Divorce

[TBoneTX 43,481]

1 hour ago, Public Charge 101 said:

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. I will let his co sponsor know which is his cousin. I hurts and he knows that I love him. I did everything I could to make him happy. I left bills and my own needs aside to buy what he wanted just to make him feel comfortable here and all I got in return is a broken heart

Certainly it hurts.  And whatever you're feeling at any given moment is OK.  Take care of the divorce, then turn and look forward without looking back.  Take care of yourself.  There's a whole world of available, sincere, loving men who will value you and return your love, respect, and commitment.

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. I will do what I have to do and try to move on. Thank you all for your support you have no idea how much this means to me. May God bless you all

[SalishSea 16,945]

45 minutes ago, Public Charge 101 said:

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. I will do what I have to do and try to move on. Thank you all for your support you have no idea how much this means to me. May God bless you all

Please look after yourself and your family.   His behavior is not a reflection of you, it’s all him.   Sending hugs.

[JeanneAdil 6,276]

I am truly sorry he has hurt you 

I am sure your family is saying "u r lucky to find out before he took u for everything and ran u into debt"

U will get a lot of advice from family and friends /much of it will conflict  /  only when u find out u don't want to hear this will u understand u r finally able to handle things on your own 

 

Don't let someone who isn't worth your love make u forget how much u r worth   God bless u

 

OP

if u saw any red flags when u and he were together,  share them with others

U said he expected u to wait on him hand and foot  / In his home did the women do this?

Did he expect u to buy everything for him?  Or did u offer?

Did he need money sent while he was in his country ?

when u chatted was all the talk about immigration and his visa and when would it happen?

Did he cut the chats short as he had things to do?

Did u know if he used a fake ID for web sites?

How many dating sites did he use?

 

Many embassies put out a list of warnings about international marriages but there are things we see /  hear when talking to someone that just make us wonder

DOS red flags aren't the ones we see but i think, sincerely ,  that the COs in many embassies  have a pretty good idea as they see the cutture and they know if the person has a job and /or education to get one    They just see the person with experience and the head ruling as the heart is not in control

 

 

 

 

[Lil bear 3,862]

13 hours ago, Public Charge 101 said:

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. I will let his co sponsor know which is his cousin. I hurts and he knows that I love him. I did everything I could to make him happy. I left bills and my own needs aside to buy what he wanted just to make him feel comfortable here and all I got in return is a broken heart

Not your job to make anyone else happy. That’s his choice. I’m sorry he has made such self centered self focused choices. Your turn to choose now. And I choose you !! Despite the undesired outcome, you have navigated the black hole of USCIS.. wow!! You can do anything you put your hand to ! Go live your life!! There’s much more to come ! Good luck 

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. Thank you for the love and support you all have been giving me. He always told me that he had problems with the lights and the internet but he always found away to reach me if he could and I understood cause when I was there we did have problems with it. Everything seems normal but looking back there was a couple of times he told me that he lost or someone stole his phone. I sent him money once in awhile but it wasn't much since I was a single mom. 

[Amunah 61]

Do not beat yourself over this. You did what every honorable and loyal spouse did, and fought tooth and nail for this marriage and him coming over. Your manners when replying to others show what a wonderful person you are. Do not let this change you. As for him, something like this never goes unpunished, even if you personally do not want it on him, since you are too good for that. And too good for him, quite frankly. I wish you the best of luck and you’ll find it. No fear. 

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you Amumah I truly appreciate you 

[Mobius2 46]

Assuming he has a GC and not Citizenship, you could write up a detailed letter to USCIS about how he "used" you. If what you say is true, it will catch up to him to some degree during citizenship.

 

The evidence would need to be on point, void of hurt emotions, and need to contain material facts that violate laws which could point out how the marriage on his part was purely a means to an end. And don't lie about things as that is a punishable offense.

 

If you can't do so, "lick your wounds" and move on. It's a crazy time we live in, where not just in marriage but in many other aspects of life morality is non-existent.

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you Mobius2 I will do that thank you for your advice 

[Missthanger 22]

Hey , my husband meet your husband doing his medical exam  . I actually talked to him . He never mentioned a divorce . He was wanting some Gambian spices . I’m sorry you are going through this . He really sounds ungrateful. Has he even got a job ? My husband cooks and clean . He helps with that and always have . I’m not waiting on no one hand and foot . 

[Missthanger 22]

On 10/17/2023 at 8:36 PM, TBoneTX said:

Certainly it hurts.  And whatever you're feeling at any given moment is OK.  Take care of the divorce, then turn and look forward without looking back.  Take care of yourself.  There's a whole world of available, sincere, loving men who will value you and return your love, respect, and commitment.

His cousin is his sponsor . If it’s true he has somewhere to go is probably why . 

[Public Charge 101 10]

Yes his cousin is the co sponsor 

[Missthanger 22]

4 hours ago, Public Charge 101 said:

Yes his cousin is the co sponsor 

Yea , well let him go with his cousin then . Just don’t worry about tell him if he leaves you are responsible for him . You won’t be helping him . Men over there got be treated the same as they treat you . I did it with my husband he came to his senses he was out there having emotional affairs with women my last trip but I did was best for me also by getting me a male friend . I just do what people do to me .

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you so much for your advice I truly appreciate it. It's hard but I have to let him go