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How do you deal with the distance and time apart ?

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I know this is not specific to paper work, but since we are all in mostly the same position I am looking for some insight.

I am having a hard time with the distance and communication. Granted I see her once every 6-8 weeks for like 3-4 days, but the time inbetween is hard. For instance she works a lot and sometimes she does not check her e-mail and then it is sometimes to late at night to talk since one of us is sleeping. And she does not have internet at home, so cannot have anything fun like a webcam for communicating.

I guess my root question is, how do you deal not knowing what is going on in the other persons life and trying to be apart of it? I think the little details are important, but if we only talk every couple of days sometimes the details are left out. You know what I mean?

Thanks


07/09/07 - Sent I-129F packet to NSC

07/20/07 - NOA1 from CSC was received

07/20/07 - Touched

11/28/07 - NOA2 approved

12/18/07 - NVC forwarded forms

01/04/08 - 2nd Packet Mailed (to me not my fiancee ???)

05/13/08 - Interview - APPROVED (K1 - Visa)

07/24/08 - POE (Las Vegas)

07/27/08 - Getting Married

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Maybe you need to communicate to her what you've said here. Chances are she hasn't any idea how you feel. Is there any way she can obtain internet acess at home? Internet cafés? What about phone cards or an international long distance plan for calling? I had an international long distance plan on my cellphone so I could call my then fiancé while we were waiting. We didn't get to see each other as often as you do your fiancée and hearing his voice helped so much. Of course, the way we dealt with it was chatting every night and webcam "dates" on the weekends. I know that's not much help, but that's how we dealt with it in a nutshell. Things will get easier...the separation *IS* temporary. :)


Teaching is the essential profession...the one that makes ALL other professions possible - David Haselkorn

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We chat on the IM almost every night. That does help alot.


K-1 Visa Journey

03/10/2007 - Sent I-129F to NSC

06/05/2007 - Approved

06/25/2007 - NVC Case Number received

07/05/2007 - Fiance received Packets 3 and 4

09/06/2007 - INTERVIEW----- APPROVED

09/13/2007 - VISA IN HAND

09/14/2007 - POE AT JFK

10/26/2007 - Wedding

01/17/2008 - Email from CRIS that I-129 was approved!

AOS Journey

10/28/2007 - AOS mailed to Chicago via Federal Express

10/29/2007 - AOS received at Chicago

11/05/2007 - NOA for I-131, I-485, I-765

12/28/2007 - Biometrics

12/29/2007 - Case appeared on USCIS website

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01/10/2008 - AP Received in mail

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07/30/2008 -Card Production Ordered

08/11/2008 - GREEN CARD RECIEVED

04/30/2010 - ROC mailed to CA via USPS Express Mail

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04/24/2011 - Mailed N-400

05/12/2011 - Received I-797C

06/08/2011 - Biometrics

07/25/2011 - N-400 Interview

07/25/2011 - Oath Ceremony

MY HUSBAND IS A US CITIZEN!!!

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We talk a lot on the phone and online and we try and ind things wee can do "together" like play online games or work on our website together :)


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We chat a lot with Skype and we met playing an on-line game. Meeting in a virtual world is no substitute for real life but it helps.


17th March 2010 - Started the removal of conditions process

22nd March 2010 - Application received by CSC

30th April 2010 - Biometrics appointment

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we talk on the phone almost every day... that usually means I have to stay up late to catch him when he finishes work (I'm six hours ahead) but I usually don't mind that, and then occasionally on the weekends he'll stay up late or get up early to give me a break :)

we see each other online most days as well, and send emails or private messages... we text on and off throughout the day... send photos and stuff when we can

seeing each other every 6 - 8 weeks seems like bliss though, I've got to say! when my fiance comes over in September it will have been nine months since we last saw each other...


061017001as.thumb.jpg

The Very Secret Diary of Legolas Son of Weenus - by Cassandra Claire

Day One: Went to Council of Elrond. Was prettiest person there. Agreed to follow some tiny little man to Mordor to throw ring into volcano. Very important mission - gold ring so tacky.

Day Six: Far too dark in Mines of Moria to brush hair properly. Am very afraid I am developing a tangle.

Orcs so silly.

Still the prettiest.

Day 35: Boromir dead. Very messy death, most unnecessary. Did get kissed by Aragorn as he expired. Does a guy have to get shot full of arrows around here to get any action? Boromir definitely not prettier than me. Cannot understand it. Am feeling a pout coming on.

Frodo off to Mordor with Sam. Tiny little men caring about each other, rather cute really.

Am quite sure Gimli fancies me. So unfair. He is waist height, so can see advantages there, but chunky braids and big helmet most off-putting. Foresee dark times ahead, very dark times.

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We chat with cam almost every night. we play games also. i call on weekends and we text alot. we dont get to see each other every 6-8 weeks. i wish we did. even if we are tired or sleepy we make and effort to touch base.

Chris


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Gretchen montage

Davao July 07

our friendster

08/12/08 AOS sent

08/13/08 AOS received

08/15/08 NOA1 received EAD

08/15/08 NOA1 received AOS

08/19/08 Checks cashed

08/23/08 biometrics appt letter

09/09/08 biometrics

10/27/08 EAD approved

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Is "self-indulgence" a decent way to describe?? :blush:


22 Jun 05 - We met in a tiny bar in Williamsburg, Va. (spent all summer together)

27 May 06 - Sasha comes back for a 2nd glorious summer (spent 8 months apart)

01 Jan 07 - Jason travels to Moscow for 2 weeks with Sasha

27 May 07 - Jason again travels to Moscow for 2 weeks of perfection

14 July 07 - I-129F and all related documents sent to VSC

16 July 07 - I-129F delivered to VSC and signed for by P. Novak

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28 Nov 07 - NOA2 issued...TOUCHED!...then...APPROVED!!!

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26 Dec 07 - Jason visits Sasha in Russia for the 4th and final time of 2007 :)

22 Feb 08 - Moscow Interview! (APPROVED!!!)..Yay!

24 Mar 08 - Sasha and Jason reunite in the U.S. :)

31 May 08 - Married

29 Dec 08- Alexander is born

11 Jan 10 - AOS / AP / EAD package sent

19 Jan 10 - AOS NOA1 / AP NOA1 / EAD NOA1

08 Feb 10 - AOS case transferred to CSC

16 Mar 10 - AP received

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22 Mar 10 - GC received

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seeing each other every 6 - 8 weeks seems like bliss though, I've got to say! when my fiance comes over in September it will have been nine months since we last saw each other...

Wow - nine months?! My four seems like nothing to that! Although 6-8 weeks does sound quite nice!! Ah well - such is the price we pay for love!!


(¯`v´¯).•*¨`*•?.•´*.¸.•´*

.`*.¸.*´ ~Timeline~

¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)

(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•

10 Year GC Received 03/16/11 - Apply for Citizenship 01/28/12!

*´•.¸.*´•.?•*`.¸

(¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•? •

Updating our story and website @ Jeraly.com!

Ucavm8.png?5mOl2yoSa4X9m8.png?i1gWjM94

Join the VJ facebook group! • • • Live in Cali? Join the Brits in California facebook group!

August 2008 AOS Spreadsheet is here! • • • July 2007 K-1 Spreadsheet is here!

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yeah, it's ridiculous, isn't it? I was in the States for Thanksgiving last year, and back then we thought he'd make it over to London by May or June at the latest (he was supposed to be coming for work)... and then the work trip got put off and put off, and finally we just said this is ridiculous and made our own plans :)

I was supposed to be going over for Thanksgiving again but as I'll (hopefully, please and thank you USCIS *curtsies and tugs forelock*) be moving over permanently in the new year that got put off... we've both got to make it down to Aus in the meantime because my fiance hasn't even met any of my family yet! though they're bearing up well ;)


061017001as.thumb.jpg

The Very Secret Diary of Legolas Son of Weenus - by Cassandra Claire

Day One: Went to Council of Elrond. Was prettiest person there. Agreed to follow some tiny little man to Mordor to throw ring into volcano. Very important mission - gold ring so tacky.

Day Six: Far too dark in Mines of Moria to brush hair properly. Am very afraid I am developing a tangle.

Orcs so silly.

Still the prettiest.

Day 35: Boromir dead. Very messy death, most unnecessary. Did get kissed by Aragorn as he expired. Does a guy have to get shot full of arrows around here to get any action? Boromir definitely not prettier than me. Cannot understand it. Am feeling a pout coming on.

Frodo off to Mordor with Sam. Tiny little men caring about each other, rather cute really.

Am quite sure Gimli fancies me. So unfair. He is waist height, so can see advantages there, but chunky braids and big helmet most off-putting. Foresee dark times ahead, very dark times.

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Back when we were separated we used to call each other as often as we could (usually twice a week), we both took an international plan. We wrote emails to each other but also sent snail mail with pictures, post cards and little goodies.

Keep in mind that the first month when you are separated are the hardest in the way that the memories are fresh. After a while it's different, like it's still hard but you can kind of used to it. I think the hardest times are when you are not sure when you'll see each other next.

On the phone we used to share all kinds of moments, if I saw something special, tried something special I would tell him. He would tell me how his day went and what he wanted to do with me when I would be there. We shared our joys and pains and whatever random thoughts came to our mind.

I have to say that after being away from each other for 8 months it took some time to get back to our normal "together" self. You have to get used that the other one is real and not just in your thoughts, accept that you both changed a bit and all that...

Just share whatever you feel like sharing and make her a part of your life.

Good luck on your journey.


08.2006: Entered with a B-2 visa.

07.06.07: Civil Wedding

07.17.2008 AOS approved with interview. It took 367 Days!

11.08.08: Big family wedding

09.18.09-10.03.09: First trip to France with Hubby

I-751

04.19.10: Package sent to Vermont

04.21.10: Delivered in Vermont

04.22.10: NOA date

04.23.10: Check cashed

05.17.10: Received biometrics appointment letter

06.07.10: Biometrics Appointment

06.26.10: Touched

07.07.10: Card Production Ordered!

07.17.10: Card in the mail :) Done until citizenship

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I would love to be able to see her every 6-8 weeks. That is just such a luxury compared to my own situation.

We email, use web conference every week, send snail mail, send sms, and talk on the phone. We're both comfortable being together and being apart as well as being quite independent. I told her from the beginning there would not be a week that goes by where we would not communicate (barring extreme circumstances), however that still means 2-6 days at times without contact. She only has a cell phone with 500 total incoming minutes, so I use a calling card and measure our phone time to not go over the limit.

Some of my former US girlfriends were quite different. They required daily maintenance, sometimes several times a day. I found this to be too clingy and suffocating. It's like if you go visit friends alone and she calls you 1x an hour to check up on you.

I also found that the constant attention, getting mushy, professing your feelings and the rest was useless if you broke up and the relationship ended. It just all became empty and broken promises.

Also, when you don't talk for a few days there is more to talk about. If you talk daily you are just asking stuff like "How was your day?" "What did you do today?" and questions of this sort. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. If there is any major news I'll be in contact with her to update her.

If things go well, then sooner or later I will be with her and we'll be married and build a life together. At that point we'll be together 24/7, hopefully for a long, long, long time and be happy. I can wait for that and would rather spend my time focusing on myself and the relationship and making sure this is the correct decision for the both of us and to prepare as much as possible to ensure our life together will be a success.

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We emailed, msn'd and talked long-distance every single day..... usually a few times a day.... so I can understand how hard it must be for you to only speak to each other a few times a week.

All you can do is make the best of the times you do get to talk to each other, and count every day as one day closer to when you will be together for life.

Best wishes.


"THE SHORT STORY"

KURT & RAYMA (K-1 Visa)

Oct. 9/03... I-129F sent to NSC

June 10/04... K-1 Interview - APPROVED!!!!

July 31/04... Entered U.S.

Aug. 28/04... WEDDING DAY!!!!

Aug. 30/04... I-485, I-765 & I-131 sent to Seattle

Dec. 10/04... AOS Interview - APPROVED!!!!! (Passport stamped)

Sept. 9/06... I-751 sent to NSC

May 15/07... 10-Yr. PR Card arrives in the mail

Sept. 13/07... N-400 sent to NSC

Aug. 21/08... Interview - PASSED!!!!

Sept. 2/08... Oath Ceremony

Sept. 5/08... Sent in Voter Registration Card

Sept. 9/08... SSA office to change status to "U.S. citizen"

Oct. 8/08... Applied in person for U.S. Passport

Oct. 22/08... U.S. Passport received

DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!! DONE!!!

KAELY (K-2 Visa)

Apr. 6/05... DS-230, Part I faxed to Vancouver Consulate

May 26/05... K-2 Interview - APPROVED!!!!

Sept. 5/05... Entered U.S.

Sept. 7/05... I-485 & I-131 sent to CLB

Feb. 22/06... AOS Interview - APPROVED!!!!! (Passport NOT stamped)

Dec. 4/07... I-751 sent to NSC

May 23/08... 10-Yr. PR Card arrives in the mail

Mar. 22/11.... N-400 sent to AZ

June 27/11..... Interview - PASSED!!!

July 12/11..... Oath Ceremony

We're NOT lawyers.... just your average folks who had to find their own way!!!!! Anything we post here is simply our own opinions/suggestions/experiences and should not be taken as LAW!!!!

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We talk everyday for at least 10 minutes. We send a gazillion texts during the day and both of us are on facebook so we leave messages on there for each other as well. Besides e-mail we also snail mail each other cards, letters and little presents (no occassion necessary).


Mama to 2 beautiful boys (August 2011 and January 2015)

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Thank God for IM. We chat on there every day/night. She calls me one day and then I call her the next. Wish I could see her every 6 to 8 weeks. Consider yourself very lucky.


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I-129F

Petition mailed to Nebraska Service Center 06/04/2007

Petition received by CSC 06/19/2007...NOA1

I love my Siamese kitten...

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