dawning

11 hours ago, SalishSea said:

I would be very surprised if they don't request DNA evidence, especially with the birth certificate not listing him as the father.  Sending money abroad is not evidence of a biological relationship.

Thanks for the info.  What else have folks used successfully for evidence of relationship? Is the biological relationship key, or is it more about family relationship?

We have photos of them spending time together since she was a child, and social media posts where they interact with each other.  Would that be helpful, or is it just DNA they care about?

Thanks again.

Hello Visa Journey folks,

I got a lot of help some years ago with my Venezuelan husband's immigration and later his naturalization.

Now we are contemplating him applying for his daughter, since she is not seeing a great future for herself in Venezuela right now.  I have a couple of questions and would really appreciate input if anyone has any.

She is 19 and a half years old, and will be 21 in April of 2025.  If she turns 21 before receiving the visa will that make the process significantly longer?

Also, she was born after my husband's relationship with her mother had broken up, and as a result his name is not on her birth certificate.  Her parents were never married to each other.  She has known him as her biological father and they saw each other and communicated at different times throughout her childhood and adolescence.  He was earning less money when she was young and her mother covered expenses, but later as Venezuela's economy deteriorated we have often sent money to help her with living expenses and education.  He has many pictures of them together when she was young, and more recently when he has visited Venezuela.  I think there are social media posts as well.

Will this evidence be likely to be adequate to establish parent-child relationship?  Is there anything else we should consider submitting?

Thanks in advance.

4 hours ago, NikLR said:

It doesnt hurt for her to try for a B visa.  Worst csse is she's denied and you have a plan B.  On a side note, I'd never marry someone who refused to visit my country. 

4 hours ago, Going through said:

Same.  It'd be like insulting my roots/entire culture.  And then there's the whole "never get to spend holidays/special events together with the other spouse's family".

Hopefully OP doesn't mean he'll NEVER visit her home country...like never EVER...because that'd really suck on a lot of levels for his intended wife.

Well, we don't know his reasons... I met my now husband when I visited (extensively) his home country, but the political and social circumstances have worsened to a point that I don't feel safe going back, and especially not taking my children there; even though they are half Venezuelan.  However, my husband doesn't have an issue with that.  Actually he hasn't felt safe visiting either.

It's genuinely a shame.  I hope Venezuela gets back to being a friendly place to visit in my lifetime :(

Actually, in many parts of the world it is within the realm of "normal" for young women to marry significantly older men WHEN the older men have financial resources that make them more than averagely desirable.  Not so common for a young attractive woman to marry a broke old man.  I have noticed this in my husband's home country of Venezuela, for example, and I am guessing the Philippines is similar. At the same time it is still considered suspicious and not genuine when a younger man is seemingly attracted to an older woman.  It seems to me that it has to do with men's historical value being as financial providers, and women's historical value being attractiveness and reproductive potential.  In the US and other western countries, as women have become more financially independent, our cultural distaste for marriages with a big age difference has increased, as evidenced by snide remarks about trophy wives.  But I would say that the older male/younger female is still consider a viable option in many parts of the world, and the opposite is often likewise considered highly suspicious. 

It DOES seem a little inconsistent though, that a young Filipina may be considered normal and genuine for valuing an older American man in part for the financial stability and opportunities he can provide her, and a young Moroccan man may be considered fraudulent and deceitful for valuing the same in an older American woman.  But both are consistent with local cultural norms.  And those norms are also influenced by biological possibilities for children, and by ideas about female "purity" (divorced women or those already having children maybe traditionally not desirable in some cultures, while this tends not to affect men's desirability).  So while imperfect, the overall biases do make sense. 

That doesn't mean that there can't be a genuine relationship between two people not within cultural norms.  But that they would have more scrutiny is normal.

Thanks everyone for trying to help.  I guess our situation is just a little unique due to Venezuela's financial instability.  Would it be helpful to post in the regional forum maybe?

5 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

I wish I knew whether a letter from the mother would be enough.

Thank you!  I will keep digging.  I was hoping maybe someone else in a similar situation might say what they had done.  I did see an old thread from some who had been paying child support directly to an ex here in the US and couldn't get her to write a letter.  But at least he had checks and records of payments to her... In this case we don't have anything with the mom or daughter's name... But I think the mom would be willing to write something; they are on better terms now than in the past.

1 minute ago, Ontarkie said:

Proof of child support is required. Without it he will be denied on grounds of not good moral character. 

 

 

 

THe OP may want to search the boards this has come up before and maybe one of the other members detailed how they showed proof.

Thank you, yes that is my understanding too.  I have searched some, and will continue to do so.  Venezuela is just a little more difficult to send money to than other countries, so I was curious what others might have done to document payments made in less direct ways.  Would a letter from the mother be enough?

1 hour ago, Russ&Caro said:

I could be wrong but I don't see how showing proof of child support payments would affect any kind of immigration application. As for applying for citizenship, he is required to do that, not you. And although the application asks him to list all children, such as his daughter, I don't believe there is a requirement for having paid child support in a country other than the US.

 

As for applying for the child to be a resident as a USC, proof of child support isn't going to be the determining factor. Without his name on the birth certificate he is probably going to have to establish paternity formally through a DNA test. Good luck.

Thank you for your answer.  I do know that he is the one that will actually apply;  I am just helping him out by researching the requirements ahead of any actually application.  For the citizenship application there is something under good moral character that talks about the not refusing to support a dependent, and it seems I have read that when actually applying it asks for evidence of support payments if you list children that don't live with you. 

Yes, I have wondered about residency for his daughter as well... Not sure we would do that in any case, as she lives with her mother and half sister and is close to them, and I don't know if she wants to come to the US.  Although the way Venezuela is going leaving it can be very appealing for almost anyone. 

5 minutes ago, David & Zoila said:

I didn't mean to say you were doing anything wrong but perhaps the person facilitating the "transfer" of these funds might be involved in illegal activities.  Good luck.

It might be illegal in Venezuela... It is allowing a lot of people to eat or pay the bills though.

It does look like Moneygram does send to Venezuela, at a lower exchange rate... Seems like maybe I have heard there is a hefty tax though, so maybe that's why Venezuelans are doing it with smaller businesses?  I am used to my husband arranging it all.

Just now, David & Zoila said:

It's kind of strange but this sounds very much like money laundering??

I guess in a way it could sound like that.  As far as I can see this kind of arrangement is almost universal among Venezuelan ex-pats, because of the craziness with the Venezuela currency and inflation.  Some years ago the Venezuelan government declared the currency at an official fixed value, and the black market was always somewhat more than that.  At first it was only around 50% more, but after Chavez died and things got more and more difficult financially in Venezuela (and more and more people were selling everything and buying foreign currency to leave), the black market rate exploded, and then it was hundreds or thousands of times more than the official exchange rate.  I think the government has know done away with currency control (not sure on that) but at this point the currency is so volatile and the inflation so extreme that I don't even know if places like Moneygram will deal in Bolivares.  In any case, there are people who have this as their business: they have bank accounts in both countries, and contacts with people who to buy or sell bolivares.  They earn a percentage for their service.  I'm not sure if it is legal in Venezuela at this point (it wasn't in the past) but it IS keeping a lot of Venezuelans' heads above water as they subsist on money sent home by family overseas. 

Good evening VJ community,

I am looking at the requirements for filing for citizenship for my husband.  He has an almost 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship who lives with her mother in his home country (Venezuela).  While she doesn't have his last name and he isn't on her birth certificate due to a conflict-prone relationship with her mom when she was small, everyone knows that he is her father and they are currently in fairly regular contact.  We have included her information on every immigration form we have filed.  

He has sent money on a regular basis to her mother for her support pretty much since he has been here (4+ years) and has also taken clothing items and other necessities for her when he has visited Venezuela, or more recently sent them back with another family member who was visiting the US.  Because of the currency problems that Venezuela has had for many years, he isn't able to send money through regular channels like Moneygram, rather it is done through a third party arrangement:  We deposit checks into that person's US bank account, and they deposit Bolivares into the accounts of the people in Venezuela to whom we are sending money. 

Does anyone have any ideas of how to demonstrate this payment of support?  I think the mom would be willing to write a letter saying that she has been receiving the payments, but would that be enough?  Perhaps the woman with the US bank account could also write something explaining that she has been facilitating those payments for us.  All the checks we have are written to her (the money transfer woman) not the mother or the daughter.  I suppose he might also have Whatsapp messages talking about money and other things he has sent, but I don't know how useful those would be?

Some advice often shared on here that applies to your situation:  Keep your important documents, including immigration documents, evidence of your good faith marriage, and, if necessary, evidence of his mistreatment of you, in a safe location he does not have access to.  A safe deposit at a bank could be one example.  While ROC with a divorce is definitely possible, some people on here have struggled with providing enough evidence after having divorced an abusive spouse who kept or destroyed evidence. 

I understand that you want to work on your marriage, and no one here can tell you whether or not it is worthwhile.  But it could be wise to have a stash of evidence in case things don't work out, as he could get worse in his treatment of you.  Racist and derogatory language is already pretty bad.

Good luck!  Don't give up on your dreams.  If he doesn't want to come along for the great life you have planned for yourself then it's his loss, not yours.

Just to be clear, the I-130 is if you and the children want to go to live in the US.  It is a petition for an immigrant visa since they are not now citizens.

If you are just wanting to live in the Philippines and have citizenship for the kids, there isn't really a way to do that, at least not that I know of.  But they are eligible for citizenship if the move to the US.

2 hours ago, Delandman said:

A lot of good points and ideas here. I do not think she is here at all she loves the Philippines and is very tight with her family. She was also a nanny and loves kids just wants one of her own which I am 46 and have two teens. I thought maybe I wanted another one but after fighting so much it would not be a good idea. I rally don’t know what her intentions are. She can’t drive which sucks because I am at work for 24hours at a time I know she is bored and depressed. I don’t know which way to go with all this. I think she is a good person with a good heart but loves kids and wants her freedom. Her distancing herself from my kids have been a real problem and also very jealous of my Ex-wife because I have to pay child support and the ex and I get along. I guess in the Philippines they don’t do child support or get divorced like we do here in the states.

Sounds like a difficult situation.  It could be she has fraudulent intent, in which case advice to pull the I-864 and send her home would be reasonable; but it could also be that she is just homesick and struggling with life here not being what she expected.  If not having children is a deal-breaker for her, perhaps you should divorce and help her get back to her country? 

Maybe some kind of counseling or mediation could help the two of you to be clearer about what each wants and what each is willing to do and not willing to do. 

Perhaps going back to the Philippines for a visit could help her to get clear in her own mind what she wants?  

Actually a some experts recommend one parent, one language, to force the child to compartmentalize and be able to express themselves, and not just understand, in both languages.   So while it's great for you to learn Spanish for a lot of reasons, including speaking to your in-laws, I don't think you should feel bad about using English with your daughter.

13 minutes ago, K1visaHopeful said:

This is quoted directly from the IMBRA Pamplet:

 

"What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior when one intimate partner or spouse threatens or abuses the other partner. Abuse may include physical harm, forced sexual relations, emotional manipulation (including isolation or intimidation), economic and/or immigration related threats. While most recorded incidents of domestic violence involve men abusing women or children, men can also be victims of
domestic violence.
Domestic violence may include sexual assault, child abuse, and other violent crimes. Sexual assault is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to, even with your spouse, and can be committed by anyone.
Child abuse includes: physical abuse (any injury that does not happen by accident, including excessive punishment), physical neglect (failure to provide food, shelter, medical care or supervision), sexual abuse, and emotional abuse (threats, withholding love, support or guidance)."

 

She has a valid case with VAWA.

Thank you, I thought I remembered that language but wasn't sure.

I would say if she were a USC, and lived originally in the same city as her husband, their marriage would be borderline abusive.  But given that she immigrated and is entirely dependent on the husband and his family for support in the absence of AOS that would allow her to work, I would say that it is clearly abusive.

To the OP: I think it is clear that you DO qualify for VAWA, although the diminished conditions you have been living in since marriage may make showing a bona fide relationship difficult.  Someone else also mentioned a U Visa, which is for witnesses to crimes, due to the child pornography you have seen him possess.  You could also scrape up money to go home, which would be the easiest legally.  You have a lot of options to choose from.  Please don't give up.

57 minutes ago, Boiler said:

There was nothing VAWA ish in the initial posting.

She wrote " He's told me if I speak to his family about anything he has done, he'll just throw me out and I'll end up getting deported. " 

Threatening a spouse is typically understood as abusive behavior.  She also writes about him being angry and giving her a hard time if she sees or calls people outside of the house, which fits with a pattern of controlling/abusive behavior.

I can't remember if there is also some specific language in the VAWA descriptions about using a victim's immigration status to threaten and control?

4 hours ago, databit said:

Have you thought of hiring senior citizens? Many of them need the extra income, and they have the best work habits and are not going to do drugs. 

Actually I know some seniors with addiction issues.   It's a common belief that drugs are something that only the modern degenerate youth do, but that's not at all true across the board in my experience.

Age stereotyping is no more accurate than racial, gender or other forms of stereotyping.

It's not just that divorces are hard to track; there are also a lot of stressful things about immigration aside from the wait times and uncertainty.  Moving to another country and acclimating is stressful.  (Of course it is more stressful for some individuals than others.)  Cross-cultural relationships do tend to have their own special set of challenges as well.  For some the real stress starts when the immigrant arrives, not during the wait.  Or it could  feel liketrading one stress for another. 

I do agree that it's simplistic to say that if a marriage doesn't survive, it's because the partners didn't love each other enough.  Almost as simplistic as blaming it on immigration processes.

Just curious: why not try to go through the Dubai consulate if he is residing there?

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

Yes she came right out and said it. 

Interesting, so that contradicts the info the OP heard... perhaps officers don't all weight evidence the same way.

1 hour ago, Ontarkie said:

You may want to read in the Effects forum where the USC parent  was completely abandoned along with the child.  The immigrant parent to never look back once they got what they wanted. That child was nothing more then a pawn. This was not only by a so called father but mothers have also ditched their child when they got what they were after. 

 

 When it came to the N400 interview my daughter was 8 months old. Guess what they  asked for?  More proof of relationship other than her. Joint car insurance had more weight than her birth certificate. 

Curious how you know it had more weight.  Did they tell you that?

I'm also pretty sure you can read about people who abandoned their joint checking account, insurance, rental agreement, and so forth.  Probably more common?

2 minutes ago, Jaquelly said:

Because women come to the US to give birth to kids to get them US citizenship. Birth tourism is a thing. Frankly, if you don't think that people abuse having kids to have an anchor baby you are out of your gourd.

I suspect most of those women wanted children anyway, and are using birth tourism to give the child a perceived advantage via US citizenship.   I would guess the percentage that only had a child because they had a chance to give birth in the US is relatively low.  It's hard to get statistics on that though.  I think we also have to realize that reasons for having children vary a lot across cultures, and people may not always describe the reasons in the same way.  That doesn't mean they are not sincere in their desire to have children.

I also think there's a confusion of two concepts.  Pregnancy is not a reason for expedite, unless there's a medical problem.  Neither are existing children, although one parent might be unhappy to be away from them.  But that doesn't mean that HAVING the children is proof of a genuine relationship, even if that relationship has to wait in line with all the others.

I also find it a little puzzling how insistent some posters on here are that children in common are not any kind of evidence.  While obviously everyone makes decisions differently, anyone wanting to have a child and a relationship to that child should probably think carefully about the who the other parent will be, as shared custody with someone from a different values set can be very difficult. 

I don't buy the idea that to accept children as evidence from couples that are able and want to have children is discrimination against those who aren't able or don't want to.  Having both parties' names on the deed to the house is good evidence, probably better than just a rental agreement which is more temporary and easier to modify, but that's not discrimination against those who can't afford a house or prefer to rent.

I also find it interesting that OP has had an answer from two USCIS officers that children are excellent evidence, and yet posters here continue to insist they aren't.  Were the officers lying?