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MinCharlie

Help! My fiance is not ready to get married after 8 months of waiting for K1 to be approve

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My fiance ( 57 ) and I (40) have been dating for 14 years long distace. It took so long because I have to wait for his kids to grow up, wait for his divorce to finalized and finally he is officially divorce last Sep2014.

We were so exicited compiling everything for the K1 application in Oct2014. He hired a lawyer to help becuase he doesnt want any mistakes and he want me to be with him fast.

We had a "pre wedding photo session" and a wedding reception ( for my family and friends here but nothing is sign legally) We even went for our "honeymoon" in March2015

Everthing was going great until last month when we both went back to our country from a vacation. He sounded cold on the phone but still would say he loves me. I feel that he may need times to sort out his things ( he got a new house and a land for us, he was so ready for me to go live with him) So I thought he is stressing out because of settling into the house, land and his work. I suggested we went on a break by not talking on the phone.

Few days later when I text him if we could talk, he said no and he needed time to thinkg about our future.

Few more days later, I text him again to see if we could talk.

His respond was like a knife that stab right into my heart : He does not believe he could go through with brining me to America and that he is happy the 14 years we had together but he is not ready to get married again

I did not respond to him after that hurtful text. A week later, I text him again to tell him I miss him, at the same time I also wrote him a letter about how much fun we had and I know he loves me, also asked him what had happend between us. I even wrote down the pros and cons if he gave up now. He said thank you for the mail although he is still unsure about having me over to America.

Today, again I have to be the one text him to ask if he read my mail.

He did but he still cannot go through with this. When I asked what is the core problem ? he can take as long as he need but let me know how he is doing form time to time.

Another hurtful text : that he is convinced he does not want to get married again to anyone!

When I asked if he still loves me. He said yes and he will always loves me!

Then I asked he wants to grow old alone?

He just said maybe he can text me again tomorrow!

In the past 14 years, there are a few times he was unsure about us but I convinced him he indeed loves me, so we are always back together. But I am not sure now if I will lose him forever

Please help!! What can I do to convince him again?

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Wow I'm so sorry about that. After waiting for 14 years that must be a hurtful blow. You said your application was prepared in Oct 2014 so hAve you received an NOA2 as yet? Is he planning on canceling the petition?

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No, NOA2 still not approved.

The good news is he has not withdraw the application yet. So I think he may still considering this whole thing.

I know him, he is the one who needs a lot of time to think. I really wish he could think it through this time.

Right now I just want to die

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Yes. I saw the divorce degree and I have a case number from NOA1. He email that receipt to me. Everything is so genuine. I don't think he was playing with me. He might just have cold feet

The honeymoon trip was fantastic. After that we met again in May and tha's when he acted quiet and refuse to plan a future meet up trip. We usually will plan our next trip when or before we met

When I was in Housto with him, he evacuated from the hurricane with me instead of evacuated with his then family. When it comes to life and death situation, he picked me. That's why I know he loves me

Edited by MinCharlie

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Houston? I suggest you wait at least another week, as we're due for a mother of a tropical storm circa 4:00 AM on Tuesday Morning.


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My fiance ( 57 ) and I (40) have been dating for 14 years long distace. It took so long because I have to wait for his kids to grow up, wait for his divorce to finalized and finally he is officially divorce last Sep2014.

We were so exicited compiling everything for the K1 application in Oct2014. He hired a lawyer to help becuase he doesnt want any mistakes and he want me to be with him fast.

We had a "pre wedding photo session" and a wedding reception ( for my family and friends here but nothing is sign legally) We even went for our "honeymoon" in March2015

Everthing was going great until last month when we both went back to our country from a vacation. He sounded cold on the phone but still would say he loves me. I feel that he may need times to sort out his things ( he got a new house and a land for us, he was so ready for me to go live with him) So I thought he is stressing out because of settling into the house, land and his work. I suggested we went on a break by not talking on the phone.

Few days later when I text him if we could talk, he said no and he needed time to thinkg about our future.

Few more days later, I text him again to see if we could talk.

His respond was like a knife that stab right into my heart : He does not believe he could go through with brining me to America and that he is happy the 14 years we had together but he is not ready to get married again

I did not respond to him after that hurtful text. A week later, I text him again to tell him I miss him, at the same time I also wrote him a letter about how much fun we had and I know he loves me, also asked him what had happend between us. I even wrote down the pros and cons if he gave up now. He said thank you for the mail although he is still unsure about having me over to America.

Today, again I have to be the one text him to ask if he read my mail.

He did but he still cannot go through with this. When I asked what is the core problem ? he can take as long as he need but let me know how he is doing form time to time.

Another hurtful text : that he is convinced he does not want to get married again to anyone!

When I asked if he still loves me. He said yes and he will always loves me!

Then I asked he wants to grow old alone?

He just said maybe he can text me again tomorrow!

In the past 14 years, there are a few times he was unsure about us but I convinced him he indeed loves me, so we are always back together. But I am not sure now if I will lose him forever

Please help!! What can I do to convince him again?

So if I get this straight the two of you were together while he was still married (I assume a divorce can't take 10+ years)... I'm sorry to break it to you but most men who have an affair never really get together with the person they're having an affair with. And if he haven't tried to get you over to the states in 14 years that should be proof enough. If he really loved you, he would have brought you over despite the kids. Kids are resilient.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I am sorry he strung you along for 14 years.






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The divorce took 7 years to finalized. We dated for 6 years before he started the divorce. He told me he was single when we started dating. He only tell me the truth 3 years after we dated. So I waited 3 years for his kids to grow older then he initiated the divorce. It was finalized last year sept2014. And we started the k1 Oct2014. Almost immediately after the divorce. The reason I believe he is genuine was he wouldn't have started the K1 if he is playing with me.

Edited by MinCharlie

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