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Simon and Janet

Dissolving love and a missed green card

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Australia
Timeline

So he was here and did nothing but hang online and watch sports TV, I spent all my time and energy working to pay for things he wanted and needed, and now he's gone back home. He told me it was to find work there (because he couldn't find work here), but ended up dissolving the relationship and now he's flirting with one of his fb pals (forgetting he's still married, I guess?)

I am utterly heartbroken. I didn't get married to get a divorce. His lack of involvement in our marriage should have been warning signs to me, but ever-hopeful, I had thought he might change and prove my disbelieving family wrong.. or just prove my faith in him to be right.

Thanks to THIS lovely site, I discovered he had 2nd thoughts about our relationship. I guess when you spend all your time being idle and NOT working, the fake internet world becomes the one you choose to live in. All I wanted was for him to put some effort in. Now I have nothing left after all the effort I put out.

His green card arrived AFTER he left to go home. He's requesting I send it to him. Do I wait for money from him first to pay off the rest of the debts he had me incur on OUR behalf? I'm doing my best not to be emotional, but I don't like being abandoned after my best efforts have been put forth out of love.

(He was more upset over a possible ban from visiting his precious NYC than turning off the TV and attempting to work on things with his wife. See previous posts.)


TIMELINE:

December, 2008 - Started talking on plentyoffish.com

March 25, 2009 - Left Australia to to meet her

March 28, 2009 - Finally met in person!!

April 30, 2009 - Engaged

May 4, 2009 - Returned to Australia

June 26, 2009 - Filed I-129F

July 6, 2009 - NOA1 Received

July 25 - August 12, 2009 - Janet visited Simon is Australia for 2 and a half magical weeks. Met the family and is loved by all of them! :)

September 18, 2009 - NOA2!!!!!

September 28, 2009 - NVC Received

October 1, 2009 - NVC Sent

October 7, 2009 - Consulate Received

October 14, 2009 - Medical

October 17, 2009 - December 8 - Simon visiting Janet in the U.S

December 11, 2009 - Packet 3 sent

December 18, 2009 - Packet 4 received

January 12, 2010 - Interview date

January 14 2010 - Visa Received

January 23 2010 - US Entry

February 7 2010 - Marriage

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

I believe it is actually illegal to mail a green card outside the US. If he left before the green card arrived and without AP he technically abandoned his status. If you send it and he returns remeber your affidavit of support is still in effect. If his toughts aren't about your better good yours need to be. If he wants to come back he can go to the embassy and convince them he didn't abandon AOS.


This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.

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Personally, I'd mail the green card back to USCIS/DHS and say "not at this address" :blush:

I don't know you but wish I could send you a hug!

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Filed: Timeline

Again he is requesting something from you and not making an effort himself, I agree with above and would send the green card back to the USCIS and tell them on what date he left the country to go back.

I hope that you are able to pick up and go on with your life.

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Agreed...Send it back to USCIS. Absolutely let them know what date that he left the US.

So sorry you are going through this.

Hugs


Sent AOS pack......2011-08-08

NOA's dated ..........2011-08-15

Biometrics..............2011-09-13

EAD card.................2011-10-26

AP card....................2011-10-26

AOS approved .......2011-12-19

Green card rec.......2011-12-27

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Pakistan
Timeline

If his green card was approved and arrived after he left does this mean he abandoned his status? Just wondering....


10/02/2010 Nikah/Marriage in Karachi
USCIS JOURNEY
11/10/2010 -Sent
03/24/2011 i 130 approved!!!
NVC JOURNEY
03/30/2011 NVC received case-04/07/2011 NVC Case Number Assigned
05/03/2011 CASE COMPLETE- In Que for INTERVIEW!!-05/17/2011 Received interview letter and info via email
EMBASSY JOURNEY
05/20/2011 Medical Appt/passed
06/15/2011 Interview result AP
06/21/2011 Submitted requested docs..under review
07/25/2011 CO called did phone interview result: PENDING MANDATORY AP/CO told us they have to do namechecks

03/07/2013 Case returned to USCIS waiting for NOIR/reaffirmation

04/18/2013 USCIS received case for review

08/19/2013 Received NOIR to respond by 9/18/2013

9/9/2013 Responded to NOIR/USCIS received documents awaiting response

9/20/2013 USCIS reaffirmed sent to embassy

1/04/14 Case opened for review

8/31/15 Interview- no questions visa approved on the spot

9/8/15 visa status issued

9/10/15 visa received

9/19/15 POE Charlotte

p9WGm4.png

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Netherlands
Timeline

; Bye Love, Bye Greencard :whistle: If he wanted to go home, let him stay there...


holland-flag-44.gifunited-states-flag-88.gif

heart-119.gif August 28th, 2011: Wedding heart-119.giflove-182.gif

AOS
August 31th, 2011: applied for SS#
September 6th: received SS#
September 26th, 2011: AOS sent
September 30th, 2011: NOA1
October 6th, 2011: NOA1 hard copy
October 26th,2011: Biometrics
October 28th, 2011: case transferred to California for faster processing
December 5th, 2011: received EAD/AP card
February 22nd, 2012: Green card in production
February 27th, 2012: GREEN CARD in hand, yaaay!!!




November 10th, 2013: ROC

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Italy
Timeline

I'm so sorry to hear that!! I'm gonna have to agree with everyone! send it back to the USCIS! Seems like he is not into the relationship why would you provide such a benefit (the green card, working and living in the us) when he doesnt deserve it!

Dont get let down! he is not worth it! Try to see forward! I know its hard but better things will come and definitely dont spend a cent on him! Sadly, I dont think hell pay back the debt either! but you are wiser now!

Take care!! and best of luck!!

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Personally, I'd mail the green card back to USCIS/DHS and say "not at this address" :blush:

I like Joanna's thinking !! good.gifgood.gif

The old adage that you reap what you sow seems to apply here.

Divorce is no fun, but it is survivable.

Best of luck to you.


I-864 Affidavit of Support FAQ -->> https://travel.state.gov/content/visas/en/immigrate/immigrant-process/documents/support/i-864-frequently-asked-questions.html

FOREIGN INCOME REPORTING & TAX FILING -->> https://www.irs.gov/publications/p54/ch01.html#en_US_2015_publink100047318

CALL THIS NUMBER TO ORDER IRS TAX TRANSCRIPTS >> 800-908-9946

PLEASE READ THE GUIDES -->> Link to Visa Journey Guides

MULTI ENTRY SPOUSE VISA TO VN -->>Link to Visa Exemption for Vietnamese Residents Overseas & Their Spouses

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

If his green card was approved and arrived after he left does this mean he abandoned his status? Just wondering....

If he didn't have advance parole when he left then his application would have been abandoned. If USCIS finds out about it then they'll revoke his green card.


12/15/2009 - K1 Visa Interview - APPROVED!

12/29/2009 - Married in Oakland, CA!

08/18/2010 - AOS Interview - APPROVED!

05/01/2013 - Removal of Conditions - APPROVED!

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Iran
Timeline

My advice (more opinion) is you had the warning signs and ignored them, so don't let the same mistake happen again. It's very unlikely he will give a damn about the expenses, let alone to pay for them.

So, just advice the immigration / USCIS and let them know about the situation in a brief and concise way. I would NOT give him the green card! Why would you?

It's better to end something that didn't work out sooner than later. At least you'll get on with your life sooner and learn from this experience.

Although I know it's always easier said than done, but try not to think it's the end of the world and know that there's a reason for why things worked out this way. You won't know the reason right now, but sometime down the road you will look back and see things differently and may be even understand why it didn't work the way you hoped for.

There are no guaranties in any marriage, even when we think we have the perfect match in life. :unsure::blink:

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Another vote for returning the card to USCIS. By no means whatever would I send it on to him. No way.


I can explain it to you. But I can't understand it for you.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: China
Timeline

Agree with everyone, just wanted to add to not let him try some mental tricks and tell you that you have to send it to him or you are breaking the law. I could see him trying to use that angle. Jim, even though he left prior to receiving the physical greencard, I thought your passport stamp was the substitute?? Am I wrong here?


Nov 6, 2009: "I had breakfast in Korea, lunch in Shanghai, and dinner in Chongqing...now I just need to find a squat toilet..."

K1 completion: 03-10-2010, PINK!!!(well..it's orangish)
POE: Chicago/ORD 05-21-2010
Married: 05-26-2010
AOS completion: 10-28-2010
ROC completion: 05-16-2013

Naturalized: 11-21-2014

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I'd tell him you'll mail the Green Card after he repays you for the debts you incurred on his behalf. After he pays you back, mail the Green Card, but to USCIS.

:thumbs: i think this is the best advice.

anyway...i'm sorry you're going to have to go through this. no one ever expects this to happen, although there's always a possibility. things happen for a reason even if these things are crappy. maybe God has something else planned for you.

well...best of luck!

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