Is my relationship with my Moroccan Man legit?

[JVal91 3]

1 hour ago, thisisnotnormal said:

My gut is telling me he was denied CR1 with the old wife and is now divorcing her to try someone else and if that is the case he is even more likely to be denied the second time around. Has he asked specifically what your income is?

Hello, He has never asked what my income is. The ex wife made the immigrant visa petition and it was approved. He received a letter by mail from the National Visa Center end of April 2020 saying they gave him instructions to complete the visa application but he didn’t contact NVC or submit anything in over a year (He sent me screenshots of this letter so I could help him understand what it meant). According to the divorce docs I saw, she applied for the divorce. This is what I know re: how far they got in their process. 

[JVal91 3]

2 hours ago, SteveInBostonI130 said:

@JVal91

 

Hello.

 

I've read your posts and responses.  I would advise you to treat this as a developing relationship first.  Don't think about immigration or marriage, until you have spent time with him and know he is the one.

 

During these times of isolation and instability, it is comforting to turn to an online relationship.  But these are unusual times and outside stresses skews our perspectives.  Would the relationship have gone the same if it was normal, when you could see others outside and spend more time with your friends and family?  Or you or your boyfriend could have traveled to meet by now?

 

There are some red flags, as others have pointed out.  All these red flags are non factors if talks and thoughts of immigration are off the table.  Just focus on the relationship.  If your boyfriend tries to steer back to immigration rather than enjoying your relationship...then you have an answer.  

Hello and thank you very much. We actually don’t talk about immigration often (not in awhile actually) just focusing on the relationship. I would want to meet him and his family a few times before committing to anything long term. 

[JVal91 3]

5 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

this is the reason  you have doubts in your own words

 

"We haven’t met yet because of COVID. He has tried searching a few times other ways to immigrate outside the marriage route. At about 4 months he was showing links of options that he found and one mentioned marrying a citizen.

 

He is obviously looking for a way to be in the US but this in itself is not a bad thing

you just have to find out if the reason he wants to be here is for you not a green card

 

good signs:

he did not mention he loved you immediately

he and you are about the same age

a Muslim man can marry Christain (a Muslim woman cannot for others to note)

you have not met yet so you have a long way to go and although he may say "all the right things"  some of the conversation can point out issues (address them immediately)

you both want kids (yeah for the interview in Casa)

you will have to do quality face time for a visa from Casa (long trips or several short ones)

do not make the mistake of marrying on the 1st trip

 

and sorry but don't listen to an ex spouse /  i see many and i mean many  USC's who divorce Moroccans for the simple reason the wait time for a visa can be long and they give up/ and of course there will be hard feelings on both sides after and you can't trust either side in a case of divorce

 

but if possible ,  check out any social media sites he has /  look for who he contacts and see if he shops for other women in multiple countries 

 

and the very best thing to do is pick a city like Marackech (beautiful tourist city) or Tangers (on the Mediterrean) and say causally to him

"I am so happy i met you .  I have always wanted to live in Morocco and tell him you have or are researching for a place to live now"

if he turns cold,  and talks less,  you have your answer

 

and talk to many of us who are married to Moroccans (10 years for me) and are happy as when its good its real good

any other questions ,  message me

@JeanneAdilHello and thank you so much for this. I viewed those you outlined as good signs as good things too. He has outright said along the lines of I want to move to you and be with you, and yes to have a better life but firstly to be with you. Of course people can say what they want but he’s certainly not hiding that he wants to come here. I would never even think of marrying on the first trip so no worries there. I have him on Facebook and Instagram and I have checked to see if he has other social media to check such things (I can’t find any others). He doesn’t have many Facebook friends (almost 40). On Instagram he was following some girls (a couple from the states and Canada, a few in Morocco, and a couple from Norway/Finland) before and while with me but (at least in the comments) he doesn’t seem to be shopping around. I did confront him about what his deal was following some of them and he kept saying it was nothing. He showed me a screenshot replying to one of the US followers I was his girlfriend after he posted something about me in his Instagram story (he’s quite private so this is not normal for him to post something in his personal life). 
I do think I will try mentioning moving there instead to see what he says and how he reacts. 
I truly appreciate your offer to ask questions and seeing a lovely positive outcome is so wonderful and I’m very happy for you. Thank you again! 

[imsan 41]

2 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

Interesting......OP, how far into the CR1 process were they with the previous marriage?  Anyone know if this is something that could be discoverable via FOIA?

FOIA does not disclose information about others. It just gives information about yourself. Speaking from experience.

[JVal91 3]

3 hours ago, Jorgedig said:

One thing about Jeanne's (our resident Morocco expert) reply that you may have missed, is that the need for multiple/long visits is also critically important for a visa approval in Casablanca.  Morocco is a high fraud/high risk country when it comes to US immigration, and so those who met and married on the first visit, or have spent little time together in person are often denied for suspicion of marriage fraud.

 

My best advice is to read, read, read the stories here on VJ.  While it is early days in your relationship, if it does eventually lead to immigration being a part of the scenario, it is vital to be as educated as possible about the steps and struggles involved.  One thing is for sure:  it will not be fast, or cheap.

 

 

Hi and thank you. Yes I would want to meet in person a few times before committing to anything long-term. Not sure if it makes a difference but he is from Rabat, not Casablanca. Truly appreciate your advice!!

[coforever 40]

14 minutes ago, JVal91 said:

@JeanneAdilHello and thank you so much for this. I viewed those you outlined as good signs as good things too. He has outright said along the lines of I want to move to you and be with you, and yes to have a better life but firstly to be with you. Of course people can say what they want but he’s certainly not hiding that he wants to come here. I would never even think of marrying on the first trip so no worries there. I have him on Facebook and Instagram and I have checked to see if he has other social media to check such things (I can’t find any others). He doesn’t have many Facebook friends (almost 40). On Instagram he was following some girls (a couple from the states and Canada, a few in Morocco, and a couple from Norway/Finland) before and while with me but (at least in the comments) he doesn’t seem to be shopping around. I did confront him about what his deal was following some of them and he kept saying it was nothing. He showed me a screenshot replying to one of the US followers I was his girlfriend after he posted something about me in his Instagram story (he’s quite private so this is not normal for him to post something in his personal life). 
I do think I will try mentioning moving there instead to see what he says and how he reacts. 
I truly appreciate your offer to ask questions and seeing a lovely positive outcome is so wonderful and I’m very happy for you. Thank you again! 

40 friends on Facebook....hmmm. that is just off for a guy his age. 

NVC letter april 2020 and him asking you to interprete

Any one can post anything on ig,anyone can use any name and put any picture and use it to send a reply and anyone can screenshot and send to anyone. Lol.. Sorry I am trying as much as possible not to be too direct...

Let me add, saying I love you 3 months doesn't really mean anything. It can be well planned.

Refraining from asking you for money still doesn't mean anything if the goal is to immigrate.

Sorry I am playing devils advocate. But I feel sad when I see people on VJ posting regrets both the USC and the immigrants. Because they rushed things. 

Finally the decision is yours. Trust your guts. Goodluck

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Did any VJ relationships there break down in that time period?  Maybe the ex is a VJer ? 

[Beth & Achraf 328]

16 hours ago, JVal91 said:

Hello,

I’m wondering if I can get an outsider perspective on whether my relationship is as real as I think/hope, please. 
A Moroccan man liked me on a dating site I’m on and reached out to me on Instagram in April 2020. He’s 27 and I’m 29. We started messaging and hit it off. We speak every day via text and audio calls, and video call often. He was married to an American lady (not sure how old she is) but before he did the visa application to go to the US she decided she wanted a divorce because her family/friends said he would leave when he arrived. He left his job at a government owned fitness club to be with her in the states and now is trying I make money as a self-employed private fitness trainer because it’s difficult to get a job there. They divorced a year before he knew me. He didn’t tell me he loved me until after 3 months of us talking. He’s Muslim but not very religious and I’m Catholic. We talked about our views on marriage and kids (we both want these). I said I would want my kids to be baptized, etc and he said he agreed with that. He’s never asked me for money. Very respectful and caring. He communicates with my mom on social media (after asking my permission/how I would feel about it). He even posted/told people on his social media I’m his girlfriend. His older brother is married to an Australian woman and lives with her in Australia with their 2 kids and he is apparently an atheist. We haven’t met yet because of COVID. He has tried searching a few times other ways to immigrate outside the marriage route. At about 4 months he was showing links of options that he found and one mentioned marrying a citizen. My response was there are other ways and if he were proposing to me at that time I would say no. He expressly said that’s not what he meant. He wasn’t angry or anything like that. We have been talking for over 7 months now. 
I’ve never been married, no kids. 
 

*Trying to give as much info as I can.*
I love him and I believe he loves me, and I do trust him but posts on the internet and comments from a couple of family members are really starting to get to me. Your honest perspective is really appreciated. Thank you for your time! 

When you can, meet in person, get to know him and his family especially.

 

Sounds like he really wants out of Morocco, I can understand that, but don't let him use you for life in the US.   Really, really take your time to get to know him, his family and friends.

 

Its so easy to lie and be easy going on a laptop, but a bit harder to hide it face to face.

 

Best wishes.

[Redheadguy03 505]

Definitely try talking to the ex if you can. I'm not an atheist, but you want to make sure that lines up with your belief system. Also, a government owned fitness place? That sounds odd, but different countries have different things, I'd do research on that if I were you. 

[Redheadguy03 505]

39 minutes ago, coforever said:

40 friends on Facebook....hmmm. that is just off for a guy his age. 

NVC letter april 2020 and him asking you to interprete

Any one can post anything on ig,anyone can use any name and put any picture and use it to send a reply and anyone can screenshot and send to anyone. Lol.. Sorry I am trying as much as possible not to be too direct...

Let me add, saying I love you 3 months doesn't really mean anything. It can be well planned.

Refraining from asking you for money still doesn't mean anything if the goal is to immigrate.

Sorry I am playing devils advocate. But I feel sad when I see people on VJ posting regrets both the USC and the immigrants. Because they rushed things. 

Finally the decision is yours. Trust your guts. Goodluck

I'm 36 and have like 140, that's not too many. My little sister doesn't even have one. So some people just don't like it, odd kind of, I don't know if I'd say it's a red flag though. 

[JVal91 3]

4 minutes ago, Redheadguy03 said:

Definitely try talking to the ex if you can. I'm not an atheist, but you want to make sure that lines up with your belief system. Also, a government owned fitness place? That sounds odd, but different countries have different things, I'd do research on that if I were you. 

Hi and thank you. Sorry for my misuse of words, I meant public fitness club as opposed to privately owned. I definitely would like to talk to her but really don’t want to mess things up in him getting docs he needs or I would have already. He is Muslim but not very religious, his brother who lives in Australia with his wife is an atheist. 

[Redheadguy03 505]

5 minutes ago, JVal91 said:

Hi and thank you. Sorry for my misuse of words, I meant public fitness club as opposed to privately owned. I definitely would like to talk to her but really don’t want to mess things up in him getting docs he needs or I would have already. He is Muslim but not very religious, his brother who lives in Australia with his wife is an atheist. 

Well are you Muslim? Sometimes they see things differently then the western world, so I'd ask about that as well. Make sure he isn't using you to get here. 

[JVal91 3]

51 minutes ago, coforever said:

40 friends on Facebook....hmmm. that is just off for a guy his age. 

NVC letter april 2020 and him asking you to interprete

Any one can post anything on ig,anyone can use any name and put any picture and use it to send a reply and anyone can screenshot and send to anyone. Lol.. Sorry I am trying as much as possible not to be too direct...

Let me add, saying I love you 3 months doesn't really mean anything. It can be well planned.

Refraining from asking you for money still doesn't mean anything if the goal is to immigrate.

Sorry I am playing devils advocate. But I feel sad when I see people on VJ posting regrets both the USC and the immigrants. Because they rushed things. 

Finally the decision is yours. Trust your guts. Goodluck

Hello and thank you. Don’t be sorry I appreciate all perspectives! And you’re right anyone can post anything on Instagram or send a screenshot so not some thing I can rely on by itself, but I also am not discounting it either. Can you please clarify what you meant by the NVC letter? Is it weird that he asked me to look at it? It was a letter basically saying if you’re still interested in immigrating please let us know. His case number, name and address were on it. He can read, write and speak in English well but he wanted to make sure he understood. He has a very close family friend from Morocco living in the US and checked about the letter with him as well.

[Ahmed&Freda 628]

16 hours ago, JVal91 said:

Hello,

I’m wondering if I can get an outsider perspective on whether my relationship is as real as I think/hope, please. 
A Moroccan man liked me on a dating site I’m on and reached out to me on Instagram in April 2020. He’s 27 and I’m 29. We started messaging and hit it off. We speak every day via text and audio calls, and video call often. He was married to an American lady (not sure how old she is) but before he did the visa application to go to the US she decided she wanted a divorce because her family/friends said he would leave when he arrived. He left his job at a government owned fitness club to be with her in the states and now is trying I make money as a self-employed private fitness trainer because it’s difficult to get a job there. They divorced a year before he knew me. He didn’t tell me he loved me until after 3 months of us talking. He’s Muslim but not very religious and I’m Catholic. We talked about our views on marriage and kids (we both want these). I said I would want my kids to be baptized, etc and he said he agreed with that. He’s never asked me for money. Very respectful and caring. He communicates with my mom on social media (after asking my permission/how I would feel about it). He even posted/told people on his social media I’m his girlfriend. His older brother is married to an Australian woman and lives with her in Australia with their 2 kids and he is apparently an atheist. We haven’t met yet because of COVID. He has tried searching a few times other ways to immigrate outside the marriage route. At about 4 months he was showing links of options that he found and one mentioned marrying a citizen. My response was there are other ways and if he were proposing to me at that time I would say no. He expressly said that’s not what he meant. He wasn’t angry or anything like that. We have been talking for over 7 months now. 
I’ve never been married, no kids. 
 

*Trying to give as much info as I can.*
I love him and I believe he loves me, and I do trust him but posts on the internet and comments from a couple of family members are really starting to get to me. Your honest perspective is really appreciated. Thank you for your time! 

A few concerns I have right off the bat:

 

"said I would want my kids to be baptized, etc and he said he agreed with that"  This is not a normal response coming from a Muslim man starting a family.   Please Please  even though you won't be converting study Islam to better understand him (even if he isn't very religious) children born from interfaith relationship are still usually expected to be raised Muslim.  Although it may be accepted in some families this is not normally accepted.  

 

"He has tried searching a few times other ways to immigrate outside the marriage route. "   Sounds like visa shopping..this comment makes me most concerned.  

 

Marrying someone outside your religion and culture is not easy.   It something it takes so much more time and energy that many are just not cut out for.   There are lots of sacrifices and comprises to be made.   Please think these things through thoroughly.  In addition to  along visa process the cultural clash can be very taxing.   I don't regret my decision one iota but have seen so many failed attempts along the way that I hate to see someone get involved in something they are not ready for.   Don't rush it.  Do you research.  

 

[JeanneAdil 6,242]

NVC is National visa Center and the 2nd stage of the process where the USC submits proof of income to support the immigrant and the immigrant supplies a criminal report (2 from Morocco as one is driving record) and other documents and some new forms filed by both with USC paying 2 more fees

at this stage when all are accepted and approved NVC contacts the embassy in Casa and they set up time for interview.

 

One thing you need to do is find out (if you go ever for a visa for him ) is did the USC ever cancel her petition to bring him to the USshe

and that is all i would ask her

too many USC's give up and divorce so talking and believing her,   i wouldn't / she can say anything out of spite to discredit him