kiwibean

It seems unnecessarily risky. Passports aren't backed up anymore - they're coming in about 2 weeks. Why not just wait and get it in hand first?

And I just wanted to emphasize that once you file to adjust from within the US he can't travel until the AP is approved. I don't know how long that is taking currently, but it's months and months. So if something happened to his parent in that time he'd be not able to leave (well, he could leave, he just couldn't come back again). You could also marry and not file any paperwork yet, if the sick parent is at a critical stage. You'd be married, and he'd be on his H-2B and nothing would change* (*I'd take others advice on this too - by marrying alone you shouldn't show immigration intent so should still be fine on the H2-B. I believe!)

My only comment is that the ceremonies can be LONG. Maybe they've shortened them post-covid, but all the ones I've been to took a long time to get done. Once you get through all the speeches and such, then you have to wait to get the actual certificate. It could be stressful for you if your toddler likes to be on the move. It's not like you can just get up and leave if your toddler wants to move around.

There's a chance he could get a B visitor's visa. I mean, maybe not a great one, but it's worth a try. Focus on what you can do to make that application tight. -what ties does he have to his home country? Job, family, rent/mortgage, that type of thing -has he traveled to other places and successfully come back (ie a history of obeying visa rules) This might be a long-term process, but love and immigration often are.

I think part of it depends on where you might be able to find a job. You can always start in one state and then move to another later on. I'd look for a lower cost of living, and a robust economy for whatever type of job you hope to have. I don't know what climate you're used to, but learning to live with snow when you've never seen it can be an adjustment (it was for me!)

Definitely health insurance/travel insurance. They're generally bundled together for a trip like this, and fairly cost effective. I don't think anyone should come on a visit to the US without health insurance. No matter how young or healthy you are, you never know what accidents might occur.

Me too! So many people seem to have this entitlement, that they "own" the spouses green card/visa because the spouse got it through marriage to them. Nope! The green card belongs to the immigrant and no longer has anything to do with the US citizen. Can you imagine how many bitter letters USCIS has to read every year?

When I finished university I came to visit my boyfriend for 3 months. I had no job, no ties to my country, really. No-one blinked an eye. It's only now I realize I was probably lucky to get in! But I came for three months, went back home again. I wanted to try it out and see if I'd be OK living in the US. There's a lot of privilege in being a white woman from a safe country like NZ/Australia. You might be surprised at what your privilege will get you, especially with the evidence that you are leaving again. Just be prepared to be stopped and potentially denied, I guess! (we later got married and moved to the US, all very legally)

There are also temporary work visas - think like camp counselor or ski lift operator. That would allow you to spend some time in the US and see what you think of living here. Here's an example: https://j1visa.state.gov/programs/camp-counselor

I was going to suggest temping too. It lets you get a good feel for the company (to decide if you really want to work there). Often companies hire temps into permanent jobs, as it is a way for them to try out the employee as well. Good luck! Looking for a job is soul destroying, so just remember what you are doing is hard and give yourself lots of grace.

I usually politely decline to give my SSN to medical providers. They used to use it as a identifier, but very few now do. It's not a good idea from an identity theft perspective. No one has insisted they need it, so I think you'll be fine (if you're worried about the SSN)

We lived in Colorado then.

It was hard! My husband and I weren't really prepared. He was using to living the single life, and I was used to having lots of friends, family and a job. I eventually got into volunteering, and through connections I made there I found a (completely unrelated) job for when my work permit did come through. I spent a fair amount of time bored out of my brain though. And I couldn't drive either - it was tough! I got really good at taking the bus places.