Out Status, Wants to Marry a USC. Same sex marriage.

[catiemeow 1]

2 minutes ago, milimelo said:

If this doesn’t scream fraud I don’t know what does. Married with three kids overstaying his visa. Realizing he can’t stay any longer finds a male usc and claims love to attempt getting GC through same sex marriage. Then he’ll dump him after getting GC and filing for his PI family. 

 

I feel bad for legitimate gay folks who fought hard to get same sex marriage approved as this guy is totally working against them (and for his own personal interests). 

 

Op, tell your friend to man up and go back to his wife and children. 

I can't judge them. I came here to ask the questions that I dont have the answer for them as you can see it's more complicated than most of us. I went through this whirlwind process back in 2008. 

 

I will however tell him that going through with this process is not a joke.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

2 hours ago, Sunnyland said:

Just one question. You mention he still is married to his wife in the Philippines and has 3 kids together. And now he found love with a man. Is this person an USC?

I honestly do wonder how immigration see this kind of situations. Out of status man living in the US (still married to a woman in another country and with children together). What I mean is that your friend will probably have to prove (after he divorces first spouse of course) that this new relationship is real and not to gain immigration status. Considering he is out of status right now in the US.

 

2 hours ago, geowrian said:

And also that he doesn't plan to marry, get a green card, then divorce and marry the first wife and bring her to the US. This is a common scam tactic.

I'm in no way implying that's the case with the OP. Just that it is something they will consider because people have tried to abuse the system this way.

Well I mean yes I understand the scepticism. But I can also see how someone from a more traditional society may have been in the closet for so long and now feels able to fully express himself. American men and women have done this too of course, suddenly come out after years of being married with kids. 

i didn’t actually wonder so mich about the gay bit as about whether it is a green card marriage. Either way yes there will be scrutiny as to how genuine the relationship is.

 

something else to consider, assuming this is a genuine relationship and they manage to get married and the guy eventually is able to file for naturalization: he is going to have to show that he has continued to support his kids as part of showing good moral character. Do you know if he sends them money? And has a record of it?

[catiemeow 1]

52 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

 

Well I mean yes I understand the scepticism. But I can also see how someone from a more traditional society may have been in the closet for so long and now feels able to fully express himself. American men and women have done this too of course, suddenly come out after years of being married with kids. 

i didn’t actually wonder so mich about the gay bit as about whether it is a green card marriage. Either way yes there will be scrutiny as to how genuine the relationship is.

 

something else to consider, assuming this is a genuine relationship and they manage to get married and the guy eventually is able to file for naturalization: he is going to have to show that he has continued to support his kids as part of showing good moral character. Do you know if he sends them money? And has a record of it?

He came clean to me that he has been feeling that he's gay for a long time. But because of his family who are quite prominent in our province, it would cause quite a controversy. So when he came to the US to work, I believe that's when he felt free from his sexuality. 

 

Supporting the kids is not an issue. He sends money every month and also they have businesses in the Phils which provide a comfortable life. Needless to say,  I feel bad for him that people look at him this way that he is just using the gay guy to obtain a status. I know both of them and they seem to have really genuine relationship. 

 

Back in college, my friend has always been a happy person, such a ham. 

But if they do get married, I wish them luck. 

 

 

 

You may be right, that he came out of the closet upon moving to the US. 

[Going through 5,668]

3 hours ago, catiemeow said:

Supporting the kids is not an issue. He sends money every month

Make sure he retains some sort of proof of this.  If your friend ever reaches the N400 stage, he's going to need it.

 

First step is for him to obtain a legal divorce if he wishes to marry the new man.  He should not apply for any marriage-based GC before that is finalized.

Also keep in mind that him being out of status makes him deportable at any time.

[Abies 1,713]

6 hours ago, catiemeow said:

He came clean to me that he has been feeling that he's gay for a long time. But because of his family who are quite prominent in our province, it would cause quite a controversy. So when he came to the US to work, I believe that's when he felt free from his sexuality. 

 

Supporting the kids is not an issue. He sends money every month and also they have businesses in the Phils which provide a comfortable life. Needless to say,  I feel bad for him that people look at him this way that he is just using the gay guy to obtain a status. I know both of them and they seem to have really genuine relationship. 

 

Back in college, my friend has always been a happy person, such a ham. 

But if they do get married, I wish them luck. 

 

 

 

You may be right, that he came out of the closet upon moving to the US. 

You seem to know so much about this your friend or are you the Philippino?

 

Just asking 

[catiemeow 1]

11 minutes ago, Abies said:

You seem to know so much about this your friend or are you the Philippino?

 

Just asking 

No. 

[Sunnyland 639]

13 hours ago, catiemeow said:

 

You have a good point. 

My friend is the Filipino Citizen, he is with a USC. 

 

They would then go a lot of scrutiny. That's totally understandable.

 

Thanks for your response. 

 

 

I'm not judging your friend or anything. Just wondering if the USCIS will consider his present/past choice life. I mean he does have a wife and 3 kids in another country and he is out of status living in the US and claiming love to a guy that happens to be USC and thru that future marriage (after he divorces his wife) he can get a legal status again. Anybody could see a potential red flag here. And it's very likely USCIS will take this into consideration at one point.

[Jojo92122 1,924]

Many people come out of the closet later in life after being in heterosexual relationships, marriages, and having children.

 

For example; my sister was married with three kids.  After her divorce, she came out of the closet.  As an American, the decision to come out the closet was difficult.  Coming out to her Catholic Asian family was hell since many people told her she was evil.  

The PI is very Catholic.  What do you think it's like for gays there?  Before you judge this as fake, consider that being gay in the US is very different from being gay in the PI.  In some countries, being gay can mean death.  Some people have to live lies until they can freely be gay without persecution.  

[Sukie 1,440]

Catiemeow, you are a Filipino or Filipina (or at least your flag says so) - isn't divorce illegal in PI?  Won't he have to get an annulment instead?  And isn't that pretty hard when you have three kids?

 

Tell your friend he has to clean up what he has left behind in PI first.  THEN go down the marriage-to-a-USC path.  Otherwise, it will get messy, and your friend may be kicked out the US (or he will be anyway if he is caught).

 

I'm sorry for the tough answers.

 

Sukie in NY

[geowrian 22,336]

3 minutes ago, Sukie said:

Catiemeow, you are a Filipino or Filipina (or at least your flag says so) - isn't divorce illegal in PI?  Won't he have to get an annulment instead?  And isn't that pretty hard when you have three kids?

He can divorce in the US and that's fine for the US immigration-wise.

While in the Philippines, the second marriage can be an issue if discovered/reported.

An annulment would be the cleanest solution, although that can take 6 months to a couple years. And it's not easy.

Edited June 30, 2018 by geowrian

[Sukie 1,440]

8 minutes ago, geowrian said:

He can divorce in the US and that's fine for the US immigration-wise.

While in the Philippines, the second marriage can be an issue if discovered/reported.

An annulment would be the cleanest solution, although that can take 6 months to a couple years. And it's not easy.

If his family/wife's family is prominent in their area, then I feel for the guy.  He might never be able to return to PI!  Thanks for the info, Geowrian.

 

Sukie in NY

[kemm360 144]

Ridiculously impossible 

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

1 hour ago, Sukie said:

If his family/wife's family is prominent in their area, then I feel for the guy.  He might never be able to return to PI!  Thanks for the info, Geowrian.

 

Sukie in NY

Because of the divorce or because he’s gay?

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

4 hours ago, Jojo92122 said:

Many people come out of the closet later in life after being in heterosexual relationships, marriages, and having children.

 

For example; my sister was married with three kids.  After her divorce, she came out of the closet.  As an American, the decision to come out the closet was difficult.  Coming out to her Catholic Asian family was hell since many people told her she was evil.  

The PI is very Catholic.  What do you think it's like for gays there?  Before you judge this as fake, consider that being gay in the US is very different from being gay in the PI.  In some countries, being gay can mean death.  Some people have to live lies until they can freely be gay without persecution.  

The Philippines while they don't accept same sex marriages are quite accepting of a gay lifestyle, at least in my experiences there, gay beauty contests are quite common

[Jojo92122 1,924]

36 minutes ago, Randyandyuni said:

The Philippines while they don't accept same sex marriages are quite accepting of a gay lifestyle, at least in my experiences there, gay beauty contests are quite common

Being gay in the big city is common where you can hide it from your family.  It's another thing for your family to know that you are gay.  I've met a lot of people who live this way; openly gay with friends in the city, but hiding it all when they return to the home village.