Moving blues!

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

Ive always disliked where I lived in England, so I figured once I'd moved I'd be absolutely fine. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's a massive change from what I'm used to living in southern California. 

I got a job in a movie theatre a week after moving here, because a family member is the manager. I figured I would be out of their within a couple of months, with a USA job reference in hand. It's been 9 months and I apply for jobs every single day and have only had one interview, which I didn't get the job. 

I figured I would get my driving licence quickly too, but I'm scared to drive here. I've practiced a few times but the cars and roads are huge here. I keep putting off my test and have lost my confidence with it now. 

One good thing is that I've just enrolled in a bachelor's degree program to become a teacher, so four years from now I'll be sorted. But until then, I'm pretty depressed. Some days I just want to go back to England because it's easier. It's familiar. I know I can drive and get a job. It's really put a downer on living here. 

Nothing really prepared me to feel this way! I've totally lost all of my independence.  

[little immigrant 800]

Hi so what is the ID you're using now? Your passport? Your Green Card? I would at least finish the driving test even if you're not driving. Just to have the ID. Have you been driving in the UK?

 

Not sure what to advise about the job situation. That's how I felt in Germany and once I got here I found a job I loved pretty quickly whereas in Germany I looked for years and only got one interview. It was frustrating so I know how that feels. I'm sorry I'm not helpful with advice but I hope you'll feel better soon. 

Edited August 1, 2019 by little immigrant

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

38 minutes ago, little immigrant said:

Hi so what is the ID you're using now? Your passport? Your Green Card? I would at least finish the driving test even if you're not driving. Just to have the ID. Have you been driving in the UK?

 

Not sure what to advise about the job situation. That's how I felt in Germany and once I got here I found a job I loved pretty quickly whereas in Germany I looked for years and only got one interview. It was frustrating so I know how that feels. I'm sorry I'm not helpful with advice but I hope you'll feel better soon. 

I just use my passport or green card as ID. I don't drink alcohol and I only have one bank account, so I don't need to use it much. 

[fip & jim 452]

I think the key for you feeling better is to get driving. I understand how you feel as I couldn't get a learner's permit until March and then I passed my test in June - so nearly a year after I moved here before I could be independent. It really knocked my confidence to be stuck at home and reliant on my husband so it took a lot to build myself up to take my test. On my test some guy behind me honked at me five times because I wouldn't turn on a red light, which really made my nerves bad but there was no way I was going to risk failing because some stranger was being impatient. I feel so much better now I can drive and I am building up to going further afield on my own. It takes time to feel comfortable and the only way through it is to push yourself. It is different here and it doesn't help to compare sometimes. 

 

Have you had feedback from your interviews? It's difficult to know why you're not getting past the interview stage if you haven't had any feedback. From my experience employers don't understand English qualifications, or they're unsure about employing an immigrant or they're thinking about how you will fit in. If your confidence is low then you may not be presenting your best version of yourself either. 

 

For now I'd work on building up your confidence so that you feel able to tackle more things that you find challenging. Remind yourself of what you have achieved and what you are capable of. It's an enormous challenge to emigrate. You're not failing if you haven't passed a driving test or got your ideal job by a certain point. It takes years to feel somewhat comfortable in a new country. It's good you've chosen a course to get qualifications here and have a goal.

 

I got a job a few weeks ago and I could view it as a step backwards as it's something I did 19 years ago and less than half the wage I could earn if I was in England. It's just a step for me and I accept that and it's working towards my long term goals. If you stick to your objective and take small steps to accomplishing your goals you'll get there eventually. It's normal to want to go back to what you're familiar with and seek comfort from that. If you keep harking back to your old life you won't be giving your new life a chance. Be patient with yourself. 

[TBoneTX 43,057]

5 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

I've totally lost all of my independence.  

You'll feel better on July 4, amidst all us jubilant Colonists.  

Seriously, eat your seeming elephants a bite at a time, and before you know it, you'll think to yourself, "Wow!"

[yuna628 9,528]

16 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

Ive always disliked where I lived in England, so I figured once I'd moved I'd be absolutely fine. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's a massive change from what I'm used to living in southern California. 

I got a job in a movie theatre a week after moving here, because a family member is the manager. I figured I would be out of their within a couple of months, with a USA job reference in hand. It's been 9 months and I apply for jobs every single day and have only had one interview, which I didn't get the job. 

I figured I would get my driving licence quickly too, but I'm scared to drive here. I've practiced a few times but the cars and roads are huge here. I keep putting off my test and have lost my confidence with it now. 

One good thing is that I've just enrolled in a bachelor's degree program to become a teacher, so four years from now I'll be sorted. But until then, I'm pretty depressed. Some days I just want to go back to England because it's easier. It's familiar. I know I can drive and get a job. It's really put a downer on living here. 

Nothing really prepared me to feel this way! I've totally lost all of my independence.  

With a near masters degree, vast amount of experience, and proper ID and work documents, my husband couldn't find a job for over a year. A big company called him in for multiple interviews and then dropped him. He was crushed, depressed, and at a low point and a local kid suggested that he could come work at the pizza place.. so he almost started to apply there. But then I suggested a part time job that was a bit out of the box for him but did draw upon his knowledge. He was well overqualified, but five months of waiting to hear something.. they gave him an interview. Again he heard nothing for months.. then out of the blue they called him apologizing and offered him the job. He worked there for six months, until he spied an opportunity for a full time job in another department doing something completely something new. Two years later he is now the boss of that department and makes more money than he ever would back in the UK.

 

In my experience something usually turns up when you need it the most, but not without a lot of effort to get there. It's important for you to set aside your fears and learn to drive, as it will give you independence and greater freedom. To me, watching my husband drive in the UK was maddening and scary with narrow roads, roundabouts, and cliffsides not for the faint of heart! He took driving in stride here, and he feels it is boring with all the automatics. There are a lot of issues that could be why no one else has offered you a job. What does your resume look like and is it up to US standards? What is the current economic and job prospects where you live (considering that not driving limits the area where you can look for work)? Remember a qualified American will likely fill your spot due to a variety of reasons - so you need to make yourself stand out from the rest. What skills do you bring to the table and how are you displaying them to a prospective employer?

[thatguyuknow 147]

The job in the Cinema although fantastic to get your own money and get out of the house, might be holding you back now. 

 

I know when I didn't have a job I would check job sites every day, maybe send off 2 resumes or complete 2 applications a day. I said to myself if I haven't found a job relevant to where I worked in the UK that paid xxx salary in 6 months then I would take anything. I got super lucky and fell into a great job after 3 months. 

 

As far as driving, did you drive in the UK? If you did you should feel like a driving expert over here. After you rewire your brain a bit to drive on the right its a scoosh. I certainly dont miss massive roundabouts from the UK and I think the signposts for lanes are also clearer here in the US. Like some weird junctions in the UK I wouldn't know what lane I should be in until I was at the junction. 

[Allaboutwaiting 2,500]

Each individual has a process; for some it takes longer and it is normal. 

 

Sometimes, building expectations has a negative impact as they don't match reality. 

 

You know yourself better, so depending on your personality, you can "pressure" yourself into feeling you belong or just give yourself time, embrace the longing and actually see at your hometown in a different light. 

 

Where in SoCal do you live? 

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

7 hours ago, Allaboutwaiting said:

Each individual has a process; for some it takes longer and it is normal. 

 

Sometimes, building expectations has a negative impact as they don't match reality. 

 

You know yourself better, so depending on your personality, you can "pressure" yourself into feeling you belong or just give yourself time, embrace the longing and actually see at your hometown in a different light. 

 

Where in SoCal do you live? 

I live in lake Elsinore (almost halfway between LA and San Diego) 

Im trying to see things in a more positive light now and taking small steps at a time. 

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

Thanks for the responses. I have now booked my behind the wheel test for September. I drove to work today, instead of my husband driving me (don't worry he was in the passenger seat)

I also started studying for a TESOL teaching certificate to teach kids English, which was recommended by a fellow student at my college. 

I'm taking small steps and I'm feeling better already.

Thanks guys! 

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

8 hours ago, thatguyuknow said:

The job in the Cinema although fantastic to get your own money and get out of the house, might be holding you back now. 

 

I know when I didn't have a job I would check job sites every day, maybe send off 2 resumes or complete 2 applications a day. I said to myself if I haven't found a job relevant to where I worked in the UK that paid xxx salary in 6 months then I would take anything. I got super lucky and fell into a great job after 3 months. 

 

As far as driving, did you drive in the UK? If you did you should feel like a driving expert over here. After you rewire your brain a bit to drive on the right its a scoosh. I certainly dont miss massive roundabouts from the UK and I think the signposts for lanes are also clearer here in the US. Like some weird junctions in the UK I wouldn't know what lane I should be in until I was at the junction. 

Yes, I feel like it is holding me back. I'm reluctant to quit, just incase I don't get anything else though. 

Yes, I drove in the UK for 13 years! It's just going from way smaller roads, smaller cars and right hand of road, left side of car to massive roads, bigger cars, left hand drive and right side road. I'm so comfortable driving the other way! 

[TBoneTX 43,057]

9 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

I'm taking small steps and I'm feeling better already.

The elephant is being eaten a bite at a time.  Good for you!

[cosmonauts 125]

On 8/4/2019 at 11:00 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

Thanks for the responses. I have now booked my behind the wheel test for September. I drove to work today, instead of my husband driving me (don't worry he was in the passenger seat)

I also started studying for a TESOL teaching certificate to teach kids English, which was recommended by a fellow student at my college. 

I'm taking small steps and I'm feeling better already.

Thanks guys! 

If you end up liking teaching ESL, and after gaining some experience, you could apply to teach at a community college. That's what I do and it pays well You can start teaching with a BA + TESOL certificate, or with a BA + MA in TESOL. Send me a message if you'd like more information, I am not too far from Lake Elsinore either. Well, I'm not close lol but not too far.

[theresaL 408]

I see this post is over a month old but I thought I would chime in here regarding the TESOL. A BA+TESOL certificate will only take you so far as most US Universities and Community Colleges require an MA. This is mostly due to the type of accreditation that the school has. An MA TESOL will open more doors as well as potentially increase the salary and flexibility in choosing an employer. Another advantage of an MA is when you are finished you will have a built in networking group from your fellow graduate students.

 

If you really want to be qualified to teach do a CELTA program along with MA. The CELTA is a practicum based program offered by the British Council and pairs very well with an MA, which tends to be more theory based. I have a BA in Speech/Theatre and BS French + TESOL Certificate and an MA in Second Language Acquisition (MASLA) with English focus. The school where I teach requires a Masters. If you decide to get an MA, most MA language programs require a minimum of 2 years of Foreign Language study or demonstrated proficiency in a Foreign Language.  I chose to do a second Bachelors because it was only another 12 hrs of course work.

 

The profession is currently undergoing a lot of flux, especially in Higher Ed, because of uncertainty in revenue streams and changing political/economic climates around the world. California may not see as much change as other states however due to the large populations of non-English speaking immigrants residing there. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.