How genuine are the cases and claims?

[Comic 66]

The bottom line of the story is that scammers will always exist. I think there are more scammers than genuine ppl. I just hope that the scammers be careful cause nobody likes to be hurt and taken granted for, once you push a sincere person to the limit, only God knows what's going through their mind in that point. I just don't want to see nobody get hurt and injured.

[Snag 57]

If you read only the saucy, eventful posts on here, which usually have to do with betrayal, heartache, divorce, then you're going to be met with a lot of paranoia, discouragement, and disgust for those scammers and committees of marriage fraud (I just read 26 pages of versadguy's post). Yet, one head turn to the right, and there's a sweeter side, particularly on these forums - people who genuinely love each other, respect one another, and want to give/are giving marriage a shot. Raising the bar would be a disservice to those who do have genuine relationships, who do already feel the weight of scammers and fraud.

There are more scammers than genuine people? Hm. I'm not sure if there's any way to prove this with solidity. I would beg to contest that statement. I know most Aussies don't come here looking to strike it rich in America. We've got a decently stable nation to do that in. How many Australians come to the US compared to Filipinos, Russians, or Vietnamese (higher fraud nations)? No clue. I'll only speak for my nation.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

As always with these types of threads there's a lot of judging going on. For "scammers" (I hate that word) who vanish as soon as they get the GC then there should be some way of getting them home. But if someone cuts off ties to their home country to settle in the US why judge them for not going home if it was a genuine relationship that just didn't work out? People give up lots in their home countries to move to the US, why should they have to move back to their home country and start all over again? It seems like that'd punish the beneficiary while the petitioner can carry on with life as usual.

[AmyWrites 593]

I think there's a whole lot of scammers. I know a few COs and they've all confirmed it crushes their faith in humanity to have witnessed first hand the scams people pull on each other, but they'll approve cases because they don't have concrete evidence to deny or they're CR1's or whatever....

But another big problem is this; lots of people post here after a divorce, saying their foreign spouse/fiance scammed them. It's often obvious that what happened was a normal, every day breakup of some type (cheating or lying or hey you just don't like living with that person). Moving to another country and facing cultural shock will challenge even the best relationships. It's not a scam.

[mindah 4]

Of course there are people who are not in legit relationships. Hard for me to judge ; I am from Canada, I have never experienced war, natural disasters, extreme poverty, I have a good job, free healthcare, a pretty good quality of life (except for the horrid winters...).

It makes me more sad than angry; sad to see that some people see it as their only resort, to sell yourself short, to be with someone only for the "papers", to not experience true, unconditional love.

There are "scammers", of course but there are so many genuine people, truly in love. And sometimes, things just don't work out, whether you're from the same country or not.

I love my fiance to the moon and back, we have been dating 3 years and we are ready to finally be together - in the same country.

[Sekhvaruli 74]

I just don't understand why the government would let people in when they clearly don't know the person they are 'in love' with and able to commit their life too.

Because it's not the government's job to judge or to measure the people's feelings. It doesn't matter, whether a beneficiary is genuinely in love or is just seeking for a better life, in case she/he is seeking that better life with that particular partner, not with someone else or not without him/her. What matters is - if the beneficiary is going to marry the petitioner and to create a real family with him/her, regardless of what are her/his motives are.

Bona fide relationships only mean that the beneficiary is really intending to be a wife/husband, is going to share the household and create a real family. People do marry not necessarily for love, but for some benefits marriage gives to them, even when they are not immigrants.

[Sekhvaruli 74]

Just adding to what you said about love, love does take time to grow. One time of bonding isn't enough to just fall in love, that's falling in lust.

Again, it's not the government's job to figure our whether people have fallen in love or in lust.

The relationship must be real. Period. Regardles of what the people's motives are - great sex,

spiritual connection, sharing financial goals or desire to have fun together.

[Tosh Love 77]

Not to argue any particular point but to add that VJ members who have completed their journey do not typically come on here to talk about their successful and wonderful marriage, etc. So we are likely to see the "problem" cases regarding fraudulent marriages, scams and so forth. This will make it seem that there are more people who are scammers than genuine people so please do not be discouraged.

[Sekhvaruli 74]

I personally don't judge anybody. I believe, everyone has the right to be happy THEY view it. So does the USCIS.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You would be surprised, if you looked deeper how many people who cry 'I have been scammed' have actually been pure hell for their

beneficiary spouse. These stories come out when people who are 'in the know' about the relationship talk behind the VJ forums, in real life.
People form networks outside of VJ, hang out together, observe other couples and then you hear stories that make your toes curl !

It is shocking how often these USC treat their foreign spouses like slaves, are controlling and just plain stupid and mean.
But if you are 'not in the know' then you miss all that real life drama and just read their scam alert mess because they have to blame

someone for their self destructive behavior and they can't face the music themselves.....that would be way too hard and would require change.
Ha !
I heard enough of this to last me.

Having said that, of course there are fraudsters. It is not up to us to 'deport' them or make their lives a living hell either.
If someone has been scammed, face accountability for CHOOSING a man/woman and being blinded even though there were

always red flags. TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY AND RESPONSIBILITY for your own choices in selecting a spouse. No one forced you.
No one can judge a relationship with age gaps but the person involved in it.
Either they want to see the truth and chose to overlook flags or they believe they are in a genuine relationship and actually are very happy.
I absolutely hate generalizations and stereotypes of age gaps, fat, thin, pink, blue and say leave people alone with their choices.
Get a life and focus on the sunny side of life is my motto. Get busy with your own relationships and stop the laser focus on scammers.
You draw into your life what you focus on 24/7. Be happy and choose wisely If it doesn't work out, scam or no scam, leave
and move on. End of story. Be more careful the next time or stick to local USC people you can meet at Starbucks...careful though, they
scam you too to get in your pants or wallet and you can't send them back like a return package to anywhere !!!

Peace and perspective.

[rhein 451]

If you read only the saucy, eventful posts on here, which usually have to do with betrayal, heartache, divorce, then you're going to be met with a lot of paranoia, discouragement, and disgust for those scammers and committees of marriage fraud (I just read 26 pages of versadguy's post). Yet, one head turn to the right, and there's a sweeter side, particularly on these forums - people who genuinely love each other, respect one another, and want to give/are giving marriage a shot. Raising the bar would be a disservice to those who do have genuine relationships, who do already feel the weight of scammers and fraud.

There are more scammers than genuine people? Hm. I'm not sure if there's any way to prove this with solidity. I would beg to contest that statement. I know most Aussies don't come here looking to strike it rich in America. We've got a decently stable nation to do that in. How many Australians come to the US compared to Filipinos, Russians, or Vietnamese (higher fraud nations)? No clue. I'll only speak for my nation.

Speaking of the Philippines, despite certain obsessive VJ members' assertions to the contrary, it is our experience among the many Filipinos who marry Americans that there are very few, percentage-wise, who are scammers. I've heard of instances, of course, but far more often I hear of American men keeping their newly-arrived wives completely isolated, virtual prisoners in the house.

Note: in the above paragraph I am referring to people I actually know, at least slightly, not stories I've read on the net.

[loladolly 51]

It needs to be noted that love is not a prerequisite for marriage.

huh are you being serious right now???

[SBB 74]

You would be surprised, if you looked deeper how many people who cry 'I have been scammed' have actually been pure hell for their

beneficiary spouse. These stories come out when people who are 'in the know' about the relationship talk behind the VJ forums, in real life.

People form networks outside of VJ, hang out together, observe other couples and then you hear stories that make your toes curl !

My favorite was the guy who complained that his 30-40 year younger than him former bargirl wife (the third time he'd gone through this) ran out on him shortly after he came to the US, followed a few weeks later later by a woman from the same nation complaining that her older American spouse was making her have sex on camera with other men and she wanted help with VAWA.

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

huh are you being serious right now???

Love isn't a prerequisite. Arranged marriages are totally a thing.

[Wendy71 26]

Of course there are people who are not in legit relationships. Hard for me to judge ; I am from Canada, I have never experienced war, natural disasters, extreme poverty, I have a good job, free healthcare, a pretty good quality of life (except for the horrid winters...).

It makes me more sad than angry; sad to see that some people see it as their only resort, to sell yourself short, to be with someone only for the "papers", to not experience true, unconditional love.

There are "scammers", of course but there are so many genuine people, truly in love. And sometimes, things just don't work out, whether you're from the same country or not.

I love my fiance to the moon and back, we have been dating 3 years and we are ready to finally be together - in the same country.

Well said Mindah. I too love my fiancé to the moon and back, i truly know now what the meaning of soul mate and true love is its a wonderful feeling