Constantly living in spouses past?

[carmel34 3,507]

12 hours ago, Sarah&Facundo said:

My husband is the same, except now he has been in the US 19 months and it is still a struggle for him. These guys made HUGE commitments to us leaving their South American culture to come here for us.  We did go back to Argentina for Christmas, which was nice but it was tough for him to leave again. Make sure he is still talking to his family/friends back home. I work really hard to implement Argentinian traditions into our new life here together and I know he appreciates that we are keeping some of his culture here. He likes to teach me Spanish, so maybe your husband can teach you Portuguese if you don't already know it. Encourage him to cook traditional meals. We found a few Latin American markets which carried Argentinian products (and I've seen Brazilian products there as well). Just keep making sure his traditions are important, even if he is living in your world. It will get better with time...but I totally understand. 

Thanks for the wise words of advice!  We are doing most of this, I speak Portuguese pretty well after two years of learning, and he calls his friends and family all the time.  One of his good friends back home used to live in the USA and is encouraging him to be patient and things will get better, so that helps a lot.  Most of his friends and family are supportive but he feels bad about leaving his grandmother--he took care of her for many years.  We cook Brazilian food together, go to Catholic mass together, I'm doing everything I can to encourage him and thank him for moving here so that we can be together.  Things will improve a lot once he gets his driver's license and a job.  All the best in your journey! 

[Trese 174]

On 9/10/2019 at 11:16 AM, proudtobabritgirl said:

I already spoke to my husband about it and he just said, what did I expect? Peoples pasts are part of their lives. 

I do get that. But at the same time like, I don't think he appreciates or even acknowledges that I moved here for him. 

 

Well, what did he expect? You are a part of his life now. Does he get that? He uprooted you from your life back in the UK to be with him. And as such, he has the responsibility and obligation to take care of you not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

 

*hugs*

 

I hope things work our for you two.

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

Thanks for all your advice. I failed my driving test this morning, it's not been a very good week at all. But I'm trying to be positive, especially on days like today. 

[Rose711 35]

10 minutes ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for all your advice. I failed my driving test this morning, it's not been a very good week at all. But I'm trying to be positive, especially on days like today. 

Lots of people fail. Don’t get discouraged. Just try again.

[FilAm24 74]

50 minutes ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for all your advice. I failed my driving test this morning, it's not been a very good week at all. But I'm trying to be positive, especially on days like today. 

just stay positive no matter what..lot of people failed in driving test

 

godbless

[TBoneTX 42,990]

Repeat to yourself (even aloud), multiple times daily with increasing intensity, "Everything will be just fine."

This works.

[little immigrant 800]

On 9/11/2019 at 2:39 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for all your advice. I failed my driving test this morning, it's not been a very good week at all. But I'm trying to be positive, especially on days like today. 

I failed my first driving test in the US too. Did they schedule you for another one? 

[millefleur 5,034]

On 9/11/2019 at 1:39 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for all your advice. I failed my driving test this morning, it's not been a very good week at all. But I'm trying to be positive, especially on days like today. 

My husband, who is a super safe driver, failed his first driving test (a a private driving school nonetheless!). It's stupidly common here for people to fail the driving test the first time (especially if you're used to driving in another country), our driving laws can be really weird and unintuitive, don't take it personally. You'll probably pass the second time around. Don't give up.  

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

22 hours ago, little immigrant said:

I failed my first driving test in the US too. Did they schedule you for another one? 

Yes, the soonest they could get me in is mid October.