He doesnt want to come to US now but does not want to talk about divorce

[KazuriSana 324]

di·vorce

dəˈvôrs/

noun

 

1. 1.

   the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.

   "her divorce from her first husband"

   synonyms:

   dissolution, annulment, (official) separation "she wants a divorce"

verb

1. 1.

   legally dissolve one's marriage with (someone).

   "he divorced his first wife after 10 months"

   synonyms:

   dissolve one's marriage, annul one's marriage, end one's marriage, get a divorce "her parents have divorced"

 

That. Period.

Edited February 22, 2017 by BlessedAssurance

[Mountain Climber 186]

47 minutes ago, ckurt said:

I think he is using you to get his GC. I am sorry but no loving husband would refuse to see his wife. I suggest you get a divorce and move on

+1

[David & Diana R 1,005]

11 hours ago, Hollywud52 said:

I posted earlier about an I130 situation. My husband is in Dubai. He got a new job about 3 months ago and immediately started saying he might need to "delay" coming to the US. Now he says that his family needs him, he is sending them a lot of money, they all depend on him and he will "never" move here because I and others think he married me for a green card and he doesnt like it. By the way he will go a week without even saying hello to me now. He first said "I will arrange for you to come to Dubai every couple month and when you retire (7 years) you can move here for good but I will not come to the US". So I called his bluff and said "ok". When I asked when can I come back then it's "well I am sending money to my father every other day" and a lot of other excuses. So I said ok, so you WANT to arrange for me to come visit but you CANT is that it? He said "yes". So then I offered to pay half of my ticket and he said "do you know how much it costs for you to come for even10 days" I said no, but this time we would not need a hotel for me because we are MARRIED. I could stay with you. He lives with his family. Not ideal but it would work. Then he said "'yes but you have other expenses" in other words he does not want me to come visit. Now the latest is that his Mother started crying and insisting that he marry someone there and she is looking for him a new wife! How can he afford a whole wife if he can't afford even a little of the one he has! He has never sent me any money and we have been married for a year. Here is my question, if he is not going to come here like we agreed and looks like I'm not going there, then why is it that every time I mention "divorce" he says he has not even thought of it? By the way, I am 20 years older htan him. Why will he not talk to me about divorce and just end this ? How does it benefit him to stay married to me? 

Divorce him!  He doesn't have to come to the US for you to divorce him.  Dump his sorry okole.

[Kosi Wahala 153]

I have a feeling, that since you have posted asking us...a bunch of strangers...you already know what you need to do. 

No one deserves to be treated that way by their spouse, but he can only treat you that way if you let him. Divorce him, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, heal and move on with your life. 

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

He doesn't want to talk to you, he doesn't want you to visit, he doesn't want to come here, what more is there to say ?

He doesn't seem to care if he is married or divorced and why should you care to be married to him ?

 

[caliliving 606]

18 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I agree with him lying and buying time to get the 10 yr card. He thinks he can string you along, get the 10 yr card come over never having to step foot inside your home. Then he can bring the 'real' wife.

exactly...

 

please, you do realize that he is USING YOU to get the 10yr card, step foot in america and never see you again? please, dont be like some of those stupid people i see on 90 day fiance! he has another girlfriend over there as well that in 5yrs he will be bringing over....

 

its hard to admit you were used for a gc.. but the easier you can, the quicker you can move on and find someone better.. remember, you arent the first person

 

please need to remember marriage is teh EASIEST path to a greencrad!!!!!! trust me, getting a work visa to come to america is nearly impossible.. but u can meet soemone once, fall in love and be here in less then a year!!!! hes a scammer and a rat... dont fall for his BS! 

[caliliving 606]

please, also, he knows he wont pass the ROC! so please divorce him now and move on with your life!!

 

let me guess, you are a 10+ year older woman then him, married before with kids... he doesnt want to be with you he is using you! please you are worthy of more.. move on

[Auds 223]

Holly - we have spoken on the phone etc about this.  Its an outright scam.  How many more people are you looking to tell you that?!?!

 

Of course he doesn't want a divorce what if he changes his mind about coming to the US.  You are perfectly naive to be dragged along! 

 

I have spent a lot of time talking to you about this.  Please just stop calling him ever.  You were scammed, lucky he changed his mind about coming to the US.  He is so not thinking of a woman his mother's age as his wife.  This marriage doesn't even stand in Islam as it wasn't consummated.

 

All the nonsense about needing your permission to marry again...  he can marry so very easily without anything.  I live in Dubai, I know.

 

Sorry to be abrupt - but you need to wake up!

 

 

[Hollywud52 0]

I actually saw a lawyer here about a month ago. I can file and will file for divorce here in the states after mid March as the law in my state requires a one year "separation". A close friend of mine suggested I post again in this forum to see what possible reason he could have to try to avoid a divorce because after reading online the information about being issued a greencard it looks like he HAS to live with me, not just be MARRIED to me to receive a green card so that is what I was questioning. But several of you have said that he does NOT have to actually live with me to get it so I am getting conflicting information   between what I am reading and what I am hearing here. I would prefer he agreed to give me a divorce and did it there but if he does not I wil divorce him here wihout his permission, it will just be slightly more difficult and at my expense. I have actually asked him for a divorce and he has not responded. 

[Unlockable 7,309]

Could also be a case where he doesn't fully understand the requirements of permanent resident status based on marriage and thinks he can get a GC without living with you. But in any case it is his loss. You deserve better. Sounds like you will make the right decision. Good luck to you.

[NikLR 13,220]

If he waits for the 2 year period before entering the USA he gets a 10 year green card.  He doesnt even need to see you when he gets off the plane and you are still on the hook for the i-864.  Stop the process now.  Divorce asap.  

Im sorry this has happened to you.  I know it sucks and must break your heart.  

[Lemonslice 4,636]

If he does not have his green card yet, you should be able to cancel your affidavit of support, no?

Members who were "divorcing" have seen their spouse come to the USA with their spousal visa # can't search now but many many times.

Edited February 23, 2017 by Lemonslice

[Ontarkie 13,995]

You are petitioning a spouse, once he enters he gets a stamp in his passport that acts as a temporary GC. He never has to step foot in your house. He just has to change his address either at entry or shortly after. Pay the GC fee and have the card mailed to whatever address he marks on the file. No he does not need to live with you to get the GC he gets it on entry. Now if he enters before 2 yrs of marriage he would need to remove conditions and for that he would need to show evidence. This is why we are telling you he is stalling, so he can enter after 2 yrs of marriage so he get the 10 yr card without ever needing to live with you. He would never ever have to see you after he gets off the plane, he does not live with you for even a second. 

[milimelo 4,299]

I'd contact the embassy, NVC and USCIS and withdraw both I-130 and I-864 as a preventive measure. 

[Kosi Wahala 153]

2 hours ago, Hollywud52 said:

I actually saw a lawyer here about a month ago. I can file and will file for divorce here in the states after mid March as the law in my state requires a one year "separation". A close friend of mine suggested I post again in this forum to see what possible reason he could have to try to avoid a divorce because after reading online the information about being issued a greencard it looks like he HAS to live with me, not just be MARRIED to me to receive a green card so that is what I was questioning. But several of you have said that he does NOT have to actually live with me to get it so I am getting conflicting information   between what I am reading and what I am hearing here. I would prefer he agreed to give me a divorce and did it there but if he does not I wil divorce him here wihout his permission, it will just be slightly more difficult and at my expense. I have actually asked him for a divorce and he has not responded. 

You posted here because you have your heart tangled up in a really, really bad deal. 

As others have already pointed out, he does not have to live with you for even one second. All he has to do is buy time, avoid you, and wait out the two years...then he steps off an airplane, has his hands on a 10 year green card, and you will never see him. Stop further emotional damage to yourself, and do what you know you have to do, including contacting USCIS. 

I am going to be brutally honest with you. I am a woman married to a man from a "high fraud" country. I have known my husband, personally, for over 18 years. He is my best friend, and has been for a very, very long time. However, my husband has never been able to EVER visit me here in the United States, exactly because of the sort of scam you describe in your relationship with your "spouse." When the writing is so clearly on the wall, and yet the woman cannot disengage her heart long enough to engage her brain, in order to look at the situation for what it is, she ends up getting burned...then, and only then, does she start reaching out to USCIS and the DoS with her story of how she was taken for a fool by a fraudster. At that point, all the U.S. Government can do is tighten the reins and make it more and more difficult for those who are in legitimate relationships. 

I am sorry if my words seem unkind. My heart truly does hurt for you. But, you know exactly what is going on with your "husband." Another poster mentioned speaking to you over the phone. I don't care to know if there is any truth to the statement that your marriage has not been consummated, but let's be real - there is a lot going on with this "relationship" you are in that just is not right. 

I pray for wisdom and healing for you.