Toxic Responses To Non-Immigrant Posts

[LisaRee 11]

I have searched for answers to visa questions on this forum and found very toxic responses to non-immigrant posts.

A random person asks questions about student visa for a (young) relative and the chances of obtaining such a visa. You know, WHAT THIS FORUM IS SUPPOSED TO ADDRESS.

A large number of the responses attack the OP. ''Why WOULD you want to school in the US? ''Are their no schools in XYZ country?'' ''You wont get it because youre trying to defraud...''

 

It's absolutely ridiculous the way responders take offense on behalf of the CO or the Embassies and by extension.. the country. I know a lot of people look up to this country as a solution to their worries or a respite at least but responses are so condescending and vicious that i wonder what the aim is. To dissuade them from coming into the country or  just ridicule them for being ''unfortunate'' enough to have to apply for visas.

 

If i saw the vile on this platform, i wouldn't have registered when i did. But then, i'm in immigrant category so i didn't notice at all. I was mostly encouraged from every angle. So what is it? Everyone is criminal until an immigrant? It makes no sense.

 

The vile makes no sense.

 

Do better.

[Unlockable 7,315]

For every "toxic" post that you read I can post 1000 plus where the members have been helpful.

 

Also, we don't know what you consider toxic. Some people take anything opposite of what they want to hear as a negative response.

 

For example, a couple of years ago a person asked about what visa could they use to bring over their neice. We reaponded that there were no visas to sponsor neices and nephews. What resulted was the OP getting upset. The OP even went as far as to send me a message calling me a lonely American who doesn't know anytging about family. All I did was tell her/him there wasn't a way for them to bring over their sibling's daughter.

 

Sometimes it goes both ways.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

59 minutes ago, LisaRee said:

I have searched for answers to visa questions on this forum and found very toxic responses to non-immigrant posts.

A random person asks questions about student visa for a (young) relative and the chances of obtaining such a visa. You know, WHAT THIS FORUM IS SUPPOSED TO ADDRESS.

A large number of the responses attack the OP. ''Why WOULD you want to school in the US? ''Are their no schools in XYZ country?'' ''You wont get it because youre trying to defraud...''

 

It's absolutely ridiculous the way responders take offense on behalf of the CO or the Embassies and by extension.. the country. I know a lot of people look up to this country as a solution to their worries or a respite at least but responses are so condescending and vicious that i wonder what the aim is. To dissuade them from coming into the country or  just ridicule them for being ''unfortunate'' enough to have to apply for visas.

 

If i saw the vile on this platform, i wouldn't have registered when i did. But then, i'm in immigrant category so i didn't notice at all. I was mostly encouraged from every angle. So what is it? Everyone is criminal until an immigrant? It makes no sense.

 

The vile makes no sense.

 

Do better.

It is a flag when a relative in the US is trying to obtain a student visa for another relative.  Sorry.

IF:  the potential student (who is responsible for applying and being accepted and being enrolled by the SEVP-approved school before applying for the visa) were to ask the same question the answers would probably have been different.

[doggieandsam 765]

I agree, there can be unhelpful / judgy responses on here but often it is more about people trying to game the system or exploit loopholes and then they come here asking for help from people who are trying to do the right thing, following the rules, jumping through all the proper hoops, and enduring long separations from their loved ones - so yeah, they will not get sympathy here.

 

also, just because one is told their plan is not feasible does not mean posters deliberately set out to be rude or toxic or judgy.

Edited April 14, 2018 by doggieandsam

[Starkilla09 366]

16 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

It is a flag when a relative in the US is trying to obtain a student visa for another relative.  Sorry.

IF:  the potential student (who is responsible for applying and being accepted and being enrolled by the SEVP-approved school before applying for the visa) were to ask the same question the answers would probably have been different.

This is not true. It is perfectly ok for a relative to fill out a non immigrant or immigrant visa application and it’s is no “flag” in any sense. The applicant however is responsible in such a scenario to sign off the application prior to sending after confirming the information is accurate. There are instances a relative can perfectly fill out forms esp of the relative is more versed with the process or the applicant can’t do it themselves for whatever reason. That’s why most immigration forms have sections to be completed by any other person other than the applicant who filled out the form.

Edited April 14, 2018 by Starkilla09

[LisaRee 11]

1 hour ago, NuestraUnion said:

For every "toxic" post that you read I can post 1000 plus where the members have been helpful.

 

Also, we don't know what you consider toxic. Some people take anything opposite of what they want to hear as a negative response.

 

For example, a couple of years ago a person asked about what visa could they use to bring over their neice. We reaponded that there were no visas to sponsor neices and nephews. What resulted was the OP getting upset. The OP even went as far as to send me a message calling me a lonely American who doesn't know anytging about family. All I did was tell her/him there wasn't a way for them to bring over their sibling's daughter.

 

Sometimes it goes both ways.

That's really awful. Sorry that happened to you.

 

I have found that language doesn't scale properly across continents. I am dual-citizen American and i get how easy it is to insult without intending to and to politely insult people.

[Starkilla09 366]

1 hour ago, LisaRee said:

I have searched for answers to visa questions on this forum and found very toxic responses to non-immigrant posts.

A random person asks questions about student visa for a (young) relative and the chances of obtaining such a visa. You know, WHAT THIS FORUM IS SUPPOSED TO ADDRESS.

A large number of the responses attack the OP. ''Why WOULD you want to school in the US? ''Are their no schools in XYZ country?'' ''You wont get it because youre trying to defraud...''

 

It's absolutely ridiculous the way responders take offense on behalf of the CO or the Embassies and by extension.. the country. I know a lot of people look up to this country as a solution to their worries or a respite at least but responses are so condescending and vicious that i wonder what the aim is. To dissuade them from coming into the country or  just ridicule them for being ''unfortunate'' enough to have to apply for visas.

 

If i saw the vile on this platform, i wouldn't have registered when i did. But then, i'm in immigrant category so i didn't notice at all. I was mostly encouraged from every angle. So what is it? Everyone is criminal until an immigrant? It makes no sense.

 

The vile makes no sense.

 

Do better.

Again there’s a great deal of truth in what you’re saying. You’ll come across the following types of posts here from people; helpful ones where people will give you answers straight up pertaining to your question be it positive or negative, unrelated ones to your question where others magically become CBP/USCIS/or consular officers to get to make assumptions and judge you, and those who ask questions to further “decide” how to answer you. All you have to do is get the helpful ones and ignore the rest. It’s all behind the screen anyway.

Edited April 14, 2018 by Starkilla09

[LisaRee 11]

29 minutes ago, Nitas_man said:

It is a flag when a relative in the US is trying to obtain a student visa for another relative.  Sorry.

IF:  the potential student (who is responsible for applying and being accepted and being enrolled by the SEVP-approved school before applying for the visa) were to ask the same question the answers would probably have been different.

A flag you feel the need to issue a blue paper to?

Most people outside the US are confused by the range of information ''available'' to them. I spend months researching a visa category AND i'm American.

Most people outside the US ask their relatives to search out information for them because ''internet connection is atrocious'' or ''some sites are blocked''. There are many reasons the actual applicant isnt on visajourney asking those questions.

 

My mother applied and got a B2 visa on her own with a 3 minute interview because I, THE CHILD, researched on this site.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

15 minutes ago, Starkilla09 said:

This is not true. It is perfectly ok for a relative to fill out a non immigrant or immigrant visa application and it’s is no “flag” in any sense. The applicant however is responsible in such a scenario to sign off the application prior to sending after confirming the information is accurate. There are instances a relative can perfectly fill out forms esp of the relative is more versed with the process or the applicant can’t do it themselves for whatever reason. That’s why most immigration forms have sections to be completed by any other person other than the applicant who filled out the form.

I have filled out every single document for 11 years for my wife and that is not what I am talking about.  The OP in that thread not only asked about studying but also asked about the relative living in the US for the entire duration of the study period, and living at a private home not on campus. 

The responses were not toxic, they were practical. 

Nothing in that post implied following the rules applicable for a student visa.

The visa application process, which all of us try to be helpful on, is the last step for a student.  The first step is application to and acceptance by a school.  A vague plan to live full-time in the US while "studying" raises flags all over the place.

 

 

[LisaRee 11]

3 minutes ago, Starkilla09 said:

Again there’s a great deal of truth in what you’re saying. You’ll come across the following types of posts here from people; helpful ones where people will give you answers straight up be it positive of negative, unrelated ones pertaining to your question where others get to make assumptions and judge you, and those who ask questions to further “decide” how to answer you. All you have to do is get the helpful ones and ignore the rest. 

Thank you Starkilla. I appreciate this response. You have surmised perfectly. I do take the useful responses just cant help be affected by the toxicity. I'll do better myself to ignore.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

4 minutes ago, LisaRee said:

A flag you feel the need to issue a blue paper to?

 

For that case?  yep

Edited April 14, 2018 by Nitas_man

[LisaRee 11]

32 minutes ago, doggieandsam said:

I agree, there can be unhelpful / judgy responses on here but often it is more about people trying to game the system or exploit loopholes and then they come here asking for help from people who are trying to do the right thing, following the rules, jumping through all the proper hoops, and enduring long separations from their loved ones - so yeah, they will not get sympathy here.

 

also, just because one is told their plan is not feasible does not mean posters deliberately set out to be rude or toxic or judgy.

I never said negation equals toxicity. A plan that will not work will not work, how you communicate that negative result can be toxic or not. Your choice.

1 minute ago, Nitas_man said:

For that case?  yep

Sir,

 

you are a consular officer?

[Nitas_man 3,100]

1 hour ago, LisaRee said:

Everyone is criminal until an immigrant? It makes no sense.

 

 

Every non-immigrant is considered an intending immigrant yes.  Take that policy up with USCIS not us.

[LisaRee 11]

26 minutes ago, Starkilla09 said:

This is not true. It is perfectly ok for a relative to fill out a non immigrant or immigrant visa application and it’s is no “flag” in any sense. The applicant however is responsible in such a scenario to sign off the application prior to sending after confirming the information is accurate. There are instances a relative can perfectly fill out forms esp of the relative is more versed with the process or the applicant can’t do it themselves for whatever reason. That’s why most immigration forms have sections to be completed by any other person other than the applicant who filled out the form.

Thank you Starkilla09.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

1 minute ago, LisaRee said:

I never said negation equals toxicity. A plan that will not work will not work, how you communicate that negative result can be toxic or not. Your choice.

Sir,

 

you are a consular officer?

Nope and I try to help everyone I can on this site.