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Kirk2012

She stabbed me in the back, any advice how to proceed

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
Oh that's right... I almost forgot that US has the highest divorce rate in the world and it is socially acceptable to go the easy way out. So then what after the 90 days? You see... people want to say what is socially acceptable and not admit their true feelings. I mean... they didn't think about the hard times they would have and promise to hold on no matter what? Isn't that still what is all about?
Overall divorce rates are irrelevant vis-a-vis individual marriages.

If you read the OP's OP carefully instead of going off half-cocked, he said: "After a year she apparently changed her mind and started to treat me very badly. The issue escalated and we were separated about 6 months ago [...] she is determined to cause me as much damage as she possible can."

1. We're hearing only his side of the story. The "apparently changed her mind" is a tip-off.

2. They've been separated for 6 months. How will this play when (if) he applies for a green card?

3. If it's indeed bad enough treatment to cause a 6-month separation, where do you get off telling him to "hold on no matter what"?

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
now his wife all the sudden hates his guts?
Per the OP's OP, it could well have been building up for a year, which is hardly "all (of) a sudden."
victimize him FOR NO REASON?
It could be for extremely good reason. We're hearing only half the story (his). Your ability to jump at conclusions is truly puzzling.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
I would become the slave of any woman that takes me as her husband to bring me to the US
THIS sounds psychologically out of bounds (to put it diplomatically).
and I would NEVER leave her.
If she physically beat you every day, refused you marital relations, cheated on you, stole your money or ruined your credit, was cruel in comment and deed, got violently drunk day & night, and trashed your reputation to anyone within earshot, sure you'd never leave her.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Per the OP's OP, it could well have been building up for a year, which is hardly "all (of) a sudden."It could be for extremely good reason. We're hearing only half the story (his). Your ability to jump at conclusions is truly puzzling.

Explain to me what was my conclusion because I didn't made any. You are right... we are hearing one side... which means exactly what I said... who want to do all that K-1 proce$$ing and months of waiting just to victimize her husband after getting married?

That's not a conclusion.

Edited by Jacob and Ngan
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
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THIS sounds psychologically out of bounds (to put it diplomatically).If she physically beat you every day, refused you marital relations, cheated on you, stole your money or ruined your credit, was cruel in comment and deed, got violently drunk day & night, and trashed your reputation to anyone within earshot, sure you'd never leave her.

ha, ha, ha so extreme.

Never mind, you are obviously taking this stuff literally and out of context. My choice of words seems to disctract from the point I was trying to make.

Everyone has a level of judgement towards others but they usually hide it and pretend to be fair and just in front of others. I personally think that he should return to his country if they divorce... I mean after all... Didn't he leave his country behind only for the soul purpose to live the rest of his life with his WIFE?

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Iran
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Blah blah blah, god people who constantly talk about people should think about how they were once in love make me lose all faith in humanity.

Key word being they were " once" in love.follow jim's advice OP, best you'll ever get

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

First, I would say JimVaPhuong advice is most likely the best you will receive in the circumstances..

I am usually lurking, but when I saw the following, I had to say something....

Yes I wrote "You love it here? I bet you do." So what? Who doesn't? The US is not perfect but is the best country to live in the world by far.

If my husband was not in the picture, I would rather live in my home country (Canada) than in US. US might be the best country to live in for YOU, do not assume it's the same for everyone.

But, I made the choice of coming to US because it was the most logical way to be together at the time. I definitely don't owe anything to my husband for coming here. And I do not feel he owes me anything for coming here either.

Edited by Mestis

2006 to 2010 - Working on TN status
09/26/2009 - Wedding
02/16/2010 - Green Card in hand!
02/12/2012 - ROC Done, Green Card Received

09/15/2015 - Naturalization Ceremony

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Thailand
Timeline

First, I would say JimVaPhuong advice is most likely the best you will receive in the circumstances..

I am usually lurking, but when I saw the following, I had to say something....

If my husband was not in the picture, I would rather live in my home country (Canada) than in US. US might be the best country to live in for YOU, do not assume it's the same for everyone.

But, I made the choice of coming to US because it was the most logical way to be together at the time. I definitely don't owe anything to my husband for coming here. And I do not feel he owes me anything for coming here either.

Agreed. What's so great about the U.S? I'm American and if it was up to me, I'd be back in Thailand. The chance to make big $ doesn't automatically make some place "great"

I lived in Montreal for a couple of years back in the early 2000s. The mall was only open late on Thursday nights. I asked about this. I said "they're leaving money on the table" They said it's more important to be with our family. Couldn't argue with that.

Also, in the summer they let everyone off early since you freeze your a$$ off 9 months out of the year. Canada (specifically Quebec) is a pretty ideal place if you can deal with the winters.

Edited by Karee

You can click on the 'X' to the right to ignore this signature.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Thailand
Timeline

Please stop debating hypothetical situations and return to topic. Thank you.

Sorry. Had to take the opportunity to sing the praises of Canada, specifically Quebec.

You can click on the 'X' to the right to ignore this signature.

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