i need help my wife of 9 years wants a divorce

[Ridcully41 1]

hello everyone

I hope someone can help me. I have just moved to the US and been here for 3 weeks, my wife of 9 years (USC)calmly announced today she wants a divorce.She has said the time apart was too long and she has no feelings for me now.Needless to say i'm devasted about this and our daughter is distraught, she has only just got her daddy back..I guess what i'm asking is do I have to go back to the UK? it has taken me so long to get here in the US to be with my family,i really couldn't stand not to be near my daughter as she grows up, I missed so much whilst waiting for the visa, on a selfish note I have nothing there now, I gave up a very good job and i sold everything we owned back in the UK apart from one property.I don't have any family that i'm close to anymore apart from my brother.So do I have to go back? what are my rights as a father on visits if I do? I hope someone can help me,thank you in advance for any help you can give me.

[Sandra G. 5,043]

I assume youv entered with IR1,that being said you have the permanent Green card then you are good. You dont have to leave the USA, but you can have some problems when applying for naturalization if you dont have commingling finances to prove a bonafide marriage. Did your wife live with you in your home Country before?

Edited March 13, 2015 by sandranj

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

There is nothing he has to prove about his marriage. The greencard should be good for 10 years. He can renew it over and over for 10 more. If he wants to become a citizen, he waits 5 years and applies. It is only those who apply after 3 years that have to be married to their USC petitioner.

[lost_at_sea 995]

I'm sorry - that really sucks. From an immigration point of view, you're fine though if you've got a 10 year GC.

As for custody of your daughter and visitation rights, etc. this forum isn't really qualified to answer - you should talk to your wife about it and seek expert opinion, especially if you do decide you'd rather go back to the UK to live.

[Darnell 8,478]

assumption - you hold an IR-1 visa in your passport,

which will lead to a 10 year green card once ELIS processing is finished.

so, you don't have to return to UK now or even after the divorce is finalized (which could take anywhere from 60 days to 5 years, depending on the family law stuff at the state where you reside, the court's calendar, contested vs agreed,etc) .

For now, I suggest you go to SSA office, apply for SSN, get a USA Bank account, get a postal box at a post office nearby (contract for a year) and wait out the green card arrival [going to the address listed in the DS-260, so pay attention to that, talk with your wife about awaiting for the green card]

With the SSN and the endorsement stamp in your passport and the visa stamp in your passport, you can work without waiting for the physical greencard - suggest you get a job asap and try to find a room-share, room-mate situation, nearby your wife's house, so you can visit with your daughter easily.

That's it for now - you not have any immigration issues. How do I know this? My wife and I suffered from the exact same situation, albeit in reverse [she's the foreigner, she wanted a divorce within 2 weeks of arriving here, I fought tooth and nail about it and acquiesced] and we studied up about repurcussions on immigration status for her 10 year card.

Edited March 13, 2015 by Darnell

[Ridcully41 1]

hello everyone

I hope someone can help me. I have just moved to the US and been here for 3 weeks, my wife of 9 years (USC)calmly announced today she wants a divorce.She has said the time apart was too long and she has no feelings for me now.Needless to say i'm devasted about this and our daughter is distraught, she has only just got her daddy back..I guess what i'm asking is do I have to go back to the UK? it has taken me so long to get here in the US to be with my family,i really couldn't stand not to be near my daughter as she grows up, I missed so much whilst waiting for the visa, on a selfish note I have nothing there now, I gave up a very good job and i sold everything we owned back in the UK apart from one property.I don't have any family that i'm close to anymore apart from my brother.So do I have to go back? what are my rights as a father on visits if I do? I hope someone can help me,thank you in advance for any help you can give me.

[ItsGonnaBeWorthIt 191]

if you been married for 9 years I think you have a 10 year green card correct? if so your good to go! you can stay .

[Ontarkie 14,190]

~~Duplicate threads merged. Please do not make more then one thread for the same topic.~~

[ascertainLovE 165]

assumption - you hold an IR-1 visa in your passport,

which will lead to a 10 year green card once ELIS processing is finished.

so, you don't have to return to UK now or even after the divorce is finalized (which could take anywhere from 60 days to 5 years, depending on the family law stuff at the state where you reside, the court's calendar, contested vs agreed,etc) .

For now, I suggest you go to SSA office, apply for SSN, get a USA Bank account, get a postal box at a post office nearby (contract for a year) and wait out the green card arrival [going to the address listed in the DS-260, so pay attention to that, talk with your wife about awaiting for the green card]

With the SSN and the endorsement stamp in your passport and the visa stamp in your passport, you can work without waiting for the physical greencard - suggest you get a job asap and try to find a room-share, room-mate situation, nearby your wife's house, so you can visit with your daughter easily.

That's it for now - you not have any immigration issues. How do I know this? My wife and I suffered from the exact same situation, albeit in reverse [she's the foreigner, she wanted a divorce within 2 weeks of arriving here, I fought tooth and nail about it and acquiesced] and we studied up about repurcussions on immigration status for her 10 year card.

what was her excuse for asking for a divorce so quickly? It boggles my mind how that could happen. Part of me thinks that the distance (thanks US government) played a part in it. Sorry to hear that.

[Cathi 5,740]

what was her excuse for asking for a divorce so quickly? It boggles my mind how that could happen. Part of me thinks that the distance (thanks US government) played a part in it. Sorry to hear that.

read his original post. He stated very clearly that in the time apart she fell out of love. It's sad, but it happens

[ascertainLovE 165]

read his original post. He stated very clearly that in the time apart she fell out of love. It's sad, but it happens

I was asking Darnell.

[Ridcully41 1]

~~Duplicate threads merged. Please do not make more then one thread for the same topic.~~

sorry about that

[Darnell 8,478]

I was asking Darnell.

is ok - the 'why' doesna bear repetition, truly. I may post something once the divorce is finalized, but I'm not one to thread-hijaak, aye?

Edited March 13, 2015 by Darnell

[Ridcully41 1]

Thank you all for your replies

I did emigrate on the ir1 visa, it is somewhat of a relief that I do not have to go back.she has pretty much thrown me out

(she has paid for a nearby motel room for 2 weeks) I have my ss number and looked for work unfortunately most companies will not hire around here unless you have an actual green card. I did try to explain that the stamp and visa in my passport is a temporary green card valid for a year but then they just mutter something back about company policy.of course that is small fry compaired to what is about to happen.once again thank you all for your kindness and for my answer

[Ridcully41 1]

I assume youv entered with IR1,that being said you have the permanent Green card then you are good. You dont have to leave the USA, but you can have some problems when applying for naturalization if you dont have commingling finances to prove a bonafide marriage. Did your wife live with you in your home Country before?

yes she lived in the UK with me 18 months before we married then for 7.5 years after. before she moved back here to look after her sick dad