AOS Pending...wanting Divorce.

[geowrian 22,335]

19 hours ago, kimme79 said:

I have explained this issue to her...but she claims that this marriage was done in good faith and that the USCIS should view that and at least let her stay in the country.  So now she is finding ways to remain..

She can search all she wants but the only viable path without your support is VAWA. And it sounds like she has no basis for success there.

 

19 hours ago, kimme79 said:

I have explained to her numerous times that unless she has EAD, she cannot work.  But she wanted a job on the side to get some money in.

So she knowingly wanted to violate immigration laws already.

This definitely sounds planned IMO.

 

19 hours ago, kimme79 said:

I have been documenting since last night.  More to follow.

Awesome 👍

[masole95 28]

19 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

so you just got married and now you want a divorce?

 

1- sounds like all she wants is a greencard

2- you can not participate in the rest of AOS process and she will not GET a greencard. she can not adjust under anyone else. She will be out of status and required to leave. You should also send a letter to USCIS revoking your affidavit of support.

3-VAWA has to be PROVEN, it can not just be her making claims with no evidence. You saying she can not work ILLEGALLY (Since she has no EAD) is not abuse, it is following the LAW.

 

 

Agree! just like that

[The_Empyrean 733]

Don't let her back inside without anyone else present in the house. Once she realizes that she has no other option but you, or being illegal, she'll do anything to come back and claim abuse and file VAWA. Do NOT allow her to stay alone with you under any circumstances. Have a lawyer present or someone close. File for divorce ASAP, pull the AoS and i-864 and let her "search" herself.

I repeat DO NOT stay alone with her.

Also, make sure that she doesn't have access to your bank account, as she'll drain it quickly. 

Best of luck to You. Stay strong. Now it's your turn to be the center. You're the victim here, not her, don't blame yourself and don't try to make excuses for her. That was her plan all along. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by The_Empyrean

[geowrian 22,335]

2 minutes ago, The_Empyrean said:

Don't let her back inside without anyone else present in the house. Once she realizes that she has no other option but you, or being illegal, she'll do anything to come back and claim abuse and file VAWA. Do NOT allow her to stay alone with you under any circumstances. Have a lawyer present or someone close. File for divorce ASAP, pull the AoS and i-864 and let her "search" herself.

I repeat DO NOT stay alone. 

Also, make sure that she doesn't have access to your bank account, as she'll drain it quickly.

He cannot deny her entry to her residence. You can't just kick a spouse out of the house. That would be considered as part of any abuse claim, and be documented if she were to call the cops as a result.

Minimizing time alone and avoiding staying alone is optimal.  Filing for divorce ASAP is optimal as well.

[The_Empyrean 733]

3 minutes ago, geowrian said:

He cannot deny her entry to her residence. You can't just kick a spouse out of the house. That would be considered as part of any abuse claim, and be documented if she were to call the cops as a result.

Minimizing time alone and avoiding staying alone is optimal.  Filing for divorce ASAP is optimal as well.

True that. Having a family member/friend crashing on a couch could help a bit as well. 
Best probably is to find a temp place to live while the divorce is pending i guess.

[kimme79 42]

1 hour ago, Amadia said:

She wants to divorce right after getting married in the US on a fiance visa....mere 3mths after the wedding took place? Doesn't that seem fishy to you?

In any event, sounds like she just wanted to place feet on US soil and used you to do so....this can be deemed as immigration fraud on her part.

 

Retract any docs you have sent forth (if it can be retracted) and let her handle things on her own (selfish, I know) but you spent time and money to have her now come and say that you are toxic? I don't know your personality but she should have seen the "toxicity" before committing to marriage.

I am working on that letter now for USCIS.  I am military and it should be expedited.

 

Regarding the toxicity....she texted me those things I have them on file to show the judge...that was on May 14 or 19.  I have to look at the time stamp again.

[kimme79 42]

14 minutes ago, The_Empyrean said:

Don't let her back inside without anyone else present in the house. Once she realizes that she has no other option but you, or being illegal, she'll do anything to come back and claim abuse and file VAWA. Do NOT allow her to stay alone with you under any circumstances. Have a lawyer present or someone close. File for divorce ASAP, pull the AoS and i-864 and let her "search" herself.

I repeat DO NOT stay alone with her.

Also, make sure that she doesn't have access to your bank account, as she'll drain it quickly. 

Best of luck to You. Stay strong. Now it's your turn to be the center. You're the victim here, not her, don't blame yourself and don't try to make excuses for her. That was her plan all along. 

I am a genuinely in a wreck.  You guys are giving me the right advise I know.  But this is someone I love and I did a lot for her to get to this country to turn out this way.  She holds a lot of resentment and tells me she was never happy with me from the second week she got into the states.  I gave her passport and ID cards last night.  I never placed her name on the lease and she moved out.  I don't think she Is going to try to move back in at any reason.

[kimme79 42]

10 minutes ago, geowrian said:

He cannot deny her entry to her residence. You can't just kick a spouse out of the house. That would be considered as part of any abuse claim, and be documented if she were to call the cops as a result.

Minimizing time alone and avoiding staying alone is optimal.  Filing for divorce ASAP is optimal as well.

I did not kick her out.  She left on her own...I even helped her fold her clothes into the luggage.  I had witnesses present the entire time.  Even before she walked out the door I told her to please not go.  In front of everyone.

[The_Empyrean 733]

1 minute ago, kimme79 said:

I am a genuinely in a wreck.  You guys are giving me the right advise I know.  But this is someone I love and I did a lot for her to get to this country to turn out this way.  She holds a lot of resentment and tells me she was never happy with me from the second week she got into the states.  I gave her passport and ID cards last night.  I never placed her name on the lease and she moved out.  I don't think she Is going to try to move back in at any reason.

Yeah man it sucks. Well, atleast she was honest. I had to deal with cheating years ago, until her friend couldn't take it and told me. so there's that. I was blaming myself, then everyone else, then distance, then i figured that it's her, not me, and moved on. 2 Weeks later met my current wife. Nothing you can do about that. You worked and helped her, and she threw you under the bus, there will be another person in your life eventually. Someone grateful and respectful. Don't beat yourself for her mistakes. 
Get your head straight now, ask your friends to come over, have a beer, watch NBA or something, distance your thoughts for a bit, regroup, and move on. (but get the divorce and pull AoS asap though.)

[masole95 28]

56 minutes ago, kimme79 said:

I am a genuinely in a wreck.  You guys are giving me the right advise I know.  But this is someone I love and I did a lot for her to get to this country to turn out this way.  She holds a lot of resentment and tells me she was never happy with me from the second week she got into the states.  I gave her passport and ID cards last night.  I never placed her name on the lease and she moved out.  I don't think she Is going to try to move back in at any reason.

Of course it must be hard, but tbh with you, life gives us these kinds of tests, if she ever lied to you the only thing you can do now is Learn, dont let anyone make you feel less, love doesnt do that, yes you helped her somehow but love is grateful not selfish, love needs to be demonstrated and most of all it must exist in both persons of the relationship, from now it is all up to you, believe me, sometimes we feel like we're stuck in a bad situation, but the grass is always greener on the other side, dont force things to happen, that is not how it is supposed to be, try to collect any evidence, dont have conversations alone with her and for sure dont stay alone with her, look around at friends and family that love you, and use that as fuel so you can go on. I pray for you to recover from this fast, and im sure one day you will remember this as a very good lesson. Good luck my friend. 

[TBoneTX 43,042]

This is hard, brother.  Muster your military discipline as you do what needs to be done, then have a plan to do things that make you feel better.  No substance overindulgence, preferably (keep your brain and wits alert at all times), but pleasant activities, violent physical exercise, etc.

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

1 hour ago, kimme79 said:

I did not kick her out.  She left on her own...I even helped her fold her clothes into the luggage.  I had witnesses present the entire time.  Even before she walked out the door I told her to please not go.  In front of everyone.

Hey man if you someone to talk to I am here on base working at the NEC if you need some local advice. 

[kimme79 42]

2 minutes ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

Hey man if you someone to talk to I am here on base working at the NEC if you need some local advice. 

Yes I definetly do.  Check your PM

[EllisAndRenz 193]

22 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

so you just got married and now you want a divorce?

 

1- sounds like all she wants is a greencard

2- you can not participate in the rest of AOS process and she will not GET a greencard. she can not adjust under anyone else. She will be out of status and required to leave. You should also send a letter to USCIS revoking your affidavit of support.

3-VAWA has to be PROVEN, it can not just be her making claims with no evidence. You saying she can not work ILLEGALLY (Since she has no EAD) is not abuse, it is following the LAW.

 

 

this

[Tinman71 42]

Do you have a friend you can crash on thier couch. Or multiple friends, couch surfing sucks but get out now cancel everything with uscis now. N.C has a one year separation rule before divorce  but there may be a way around it seeing the marriage was only two months. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by Tinman71