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Ive always disliked where I lived in England, so I figured once I'd moved I'd be absolutely fine. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's a massive change from what I'm used to living in southern California. 

I got a job in a movie theatre a week after moving here, because a family member is the manager. I figured I would be out of their within a couple of months, with a USA job reference in hand. It's been 9 months and I apply for jobs every single day and have only had one interview, which I didn't get the job. 

I figured I would get my driving licence quickly too, but I'm scared to drive here. I've practiced a few times but the cars and roads are huge here. I keep putting off my test and have lost my confidence with it now. 

One good thing is that I've just enrolled in a bachelor's degree program to become a teacher, so four years from now I'll be sorted. But until then, I'm pretty depressed. Some days I just want to go back to England because it's easier. It's familiar. I know I can drive and get a job. It's really put a downer on living here. 

Nothing really prepared me to feel this way! I've totally lost all of my independence.  

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Posted (edited)

Hi so what is the ID you're using now? Your passport? Your Green Card? I would at least finish the driving test even if you're not driving. Just to have the ID. Have you been driving in the UK?

 

Not sure what to advise about the job situation. That's how I felt in Germany and once I got here I found a job I loved pretty quickly whereas in Germany I looked for years and only got one interview. It was frustrating so I know how that feels. I'm sorry I'm not helpful with advice but I hope you'll feel better soon. 

Edited by little immigrant


 

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38 minutes ago, little immigrant said:

Hi so what is the ID you're using now? Your passport? Your Green Card? I would at least finish the driving test even if you're not driving. Just to have the ID. Have you been driving in the UK?

 

Not sure what to advise about the job situation. That's how I felt in Germany and once I got here I found a job I loved pretty quickly whereas in Germany I looked for years and only got one interview. It was frustrating so I know how that feels. I'm sorry I'm not helpful with advice but I hope you'll feel better soon. 

I just use my passport or green card as ID. I don't drink alcohol and I only have one bank account, so I don't need to use it much. 

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5 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

I've totally lost all of my independence.  

You'll feel better on July 4, amidst all us jubilant Colonists. :P 

Seriously, eat your seeming elephants a bite at a time, and before you know it, you'll think to yourself, "Wow!"


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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16 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

Ive always disliked where I lived in England, so I figured once I'd moved I'd be absolutely fine. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's a massive change from what I'm used to living in southern California. 

I got a job in a movie theatre a week after moving here, because a family member is the manager. I figured I would be out of their within a couple of months, with a USA job reference in hand. It's been 9 months and I apply for jobs every single day and have only had one interview, which I didn't get the job. 

I figured I would get my driving licence quickly too, but I'm scared to drive here. I've practiced a few times but the cars and roads are huge here. I keep putting off my test and have lost my confidence with it now. 

One good thing is that I've just enrolled in a bachelor's degree program to become a teacher, so four years from now I'll be sorted. But until then, I'm pretty depressed. Some days I just want to go back to England because it's easier. It's familiar. I know I can drive and get a job. It's really put a downer on living here. 

Nothing really prepared me to feel this way! I've totally lost all of my independence.  

With a near masters degree, vast amount of experience, and proper ID and work documents, my husband couldn't find a job for over a year. A big company called him in for multiple interviews and then dropped him. He was crushed, depressed, and at a low point and a local kid suggested that he could come work at the pizza place.. so he almost started to apply there. But then I suggested a part time job that was a bit out of the box for him but did draw upon his knowledge. He was well overqualified, but five months of waiting to hear something.. they gave him an interview. Again he heard nothing for months.. then out of the blue they called him apologizing and offered him the job. He worked there for six months, until he spied an opportunity for a full time job in another department doing something completely something new. Two years later he is now the boss of that department and makes more money than he ever would back in the UK.

 

In my experience something usually turns up when you need it the most, but not without a lot of effort to get there. It's important for you to set aside your fears and learn to drive, as it will give you independence and greater freedom. To me, watching my husband drive in the UK was maddening and scary with narrow roads, roundabouts, and cliffsides not for the faint of heart! He took driving in stride here, and he feels it is boring with all the automatics. There are a lot of issues that could be why no one else has offered you a job. What does your resume look like and is it up to US standards? What is the current economic and job prospects where you live (considering that not driving limits the area where you can look for work)? Remember a qualified American will likely fill your spot due to a variety of reasons - so you need to make yourself stand out from the rest. What skills do you bring to the table and how are you displaying them to a prospective employer?


K-1 - AOS & ROC Timeline  - Immigration and the Health Exchange Price of Love in the UK Thinking of Returning to UK?

 

First met: 12/31/04 - Engaged: 9/24/09
Filed I-129F: 10/4/14 - Packet received: 10/7/14
NOA 1 email + ARN assigned: 10/10/14 (hard copy 10/17/14)
Touched on website (fixed?): 12/9/14 - Poked USCIS: 4/1/15
NOA 2 email: 5/4/15 (hard copy 5/11/15)
Sent to NVC: 5/8/15 - NVC received + #'s assigned: 5/15/15 (estimated)
NVC sent: 5/19/15 - London received/ready: 5/26/15
Packet 3: 5/28/15 - Medical: 6/16/15
Poked London 7/1/15 - Packet 4: 7/2/15
Interview: 7/30/15 - Approved!
AP + Issued 8/3/15 - Visa in hand (depot): 8/6/15
POE: 8/27/15

Wedding: 9/30/15

Filed I-485, I-131, I-765: 11/7/15

Packet received: 11/9/15

NOA 1 txt/email: 11/15/15 - NOA 1 hardcopy: 11/19/15

Bio: 12/9/15

EAD + AP approved: 1/25/16 - EAD received: 2/1/16

RFE for USCIS inability to read vax instructions: 5/21/16 (no e-notification & not sent from local office!)

RFE response sent: 6/7/16 - RFE response received 6/9/16

AOS approved/card in production: 6/13/16  

NOA 2 hardcopy + card sent 6/17/16

Green Card received: 6/18/16

USCIS 120 day reminder notice: 2/22/18

Filed I-751: 5/2/18 - Packet received: 5/4/18

NOA 1:  5/29/18 (12 mo) 8/13/18 (18 mo)  - Bio: 6/27/18

Transferred: Potomac Service Center 3/26/19

Approved/New Card Produced status: 4/25/19 - NOA2 hardcopy 4/29/19

10yr Green Card Received: 5/2/19 - Error will need to file I90 >_<

 

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The job in the Cinema although fantastic to get your own money and get out of the house, might be holding you back now. 

 

I know when I didn't have a job I would check job sites every day, maybe send off 2 resumes or complete 2 applications a day. I said to myself if I haven't found a job relevant to where I worked in the UK that paid xxx salary in 6 months then I would take anything. I got super lucky and fell into a great job after 3 months. 

 

As far as driving, did you drive in the UK? If you did you should feel like a driving expert over here. After you rewire your brain a bit to drive on the right its a scoosh. I certainly dont miss massive roundabouts from the UK and I think the signposts for lanes are also clearer here in the US. Like some weird junctions in the UK I wouldn't know what lane I should be in until I was at the junction. 

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Each individual has a process; for some it takes longer and it is normal. 

 

Sometimes, building expectations has a negative impact as they don't match reality. 

 

You know yourself better, so depending on your personality, you can "pressure" yourself into feeling you belong or just give yourself time, embrace the longing and actually see at your hometown in a different light. 

 

Where in SoCal do you live? 

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7 hours ago, Allaboutwaiting said:

Each individual has a process; for some it takes longer and it is normal. 

 

Sometimes, building expectations has a negative impact as they don't match reality. 

 

You know yourself better, so depending on your personality, you can "pressure" yourself into feeling you belong or just give yourself time, embrace the longing and actually see at your hometown in a different light. 

 

Where in SoCal do you live? 

I live in lake Elsinore (almost halfway between LA and San Diego) 

Im trying to see things in a more positive light now and taking small steps at a time. 

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Thanks for the responses. I have now booked my behind the wheel test for September. I drove to work today, instead of my husband driving me (don't worry he was in the passenger seat)

I also started studying for a TESOL teaching certificate to teach kids English, which was recommended by a fellow student at my college. 

I'm taking small steps and I'm feeling better already.

Thanks guys! 

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8 hours ago, thatguyuknow said:

The job in the Cinema although fantastic to get your own money and get out of the house, might be holding you back now. 

 

I know when I didn't have a job I would check job sites every day, maybe send off 2 resumes or complete 2 applications a day. I said to myself if I haven't found a job relevant to where I worked in the UK that paid xxx salary in 6 months then I would take anything. I got super lucky and fell into a great job after 3 months. 

 

As far as driving, did you drive in the UK? If you did you should feel like a driving expert over here. After you rewire your brain a bit to drive on the right its a scoosh. I certainly dont miss massive roundabouts from the UK and I think the signposts for lanes are also clearer here in the US. Like some weird junctions in the UK I wouldn't know what lane I should be in until I was at the junction. 

Yes, I feel like it is holding me back. I'm reluctant to quit, just incase I don't get anything else though. 

Yes, I drove in the UK for 13 years! It's just going from way smaller roads, smaller cars and right hand of road, left side of car to massive roads, bigger cars, left hand drive and right side road. I'm so comfortable driving the other way! 

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9 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

I'm taking small steps and I'm feeling better already.

The elephant is being eaten a bite at a time.  Good for you!


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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On 8/4/2019 at 11:00 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for the responses. I have now booked my behind the wheel test for September. I drove to work today, instead of my husband driving me (don't worry he was in the passenger seat)

I also started studying for a TESOL teaching certificate to teach kids English, which was recommended by a fellow student at my college. 

I'm taking small steps and I'm feeling better already.

Thanks guys! 

If you end up liking teaching ESL, and after gaining some experience, you could apply to teach at a community college. That's what I do and it pays well :) You can start teaching with a BA + TESOL certificate, or with a BA + MA in TESOL. Send me a message if you'd like more information, I am not too far from Lake Elsinore either. Well, I'm not close lol but not too far.


J-1 212 Residency Requirement Waiver                                                                    Removal of Conditions

08/22/2016 Advisory opinion request                                                                      07/01/2019 Package sent (I-751)

09/30/2016 Finding letter sent *subject*                                                                 07/03/2019 Package received at Pheonix, AZ Lockbox

09/30/2016 Documents received by DOS                                                                07/10/2019 Text notification of Case received, WAC#

12/13/2016 NOS Letter received                                                                               07/12/2019 Received NOA, 18 month extension letter.

01/25/2017 Favorable Recommendation Sent

02/02/2017 Case received by USCIS

02/23/2017 Married!

05/17/2017 Approval notice received

 

Adjustment Of Status from J-1

05/08/2017 Package sent (I-130, I-485 and I-765)

05/11/2017 Package received at Chicago Lockbox

05/18/2017 NOA received with case numbers via mail

06/06/2017 Had biometrics appointment in Pomona, CA

08/07/2017 Sent an online service request on I-765

08/17/2017 Letter in the mail saying case still under review

08/23/2017 Scheduled for an interview

08/26/2017 Sent second SR on I-765

08/26/2017 EAD New Card is Being Produced

08/29/2017 EAD card was mailed to me

08/31/2017 EAD card received in the mail

09/25/2017  Interview at San Bernardino office/GC approved

09/25/2017 GC is being produced

09/28/2017 GC was mailed to me

09/30/2017 GC received in the mail

 

 

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