EllisAndRenz

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

Sorry you are having difficulty right now but things will get better. Reading your post felt like I was watching a telenovela on GMA PinoyTV. I think you are better off now as like you said, you married someone with extended family who likes to treat you like an ATM. Do not generalize the Filipino culture though based on your experience as not everyone is like that. If your wife really loved you, she would not have left and fought for you. 

If she is responsible for watching a family with two kids, how is she going to be able to come to the US for three months? Where is the tie to her home country there?
I would expect that question.

That’s fraud.

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

I too remember that day.  (How could I forget it and the support from all of you!). 
 
I'm very proud of who she's become since her arrival.  (and I'm proud of what we've become as a couple).  After the drama from back at the start of the year, I owed you all an update.  Things did work out.  
 
 

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

I too remember that day.  (How could I forget it and the support from all of you!). 
 
I'm very proud of who she's become since her arrival.  (and I'm proud of what we've become as a couple).  After the drama from back at the start of the year, I owed you all an update.  Things did work out.  
 
 

I too remember that day.  (How could I forget it and the support from all of you!). 
 
I'm very proud of who she's become since her arrival.  (and I'm proud of what we've become as a couple).  After the drama from back at the start of the year, I owed you all an update.  Things did work out.  
 
 

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

She makes Baghdad Bob (remember him?) look honest.  

I too remember that day.  (How could I forget it and the support from all of you!). 
 
I'm very proud of who she's become since her arrival.  (and I'm proud of what we've become as a couple).  After the drama from back at the start of the year, I owed you all an update.  Things did work out.  
 
 

She makes Baghdad Bob (remember him?) look honest.  

She makes Baghdad Bob (remember him?) look honest.  

Raggedy Ann (alias Peppermint Patty) is a liar.... a terrible liar. 

Thank you for the update.  I have often wondered how you are doing.  I still remember the day she arrived in the US.  There were several dozen of us  VJ members anxiously awaiting "with you".

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

For those that have been following our journey.  
 
It's been a long one.  It started when we both met while I was on a long term work assignment in Makati.  Then we had the long-distance relationship which had it's ups and downs.   Eventually we were united and we started off happy. 

That's when things got "interesting".   Her jealous nature, my ignorance as to how certain things would be perceived and both of our needing to learn about each other.  (Example:  Going from a long-distance relationship to being married within 90 days has an adjustment period that will always catch by surprise).  The other aspect was extended family causing issues for us as well.  Combine this with my wife's insane temper and it was a rough ride for a bit.  
 
I'm happy to say that I truly believe we are past the worst and we will have a very bright future.  My wife really stepped up during some recent tragedies in the family, and of course she earned the respect of everyone in my extended family.    More important than that however I think she's learned to bond and understand some members of my extended family.  My wife has settled into her new job and is looking beyond that.  She's become independent while also being a loyal and supportive wife.  
 
I guess my points are:  These things aren't easy.  Paradise isn't free.  Stick with it, never let each other go, and no matter how bad things can seem at some times, they can work out.  
 
Thank you all here for your endless support and advice.  It has been very much appreciated.

Yes, we do have to address the elephant in the room.  The false allegations.  She's admitted to me that it wasn't true, so I guess that's a first step.  That's the one thing that hurts the most that's going to be the hardest thing for me to get past.   But let's see how it goes.  I know how she feels about a great many things now and some are super easy to address (like how I talk to my ex ...  so that's fine.)  The rest will take some time, but so long as she doesn't go off the deep end again I think we will be OK.  And yes, to your point about a psychiatrics assessment, not a bad idea.  I'll go with her and that should remove the stigma.  🙂
 
But again, thank you all for taking the time to read and respond.  

All the best to you, brother.

I know the other thread is locked.  I've read each and every piece of advice.   (Even those that disagree with me and that's perfectly fine).

Going forward no more saying "love you" to the ex.  I get that.  

As of today she wants to reconcile.  I do too, but I  have to deal with the fact that she accused me of something that was an outright lie.  I do need to find a way to get past that, protect myself going forward.   That does scare me.  

Anyway: Today is a calmer day.   Wish me luck.