VAWA, Part 23

[HustlingStill 156]

2 hours ago, HopeHope__ said:

Hi folks! 
My Vawa was approved on 06/21 and a week ago I received RFE for my medical. I will send it next week but what is the next step? Schedule interview? Or they are going to email my GC without interview? 

which state are you in?

[Optimistic1986 146]

47 minutes ago, Sk N said:

which state are you in?

Hi guys, so how long do you have to wait for gc to be issued after submitting the medical exam in NYC? 

[Sparkle✨ 372]

4 hours ago, thrownaway said:

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.

Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)

I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.

I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Been there, done that. Rest assured, you’re not alone. My darkest moments were talking about the abuse in therapy and during the psychological examination/ evaluation. The entire process from a-z is a conducted tour of hell. 
Eventually, we move on and someday somewhere it will all make sense. We wouldn’t know joy without sorrow and hardship. I’m in no way justifying abuse. I just want you to know that you will be okay. Everything will turn out great. Focus on yourself:)

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk. 

 

[thrownaway 16]

3 hours ago, shiva32 said:

I have been there, done that. It's common to feel confused due to the manipulation and trauma from the abusive person. It doesn't have to be physical to prove a vawa case. There's a certain eloquence in your pain and confusion. Given that you express yourself so well, I think you can compose a very good statement for the petition. I found it extremely hard to compose and compile my vawa materials. I would shake and cry every time I wrote about the traumatic incidents. It's difficult and slow, but it can be done. Keep the three prongs in mind, And Tailor your petition accordingly. Maybe some of the more successful people with the approved petitions here can give you examples. 

Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. It actually lifted up my bad mood after talking to my therapist this morning. I was able to start working on my declaration that I have been putting off, thanks to you. As I articulate what happened to me in a written way, it is clear that what my abuser did to me is disturbing and I’m justified to feel the way I feel. I felt guilty even going for VAWA because part of me somehow questions myself what if I’m just overly antagonizing my spouse or somehow even tricking myself to just obtain green card. Your comment made me feel a lot better and gave me the courage to not give up and carry on.

[thrownaway 16]

1 hour ago, Sparkle✨ said:

Been there, done that. Rest assured, you’re not alone. My darkest moments were talking about the abuse in therapy and during the psychological examination/ evaluation. The entire process from a-z is a conducted tour of hell. 
Eventually, we move on and someday somewhere it will all make sense. We wouldn’t know joy without sorrow and hardship. I’m in no way justifying abuse. I just want you to know that you will be okay. Everything will turn out great. Focus on yourself:)

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk. 

 

Thank you for your comment. I feel fortunate to find this very supportive community with people in the same journey.

 

I am looking for a psychologist for my psychological evaluation in my area but it looks like everyone in town operates under same procedure. Just two 2-hour interviews to get the report done. As far as I learned from @sandranj’s advice, it is not enough to have a good evaluation report. How did your evaluation go & what did it look like? It would be difficult for me to afford additional therapy sessions from them. Should I expand my search for out of state psychologists but licensed in my state?

 

+ another question to anyone with knowledge in this, but is there any way I can find out if the USC spouse withdrew I-864? (I came with K1 visa so there is no I-130 to withdraw, but I assume he can still with I-864 which will reject my I-485) My EAD expedite hasn’t been processed over a month and I’m concerned if my spouse withdrew I-864 (he was considering of it) and I don’t know it yet.

Edited October 9, 2021 by thrownaway

[TBoneTX 43,433]

4 hours ago, hazel.60 said:

Hi guuuuys! OMG OMG

How wonderful!   

[T-B. note to self:  official joke worked again... official joke worked again...]

[mazi 49]

On 10/7/2021 at 1:27 PM, mazi said:

hello , has anyone received this type of update . i requested my ead extension which expires in 10 days be expedited as i will be out of a job. i wrote to vermont and attached all necessary documents. i got this update this morning. all three at the same time. Does any one know what this means? Thank you 

@sandranj or anyone who has expedited EAD. what happens next please and thank you . I do not know what this means. 

[Vale1 93]

On 10/5/2021 at 9:02 AM, MGJ_NY said:

Hi! 
 

When did you get you VAWA approval? 

I’m in NYC too (queens), got my VAWA approved on March 2021 and still haven’t heard a thing about my I485, no online updates either. 
 

I already reached out to Sen. Gillibrand but no response and I just recently asked my congressperson for help. 

Vawa approval letter received September 10th! 
no online updates. 

[SamIAm876 104]

Hi everyone,

can a VAWA greencard holder file for parents or will I have to wait until after naturalization?

 

thanks in advance 

[Vale1 93]

Hey all! I just received notice of appointment for biometrics for i485. Weird because they just reused old biometrics for ead card renewal. Would this extra step add extra wait or slow down the process? 

[HopeHope__ 72]

11 hours ago, Sk N said:

which state are you in?

FL - Miami

[Aster7 5]

On 10/7/2021 at 7:20 PM, Sparkle✨ said:

10 hours ago, thrownaway said:

Thank you for your comment. I feel fortunate to find this very supportive community with people in the same journey.

 

I am looking for a psychologist for my psychological evaluation in my area but it looks like everyone in town operates under same procedure. Just two 2-hour interviews to get the report done. As far as I learned from @sandranj’s advice, it is not enough to have a good evaluation report. How did your evaluation go & what did it look like? It would be difficult for me to afford additional therapy sessions from them. Should I expand my search for out of state psychologists but licensed in my state?

 

+ another question to anyone with knowledge in this, but is there any way I can find out if the USC spouse withdrew I-864? (I came with K1 visa so there is no I-130 to withdraw, but I assume he can still with I-864 which will reject my I-485) My EAD expedite hasn’t been processed over a month and I’m concerned if my spouse withdrew I-864 (he was considering of it) and I don’t know it yet.

 

You are really not alone feeling that way. And honestly....being forced to talk about things you just wish were gone, things that make you wish like you could disappear...it's just....it's just a paradox...when it comes to some things, you cannot get "justice" and "protection" without reporting, talking, being exanimated, being interrogated, etc, etc. All of this it's a violation in itself. It is just a paradox...like you have to get more abused to repair the abuse.... So, you really are not alone in your feelings...

 

As for the I-864, do you have the receipt number? Can you check the status online? But in the end, it does not really matter...you file your petition and fight on your own to stay here. You will make it!

 

[Aster7 5]

Also, wanted to thank you everyone who replied to my post.  Thank you for your useful suggestions and for being so available!

 

Have a great weekend!

[natalysmile 75]

16 hours ago, thrownaway said:

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.

Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)

I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.

I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Hi. I understand you.
And many here understand you. This is terrible. More than two years have passed, and I'm still going back to what it was ...
I even left America for Russia. I love America and have filed petitions from another country. Sometimes I mentally think that I am to blame, not the rapist. This is bad. But I'm going forward. Forward too! There are many kind and good people here on this forum. Time ... And all is well. Everything will work out.!
I hug.

[natalysmile 75]

15 hours ago, shiva32 said:

I have been there, done that. It's common to feel confused due to the manipulation and trauma from the abusive person. It doesn't have to be physical to prove a vawa case. There's a certain eloquence in your pain and confusion. Given that you express yourself so well, I think you can compose a very good statement for the petition. I found it extremely hard to compose and compile my vawa materials. I would shake and cry every time I wrote about the traumatic incidents. It's difficult and slow, but it can be done. Keep the three prongs in mind, And Tailor your petition accordingly. Maybe some of the more successful people with the approved petitions here can give you examples. 

Yes, the Truth. I, too, trembled and cried when I had to write all this ... even on paper, knowing that everyone would read it.
I was afraid that I were perplexed, that I was lying, and this would never happen. and I sometimes put off writing ... completely it was. but the people on this forum gave me strength !!! and wrote everything as it is. There is no weapon against Truth, God judges everything.