Sick from worry - help!

[Grobanfan 1]

Forst off, please dont judge me. Only I know my feelings. In this instance I'm desperate and can't find my specific situation online anywhere. Please tell me if my thread needs to be moved... I'll explain in simple terms.

 

1. Fell in love with a foreigner, got him here on fiance visa many many years ago. He cheated, we divorced. 

 

2. Fell in love with another foreigner many years later, did not plan that. Engaged, tried the same Visa, kept having issues and denials. Most likely because of my history with the first. Was going to keep trying but he was being pressured by his parents to marry a girl there, so he broke it off to honor them. Sad.

 

3. Fast forward to now, tried to date guys already permanent here but just didn't work out. Met yet another foreigner by dumb luck, now yes in love again, not planned. This one is real however. Like really real. Fate is a funny thing, funny how we met too, but why always a foreigner?

 

We thought long and hard about our feelings before saying anything. Long, hard, deep serious thinking, trust me. We were both hurt by our exes in the same manner. He wants me to move to his country which I'm considering but not seriously yet. He knew my past situations before expressing his feelings. I explained my past telling him I don't want to bring anyone here in my name because I'm afraid it will get denied because of my 2 past experiences. Despite that, he still wants me.

 

This is my chance to do love right. I'm not going to lose this one. But here's the catch: before he met me, he had been trying to win the visa lottery but always came up short each year. He never seriously thought about why he wants to come, then he met me.  

 

Was thinking of marrying in his country to make him mine in the eyes of God and our hearts. We can try spouse Visa but I'm scared. So if he keeps trying the lottery, how will our foreign marriage affect that? Scared and confused. 

 

 

[SalishSea 17,928]

18 minutes ago, Grobanfan said:

Forst off, please dont judge me. Only I know my feelings. In this instance I'm desperate and can't find my specific situation online anywhere. Please tell me if my thread needs to be moved... I'll explain in simple terms.

 

1. Fell in love with a foreigner, got him here on fiance visa many many years ago. He cheated, we divorced. 

 

2. Fell in love with another foreigner many years later, did not plan that. Engaged, tried the same Visa, kept having issues and denials. Most likely because of my history with the first. Was going to keep trying but he was being pressured by his parents to marry a girl there, so he broke it off to honor them. Sad.

 

3. Fast forward to now, tried to date guys already permanent here but just didn't work out. Met yet another foreigner by dumb luck, now yes in love again, not planned. This one is real however. Like really real. Fate is a funny thing, funny how we met too, but why always a foreigner?

 

We thought long and hard about our feelings before saying anything. Long, hard, deep serious thinking, trust me. We were both hurt by our exes in the same manner. He wants me to move to his country which I'm considering but not seriously yet. He knew my past situations before expressing his feelings. I explained my past telling him I don't want to bring anyone here in my name because I'm afraid it will get denied because of my 2 past experiences. Despite that, he still wants me.

 

This is my chance to do love right. I'm not going to lose this one. But here's the catch: before he met me, he had been trying to win the visa lottery but always came up short each year. He never seriously thought about why he wants to come, then he met me.  

 

Was thinking of marrying in his country to make him mine in the eyes of God and our hearts. We can try spouse Visa but I'm scared. So if he keeps trying the lottery, how will our foreign marriage affect that? Scared and confused. 

 

 

Not sure I understand the issue - you are scared and confused about the possibility of him winning the DV lottery before a spousal visa could be approved?  That is very unlikely.

 

Or if you are scared that he wouldn't be approved for a spousal visa because he has previously entered the DV lottery, that will not be the case.

[geowrian 22,337]

If you want to live in the US together, he either needs to get a visa on his own or via you. Via you is the more logical option in most cases. Yes, the past cases will be considered, but it is not a death sentance either. You just need to make sure you have very strong evidence of a bona fide marriage. This may mean spending lots (and lots) of time together.

 

His past entry in the DV lottery isn't an issue.

 

Have you considered moving to where he lives? That may be a quicker and simpler option.

[Grobanfan 1]

4 minutes ago, geowrian said:

If you want to live in the US together, he either needs to get a visa on his own or via you. Via you is the more logical option in most cases. Yes, the past cases will be considered, but it is not a death sentance either. You just need to make sure you have very strong evidence of a bona fide marriage. This may mean spending lots (and lots) of time together.

 

His past entry in the DV lottery isn't an issue.

 

Have you considered moving to where he lives? That may be a quicker and simpler option.

Thank you both for your replies... I just dont want to look like a criminal who brings foreigners here!! I have considered moving there, my dad was the only thing keeping me here and I said I'd leave at least this city when he's gone. He died last august. I actually like the thought of moving where he is, there are actually a good amount of Americans especially where he lives. However I just don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to him and I have nobody there. 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Grobanfan
Can't stand typos

[USS_Voyager 1,972]

Just now, Grobanfan said:

just dont want to look like a criminal who brings foreigners here!!

Sweetheart, you’re not even close. Just get married and file the I-130. Past cases can be looked at but you will get approval on this case by its own merits. There is no bar on how many times a US citizen can petition.

[Grobanfan 1]

9 minutes ago, USS_Voyager said:

Sweetheart, you’re not even close. Just get married and file the I-130. Past cases can be looked at but you will get approval on this case by its own merits. There is no bar on how many times a US citizen can petition.

😭 I needed this thank you so much. I know what it looks like from the outside but my heart has been crushed so many times, I'm so happy I can finally make it work with someone. 

[USS_Voyager 1,972]

39 minutes ago, Grobanfan said:

😭 I needed this thank you so much. I know what it looks like from the outside but my heart has been crushed so many times, I'm so happy I can finally make it work with someone. 

Oh come on, just follow your heart. 

And I was serious when I said not even close. You know who else also married three times and two of them were with foreigners? And they haven’t done anything to him yet.😉😉😂😂😀

Edited August 27, 2019 by USS_Voyager

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Entering the lottery has zero impact.

if he happens to get selected, it’s a much easier and cheaper route for him to get a green card than either a fiancé or spouse visa.

[Grobanfan 1]

7 hours ago, SusieQQQ said:

Entering the lottery has zero impact.

if he happens to get selected, it’s a much easier and cheaper route for him to get a green card than either a fiancé or spouse visa.

So essentially we could marry in his country and he can still keep applying for the lottery, correct? Then if that isn't working out, we can apply for K3 marriage Visa? 

[geowrian 22,337]

1 hour ago, Grobanfan said:

So essentially we could marry in his country and he can still keep applying for the lottery, correct? Then if that isn't working out, we can apply for K3 marriage Visa? 

Yes.

K-3 is obsolete. It's a CR-1 (or iR-1 if married 2+ years) for a spouse.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

2 hours ago, Grobanfan said:

So essentially we could marry in his country and he can still keep applying for the lottery, correct? Then if that isn't working out, we can apply for K3 marriage Visa? 

Yes (cr1). Lottery is only once a year so not sure how long you plan to “keep applying “ though. 

[kiwibean 49]

I have a friend whose husband married to get someone a greencard when he was very young (he was 18, it was in the 70s so a different time.  Still wrong though!).  Soon after that marriage was dissolved, he fell in love with a foreigner.  They got married, he sponsored her greencard.  It was a disaster of a marriage, and after trying for years they split.  Many years later he met my friend (also a foreigner) married her and sponsored her greencard.  They weren't worried about his history, because it was all that - history.  So as long as all this wasn't recent, I don't think you should have any problems.  Especially if you plan to marry and potentially live in his country for a while.  You have a genuine relationship, and can prove that.

[carmel34 3,639]

12 hours ago, Grobanfan said:

😭 I needed this thank you so much. I know what it looks like from the outside but my heart has been crushed so many times, I'm so happy I can finally make it work with someone. 

I agree, follow your heart.  If you haven't met this person that would be the first step.  Then lots of long discussions about where to live and how to make it work with all the government bureaucracies involved in cross-national romances and relationships.  Good luck!

[little immigrant 801]

13 hours ago, Grobanfan said:

Fell in love with another foreigner many years later, did not plan that. Engaged, tried the same Visa, kept having issues and denials. Most likely because of my history with the first

Hi there I just want to say he didn't get his k1 visa denied because of your history with the first. I don't know what country they were from but for some countries it's more difficult to obtain a k1. 

 

My suggestion is, get married and bring him here on the spousal visa. Depending on the country, make sure you have spent lots of time together. 

[Grobanfan 1]

1 hour ago, little immigrant said:

Hi there I just want to say he didn't get his k1 visa denied because of your history with the first. I don't know what country they were from but for some countries it's more difficult to obtain a k1. 

 

My suggestion is, get married and bring him here on the spousal visa. Depending on the country, make sure you have spent lots of time together. 

1. Pakistan 8 years ago

2. India 3 years ago

3. Now Egypt

 

My worry is him losing hope even though he says he won't. He seems strong and I trust him, but I also trusted my second who lost hope. (At the same time though he was being pressured by family tradition.) I'm sure my many visits will keep him strong and he can tie up loose ends in egypt while we wait. He's a smart and wise person and we're not young anymore so hopefully he remembers that. 

 

Meeting is happening in February, God willing.

 

Really wish I could control my thoughts.