Petitioner doesn't want to get married

[little_g 35]

So wait a minute... you havent really explained "disaster" but I'll tell you this mate, I'm flying 3,500 miles to marry my fiance (ironically on the 29th) and let me tell you, If she lost her job and changed her mind and told me to go home, I'd be mighty pissed. I've sold everything I own except the clothes and few bits I am traveling with and have given up my flat. I'd be broke, jobless, hurt and homeless and I don't have the two kids she has with her with me! Think on it. You've got 90 days to make it or break it. I don't really know the circumstances as you really didn't say but I wouldn't want to return home to nothing.

-Jock

[S_R 148]

WOW! I wish you wisdom in whatever you decide...

[Ready to do it 101]

Call the police? Are you kidding? Can you imagine what it would be like for a single woman on her own with 2 kids who has only been in the US a few weeks? Calling the police would probably scare her and the kids to death.

There are a lot of things we do not know. Why do you not want to marry her? Was there a fight, is it because you lost your job, have you noticed gold digger tendencies that you were not anticipating, were you simply her ticket to the US? When she says, "She doesn't want to go." Do you mean she doesn't want to leave your house or she doesn't want to leave the US. I.e. Does she have other family members in the US and "her plan" was simply to marry you for the GC and then hit the road to be with her family.

This has nothing to do with an answer for you, but someone stated that "she has to leave... how will she live with no driver's license, no job, unable to travel freely, etc?" The answer is simple... the same way about 40 million other illegal immigrants survive. Reform the immigration laws... Amnesty for all!

Back to topic. I would not call the police. I think the reason why you want her to go back would help give the most politically correct thing to do. I.e. Let her live there for 4 more days and then take her to the airport, put her up in a hotel for 4 days, have her stay with a family member for 4 days (assuming she has family in your city).

Just out of curiosity, she has been here for 2 weeks, correct? Why is her return flight for July 29? Were you not planning on marrying her? Why would you make the flight 3 weeks out as opposed to 90 days out if a R/T ticket was what was needed. I'm assuming you weren't really planning on them using this July 29 flight?

good luck

If I were you I would call the police to have her removed. While in the presence of police I would give her the tickets, advise her of the date, pay for a hotel/motel while waiting for the flight and then if she doesn't catch it, you have proof you tried to do the right thing.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

[cardigans5 43]

So wait a minute... you havent really explained "disaster" but I'll tell you this mate, I'm flying 3,500 miles to marry my fiance (ironically on the 29th) and let me tell you, If she lost her job and changed her mind and told me to go home, I'd be mighty pissed. I've sold everything I own except the clothes and few bits I am traveling with and have given up my flat. I'd be broke, jobless, hurt and homeless and I don't have the two kids she has with her with me! Think on it. You've got 90 days to make it or break it. I don't really know the circumstances as you really didn't say but I wouldn't want to return home to nothing.

-Jock

Well said! It's easy for an American to change their mind and go back to their lives but for the person leaving their country it's a MUCH bigger risk and change...and I'm the American saying this. You know my Russian fiance actually wants us to do our bedroom in wallpaper...blah lol. But then I think she's leaving her who world there to be with me so if something like wallpaper will make her more comfortable it's the least I can do. Without knowing what this guys problem is I think it's very rude to ask someone to leave in just 2 weeks! For over a year {I imagine} this woman was right for you then after two weeks here everything changed? Not cool!

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

Yes, like what most says here, maybe you need to give it more time to think. I know in your situation you feel pressured. Give it time and maybe everything will work good. But if you really dont wish to marry your fiance, let her finish the 90 days and send her back to her country.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

I think your post is confusing, it is not entirely clear that YOU are the USC petitioner of which situation you are talking about. It appears this way. Well, will you not give it time? How bad is it? Remember that you have up to 90 days to get married under the terms of the K1 visa and the beneficiary has only been in the US for 15 days. Bumps along the road of a settling in and a new relationship of living together are expected. Will you not give it time? If not, nobody can force you into marrying. Eventually the beneficiary will be out of status if she does not marry the petitioner withink the 90 days of entry to the US. I would suggest that you try to change the date of the return tickets to a date closer to the 90 day deadline. By doing this, you will give it a little longer try and maybe if things are still going badly she can decide to leave. I am also sorry for losing the job.

Best wishes!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Call the police? Are you kidding? Can you imagine what it would be like for a single woman on her own with 2 kids who has only been in the US a few weeks? Calling the police would probably scare her and the kids to death.

No I'm not kidding. Have you read the posts about the sort of trouble some immigrants who are desperate (and some just because they're a$$holes) cause? it would be the best way to protect himself. Invite a friend and he's "ganging up on her". Even if she did end up leaving she could make his life hard and it would be smart to protect himself.

It honestly don't matter WHAT went wrong. This is his life and his choice. Just because she has kids doesn't mean he should change his mind or go against what he feels out of guilt. This just causes more trouble/hassles down the line. The fact she's refusing to leave indicates to me she's after the GC and not him. I don't care if I sold everything, if 2 weeks after i arrived my guy told me he didn't want me any more I'd be gone.

Selling up everything for that first flight (to activate the K1) is a bit foolish... esp as many couples (unfortunately) don't know each other as well as they should and some haven't lived together outside of a quick visit. It's no joke and the reality of "forever" sometimes is too much for people. Even those that think that knew each other well are having or have had relationship troubles and are considering returning home. Tony and I were together a while before I immigrated and I was still nervous that the "forever" reality of living together would be different to the visit/s. I sold/donated my stuff when I went home the last time. Maybe I'm overly rational but I certainly didn't want to be in a difficult position if it didn't work out.. it would suck yes but I'd be okay.

I think your post is confusing, it is not entirely clear that YOU are the USC petitioner of which situation you are talking about. It appears this way.

Not to be rude but his OP actually SAYS that he is the petitioner and that his wife is a K1 and has 2 k2 kids.

[cutie bear 2]

It's sad to hear that you lost your job, I'm sorry about this.

About your case, try to go back to step 1 the reason why you filed the K1 and why you agreed to include her kids. There was a joint decision and you are not the only party who decided to pursue this. I assume you discussed everything and came up with the decision of "ok let's file the K1 so we can be together".Now fast forward to the present, she's here with her kids and you lost your job. Discuss it with her that you don't have a job anymore and the only thing she could do to help you on this situation is try not to be demanding by asking you to buy unnecessary things. Tighten your belt and look for a decent job.

Try to be in her shoes too. She has also given up a lot of things in her home country (job, home/apartment, the kids' education, etc) too. When they go back, they will have to start on scratch plus all the pain that they went thru coming here, going back, etc.

She has 90 days give her a chance now if it really won't work then send her back. These are just my opinions, the decision is still up to you. I wish you more wisdom on this matter.

[Casprd 167]

I hear both sides of this, but to be honest, the "she gave up her life to come her" gets a little old. Of course she did and there are certain obligations, but at the same time, it was her decision to do this and she has the same obligations to try to work through things. It is a big risk on both parts. Certainly more so for the immigrating spouse, but that doesn't change the fact that if things aren't working they aren't working. If after 15 days it is to the point that he wants to call things off then it probably isn't going to get better. Both sides have to be willing to work at this.

Since you have the return flight already, make it clear to her that she needs to be on the flight and after this date she is no longer welcome in your home. If she doesn't want to leave then come the 29th you need to have the Sherriff evict her (not the local police).

[Used to be broken 146]

This is a tough post. We really don't know what the lead in to this was and when it hit the skids. I think everyone knows in the depths of their heart when its the wrong person. I think what makes sense for all here is to do a little soul searching and talk to the local padre or person of faith and get a moral obligation assessment. Very valid arguments have been made here for the good and the evil scenario. Also take a trip to a local family immigration attorney and have him lay it out for everyone. His attorney can draft a notice of intention and provide a letter stating exactly what the potential immigration consequences are.

There is a lot we don't know here and cannot speculate, gold digger, divorcee with ex on alimony and child support, recent bankruptcy or one of the many posters who got 2 co-sponsors. Sympathetic alien with adorable kids who left an unstable situation there on the hope of the American Dream (or nightmare). She could be a doctor or well off, who knows but just wants to be here. She should be informed and as an adult she should do what makes sense for her and the kids. Lay it out so everyone understands their obligations and the chips will fall where they may.

Best of luck to OP in any case.

[Suki 0]

I completely disagree. I am pretty sure that the petitioner has financial obligation within that 90-day (while the k1) visa is valid. If you did not have a financial obligation for bringing her to the US then they would not have asked you for your tax returns/tax transcripts. The reason they asked for this is to determine that you are able to suppost her and her kids and make sure that the government will not end up paying for her to survive while the K1 visa is still vaild.

You best thing you can do right now is either contact USCIS and see what you can do, come to a agreement with her, or just give it sometime and see if things change before her visa expires.

Good luck!

[Pejo 2]

I completely disagree. I am pretty surethat the petitioner has financial obligation within that 90-day (while the k1) visa is valid.

Sadly, this is where you're wrong. The I-134 is not a legally binding affidavit so the OP is not responsible for any support. I agree with Vanessa&Tony on this point. Just get them on their way and have it over with.

Best of Luck

Edit: Quote Didn't Fully Input

Edited July 26, 2011 by Pejo

[la2011 5]

So wait a minute... you havent really explained "disaster" but I'll tell you this mate, I'm flying 3,500 miles to marry my fiance (ironically on the 29th) and let me tell you, If she lost her job and changed her mind and told me to go home, I'd be mighty pissed. I've sold everything I own except the clothes and few bits I am traveling with and have given up my flat. I'd be broke, jobless, hurt and homeless and I don't have the two kids she has with her with me! Think on it. You've got 90 days to make it or break it. I don't really know the circumstances as you really didn't say but I wouldn't want to return home to nothing.

-Jock

Right on, Jock! Could not agree more with your statement.

Calling the police on a mother and her children and having them thrown out in a country that's foreign to them...that doesnt sound cruel and heartless at all ...

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I completely disagree. I am pretty sure that the petitioner has financial obligation within that 90-day (while the k1) visa is valid. If you did not have a financial obligation for bringing her to the US then they would not have asked you for your tax returns/tax transcripts. The reason they asked for this is to determine that you are able to suppost her and her kids and make sure that the government will not end up paying for her to survive while the K1 visa is still vaild.

You best thing you can do right now is either contact USCIS and see what you can do, come to a agreement with her, or just give it sometime and see if things change before her visa expires.

Good luck!

They ask for tax returns and financial information because they want to make sure they're not sending someone to the US who won't have a sufficient sponsor when it comes time to adjust status, and end up stranded here without the ability to get a green card. It's definitely NOT because there's any sort of binding financial obligation on the petitioner. The binding obligation comes with the I-864.

The US government (via the taxpayers) will not support her. Even if she got a green card, she wouldn't be eligible for means tested benefits until she'd been an LPR for five years. The US government will give her nothing.

[freetv 7]

Well July 29 is coming around early. She has no right to stay in your house because you're not married (if you were married you couldn't just kick her out). There is no legal responsibility to her, just moral.

If I were you I would call the police to have her removed. While in the presence of police I would give her the tickets, advise her of the date, pay for a hotel/motel while waiting for the flight and then if she doesn't catch it, you have proof you tried to do the right thing.

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

I agree, if did that you would have done everything you could do and then some. K1 visa isn't a contract that you are forced to get married, just that you have the opportunity to marry in the U.S. and adjust status to pr. If she becomes an illegal after the 90 days it has nothing to do with you, and in the unlikely event that someone came to ask you questions you just have to take out the folder with everything in it (hotel, flight, etc) and you are fine in every respect.

Edited July 26, 2011 by freetv