dawning

How do you feel about it?  Do you feel you have a bona fide relationship?  If so, thinking about why might give you ideas for evidence.

9 hours ago, Daniela M_______ said:

Thank you for this detailed information! I got it better now... Are you from Venezuela? I am.

 

Iit makes sense to have some restrictions, I know health is very different than what we know in Latin america, specially in Venezuela where you have the IVSS which we now it doesn't work but it is (or was) a help for poor people. Health public services in Mexico are provided by the IMSS (Instituto Mexicano de Seguro Social) and it works better than back home but still has its deficiencies. 

 

I'm appliying for K1 and my fiance told me he will be able to add me to his health insurance once we get married, but still I kneed to learn a lot about not only benefits but restrictions I'll have when I become a resident. 

 

 

 

I'm the USC, my husband is from Venezuela.  I have spent a lot of time there in the past, so I do know a little bit about how different it is/was.  (Nothing seems to be working well in Venezuela right now.) 6 years ago I was there and had an emergency health problem, and was able to go to the public hospitals and be treated without anyone seeming to care at all if I was a citizen or a resident or a tourist.  But I had to bring my own sheets and toilet paper, so it wasn't like a hospital here.  The doctors and nurses were very good and very kind though. 

I think you should be fine if your fiancee has private insurance he can add you to, at least from an immigration perspective.

2 hours ago, Daniela M_______ said:

I'm going to ask what might be a very very silly question, but I want to go out of my ignorance about this "benefits" matter:

 

I'm already living outside my home country, I have an status as temporary resident, I work, I pay a lot of money in taxes and they charge me for other things like access to public care system etc even if you don't use it (it might work a little different in Mexico than in America but you get the point).

 

So if I need let's say a medical appointment at the public medical service, I'm free to go there and get attended.

 

I don't get what's the issue about being an immigrant and get access to this benefits (which again, I have no idea where the money come from but I guess it would be from the taxes everyone pays), of course I see a problem if people intend just to live on benefits, but my question goes to those with a legal residence, paying taxes and being useful to society and country economy...

 

It's an honest question, I have never in my life lived on expenses of public benefits, not even back home and I hope to be able to support myself without any government help for the rest of my life no matter in what country I'm living.

That's really not a silly question at all. It's something that many foreigners find strange about the US, and something that most native born US citizens don't think about much.

In the US, certain services are considered public.  Things like police and fire departments, are expected to mostly serve everyone within a geographical region regardless of the economic status of the people needing services.  I think that is partly because of a perception that the public safety of all is at stake when a crime is committed or a fire occurs.  Police and fire departments don't charge people to receive services either.  (It would create a lot of ethical problems if they did).  Other public institutions like public roads or public parks are equally available to everyone, although some charge for use to fund additional services, like toll bridges.  We also have public education for children, which is tax funded and free, although there are often criticisms of unequal quality between wealthier and poorer school districts.

Medical services are not considered "public" in that sense in the US, at least not in most contexts.  There is some government funding of services for poorer people, which is what this discussion is about keeping immigrants from using.  But it's not like you can just show up somewhere and get medical care the way you could go to a police station and report a crime against you.  You have to first be approved to receive government assistance based on your income and other circumstances, and then you also have to find a doctor or clinic that will accept the government assistance (it's sort of like an insurance the government pays for).  Not all doctors will accept that payment for a variety of reasons, and it doesn't pay for all sorts of treatment.  We don't really have anything like the public care system you are talking about in Mexico. 

The other thing about this is that they are talking about making immigrants show that they have private health insurance.  Private health insurance tends to be pretty expense, so a lot of US citizens don't have it just because they can't afford it.  It's pretty common for people to loose their home and go bankrupt after a serious health problem just because of hospital and medical bills.

So it does kind of make you think that they want to have only well-funded people immigrating. 

The US has some of the most expensive health care in the world, and private insurance is big business.  I believe there's a lot to discuss about the system could be improved for everyone, not just immigrants.

5 hours ago, RainbowMonkey said:

Yup! Gotcha! Thank you so much! We didn’t get an interview for my K1 too. GC just showed up in the mail. ☺️

 

We have joint accounts and such but we might need to start taking pictures tho. We both hate being photographed so we need to work on that. 🙃

I don't think photos are too important, although they are nice to include if you have them.  Your son's BC IS good evidence, joint accounts are too.  Some people have used things like joint insurance (car insurance, health insurance, life insurance with the spouse as beneficiary) and ID such as driver's license showing the same address to show you live together. 

I think you should be fine.

7 hours ago, TNJ17 said:

If she is no longer in a relationship with this man she has no reason to come here anymore. She needs to surrender her visa because spousal visas are for reuniting families. It seems he is done with the relationship, whatever his reasons may be, and she no longer qualifies to live here. I don’t know how much damage he can do to her through Homeland Security, but if he’s filing for a divorce I guess he can inform USCIS the marriage is dissolving and there may be a red flag if she tries to come. I don’t know if that is how it works but seems fair. She chose to leave in the middle of AOS and she didn’t have to be gone that long but she chose to. That’s not really how you should start a marriage. If he is all that he says he is, why would she want to be with him? It would look like she would be doing it just for the greencard. What woman would stay with an abusive man who made all those false claims about her? It looks like she got lucky he’s just done with the relationship and she should just forget it, file for divorce and continue her life down there. She won’t be immigrating on that visa and she shouldn’t. 

On 9/7/2018 at 6:35 PM, David & Zoila said:

Maybe it's just me but I would be a little upset if my new wife left the country for a year???!!!  I might suspect she was just looking for a green card.  Just thinking out loud.  Good luck to your "friend".

It doesn't really sound like there was a lot of choice on her part.   Once she decided to support her family through a devastating and unexpected tragedy,  she probably couldn't legally come back in less than a year.

It might have been the wrong choice to leave a new husband in order to help the family of origin through dire straits.  None of us here can really judge that.  But while being suspicious of her motivations, shouldn't we also suspect the husband who doesn't support his wife in coping with her brother's death?  If "just looking for a GC" then leaving before getting AP makes NO sense.

28 minutes ago, JFox762 said:

Does Turbotax allow you to figure out "Community Property" issues? I have no idea how that applies seeing as my wife is a foreign spouse.

is Turbotax desktop the same as the online version?

In 2014 I filed 2013 tax year as married filing separately because my husband hadn't come to the US yet and did not have an SSN.  I used Turbo Tax and printed the returns to mail, writing NRA  by hand in the SSN spot.  My state of California also seemed to be a community property state and TT guided my through that part of the return.  It mostly had to do with providing information about my husband's income in the tax year, which was all in his home country.   I used the desktop version.

I hope that helps!

24 minutes ago, Sugarlegetiti said:

My mother received the same thing and she is a green card holder. You can ignore( that's what my mom did) or you can fill out the questionnaire that you are not  US citizen. Nothing to worry about 

I think it's probably more prudent to send it back.  In some counties they have been known to call people who didn't show up on the posted date and demand to know why they weren't there.  Saves hassle and maybe future summons if you let them know you are not eligible.

It seems like she should also know if her daughter has been registered as a US citizen or if she has a US Passport.  If she is going to travel with her daughter and the father won't be with them, she would have to have possession of the passport.

It does seem strange.

If her fiance is a US citizen and meets some other requirements (certain amount of residency in the US) his daughter can be registered as a USC at the embassy and could travel with a US passport to the US.  Google CRBA (Consular report of Birth Abroad).  If that hasn't been done then it might be hard for her to travel. 

If he's not a USC he cannot petition for a fiance to immigrate to the US.

It's true that the other things he is saying seem odd, both the timeline and the idea that a case that far along would not have a case number, or multiple case numbers.  Does she trust him generally?  Does she think he knows what he's talking about?  

It IS a confusing process, if he has good intentions but genuinely doesn't understand the process perhaps he should join her and read up on it.

24 minutes ago, Amadia said:

I can understand that but it does not change what the law is. We can argue tomato and tom-ah-to, but for OP to knowingly 'marry' and have children with an already married man would be bracketed as adultery whether he, or she or you see it otherwise. Also, OP never stated what country she is from so we have no way of knowing what is acceptable regarding bigamy and poligamy. 

 

Poligamy and Bigamy is accepted in very few countries but as per the USA, bigamy is illegal in every state and lands the offender up to 5 years imprisonment. A list of countries can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigamy 

 

Adultery, however, is not illegal.

 

I think that's why she referenced cultural differences.  You bracket it as adultery, as do many people in this country, but perhaps it's not in her country.  It all depends on who gets to handle the brackets. 

I count 14 or 15 countries on the list you reference where it may be legal.  And there are a lot of countries not on the list.

However, as you and others point out, it doesn't matter what is legal in her country if it's illegal in the US, for immigration purposes. 

I do think labeling as cheating regardless of location is inaccurate; that was the point of my post.

7 hours ago, BlessedAssurance said:

On the other hand, while not condoning the actions of the male, the OP went on to have a marriage knowing the male had a wife. His marriage having problems is not sufficient reason to justify marrying him in any form.

4 hours ago, Amadia said:

Just to add on to others' comments.....being from different cultures or religious practices does not mean that what you and your kids' father did was okay - cheating is cheating, no matter how you dress it up.

You knew he was married already but you still put yourself with him and had kids....not judging....just pointing the obvious.

He knew what he was doing each time he visited and left you pregnant....you possibly could not see that....again, not judging.

 

Each comment now would be moot as the situation already occurred and cannot be reversed. Coming to America is the least of your worries, what would you do if he decided to only visit you in your country and not file for you to come to live in the USA?

As human beings, we all make commitments when we think love is involved.....marriage....children.....financial co-mingling, etc.

Once the smoke clears, it is only then that we realize it was all a farce and infatuation that made us make the decisions we did. 

 

I'm sorry but your only solution would be to have him come visit you and not the other way around.

I'm thinking they may come from a culture where it's considered normal for men to have multiple wives. So "cheating" may not be how she, or he, sees it.    Even the USC wife may have familiarity with that concept, although that is not at all clear. 

However, as several other posters have mentioned, the difficulty is when their cultural norms rub up against US law. 

1 hour ago, Roel said:

Example. You are a man, got random woman pregnant/ or you're a woman and get pregnant by accident during one night stand.  Does it mean you have a relationship? Nope. It's just evidence of having sex. 

 

For USCIS evidences of on going relationship is proofs of conversation, shared finances, shared address, health insurance and other documents with both parties name on it. 

 

You can have a child with everyone, but you get that mortgage or car loan usually only with trusted spouse.

22 minutes ago, florida racer 73 said:

I read in another thread, a member said: pregnancy is only proof of sex, not proof of a bona fide relationship. After thinking about that statement..... it is true.

I have seen this statement a lot here, and find it puzzling.  Yes, if you are fertile and you can have sex with another fertile person, and it can often result in pregnancy, and this in and of itself does not prove a bona fide relationship. 

BUT, in the context of a marriage it does serve as some (not the only) evidence of a bona fide relationship.  Roel says "You can have a child with everyone, but you get that mortgage or car loan usually only with trusted spouse."   Speaking for myself, I would be more willing to financially co-mingle with someone "just for show" than to have a child.  (Not that I am going to do either one.)  Money is replaceable, and children are not.  Having a child with someone opens you up to custody disputes and painful and costly family drama if the relationship doesn't work out, in the same way that financial co-mingling opens you up to financial loss and financial disputes if the relationship doesn't work out.  Both are risks that genuine couples are more likely to take.

Of course it's always possible that one person is scamming the other, and willing to go through all kinds of motions to gain the visa/green card.  But the same could happen with financial co-mingling: sign the car payment, joint bank account, and then dump the USC once you have the GC.  Especially with a male beneficiary who would not have to go through pregnancy and birth in order to make their evidence more compelling.

Not saying any of this applies to OP.  I am not an immigration officer, but if I were I would look at pregnancy within a marriage as one piece of evidence that would ideally be accompanied by other evidence such as multiple visits.  Financial co-mingling is good evidence too, but tricky to do when both parties are living in different countries.

My husband got his ROC approved May 31st with no interview.  He has not filed for citizenship.  That's the most recent data I can give.

10 minutes ago, dawning said:

I think having children together is fairly good evidence, especially more than one child.  Some people say it doesn't mean anything, but I personally would much rather open a bank account with someone for a scam than have a child with them.  Money is replaceable, children are not.

However, ideally you would have financial co-mingling as well. 

 

I would think that evidence of your account in Costa Rica would be good evidence as you have been living there.  There hasn't been any reason or ability for you to financially co-mingle in the US, if I understand your situation correctly, but you did in CR because you were living there.

If it were me I would send evidence of your financial co-mingling in Costa Rica and a cover letter explaining that your lives were co-mingled in CR, and why you haven't started that process in the US until now. 

 

If you have photos together, in social and family contexts for the duration of your relationship, that to me is some kind of evidence as well.  If I were reviewing the file, I would be  think it unlikely that you spent 4 years generating photos before starting a scam filing.  Again, a cover letter might help to point out the context of those photos and how they show your relationship sustaining over those 4 years.

 

I applied for a marriage visa for my husband, and had no evidence of financial co-mingling as I was always visiting his home country rather than residing there, so I couldn't be on his financial documents as a non-resident.  I explained this with the evidence of bona fide relationship I sent.  After his visa was approved and he came to the US, it took us some time (a few month) to get bank accounts together, add him to my old account, and so on.  And we also live with family and don't have any rental agreements.  It also took time for him to get a driver's license, be added to the family insurance,  and other financial steps.  So when we went to remove conditions I sent the evidence I had, and just explained in the cover letter that the evidence reflected us slowly moving towards our financial goals as busy people, rather than any unwillingness to co-mingle.  We were approved without an RFE, but I had been saving evidence of co-mingling throughout the time we were waiting, in case we needed more evidence.  My advice is to read through the suggestions here, send as much as you can of what you DO have, and keep collecting evidence in case they want more down the road.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Forgot to mention our evidence also included birth certificates of 2 children, and photos of us together and with family and friends over the duration of time in the US.

20 hours ago, Tilde333 said:

That makes sense, but children are strong evidence too right? Otherwise I'll wait another week to submit until I can put him on my life insurance and get him health insurance and make a joint bank account.  Right now he has travel, bc this was supposed to be just travel. I am the beneficiary on his travel insurance, would that count?

I think having children together is fairly good evidence, especially more than one child.  Some people say it doesn't mean anything, but I personally would much rather open a bank account with someone for a scam than have a child with them.  Money is replaceable, children are not.

However, ideally you would have financial co-mingling as well. 

I would think that evidence of your account in Costa Rica would be good evidence as you have been living there.  There hasn't been any reason or ability for you to financially co-mingle in the US, if I understand your situation correctly, but you did in CR because you were living there.

If it were me I would send evidence of your financial co-mingling in Costa Rica and a cover letter explaining that your lives were co-mingled in CR, and why you haven't started that process in the US until now. 

If you have photos together, in social and family contexts for the duration of your relationship, that to me is some kind of evidence as well.  If I were reviewing the file, I would be  think it unlikely that you spent 4 years generating photos before starting a scam filing.  Again, a cover letter might help to point out the context of those photos and how they show your relationship sustaining over those 4 years.

I applied for a marriage visa for my husband, and had no evidence of financial co-mingling as I was always visiting his home country rather than residing there, so I couldn't be on his financial documents as a non-resident.  I explained this with the evidence of bona fide relationship I sent.  After his visa was approved and he came to the US, it took us some time (a few month) to get bank accounts together, add him to my old account, and so on.  And we also live with family and don't have any rental agreements.  It also took time for him to get a driver's license, be added to the family insurance,  and other financial steps.  So when we went to remove conditions I sent the evidence I had, and just explained in the cover letter that the evidence reflected us slowly moving towards our financial goals as busy people, rather than any unwillingness to co-mingle.  We were approved without an RFE, but I had been saving evidence of co-mingling throughout the time we were waiting, in case we needed more evidence.  My advice is to read through the suggestions here, send as much as you can of what you DO have, and keep collecting evidence in case they want more down the road.

Good luck!

For future reference, both for the op and anyone else that might be in a similar situation, an urgent care will treat many things that an ER treats for less cost.  If you don't have insurance but have a regular doctor that you pay cash, you might be able to get in to seem him or her in a pinch as well.  There do get to be fewer options on the weekends, though.

Speaking as a mom, I don't think you should have someone who doesn't like your kids, and is stressed out by them, taking care of them.  I imagine your husband wants you to stay home with the kids because he knew you would take great care of them, and it sounds like your mother might not.  If you don't feel she was a good mother to you, don't put her in charge of your children.

Do you want her to work because the household needs the money?  Because you want her to move towards being independent(and maybe move out)?  Because you think she will be happier?  I agree that having her pastor talk with her might be helpful.  Maybe he can facilitate a more respectful conversation between you two as well if that seems useful.

Good luck!

19 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

Don’t know specifics but hopefully 

you might want to check to see if there are later JetBlue flights available after the one you’re booked on in case you miss yours or see if you can extend the transit time. Don’t know specifics of how the partner airlines will work re: baggage but changing airlines you may need to factor in having to get your bags and drop them off at the JetBlue bag drop in T5 yourself.  Even if not, you’ll need to factor in time between terminals (not sure, 20-30 mins?) and going through security into T5 as well which again could be quick or slow depending on time of day etc - assuming you don’t have TSA pre-check?  Just deplaning/transfer between terminals/security into T5 could take an hour, leaving you an hour for immigration and customs formalities, which may or may not be enough.

7 hours ago, fluffyshiba said:

hmmm i don't think it's one airline since i'm flying with LOT then with JetBlue but the connection has been booked all together via travelocity, does that count?

edit: nevermind i just read on jetblue's site that LOT is jetblue's airline partner so i think it should be fine?

I think it should be ok in terms of a guaranteed connection, but you might call JetBlue and ask them.  Good luck!

If the connection is booked as part of one fare with one airline they are typically responsible to accommodate the passenger in the case of a missed connection due to not enough time for customs.  That could mean getting you on to a later flight to your destination or even providing lodging till the next day if there is no later flight.  It might be worth asking the airline what would happen if customs has long lines and you can't get through in time?

I don't really have an answer for the OP, but I did just want to point out in fairness that small-town Italian restaurants may not really have food very much like what she is used to in Italy.  Quality and authenticity of ethnic foods, especially popular ones like Italian, can vary a lot especially in a region there are not many people of that ethnicity living.

Good luck!

4 hours ago, Balamban said:

I'm no expert but if you say:  "earned $21k, but gross taxable income ended lower due to deductions"  I believe that the adjudicator will ignore anything but Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) line 37 on 1040.  Even there, what they want is W-2 amounts, for I think that is what they are likely to focus on.  Remember a person could gave W2 income of $2000 and a one-time capital gain from selling stock or property of $30,000.  In that case the AGI would say $32,000.  However, I think it likely that in reality, the $32,000 would be ignored and the focus would be on the W2 income alone.  By the same token a person could say: "I only had $15,000 AGI but I wrote off $15,000 in expenses while, in reality, that was much more than I really expended, as in the case of mileage deductions.  Well, a person will say that, but the adjudicator is not likely to agree.  (IMHO)

 

I assume you filed Schedule C.  There you may "feel" that you had 21,000 income but you had expenses including a "ripe" one of mileage.  This is a double-edged sword.  Such deductions can go into your pocket and escape taxes if you drive an inexpensive car,  (you can deduct 56 cents/mile and yet only spend 9 cents per mile) so that's a positive for you.  The negative is that fiduciary entities will ignore anything but the net of a schedule C, and even there, they will likely search for non-recurring amounts.  So I suggest you consider your income only to be the sum of W-2 income plus the Business income which is line 12 on 1040.  Then take that amount and be prepared for covering any deficit.

 

Ordinary logic says that if you wrote off, for instance, $6,000 in mileage expense for Instacart and you only really spent $1000 in gas and repairs that your that you have $5000 "extra income."  But no fiduciary will ever agree with that for they dance to a different form of logic. 

 

If your two prior 1040's look "good." I'd suggest that you include a copy of them.  If they look as good or better then the incident year the adjudicator might feel that you have "stability."  YMMV. 

Mileage is meant to cover more than the out of pocket expenses in any given year, because the miles driven lower the value of the vehicle.  That's why he doesn't really have $5,000 of extra income, because his car is worth less than it would be if he hadn't driven all those miles.  Although your point about some vehicles being cheaper than others is still valid.  It is entirely possible to work for Instacart in a car worth less than $5,000. But if the car should die after all those miles he would have to shell out for a new one before he could go back to working that job.

Have you tried with a congressperson or senator? 

On 4/13/2018 at 11:09 PM, technoman said:

Our Green Card is finally here! It arrived on Fri., April 6th and came in a small USPS Priority Mail envelope. The card says resident since 3/31/18 which must be the approval date. What a very long journey it has been! We'll apply for N-400 very soon. Good luck to the rest of you still waiting.

 

 

I don't think it's supposed to say that; you may need to get it corrected.  My understanding is that it should have the same "resident since" date as the previous GC, which is to say the date you first entered the US with your immigrant visa.  Hopefully someone will correct me if this is not correct. 

Good luck!

5 hours ago, Roel said:

If you think you have lower chances with women from US - then you're saying that foreigner women has lower standards or they are desperate to live in the US?

There might be a lot of other reasons he thinks this: for example, he might feel he is more compatible with foreign women, or has more shared values with them, or he may imagine they are less likely to seek divorce when things are difficult.  My guess is that neither is true across the board for all foreign women, but perhaps within certain cultural groups these things could be true.  Or maybe he thinks the characteristics he has to offer are more valued in other cultural groups, which again could be true in some cases.

Or it could be something else.

My answer to the original discussion: I don't know of statistical information on the relative divorce rates, but I do believe that cross cultural relationships present their own special set of challenges, and that perhaps there are quite few people that bring a fiancee or a spouse without being prepared mentally and emotionally for those difficulties.  Also fiancees and spouses that come without being prepared, and have on top of that the culture shock of acclimating to to a new culture in the outside world as well as at home.  But just like any other challenge it can be addressed if both parties are willing to work at it.