Form I-751 Same sex marriage PLEASE help

[step1 1]

Hello Readers

Thank you all for reading this, yet another, I need help thread. and please pardon me if theres something you can't understand, I am a horrible writer.

I wish all you could feel how I feel inside. I'm beyond drained and exhausted, and can't believe I have to leave the person I used to love the most.

I'm in a same sex marriage. Two males.

We met in april 2012 in NYC and started dating since the day we met. It was the most wonderful relationship, I even remember thinking and praying to god, thanking him for sending him into my life.

In january of 2013 he moved to Hawaii and it was definitely the saddest day of my life, even though there's been deaths in my family, the pain I felt was just as intense. Distance couldn't keep us apart , we saw each other 3 times that year before we decided to get married in Sept of 2013, and a few weeks later, I moved to hawaii to be with him.

We hired a lawyer and sent Adjustment of status application in december

in that same month he tells me he had had unprotected sex with some guy he met online, multiple times. I felt like I was dying. He promised he wouldn't do it again but he's done it countless times since then.

I am not as sexual as he is, and on top of that, I have had stomach issues my whole life that wouldn't make me feel sexual at all ,at times, I uses enough times for him to get frustrated and seek sex outside our relationship, so I understood that I would not satisfy him, and at his request, decided to be in an open relationship.

Being in an open relationship is something that I hate, but my husband would divorce me if I didn't want to be open. sometimes you have to put up with things for love, but theres a limit which has been crossed.

He is having unprotected sex with countless people, and says he will not stop, because he likes his freedom.

he has been controlling like you would not imagine. I feel like a 2 year old having to do thing I don't want to do.

He's had issues his whole life, addiction (now sober for many years), etc, enough for me to now understand that his "probably" sex addiction is linked to his other addictions. I should add that people in NY warned about his sex life in the past before he met me. He had quite a reputation, which I chose not to believe.

I went to art school in NY and interned and work a lot in the art world, and here in hawaii has been incredibly difficult finding a job because most businesses are asian oriented and targeted, they even want me to speak at least one of these languages, mandarin, chinese or japanese. So i've been unemployed since october and have been having to ask for some money from my family. I feel like sh*t

He is using my not working as an excuse to release stress outside our marriage because I am home a lot and its "driving him crazy". but really? I feel like his maid, personal assistant everyday, he even wants me to iron his shirts, and cook for him twice a day. and on top of that dessert.

He actually is bipolar. Somedays incredibly nice and loving and the next cold. but either way, loving or not. he still looks for sex outside our marriage every single day he doesn't work.

He's even told me that he's not attracted to me anymore, and when i initiate sex he just rejects me and goes online finding ppl to have sex with and even go on adventures together, with regular "buddies" and new ones too.

I deserve to be in a happy relationship with good sex life and not be completely rejected by the person that used to love me.

ISN'T HE EXPOSING ME TO HIV? THAT COULD LEAD TO MY DEATH?

all of this, i love you today, you are driving me crazy the next day.

Isn't this abuse?

I feel beyond neglected and unwanted and actually have been going to therapy, and couples therapy.

Now things are getting out of control, and I kid you not, he's on his way to an orgy right now.

timeline

MARRIED SEPT 2013

APPLIED DEC 2013

APPROVED APRIL 2014

is this situation bad enough for me to leave him NOW and apply for removal of conditions based on abuse?

Have I been married for too little time to apply for removal on my own and succeed? I can't get rejected, I don't have a life in south america, which is where I'm from. they don't like homosexuals there.

does being in an open relationship mean i deserve what i got? would i still get to apply for a waiver based on abuse?

this is the short version of whats really happening.

PLEASE HELP ME

Can I leave him now and do you think I'll be fine if I apply for that waiver on my own? I literally just received my GC

What do you guys advice?

Thank you!!!!!!

-step1

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I don't think you have a case for abuse, but you could file ROC if you can prove you didn't enter the marriage only for immigration benefits. There is a divorce waiver.

[glazierguy 20]

way to much info, get to the point if you want advice, im sorry your not happy, but keep to the point if you want real help. we dont need to hear about anybodys sex life.

[step1 1]

Hi glazierguy

Well..... our sex life IS the problem because my husband can give me HIV because he is sleeping around.

On top of that he is bipolar, and has neglected me completely.

I have been seeing a therapist because of this.

I have been married since sept 2013 and received 2 year green card less than a month ago.

is it too early to leave him?

would I get denied when I have to apply for removal of conditions?

way to much info, get to the point if you want advice, im sorry your not happy, but keep to the point if you want real help. we dont need to hear about anybodys sex life.

[Boiler 43,427]

way to much info, get to the point if you want advice, im sorry your not happy, but keep to the point if you want real help. we dont need to hear about anybodys sex life.

Speak for yourself.

Uruguay, Argentina and of course Brazil allow same sex marriage.

[KayDeeCee 4,891]

~ Moved from Removing Conditions to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits - topic seems to fit best there ~

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hi glazierguy

Well..... our sex life IS the problem because my husband can give me HIV because he is sleeping around.

On top of that he is bipolar, and has neglected me completely.

I have been seeing a therapist because of this.

I have been married since sept 2013 and received 2 year green card less than a month ago.

is it too early to leave him?

would I get denied when I have to apply for removal of conditions?

Cheating on you is not abuse.

Straight people who cheat can give their partners HIV too.

Divorce and file to ROC on your own.

Don't perpetuate the myth that when gay men have sex, they are exposing themselves to HIV.

[Sandra G. 5,016]

Considering what you posted, there is no abuse! You are in an unhealthy relationship , and being treated with disrespect.What to do about it? File for divorce,once finalized file form I-751 waiver. Seek some counseling to help you to develop self respect/ self esteem, and move on. Good luck.

Edited May 6, 2014 by sandranj

[JohnR! 5,495]

Get out. Get a divorce. Worry about GC.

In that order.

good luck!

[cdneh 3,112]

Don't perpetuate the myth that when gay men have sex, they are exposing themselves to HIV.

They don't of course, if is protected. You do realize we are talking about a promiscous man who refuses to practise safe sex, or stop sleeping around? You are out of line on this.

To the OP, you've got the right advice. Divorce him, and file for ROC on your own. I wish you all the best, and please get tested ok?

[step1 1]

BUT would I be okay if I left this early? please keep in mind that I just received my 2 year Green card.

I have already been seeing a therapist. We even went to couples counseling twice.

thank you!

[step1 1]

dear Cdneh

What you said is precisely my point. thank you for understanding.

I am not here to perpetuate myths, but only to share my honest story and get advice from people who know what they are talking bout.

I just hope that they believe me that i enteres this marriage in good faith. the truth should save me hopefully. I should fly back to NY and seek legal help ASAP.

Does anybody know what my chances are of getting denied?

Thank you again!!

They don't of course, if is protected. You do realize we are talking about a promiscous man who refuses to practise safe sex, or stop sleeping around? You are out of line on this.

To the OP, you've got the right advice. Divorce him, and file for ROC on your own. I wish you all the best, and please get tested ok?

Edited May 6, 2014 by step1

[Sukie 1,439]

dear Cdneh

What you said is precisely my point. thank you for understanding.

I am not here to perpetuate myths, but only to share my honest story and get advice from people who know what they are talking bout.

I just hope that they believe me that i enteres this marriage in good faith. the truth should save me hopefully. I should fly back to NY and seek legal help ASAP.

Does anybody know what my chances are of getting denied?

Thank you again!!

Step1, no one can really tell you what your odds of denial are. Getting a divorce so soon after getting a green card doesn't put you in the best of positions, but it is not the end of the world. You have strong grounds for divorce.

Lots of straight couples don't even last the two years.

Get out. Get your head and your heart healthy. And go forward knowing that you had the right intentions, and it just didn't work out. I hope your spouse makes it easy for you to leave.

Sukie

[cdneh 3,112]

dear Cdneh

What you said is precisely my point. thank you for understanding.

I am not here to perpetuate myths, but only to share my honest story and get advice from people who know what they are talking bout.

I just hope that they believe me that i enteres this marriage in good faith. the truth should save me hopefully. I should fly back to NY and seek legal help ASAP.

Does anybody know what my chances are of getting denied?

Thank you again!!

Thanks for that. I do understand. My son has a husband

When you start lining up your ducks, you will want to be able to prove you entered the marriage in good faith. Make sure you have records of your bonafides when you go. Any records, the counselling and all that is good, joint car insurance, joint bank account statements, joint tax returns, pictures, utility bills, divorce decree... things that show you were a married couple.

You need to take care of yourself possom. You deserve a great deal better

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Hello Readers

Thank you all for reading this, yet another, I need help thread. and please pardon me if theres something you can't understand, I am a horrible writer.

I wish all you could feel how I feel inside. I'm beyond drained and exhausted, and can't believe I have to leave the person I used to love the most.

I'm in a same sex marriage. Two males.

We met in april 2012 in NYC and started dating since the day we met. It was the most wonderful relationship, I even remember thinking and praying to god, thanking him for sending him into my life.

In january of 2013 he moved to Hawaii and it was definitely the saddest day of my life, even though there's been deaths in my family, the pain I felt was just as intense. Distance couldn't keep us apart , we saw each other 3 times that year before we decided to get married in Sept of 2013, and a few weeks later, I moved to hawaii to be with him.

We hired a lawyer and sent Adjustment of status application in december

in that same month he tells me he had had unprotected sex with some guy he met online, multiple times. I felt like I was dying. He promised he wouldn't do it again but he's done it countless times since then.

I am not as sexual as he is, and on top of that, I have had stomach issues my whole life that wouldn't make me feel sexual at all ,at times, I uses enough times for him to get frustrated and seek sex outside our relationship, so I understood that I would not satisfy him, and at his request, decided to be in an open relationship.

Being in an open relationship is something that I hate, but my husband would divorce me if I didn't want to be open. sometimes you have to put up with things for love, but theres a limit which has been crossed.

He is having unprotected sex with countless people, and says he will not stop, because he likes his freedom.

he has been controlling like you would not imagine. I feel like a 2 year old having to do thing I don't want to do.

He's had issues his whole life, addiction (now sober for many years), etc, enough for me to now understand that his "probably" sex addiction is linked to his other addictions. I should add that people in NY warned about his sex life in the past before he met me. He had quite a reputation, which I chose not to believe.

I went to art school in NY and interned and work a lot in the art world, and here in hawaii has been incredibly difficult finding a job because most businesses are asian oriented and targeted, they even want me to speak at least one of these languages, mandarin, chinese or japanese. So i've been unemployed since october and have been having to ask for some money from my family. I feel like sh*t

He is using my not working as an excuse to release stress outside our marriage because I am home a lot and its "driving him crazy". but really? I feel like his maid, personal assistant everyday, he even wants me to iron his shirts, and cook for him twice a day. and on top of that dessert.

He actually is bipolar. Somedays incredibly nice and loving and the next cold. but either way, loving or not. he still looks for sex outside our marriage every single day he doesn't work.

He's even told me that he's not attracted to me anymore, and when i initiate sex he just rejects me and goes online finding ppl to have sex with and even go on adventures together, with regular "buddies" and new ones too.

I deserve to be in a happy relationship with good sex life and not be completely rejected by the person that used to love me.

ISN'T HE EXPOSING ME TO HIV? THAT COULD LEAD TO MY DEATH?

all of this, i love you today, you are driving me crazy the next day.

Isn't this abuse?

I feel beyond neglected and unwanted and actually have been going to therapy, and couples therapy.

Now things are getting out of control, and I kid you not, he's on his way to an orgy right now.

timeline

MARRIED SEPT 2013

APPLIED DEC 2013

APPROVED APRIL 2014

is this situation bad enough for me to leave him NOW and apply for removal of conditions based on abuse?

Have I been married for too little time to apply for removal on my own and succeed? I can't get rejected, I don't have a life in south america, which is where I'm from. they don't like homosexuals there.

does being in an open relationship mean i deserve what i got? would i still get to apply for a waiver based on abuse?

this is the short version of whats really happening.

PLEASE HELP ME

Can I leave him now and do you think I'll be fine if I apply for that waiver on my own? I literally just received my GC

What do you guys advice?

Thank you!!!!!!

-step1

No abuse here. No VAWA.