TBoneTX

You married well, si man.

Shame. I wonder how long these carriers will be relevant, given advances in warfare.

It is Wednesday -- time for our hilarious Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== A BLONDE CALLS 9-1-1 A blonde called 9-1-1 to report that her car had been broken into. She was hysterical as she explained her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cried. The 9-1-1 dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes." However, before the police got to the crime scene, the 9-1-1 dispatcher's telephone rang a second time. It was the same blonde. "Never mind," giggled the blonde. "I got in the back seat by mistake."

Scintillating Tuesday repartee, yawn man. ----- Thrilling Tuesday-on-Wednesday report, see man: Took Uncle T-B. to doctor, wait over an hour to see doc man. Lunch was Subway*, ingest we man. *bought WUOC and gift card, financially savvy we man Siesta thereafter, decent zzz we man. Maid supposed to come on Wednesday, we'll see if it's within an hour of promised time man. Spent over an hour decluttering kitchen table & counter, declutter we man. Now both can be at least partially cleaned, semisuccessful we man. Din-din was the remaining grilled-chicken strips in fridge, ingest we man. Warshered/baked/hung Mini-B.'s new clothes** from half-price sale, domestic we man. **one pants still had "real" store tag on it, steal man Spent entire later evening trying to find chicas, search we man. Connected with a Tex-Mex JC***, si from she man man. ***henceforth the TMJC, for reference man She is Many00% fluent in Spanish, Mexican parents man. She headshrinks children with autism et al., headshrink TMJC man. After brief messaging, she wanted to talk with our mouths by phone, comply we man. Talked for one hour + half an hour, nice connection man. We shall meet her on Thursday afternoon, meet we man she man man. Maybe also Friday eve, receptive we man and TMJC man. Probably Two Guys eve with Mini-B. on Wednesday, conjecture we man. Mini-B. should enjoy up-cleaned casa, assuming maid's arrival man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

The 51st! Haven't you been paying attention?

Should've been impressed. It's like a free zoo trip.

Audit Reveals All Fort Knox Gold Replaced With IOUs FORT KNOX, KY — An audit by the Department Of Government Efficiency has revealed that all the heavy gold bars that were thought to be kept in the secure vault at Fort Knox have been replaced by thousands of little paper scraps with "IOU" hastily scrawled upon them. An investigation team led by tech guru Big Balls was sent by DOGE to see whether or not the government still had in its possession the 147.3 million ounces of gold that Congress had been assured was "totally still there" and "definitely not stolen". [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/audit-reveals-all-fort-knox-gold-replaced-with-ious

Man Finally Realizes Reason People Play Hockey Is You Can Legally Punch A Canadian In The Face LITTLE ROCK, AR — Local man Dennis Walters finally realized that the reason people play hockey is because it allows them to legally punch a Canadian directly in the face. Puzzled for years as to why people would skate around in freezing temperatures with little sticks, Walters found the answer last night as he watched members of the U.S. hockey team repeatedly punch Canadians in the face. "It all makes sense now," said Walters. "I just never got the appeal before. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/man-finally-realizes-reason-to-play-hockey-is-you-can-legally-punch-a-canadian-in-the-face

Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Their Future National Anthem MONTREAL — Hockey fans of the soon-to-be 51st state of America booed when their future National Anthem was played last night. In a seemingly prophetic outcome, the loser nation currently known as "Canada" then got absolutely smoked by their imminent conquerors. "Boo! We like being euthanized and losing at hockey! Boo!" cried the Canadian fans. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/canadian-hockey-fans-boo-their-future-national-anthem

VDH tells it like it is! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is There a Democrat Blueprint to Regain Power? Democrats seem stuck in a cycle of rage and resistance, recycling failed anti-Trump tactics while losing ground with voters and donors alike. https://amgreatness.com/2025/02/17/is-there-a-democrat-blueprint-to-regain-power/

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man. ------- Thrilling Monday report, see man: Happy Presidents' Day, si man. Happy Columbus Day in Poland, oj tak. Finally got going after noon, slothful we man. Returned a product at Costco Business Center, $i man. Clerkette was an absolute fox and we did not flirt with her, man! Got Many (2+1) necessary items, satisfied with that aspect at least we man. Went to formerly favorite large thrift store, half-price day man. Got Many (2+1) shirts and Many (2+1) pants for Mini-B., score we man for wee man man. Found ourself a shirt, score we man for we man man. We saved $Many ($2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 -1), financially savvy we man. Breakfast/lunch/din-din was Subway* on the way casa-ward, ingest we man. *WUOC and gift card, financially savvy we man A siesta was ultimately taken, zzz we man. No chicas to see or call or write to or nothin', no chicas man. Party with the rubias later, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

Looks awful, but at least no one died.

This makes me want to hear the whole speech. Jonathan Turley raved about it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ J.D. Vance's Munich Wake-Up Call: Democracy, Censorship, and the Will of the People Vance's Munich speech slammed European elites for stifling democracy, warned of censorship and mass migration, and urged leaders to respect voters—or risk losing the very system they claim to defend. [...] https://amgreatness.com/2025/02/16/j-d-vances-munich-wake-up-call-democracy-censorship-and-the-will-of-the-people/

Cleaning Out the Federal Stables—Trump-Style The Washington Post is having a fit—actually another fit: "How Trump is stretching laws to make the federal government more political." Where to begin? The irony—or if you prefer, the . . . gall: WaPo objecting to politics in an administration? You can't make this stuff up. They accuse President Trump of planning "to transform the federal government into a leaner operation packed with his loyalists." Well, yes. He campaigned on shrinking the government (dismantling the deep state) for the purpose of expanding the people's freedom. Nothing new there. And who's he expected to populate his administration with? His enemies? "His executive orders could [...] https://amgreatness.com/2025/02/15/cleaning-out-the-federal-stables-trump-style/

Thrilling Sunday report, see man: We were surprised to still weigh only Many lbs. after Saturday's Taco Bell out-pigging, surprised we man. Did not leave the casa all day, perfect Sunday man. Did mildly regret not scoping the ES, oh well man. Breakfast for Mini-B. was corn dogs, ingest wee man. Lunch for us was ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s leftover Chinese, rice dry and ghastly but ingest we man. Conquered the Many (2+1) LLs by half-past Many p.m., efficiently domestic we man. An attempted siesta failed miserably, needed Tylenol first man. Din-din for Mini-B. was chicken taquitos, ingest delightedly wee man. Din-din for us was onecan of Aldi chili, ingest we man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. came for most of AFV, surprisingly watch we man and wee man and ex-she man man. Afterward was a rousing game of Nerf football, considerable hilarity man. Miu-toys were also thrown around during this process, wild occasion man. Must dish/de-dish the warsher and all chores will be done, domestically complete we man. Largely free week upcoming for ourself, glee man. Monday is half-price day at formerly favorite large thrift shop, go we man. Tuesday is doc caucus for Uncle T-B., chauffeur we man senior he man man. Wednesday is alleged appointment with maid, will she show up within Many hours of caucus time man. However, we have no chicas with whom to socialize, zero prospects man. Party with the rubias tonight, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Sunday, report we man.

Two attorneys advised writing "K-1 entrant -- applicant for adjustment"; or, more simply, "K-1 entrant -- adjustment applicant." This advice is excellent.

She brought it chiefly for Mini-B., see man. She brought it secondarily because she's getting fat, see man. We know her since we met her, si man. 'Twas for Many -- si man, Many -- valid reasons, si man.

1. Pizza 2. Tacos 3. CCCs

Well, had you upvoted the Valentine's joke, we wouldn't have been tempted to post another blonde joke!

Similar-themed threads have been merged. Please add other questions in THIS thread.

Thread is moved from the K-1 Process forum to the "AOS from K Visas" main forum -- OP is at that phase.

Our Valentine's joke was so popular that we're now returning to our regularly scheduled Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke and a popular topic: =========================================== THE BLONDE AT THE SALON A blonde was rollerblading with her headphones on. She stopped at a hair salon and asked for a haircut. She said that the hair stylist could not take off her headphones. The stylist refused to cut her hair, so she left. She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. This time, the stylist agreed to cut her hair. After a while, the blonde fell asleep in the chair. To wake her, the stylist took off the headphones. The blonde immediately fell to the floor, flopped around, and died. Confused at what had happened, the stylist put on the headphones. They were saying, "Breathe in, breathe out... breathe in, breathe out..."

VALENTINE'S DAY CARDS I love you with all my boobs. I would say heart, but my boobs are bigger. I knew I loved you... when I farted and you didn't run away. If you were stung by a jellyfish, I'd totally pee on you. Let's grow old and miserable together. I hate you the least. I love you more than pizza (or maybe a really close second). I'd totally shave my legs for you.

Democrats Demand Transparency From Man Who Posts Literally Everything He Does On The Internet WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have demanded increased transparency from a man who painstakingly posts on the internet every single thing he does. After viewing hundreds of Musk's posts from the past day, replete with videos and images chronicling his every move, Democrats condemned Musk for shrouding his work in secrecy. "We have no idea what Elon is really up to," said Senator Chuck Schumer, while listeners scrolling their phones read up-to-the-second updates from Musk about each bite of his breakfast. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-demand-transparency-from-man-who-posts-literally-everything-he-does-on-the-internet

Congratulations to Joe Biden for His Record-Setting Presidency I don't know about you, but it seems like every time we turned around during Joe Biden's presidency, he was taking a vacation. The Republican National Committee has crunched the numbers, and Biden racked up an astonishing number of vacation days. Congratulations, Joe. You set a record with 577 vacation days in a single presidential term. "Biden, 82, took more time off than any other US president in modern history, spending 577 of his 1,463 days in office – or 39% of his presidency — on vacation, according to shocking new data compiled by the Republican National Committee," the New York Post reports. The report continues: [...] https://pjmedia.com/chris-queen/2025/02/15/congratulations-to-joe-biden-for-his-record-setting-presidency-n4937016