to the average American," Biden said. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/hunter-biden-warns-that-without-illegal-immigrants-the-price-of-crack-will-skyrocket

Would we put it past him? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Obama Argues He Can't Be Charged With Treason Since He Wasn't Born In America WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blow to hopes from conservatives that the former president would face severe consequences for allegedly overseeing an attempt to delegitimize the Trump presidency, Barack Obama argued that he can't be charged with treason since he wasn't born in America and isn't a legitimate American citizen. Republicans acknowledged that they could be left without any legal recourse after President Obama absolved himself of any potential treason charge by reminding everyone that he couldn't face any consequences since he was never a citizen to begin with. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/obama-argues-he-cant-be-charged-with-treason-since-he-wasnt-born-in-america

She's right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Sultans of Cringe Who Killed Late-Night Last night, the once and former "kings" of late-night "comedy" rallied around Stephen Colbert to show solidarity for what exactly? A fantasy of their own making. In such a dreamscape, the last ten years never happened. They didn't destroy themselves trying to destroy Trump. Jon Stewart is still funny and relevant. Jimmy Kimmel remains a voice for America, and Stephen Colbert is a highly rated late-night comedy host who moves the needle in the discourse. [...] https://sashastone.substack.com/p/the-sultans-of-cringe-who-killed

Not sure that we've all known about this (I didn't), but hoorah! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fact Sheet: President Donald J. Trump Rescinds Useless Water Pressure Standards The White House | May 9, 2025 RESCINDING BURDENSOME WATER RULES: Today, President Donald J. Trump signed a memorandum to eliminate restrictive water pressure and efficiency rules that make household appliances less effective and more expensive. The memorandum directs the Secretary of Energy to: • Review and rescind—or revert to the minimum standards required by statute—rules that limit water use in showerheads, faucets, dishwashers, toilets, urinals, and washing machines. • Publish in the Federal Register a notice clarifying the scope of federal preemption of state rules for water use in showerheads, faucets, toilets, and urinals. • Pause enforcement any of rules mentioned in the memorandum until they are rescinded or revised. • Work with the Director of the Office of Legislative Affairs to recommend to Congress any water pressure or related energy efficiency laws, including the Energy Policy Act of 1992, that should be repealed or amended. RESTORING CONSUMER CHOICE AND AFFORDABILITY: President Trump believes that the Federal Government should not impose or enforce regulations that make taxpayers' lives worse. • Water conservation requirements for faucets, showers, bathtubs, and toilets make bathroom appliances more expensive and less functional. • Efficiency standards render other American appliances, like clothes washers and dishwashers, less useful, more breakable, and more expensive to repair. • Ultra-efficient washing machines cost at least $100 more according to the Department of Energy. • Updated dishwasher regulations caused those appliances to take two hours or more to complete a normal load of dishes—about twice the time of pre-standards models. FREEING HOUSEHOLDS FROM BAD REGULATIONS: President Trump is fulfilling his promise to free Americans from costly and ineffective appliance rules. • On his first day in office, President Trump signed an Executive Order to "safeguard the American people's freedom to choose from a variety of goods and appliances, including but not limited to lightbulbs, dishwashers, washing machines, gas stoves, water heaters, toilets, and shower heads…" • President Trump also signed a Day One Presidential Memorandum directing agencies to "eliminate counterproductive requirements that raise the costs of home appliances." • Under President Trump's leadership, the Department of Energy has already withdrawn or postponed numerous energy efficiency rules on key home appliances. https://www.whitehouse.gov/fact-sheets/2025/05/fact-sheet-president-donald-j-trump-rescinds-useless-water-pressure-standards/

A start, but initial and nowhere near what they need to do, and over time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Columbia's finally cracking down on its Jew-hating goons. What took so long? It sure is about time: Columbia University is finally starting to deal with the vile, antisemitic hooligans on its campus. What took so long? The Ivy League school is set to discipline more than 70 pro-Palestinian students for rampaging through Butler Library in May and for their involvement in last year's encampment. Most face suspensions of one to three years, and some will be permanently expelled. [...] https://nypost.com/2025/07/22/opinion/columbias-finally-cracking-down-on-its-jew-hating-goons-what-took-so-long/

Wish I'd known this expansion years ago. Some HR personnel are very good and stand out. Others (meaning most) are indeed the dregs of the organization.

Scintillating Wednesday repartee, yawn man. ------- Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: Rarely have we awakened to such a needy, sociable miu, no man. Miu greeted us at our bedroom door with a feather-roller in her mouth, blatant miu man. We tossed feather-roller down the hall and miu energetically chased it, energetic miu man. We tossed it downstairs to the halfpace, energetically chase miu man. We tossed it all the way downstairs, energetically chase miu man. Miu then lobbied for brushing, flop-on-floor miu man. We had to comply, Service Me Daddy miu man man. Miu remained the same during every interaction, interactive miu man. Miu brought feather-roller, dropped it on bathmat, and crumpled bathmat in attack, we had nowhere to step onto man. Free lunch was liver + onions, beef noodle soup, corn, fried okra, & sugar-free vanilla pudding, ingest we man. We had work to do in emptying one of Mama T-B.'s desks, pending sale man. Rarely have we seen a bigger conglomeration of obsolete records and scratch-paper, no man. We finally gave up and threw it into boxes, Many (2+1) loaded boxes man. Customer (from Craigslist) showed up, si man. He was a semiretired interior remodeler, and he had a good eye, good judge of items man. He bought $Many00 worth of stuff, less than we wanted but we guess fair man. He loaded the stuff onto his trailer himself, amazing for his age (Many years old) man. One item was the table where we & Mini-B. invariably lunched courtesy of Mama T-B., man. We now barely have anywhere to place anything except on the floor, we guess it's the goal man. Had several sales no-shows and Many (2+1) Craigslist scammers using identical verbiage, get a life man. Returned to our casa to retrieve Amazon return, then went to UPS Store with that + shredding*, shred we man. *on AAA discount, financially savvy we man Had thorough, intense interactions with excited miu, see above man. Din-din was at BK**, ingest we man. **WUOC, financially savvy we man. We dearly wanted to zzz, siesta needed man. However, Mama T-B. wanted/needed us, helpless senior she man man. We spent 2 hours with her, poor thing man. There's nothing that we can do to help her, no and sigh man. She wants her old crib vacated by July Many'st, fast approaching man. And she resists allowing us to out-clear her packed clothes-racks, man. Like the tearful President Taft after his Many'rd-place defeat for re-election, "We don't see how we could have done differently than we have done," no man. Returned to casa to shower, much-needed man. Miu brought feather-roller into bathroom but did not crumple bathmat, merely vocal miu man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. We should probably out-clean Mama T-B.'s kitchen on Thursday, dining and under-sink items man. We have arranged with Ecu handyman to help with stuff on Sunday, disassembly and moving stuff man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

Wonderful! Keep us apprised.

Very good, and a very good discussion topic. Let's hope that this slowdown is temporary.

Yes -- price out the options, figure in the headaches, be sure you're right, and go ahead. It may well be that you decide to bear a little extra expense in favor of straightforward convenience.

Sir, this post merits enshrinement in the pantheon of All-Time Greatest VJ Posts.

Good thinking; however, with so many courts in the U.S., it's unclear how meaningful such a statement would be. A couple could live in Vermont after having been married in Las Vegas, for example. This sounds good. Maybe add a subheading in boldface like this: MARITAL HISTORY / RECORD *** NO MARRIAGE OCCURRED -- READ BELOW *** And then elaborate concisely.

Or, how to answer a wife's question: Wife: Does this dress make me look fat? You: No, the dress doesn't make you look fat. You ARE fat!

Thread, seemingly pertaining to CR-1 times, is moved from the CR-1 Case Progress subforum to the USCIS Service Centers forum -- topic involves overall rapidity.

Thrilling Tuesday-on-Wednesday report, see man: Decently zzz'd, much-needed man. Miu was still dozing atop miu-tower when we initially lurched downstairs, quiescent miu man. Went first with donation-drop, drop donation we man. Got hardware-store boxes, go out for boxing we man. Store later called to say that they had even more big boxes, will get them on Wednesday we man. Free lunch was meat loaf, turkey noodle soup, mashed potatoes, peas, and sugar-free vanilla pudding, ingest we man. Mama T-B.'s meal allocation has enough in it for us to lunch for free through month-end plus a din-din or two, well-fed and financially savvy we man. Lady showed up to buy a recliner, see recliners she man. She bought one after sitting in it for literally just Many seconds, easy sale man. She even lifted it onto the flatbed dolly and wheeled it out herself, wow man. Another lady bought the paper-shredder, small sale but a sale nevertheless man. She expressed initial interest in the other recliner and the warsher but ultimately declined, polite she man. We have people interested in the warsher/dryer and other items, interesting what people want man. One lady (from Craigslist) wants to buy the dryer sight-unseen, no see she man. Her husband would purportedly overnight a cashier's check to us for $Many00 more than list price, hmm man. She wrote back to say that the check will now arrive on Monday, not overnight man. We said that we can't wait that long, beginning to feel weird and sound complicated man. She even "asked" that we remove the dryer as an active listing, we shall decide that man. Just about willing to tell her to take a long walk off a short pier, give her very short rope hereafter we man. Mama T-B. is miserable because Hospice didn't show up to give her a bath today as promised, we man. No one is helping her try to get out of bed, only 2 attempts in a full month man. She is also waffling about which clothes to save from her closet, time's elapsing man. We also have to figure out how to move the spoken-for desk & bed headboard, maybe Ecu handyman man. That option wouldn't occur till Sunday, sigh man. We also need to make room for furniture-moves amidst boxes and scattered items on floor, Moving is Chaotic man. We hosed ourself trying to lift a box of heavy framed pictures onto the flatbed dolly, ow ow ow OW OW man. We should take bedtime HSM, already almost too late if it out-knocks us properly man. Returned to our casa at Many (2+2) p.m., hurt-backing and sweaty we man. Updated Nextdoor & Craigslist lists, conscientious we man. Took <hourlong siesta, zzz we man. Din-din was Tuna Glop*, ingest we man. *nuked rice from Mama T-B.'s pantry, tuna & peas from recent ES, financially savvy we man Confirmed that Mama T-B. didn't particularly need a visit, offer we man. Went to get our hairs cut, found place open till Many (2x2x2) p.m. man. Up-stocked on Powerade Zero grape**, load off our mind man. **WUOCs on last day of validity, financially savvy we man No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. HSM on the bedtime ingestation plan, ingest we man. Wednesday chiefly to be spent entertaining buyers, hope we man. Should also prepare more donations, probably kitchen items man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

, Bro G man!!! Gracias, Bro B man. The first task is to learn to make poo, and then it can be flung, si man.

Welcome to the forum! Fingers are crossed for you and for everyone.

If possible, find out who moves into your old location at your old address, and have them notify you if your card comes there. You can then arrange how to get it.

A breakthrough is so very much needed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What causes Parkinson's disease? Scientists uncover an unexpected new clue. More than 10 million people worldwide are living with Parkinson's disease, a progressive neurodegenerative disorder that leads to symptoms such as tremors, slow movement, limb stiffness, and balance issues. Scientists still don't know what causes the disease, but it's thought to develop due to a complex mixture of genetic and environmental factors, and treatment is still quite limited. But new research is putting scientists one step closer to some possible answers. In a recent study published in JCI Insight, researchers found a common virus, called human pegivirus (HPgV), in the brains of patients who had Parkinson's disease when they died. Although HPgV infections don't usually cause symptoms, researchers believe the virus may be playing a role in the development of Parkinson's. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/causes-parkinsons-disease-scientists-uncover-110000751.html

Awful 22-second video of the crash. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pilots 'switched off wrong engine' in South Korea crash that killed 179 The pilots of the South Korean airliner that crashed and killed 179 people switched off the wrong engine, a report has revealed. The Aviation and Railway Accident Investigation Board (ARAIB) found the right engine of the Jeju Air Boeing 737 stopped working after the plane collided with a flock of ducks, but that the left engine continued to produce power. However, instead of turning off the damaged engine, the pilots cut power to the side that was still operational, leaving the plane without any working engines. The investigators said: "A pilot may have mistakenly turned off the engine." The cockpit voice recorder captured the pilot saying [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/pilots-switched-off-wrong-engine-082403902.html

We are in urgent need of Sunday's Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== THE TAX-RETURN FORM A man from New York City found himself in a pickle after the IRS returned his tax return to him because of an incorrectly answered question. The question had asked him to list his dependents. A few days later, the IRS received the following response: "12.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployed deadbeats, 80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, and at least 450 idiots in Congress and numerous others who call themselves politicians, but are in fact nothing of the sort." In a strongly worded letter accompanying the man's tax return, the IRS responded, "This answer is completely unacceptable and an insult to this government institution." In turn, the man replied, "I thought that it was quite detailed. Who did I leave out?"

A hijack post and a post quoting it have been removed.