EnglishLove

10 hours ago, thatguyuknow said:

Oh @Pooley tell him to apply for a discover secured credit card as soon as he gets his ssn and opens a regular bank account. I’ve only been here for 3 months and capital one have issued me with an unsecured card 3 days ago, delighted. So important that he starts to build his credit as soon as he can. 

 

Oh and if you have any cards, add him on as a authorized user, they’ll be added to his report too. 

All great info guys! Thank you so much! And yes, I did plan on putting him on my account as soon as he gets his social but I do need to have him build his credit! 

12 minutes ago, wbeem said:

Adjusting is hard, no matter what. 

I have moved so many times in my life and didn't think I'd have any trouble. For the most part, I was fine. What I really struggled with was after working for over 25 years, suddenly not working. My husband would go off to work every day and at first I used the time to get settled and find my space in the home and area, but after a couple of weeks I felt like I had lost my sense of purpose.  

One thing that really helped me a lot was not trying to bring Britain to my new home, but to try find the things I love here and focus on mastering them, enjoying them, learning .... basically making them 'mine.'  

Do you own your home? My suggestion is to give him a sense of purpose. Discuss with him things that he would like to do and give him tasks so he has a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Discuss them together though - don't order him around lol.  Also try to be mindful of the fact that when you get here, for a while you have no independence. Can't drive, get anywhere, work or do anything much - the things we take for granted that 'everybody does as part of life.' That includes if he needs some cash for anything. 

The biggest tip I could offer is realistically accept that it takes time to settle and adjust.  

As for the homesick posts, often it's not a case of wanting to go back; it's more wishing you could have some of your familiarity over here.  You'll be together and you'll work through it together. Part of your adventure   You will both be fine ❤️

Thank you!! I do own my own home. When he was here for Christmas, he redid my kitchen cabinets and lights so it kept him busy. Being that it's summer time, I have my fence and a lot of other projects. Thankfully, I have two vehicles so he'll be able to drive as his driver's license is valid in Idaho for 90 days and he's already going over the manual so he can take his test and get his license for here. One reason he stayed another two months was to build up some cash for when he's here so that'll help.. not that we really have anywhere to spend it lol. But going down to the gas station to get little stuff I think will help!

44 minutes ago, fip & jim said:

I think part of the problem with moving from the UK is it isn't always an improvement to our quality of life. That can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. If you're moving from some awful inner city area to somewhere with stunning scenery and fresh air it can be an improvement, or from a boring village to a bustling city the same could be true. Your fiance may find his inner country boy and just love life here. 

 

In my last job in the UK I had over 6 weeks holiday per year, 6 months fully paid maternity leave with an option to go on half pay for a further 6 months. It was much easier to keep fit as I could do a combination of cycle/ walk/ public transport to and from work, the food was healthier and it was easier to find and prepare than where I am now. The upside is that you get to be with your loved one. I think it's easier to adjust when you're younger too. It's taken me ages to adjust to driving here - all those years of muscle memory don't just vanish over night. 

 

I think he'll be fine. If he gets bored of country life you can visit a city. I'd struggle more with feeling trapped in a metropolis. A lot of it comes down to personality and attitude. Keeping occupied during AOS is essential though. It's only makes the homesickness worse if you're not occupied. @thatguyuknow has a positive attitude and it's served him well. He also has a job already. ☺️ I know I would have adjusted much better if I could have got out and about sooner.

This is very true! My fiance comes from very low income place so I guess that will be an improvement. I think I'm just getting a little nervous with all the homesick posts I've been reading. I will make sure to keep him busy between getting his GED and doing improvements (which he loves doing) around the house.  

4 minutes ago, WaterLeaf said:

Is that below the federal minimum wage? Jump the ship and get another job... that's what a lot of people do anyway.

No, the the entire county and how they are. After I think 2 years it goes up to 8 hours per month and then it just keeps rising the longer you stay 🤷‍♀️ but my town I live in is TINY so there isn't many options 

1 minute ago, WaterLeaf said:

Yeah that. It's all depend on how much work to do to get much money in, but on the low tier like many job it can be soul time stealing and it's very sad. There something got to be done about it.

I agree. I know the longer I'm at my job, the hours per month I earn raises but at the moment, I'm only at 6.67 hours per month 😕

14 hours ago, thatguyuknow said:

Well hopefully, he might surprise you and feel comfortable right away. 

 

One thing I don't miss from the UK is the drinking culture. Drinking after work, going for pub lunches and events with friend always revolved around drinking. I mean I like a beer, but not coming home smashed a couple of nights a week. I started work last week and no one has asked me out for a drink or even talked about going to a bar. I actually felt super relieved. 

 

One thing I do hate about America on the other hand is Lip-Service - 'I worked 15 hours yesterday' - No you didn't 

One thing that UK has that the US does not is a lot of vacation time. My fiance has worked at his job for 7 months and already had more than a week off. I've been at my job for over a year and just reached a week of vacation and that's only because I haven't taken any time off since I've started. Thankfully, I'm able to kind of change my schedule up a bit so I'm going to try to go to 4-10's (4 days a week at 10 hour days) so I have 3 days off with him. 

1 minute ago, thatguyuknow said:

We stay in Monroeville in PA, about 15 miles from the City and my partners family are about a 30 minute drive south in Greensburg/Youngwood area. 

 

Monroeville is nice for me, good mix of city and suburb. 

Ohh, you're far away from me lol. Our biggest city is Boise which is about 40 minutes away so if he feels like he needs the city it's easy to drive for a night out or something... at least that's what I'm hoping if he starts feeling home sick

1 minute ago, thatguyuknow said:

Tell him to bring an Orange Warburtons loaf! Dam this American bread gets old quick. I buy 'Artisan' bread but it ain't ever gonna be the same. 

 

I've been here 3 months and love it. Weather is amazing, my job is amazing and our home is awesome. Not felt homesick yet and I come from the big smoke. 

 

Tell him to embrace what Americans do and he'll fit right in. Every other day I'm either on a quad, a side by side, in the pool or out fishing with or without boat, sitting around a firepit or cooking on the bbq. How often would I do those things in the UK? Never! Well maybe the BBQ.  My partners family have been incredible and they've taken me under their wing. Without my partners family helping me integrate it would've been alot harder. 

Where are you at in the US?? And yeah, he did complain about the bread and said we will have to buy a different kind when he gets here lol. I will be taking him out fishing and doing BBQ's and he has to learn to ride horses but it's still not the city lol

4 minutes ago, AmandaandChayne said:

Hey Pooley like your fiancé I’ve moved from a busy city to a rural area of the US with a small population.

hardest things for me so far are not being able to drive and having hardly any pavements so walking here is an issue, feeling isolated, missing family so remind him to call home regularly they do want to hear from you, if he has made friends already plan things to do with them and find an ex pats group if there is one in your state and help him get to it. Missing English voices happens quite quickly. 

Amazon is great for English foods you’ll be surprised what he misses. Find English /Irish pubs in the area that do good food. Oh and long John silvers do cod.

I miss walking majorly. I miss being able to pop to a local shop. MapMyWalk is about to help with finding walking routes. 

Plan to have time together, quality time even if it’s small amounts often because integrating into your life is very different to visits. 

Allow him to help with your things right away so he has value be it helping sort fiancés or do the yard etc is crucial. I felt lost when I felt I had no value. 

If you need anything else feel free to message me 

 

I will definitely have to look into the food for him. Thankfully, I have a ton of projects that need to be done around my house and he loves building so that should help. My town is a little bigger than the one I grew up in so we do have sidewalks where he can go walking. Thank you for all your advice! 

11 minutes ago, dentsflogged said:

Not from the UK (Australia) but I did the "big city to small town" thing and.... look, honestly - it SUCKS.  It seems wonderful when you're visiting, and even for the first few weeks/months.

But small towns are insular. People have known each other for years (sometimes their whole lives) and it's hard to break into that to make friends. If you're in an area which "closes down" during winter (like we are) then it's even harder because there's no events going on where you might meet people.   Food options are incredibly limited (I used to be able to get literally ANY type of food I could want within a half hour drive of my old apartment, now I'm stuck with one (ok) Mexican place, one (terrible) Chinese place, about 7 different pizza places, 5 fast food chains and generic "bar" food of wings/burgers/pizza etc. Not exactly my idea of great options. 

 

For me, I'd love it if my husband made more of an effort to say "hey, lets go to the city this weekend" (he LOATHES cities, which is one of the reasons we live here, rather than Australia where quality of life is so much better on average, at least IMO) or was more willing to go out on our joint days off so I had a hope in hell of making new friends (I recently started working and get along pretty well with some colleagues, but it's not the same as organically making friends going from having a big group of friends I have a lot in common with in Australia to having a few people I can have a drink & a decent conversation with a few days a week is a HUGE adjustment and honestly after 9 months I'm starting to feel very isolated, lonely and depressed by it)

 

So - talk to him. Ask what he needs.  Does he need/will he benefit from a "city" weekend every now and then to get his fix?  Look at options to get food he's used to and enjoys.  Talk to his friends/family and see if any of them are willing to put together care packages of stuff from home he likes (my best friend sends me my favourite chips - since Chicken flavoured chips don't seem to exist here - and body wash from home every few months)  Try to help him find friends by doing research about stuff he's interested in before he arrives that he can start going to so he can start making new friends. If he likes British TV maybe subscribe to that on your cable package or get BBC on Amazon Prime (is that still an option? I don't know). If he had to sell/donate any things he really liked before moving see if you can surprise him with them (I couldn't keep all my DVDs so husband surprised me by upgrading my Lord of the Rings to the Extended Edition Blu Rays for Christmas) so he's got some familiar stuff that's got new memories attached to it.

This really great information! And I hope you start feeling at home soon. I'm really worried about this with my husband because it seems like that's the same situation he's going to be going into. I will look into getting him things that he really enjoys. Luckily, the nearest 'city' is only about 40 minutes away so I think that'll help.

2 minutes ago, fip & jim said:

I just remembered - I made a temperature conversion chart to put above the thermostat as I was always trying to figure out what the temperature was in celsius. AC is not common in the UK. It took me a while to know what was a good temperature in F for me to have the AC/heating set at. 

 

Same with bugs and plants and snakes - it's not common to come across poisonous species in the UK. I'm still not completely familiar with everything yet but I am more comfortable venturing out on my own now. I got a natural history book out of the library to try to learn some species. 

 

Connecting where things are in relation to each other also took time. It depends on how your fiance learns. I'm a visual learner so if someone gives me directions it doesn't work for me. I need to look at a map and then link it up in my head. 

 

Also the thought of a tornado ripping through the neighborhood was terrifying so I taught myself a tornado drill. The weather is much more extreme here. I'd driven in snow maybe 4 or 5 times in the UK. I know it's going to be an everyday thing here for me next winter. 

That's a super good idea with the thermostat. We always are looking at our temperatures on the phones but that will help. Thankfully he's been here in both winter and summer so he got some practice driving in the snow. We rarely get tornado's here. Mainly lightening storms that result in wildfire. When he was here for the summer, we did catch some snakes (only bull snakes, I will have to show him the rattler which is the only poisonous snakes we have). I also took him up to the mountains where we have mountain lions, bears, and wolves so he was a little spooked but I'm guessing he'll get use to that in time lol. The biggest thing he has to learn about is the horses and cattle. He does love it on the ranch, but with me working Monday - Friday, it's him having to find something to do during that time.

10 minutes ago, futurecoloradogrl said:

So glad to hear this!! I remember reading that you were having some difficulties during the visa process, I'm so glad your plans are coming together. 

 

I'm still yet to take the interview but have spent extended time in the US, though of course returning home to the UK at the end of it. One thing I'm worried about is the difference in food options! It seems a lot harder to eat and live healthy over there with few or no heathier 'to go' options unless you're preparing all your food at home from scratch. That's something I wanted to look into before moving - I've worked really hard this year to get fit and healthy, and would hate for it all to go to waste. I've had a look at gyms and yoga centers in Denver that offer free or cheap trial options so it'll be something I can do to keep busy during the weird 'in-between' period, whilst maintaining my health and fitness and also getting to meet new people. I've also been chatting to a couple of ladies via Instagram who live in the area and want to meet up for coffee or thrifting - a great way of connecting with new friends before you move, especially if you have niche interests & hobbies that other locals might share. 

 

Another thing I've found fun is to look up and organise local activities you can do with your fiance at the weekends (or their days off) - in Denver there's a zoo we haven't been to, and a few little hiking trips and tourist attractions nearby that I'm excited to research. 

 

Interested to hear any other ideas! 

 I know the foods are a bit different so I will need to look into that. He was here for a month around Christmas and didn't mind most of it and being raised on a farm, I get most of my foods (including meat) all fresh and not store bought which makes them healthier. We do have some gyms but really the most my town offers is an Albertsons and a Walmart lol. I work 5 days a week, 8-5, so he'll be home by himself most of the days which is why I'm worried. But he will be busy with his GED so that'll help.

Hello,

 My fiance is preparing to permanently move over on August 27th!! I'm so excited but also nervous he's going to be missing home as he's from a big city and I live in a tiny town/farm area. I've been reading a lot of people regretting or wanting to move back. And now with the Adjustment of Status taking so long before they can work, I'm getting worried. I'd like to hear from the people that moved to the US from the UK. What was the hardest part or any advise to help him adjust?? Thank you!

35 minutes ago, Debzib88 said:

Ok I'm feeling a lot of things, in excited slightly anxious, overwhelmed and nervous lol does Anybody have any tips for me? Ive read reviews, but does anybody have any advice. Like if I should turn up early etc. I know the nvc accept the documents. But is it the embassy that actually review the documents and tell you If you need a sponsor etc. I really want to hear those words approved. I'd really appreciate the advice and words of encouragement. This whole process is so damn stressful lol 

We just went through out interview on June 13th and I was so incredibly nervous. Our case had a 50/50 shot due to my fiance having a couple of cautions. I would say only be there maybe 30 minutes early (that's what my fiance did), and then to have all documents ready to just hand over. The rest should be fine. They were rude to my fiance and we were given a 221(g) because his medical hadn't arrived yet and we thought for sure we were going to be denied. Our case went to issued on the 1st of July!! Stay positive and good luck!!

1 minute ago, Jlow said:

Hiya pls ve you received your visa packet yet. My was issued yesterday n courier sent a text to that it will be ready for delivery tomorrow. Want to be sure they will deliver. Thanks 

Our was issued on the 1st and yesterday (the 2nd), my fiance received the email for tracking. He went to the courier today and now has the visa and his passport in hand!! 

23 minutes ago, jakejon said:

HEY!! MASSSSSSSIVE CONGRATS on Approval and Issuance!!!!!! ❤️ 

Hey Jakejon! Thank you!!!

2 hours ago, MissyK1 said:

that is so awesome! Our status changed to ISSUED this morning.   I took a leap of faith and booked his flight for next Saturday. I'd imagine it'll ship asap, yeh??? Anyone? We had interview 28June and issued this morning or late last night USA time (I was in London, just flew home, it changed to issued at 9am London time)... so I'm thinking we'd get courier email soon?

So happy for you P!!!

We had our visa ship to courier so we have to go pick it up but we just got the email today saying we should be able to track it by tomorrow and we were approved yesterday!

26 minutes ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

Oh my god, congratulations! Been following your story - so chuffed for you both! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Thank you!!! We just got the email saying our visa is ready for pickup tomorrow! I'm so freaking happy right now!

2 hours ago, ConnorS said:

At least it's booked and you now know he is coming, I'm down in London today for my medical, just biding my time until my appointment 😅

I almost bought a ticket to go to England in the beginning of October because I really didn't think it would be approved. I'm glad I didn't lol.

20 minutes ago, ConnorS said:

Congrats Pooley, wishing you and your partner all the best, was there a time he was looking to be over there with you for?

We booked the flight for August 27th so he can save up a little more!

1 minute ago, EffyEngland said:

So so SO happy for you girl! Your fiancé will get an email either today or tomorrow from the courier company in regards to when he can collect his package from the location he selected! 

Thank you!!!! I honestly was NOT expecting it to be issued... still doesn't feel real. And thank you.. I'll let him know!

Just now, missileman said:

Congratulations!!!  Just be sure to marry and file for adjustment of status within 90 days of his arrival in the US......

Oh I will!!!! Been waiting ages lol

6 hours ago, EffyEngland said:

Visa in hand this morning!!!!!!  

WOOHOOO!!! Congratulations!!!