K1, Married, Seeking Divorce

[MannyLucero 1]

Hello Everyone,

My wife and I have been married little over a month now, and every day has felt like a struggle. While going through the K1 Visa, I flew to be with her, and we argued. She convinced me that this was due to the stress of being in a long distance relationship, and that things would be better once married. I am gullible, and naive, and even though I had many doubts before we married, I loved her enough to want to fix them. Things have not only changed, but gotten worse. I will admit, I argue just as much as she does, but while I see that we were just not meant to be, she refuses to let go. When angry, she has threaten to use the affidavit of support I signed with the petition packet to extract as much money as she can. My question is, can she use this for her benefit?

Also, we have not filed the AOS yet, and at this rate, I do not want to go into this any further. What are my options now?

Thank you.

Edited March 12, 2012 by MannyLucero

[Darnell 8,478]

the I-134 is not a legally binding document.

The I-864, OTOH, is.

I suggest you file for no-fault divorce and buy her a plane ticket back to her country.

[james&olya 1,121]

Sounds a lot like my prior marriage. I could not understand often why exactly we were arguing until I realized that she actually lived for the conflict!

Get out now! File for divorce and DO NOT consider doing the AOS and I-864! You have seen what she is capable of by her threats; fortunately, she can not yet do any of that to you at the stage you are still at in the process. And if you decide you still want to find a compatible spouse you might want to consider dating someone from Eastern Europe, specifically Russia, Ukraine, or Belarus! Yes, there are scams out there but ALL the women I met while dating were for real and saying it was a huge eye-opener is an under-statement!

[piglett 16]

rip up any AOS's in the house rite now & don't tell her, no point in getting stabbed with a kitchen knife over this....is there?

find her a place to stay with a "friend" so the 2 of you can have time to "work through this"

really it will give you time to get all of your ducks in a row.

like change the locks & maybe even move to another place till she leaves the country.

people have ended up dead for less man

use caution & lots of it

cover your back side

good luck

piglett

Edited March 12, 2012 by piglett

[Moomin 292]

Extract money from the affidavit? While there have been a few cases making it to court and the beneficiary actually got an amount based on the affidavit of support, it's really not her place to "extract money" from it through a divorce. It's up to the government. You've been married for less than a month, I doubt she has anything coming her way right now, other than returning to her home country. Be aware of VAWA though. IF you don't trust her and her next moves, buy her a plane ticket and that would be about it.

[kzielu 1,149]

Hello Everyone,

My wife and I have been married little over a month now, and every day has felt like a struggle. While going through the K1 Visa, I flew to be with her, and we argued. She convinced me that this was due to the stress of being in a long distance relationship, and that things would be better once married. I am gullible, and naive, and even though I had many doubts before we married, I loved her enough to want to fix them. Things have not only changed, but gotten worse. I will admit, I argue just as much as she does, but while I see that we were just not meant to be, she refuses to let go. When angry, she has threaten to use the affidavit of support I signed with the petition packet to extract as much money as she can. My question is, can she use this for her benefit?

Also, we have not filed the AOS yet, and at this rate, I do not want to go into this any further. What are my options now?

Thank you.

First - only government can extract money out of affidavit of support in the case beneficiary uses means tested benefit.

Second - if you did not file for AoS yet, then there is no affidavit of support yet. And your wife - until you file the Aos - will have no way of gaining permanent resident status. No way to adjust the status through someone else then you.

Send her home, you're in perfectly good position to do that.

[Boiler 45,663]

Certainly the divorce, the plane ticket is negotiable.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

like change the locks

As they are married he is not allowed to just "kick her out and change the locks". She has a right to live there so she has to leave of her own accord, thanks to a divorce stating such or sometimes eviction paperwork. Really depends on the state. This isn't just spouse either. If you let someone live with you there is a period after which they have right to abode and you cannot just "kick them out" (surprisingly short in some states)

[VanessaTony 3,567]

First - only government can extract money out of affidavit of support in the case beneficiary uses means tested benefit.

Second - if you did not file for AoS yet, then there is no affidavit of support yet. And your wife - until you file the Aos - will have no way of gaining permanent resident status. No way to adjust the status through someone else then you.

Not exactly true.

1. Not true. Some courts have ordered the support enforceable but this is rare and doesn't apply in the OP's case because the I-134 isn't legally binding and he hasn't submitted the AOS with the I-864 (which IS legally binding once the GC is approved). So this is good news for him.

2. Not true. She could try for filing for VAWA. Unlikely given the short period of the marriage but she might try. But true she cannot adjust to anyone except him (or thanks to VAWA)

[VanessaTony 3,567]

My wife and I have been married little over a month now, and every day has felt like a struggle. While going through the K1 Visa, I flew to be with her, and we argued. She convinced me that this was due to the stress of being in a long distance relationship, and that things would be better once married. I am gullible, and naive, and even though I had many doubts before we married, I loved her enough to want to fix them. Things have not only changed, but gotten worse. I will admit, I argue just as much as she does, but while I see that we were just not meant to be, she refuses to let go. When angry, she has threaten to use the affidavit of support I signed with the petition packet to extract as much money as she can. My question is, can she use this for her benefit?

Also, we have not filed the AOS yet, and at this rate, I do not want to go into this any further. What are my options now?

I assume based on your post the only "options" your asking for is in regards to ending your relationship and making sure your not on the hook for immigration so that is what I'm going to base my reply on.

Firstly, the I-134 that you filed for the petition isn't legally binding... it's basically just a useless piece of paper with your signature on it. So she's SOL with that.

You are under NO obligation to buy her a ticket home, to adjust her status or stay married to her. You cannot just "kick her out" because as your wife she has legal rights.

My suggestion is that you speak to a lawyer ASAP who will explain the divorce process and how to go about getting her out of your house. I suggest you hide any of YOUR personal documents so she can't mess with anything. I suggest you take her name of any bank accounts (if permitted, some won't let you) and if you can't change where your pay goes (if she has access to that account) so she doesn't bleed you dry.

Mostly you need to protect yourself from a VAWA claim which means either moving out of your house asap, or having her stay with a friend.. though this is less likely. You could suggest that this time apart will help the relationship or something... She may just destroy the house to mess with you.

Protect yourself, your family, your money and your assets. Some people are CRAZY!

[RJQuilla 6]

If you encounter problems with a girl that you have met oversee then move on to the next one. There is no reason to be trying to make it work when you can easily find someone else to enjoy your company. First girl I met I was trying to change her and working with her before I let go. If you girls is under 25 then that is a big part of the problem. Young pretty girls are gonna be problematic no matter where you find them. I would not even consider a lady unless she is late 20s or early 30s. You have to give them time to get done wrong and go around the block a few times then they will know what a good guy is.

[stefan y karen 23]

If you encounter problems with a girl that you have met oversee then move on to the next one. There is no reason to be trying to make it work when you can easily find someone else to enjoy your company. First girl I met I was trying to change her and working with her before I let go. If you girls is under 25 then that is a big part of the problem. Young pretty girls are gonna be problematic no matter where you find them. I would not even consider a lady unless she is late 20s or early 30s. You have to give them time to get done wrong and go around the block a few times then they will know what a good guy is.

A bit pragmatic and cynical, but I agree with logic.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Yes, the most practical advice to give a man who is currently going through this sort of trauma is to immediately start looking for a replacement. Take it from someone who just got off of the dating market not even a year ago -- men who are raw from a very recent marital breakdown are not much fun to date, let alone form a relationship with. Take some time for yourself to heal from this sorrow.

OP -- sorry for the derail there. Vanessa's got some good advice . If you feel divorce is appropriate, seek appropriate legal advice. You are not on the hook under the I-134. Best of luck to you.

[john&lindsey 0]

I keep seeing people say that the I-134 form isn't legally binding….. does anyone have information to prove that? Sorry to change subject but trying to figure out how its not legally binding… thanks

[Enigma11561 336]

Sounds a lot like my prior marriage. I could not understand often why exactly we were arguing until I realized that she actually lived for the conflict!

Get out now! File for divorce and DO NOT consider doing the AOS and I-864! You have seen what she is capable of by her threats; fortunately, she can not yet do any of that to you at the stage you are still at in the process. And if you decide you still want to find a compatible spouse you might want to consider dating someone from Eastern Europe, specifically Russia, Ukraine, or Belarus! Yes, there are scams out there but ALL the women I met while dating were for real and saying it was a huge eye-opener is an under-statement!