Abusive spouse

[Blajje 7]

 

I’ve been suffering in abusive marriage now some time. It didn’t start from beginning. It’s been bad past year I would say.

My husband is threatening me and telling me I cant stay in a country if we are not together anymore. 
I have a 10 year greencard. Is there something he can still do to kick me out of the country? 
if this is a wrong forum please tell me where to go discuss about this. Thank you.

[African Zealot 1,455]

15 minutes ago, Blajje said:

I have a 10 year greencard. Is there something he can still do to kick me out of the country?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! You may want to move out, convince him he need to change or will lead him, and start living a separate life from him. Maybe once he realizes his power tripping has no legs to stand on, he will come back to his senses.

 

What you both need is marriage and relationship counseling to determine if the marriage is viable, nothing to do with immigration. I hope whatever the issue is, you both get it resolved and reach a happy place in your marriage.

 

Once again there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING he can do to “kick you out”. You’re neither a football 🏈 nor soccer ⚽️ ball to be kicked anywhere.

Edited February 10, 2022 by African Zealot

[Blajje 7]

48 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! You may want to move out, convince him he need to change or will lead him, and start living a separate life from him. Maybe once he realizes his power tripping has no legs to stand on, he will come back to his senses.

 

What you both need is marriage and relationship counseling to determine if the marriage is viable, nothing to do with immigration. I hope whatever the issue is, you both get it resolved and reach a happy place in your marriage.

 

Once again there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING he can do to “kick you out”. You’re neither a football 🏈 nor soccer ⚽️ ball to be kicked anywhere.

Thank you! 
he keeps saying he knows people from immigration and will do everything for not let me stay in the country. He treatened to beat me and make my life difficult. I am scared to take steps.

[Ontarkie 14,280]

~~Thread moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from AOS FAmily K1/K3~~

 

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you have any friends you can stay with?

 

 I do not agree with marriage counselling your situation is way past that.

 

Get somewhere safe, get a restraining order and talk to lawyer.

 

There is nothing at all he can do to your immigration status. 

Edited February 10, 2022 by Ontarkie

[R&OC 371]

I, unfortunately, agree with Ontarkie. For one, he can't do anything about your immigration status. However, in terms of keeping you safe, there are a few things you can/need to do:

 

1. Plan your exit strategy: Can you stay with someone? Do you have friends? Do you have the financial resources/employment to find an apartment for yourself and make the downpayment (for which you would need a credit history, or someone willing to give you a place to stay).

2. You guys are married. Is your home a joint property? Are you renting? If he threatens you again, call the police and have him removed plus retraining order.

3. You know what he is capable of and that should direct your options.

4. Secure important documents or copies of: Your passport, your greencard, pay stubs/W2, copies of your tax filings. If you have children, think of their documents (birth certificates, passports etc), too.

5. Depending on how much time you have to leave, set up a financial cushion to start a new life. Start having your own account if not already in place.

 

Depending on how violent he is, the art of deception is key until you are out and I would also advise you to not change patterns of your behavior until you are safe. 

 

I believe that threatening to use violence and intimidation is beyond fixable and marriage counselling.

[nastra30 2,288]

12 hours ago, Blajje said:

My husband is threatening me and telling me I cant stay in a country if we are not together anymore. 

This is a common threat being used against foreign spouses when marriage doesn't work/isn't working out; the threat of deportation. Don't fall for it; they are just scare tactics. It's not up to him to deport you; there's absolutely nothing he can do. You are a legal US resident at this point and you can naturalize as US Citizen after 5 years of green card status, and won't need him for that either.

Others have solid advice already.

Edited February 10, 2022 by nastra30

[Blajje 7]

9 hours ago, R&OC said:

I, unfortunately, agree with Ontarkie. For one, he can't do anything about your immigration status. However, in terms of keeping you safe, there are a few things you can/need to do:

 

1. Plan your exit strategy: Can you stay with someone? Do you have friends? Do you have the financial resources/employment to find an apartment for yourself and make the downpayment (for which you would need a credit history, or someone willing to give you a place to stay).

2. You guys are married. Is your home a joint property? Are you renting? If he threatens you again, call the police and have him removed plus retraining order.

3. You know what he is capable of and that should direct your options.

4. Secure important documents or copies of: Your passport, your greencard, pay stubs/W2, copies of your tax filings. If you have children, think of their documents (birth certificates, passports etc), too.

5. Depending on how much time you have to leave, set up a financial cushion to start a new life. Start having your own account if not already in place.

 

Depending on how violent he is, the art of deception is key until you are out and I would also advise you to not change patterns of your behavior until you are safe. 

 

I believe that threatening to use violence and intimidation is beyond fixable and marriage counselling.

Thank you so much! I will start planning.

[Sandra G. 5,051]

On 2/10/2022 at 12:58 AM, Blajje said:

Thank you! 
he keeps saying he knows people from immigration and will do everything for not let me stay in the country. He treatened to beat me and make my life difficult. I am scared to take steps.

Cut all ties with this man,  if you don't have a child with him, clearly he is dangerous.Change your phone number, if he knows where you live and he continues threatening you then file a restraining order against him. He can't "kick you out" ,don't worry about ok.Good luck.