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Kirk2012

She stabbed me in the back, any advice how to proceed

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Kosova
Timeline

Hello,

I came to US through a fiance visa. After a year she apparently changed her mind and started to treat me very badly. The issue escalated and we were separated about 6 months ago, although we are still legally married. In the next few months I need to apply for the unconditional green card and I tried to convince her not to cause any problems, however, she is determined to cause me as much damage as she possible can. She told me that she will send me back home, but I'm convinced that the law cant be in favor of the citizen, at least not to that degree. I know i have to sit down with an immigration attorney but I wanted to have some prior knowledge before I do so. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what should I do in this case. I've been living in US for almost 2 years now, since I went through a whole lot to adapt to the environment and the culture, I've decided to stay, and quite frankly i love it here.

I would appreciate any advice you can give me.

Thanks,

Kirk

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Colombia
Timeline

i am sorry to hear this:(. i hope things get better...i personally dont know what to suggest to you but i will keep you in my prayers. sorry again


AOS JOURNEY

02/24/2012---MAILED I-485,I-130,I-765, TO CHICAGO LOCKBOX
03/05/2012---CHECKS CASHED BY USCIS
03/08/2012---I-765 WAS TOUCHED
03/17/2012--RECIEVED RECIEPT NOTICE FOR I-485,I-130,I-765
03/23/2012---RECIEVED BIOMET
RICS APPOINTMENT
04/05/2012--I-485 RFE MAILED
04/07/2012--I-485 RFE RECIEVED
04/10/2012---RFE REPLY WAS SENT TO USCIS FOR I-485
04/10/2012---WENT TO BIOMETRICS APPOINTMENT IN ELIZABETH NJ(NOW THE NEWARK OFFICE)

04/18/2012---RFE RECIEVD BY USCIS
05/21/2012--- EAD APPROVED CARD PRODUCTION EMAIL RECEIVED
05/24/2012--- SECOND EAD PRODUCTION EMAIL
06/26/2012-- AOS INTERVIEW!!!!!!!!!
06/28/2012----APPROVED/CARD PRODUCTION EMAIL
07/07/2012-----10 YEAR GREEN CARD ARRIVES

N-400 NATURALIZTION

03/21/2016--- MAILED/FILED N-400

03/24/2016 ---- PACKAGED DELIVERED

03/28/2016---- NOA RECIEPT NOTICE RECIEVED

04/08/2016--- BIOMETRIC SCHEDULED

04/22/2016-- BIOMETRIC DONE

06/20/2016--- INTERVIEW SCHEDULES

07/29/2016--- INTERVIEW/OATH

07/30/2016--- REGISTERED TO VOTE/PASSPORT

event.png

xweHm7.png
REPLACEMENT I-94 JOURNEY
01/20/2012--I-102 MAILED
01/27/2012--USCIS RECIEVED PETITION
02/02/2012--RECIEPT NOTICED RECIEVED
03/05/2012--RFE MAILED
03/10/2012--RFE RECIEVDD
04/05/2012---RFE REPLIED TO
04/17/2012--USCIS RECIVED IT AND IS UNDER REVIEW
07/11/2012-- STILL IS UNDER REVIEW HAHA

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Egypt
Timeline

Do not file to ROC yet

Get a divorce first then ROC immediately afterwards

She will not stop your ROC unless you have crimes in america or she filed abuse charges against you

Make sure you have all your proofs together

family pics

bills in both your names

copy of her drivers license and yours with same addresses

tax returns for 2 years

medical bills

health insurance

and more


May 24, 2011 NOA1

Sept 11, 2011 NOA2-took 19 days to get case number

Sept 30, 2011 NVC number and IIN received Friday-gotta wait till Monday

Oct 13, 2011 Case Completed- 13 days from receiving case number Took 32 days from NOA2

Nov 30, 2011 Notified of Interview date

January 19, 2012 Interview- 240 days from NOA1

INTERVIEW RESULTS-APPROVED WITH 14 WEEKS AP--but he got his visa in 56 days!!!!!!

PLEASE EDIT YOUR TIMELINE IN YOUR PROFILE SO OTHERS CAN LEARN HOW LONG EACH STEP TAKES IN THIS PROCESS

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Kosova
Timeline

Do not file to ROC yet

Get a divorce first then ROC immediately afterwards

She will not stop your ROC unless you have crimes in america or she filed abuse charges against you

Make sure you have all your proofs together

family pics

bills in both your names

copy of her drivers license and yours with same addresses

tax returns for 2 years

medical bills

health insurance

and more

Thank you for the information. According to what you have told me, i may not even need an immigration attorney after all, or maybe just a for a short consultaion. Thanks again.

Kirk

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Filed: Other Country: Brazil
Timeline

You have tw0 options:

File the I-751 Petition as “married”,and of course living together, or file the I-751 Petition as “divorced.” Once you are not living together the best option is to file for divorce right now. There is a memo from UCIS that states that if the divorce is not finalized,the immigrant can file the I-751 and a RFE will be issued to give him about 90 more days to submit the divorce decree.

http://www.uscis.gov/USCIS/New%20Structure/Laws%20and%20Regulations/Memoranda/*2009%20Memos%20By%20Month/*Oct%202009/Adjudication%20of%20Form%20I-751100909.pdf

Edited by sandranj

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Nobody knows your situation better than you and your wife. Think back when you two were in love and she did her best to bring you over as soon as possible to be beside her FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Remember that if it wasn't for her choosing you as her husband you wouldn't be in the US. You love it here? I bet you do. Since you do then the least you can do is bite your lips, listen to her, swallow your pride and humble your self for the sake of saving your marriage. Sure you shouldn't have to take abuse from anyone but in marriage you will feel that way sometimes and that's normal. It takes a lifetime to learn everything about a spouse. Do you still love her? I would assume that you still do... If you already fell out of love in such a short time then you were never in love in the first place. If you love your spouse then let her know and do everything you can to save your marriage.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
she did her best to bring you over as soon as possible to be beside her FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
She brought him over so that they could marry within 90 days of his arrival.

The rest of the post (mercifully redacted) contains some of the worst advice that I've ever read on VJ. Agreed with Vanessa.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

She brought him over so that they could marry within 90 days of his arrival.

The rest of the post (mercifully redacted) contains some of the worst advice that I've ever read on VJ. Agreed with Vanessa.

Oh that's right... I almost forgot that US has the highest divorce rate in the world and it is socially acceptable to go the easy way out. So then what after the 90 days? You see... people want to say what is socially acceptable and not admit their true feelings. I mean... they didn't think about the hard times they would have and promise to hold on no matter what? Isn't that still what is all about?

Edited by Jacob and Ngan

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Excuse me? He owes her NOTHING for "bringing him here". Just like she wouldn't owe him if the situation were reversed. Just because HE moved here (she helped but HE did the moving) doesn't mean he needs to put up with abuse or "humble himself".

I have been married 2+ years and have NEVER felt like I was taking abuse and it is NOT normal to feel that you are. That is a completely ridiculous comment. If you feel degraded or abused in the relationship there is something seriously wrong.

Did you read carefully? I clearly said that he shouldn't take abuse.... however sometimes it feels that way.... and yes is normal. What I meant by that is that sometimes people say stuff and do stuff when they are angry and mistreat their spouse. Does that mean that they should separate and divorce? I personally don't think so but they should get professional help asap. Everyone get's mistreated and abuse from time to time in life by their teachers, at work, our own family, friends or some low life in the street. Unfortunately that is part of life. Everyone puts up with ####### from others.... then why not put up with a wife's ####### for a little while and try slowly work things out by communicating and seeking help? Sure is easier to say good bye but that is lame and for cowards. True love is resilient.

As for him owing her... yes he does. I would become the slave of any woman that takes me as her husband to bring me to the US and I would NEVER leave her. I would worship her and make her happy until the day I die. I have travel enough to see how fortunate we Americans are.

Edited by Jacob and Ngan

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Filed: Country: Vietnam (no flag)
Timeline

Oh that's right... I almost forgot that US has the highest divorce rate in the world and it is socially acceptable to go the easy way out. So then what after the 90 days? You see... people want to say what is socially acceptable and not admit their true feelings. I mean... they didn't think about the hard times they would have and promise to hold on no matter what? Isn't that still what is all about?

Disparaging the US divorce rate is irrelevant to how a person should threat his/her spouse.

I agree that being patience and appreciative of your partner are great in maintaining a healthy relationship.

However, being "humble" and being grateful to the US citizen for bringing the foreign spouse to the US is bull caca. Those are choices made by the couple. It wasn't the generosity of the US citizen. Both partners benefited from living together.

The problem that I have with your response is that you implied that the foreign spouse should just be grateful to the US citizen for bringing her/him to the US. There is no need to say "You love it here? I bet you do." That's overly simplistic and implies that all foreign brides/grooms are solely looking for green cards. If you feel this is what the foreign spouse is looking for, then yes the person should be grateful to the US citizen for bringing him/her to the US. For those who did it for love and feel that the US is the best choices between their two countries, then why should one be grateful to the other? Shouldn't they be grateful just to have the company and love of the other?

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Disparaging the US divorce rate is irrelevant to how a person should threat his/her spouse.

I agree that being patience and appreciative of your partner are great in maintaining a healthy relationship.

However, being "humble" and being grateful to the US citizen for bringing the foreign spouse to the US is bull caca. Those are choices made by the couple. It wasn't the generosity of the US citizen. Both partners benefited from living together.

The problem that I have with your response is that you implied that the foreign spouse should just be grateful to the US citizen for bringing her/him to the US. There is no need to say "You love it here? I bet you do." That's overly simplistic and implies that all foreign brides/grooms are solely looking for green cards. If you feel this is what the foreign spouse is looking for, then yes the person should be grateful to the US citizen for bringing him/her to the US. For those who did it for love and feel that the US is the best choices between their two countries, then why should one be grateful to the other? Shouldn't they be grateful just to have the company and love of the other?

Last time I checked the meaning of the word "humble" was to not be arrogant or prideful. Maybe I should have used a better word like "compromise". Most people repeat what others say because is politically correct or socially acceptable to say. I don't.

Yes I wrote "You love it here? I bet you do." So what? Who doesn't? The US is not perfect but is the best country to live in the world by far. So by that you determined that I am implying that ALL brides/grooms solely come for the green card? If I think that way then what am I doing in VJ?

Waiting for a K-1 visa sucks but the experience can also make a relationship stronger. With that said... After only one year and a half plus all that K-1 proce$$ing and waiting and now his wife all the sudden hates his guts? All that effort just to victimize him FOR NO REASON? :no:

Edited by Jacob and Ngan

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