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Man, things sure are different here. and its sad!

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I Opened this site for the first time in years to write a post, offering advice based on some experiences i have had in the last few years. I was sidetracked :) when i opened the site and began reading several posts. I quickly realized if i did post soemthing it will be assumed i am talking about the same person i referred to in posts from years ago, and most likely the advice I was intending to give would be de-railed into a explanation of irrelevant comments or questions having NOTHING to do with my actual post. How sad. 

People here when i last posted a question, really tried to give genuine advise. Many comments i read today were hateful, and rude. Even more were Judgmental and/or insulting. 

You "old timers" look into past posts to "ascertain the entire story". They may be relevant, or they may not. But everyone assumes they are all linked and it becomes a beat down instead of a helping hand. 

Folks, I submit 99% of new members join this site to receive advice and help. Dont beat them down with insults. Even bad or negative information can be given in a considerate manner. 

I also see many people that offer NO ADVICE about the actual original question, but only critique the person that wrote it. Does that make you feel somehow superior to be-little another that is not as "good" as you? 

Many times i see advice or opinion is given that is completely wrong. That is not factual or worse, 100% contrary to law, as it relates to a particular type of immigration topic. To be clear i am NOT a lawyer and dont profess to know all the subtleties of the law. I have however read much of the actual law, as its written in the code, to have a better understanding of it. Most recently In particular  Sec. 212. [8 U.S.C. 1182] , in case you were curious. 

The thing that most surprised me however was the fact that this site has now taken away my constitutional freedom of speech rights. Thats right folks. I read this on several posts. 
"this thread is locked and is not to be reopened or referred to elsewhere."  Not to be referred to anywhere else????  Really??? I cant even mention it ??   Is it not a violation of my freedom of speech rights, to tell me what i can, or cant talk about. And was that in itself a referral to one of those topics, making me subject to some sort of punishment??

While i am very curious how this post will be received i am not too hopeful honestly. Stop and remember a time when you yourself were worried, hopeful, concerned, excited, and even fearful of the unknown future.  We here can be kind and honest at the same time. Giving truthful and hopefully helpful advice even if such advice is contrary to what the OP wanted to hear. 

If you were offended by this,. I can only ask you take a minute to think about what i have written before you reply. 


My 2 cents. 

Edited by josandme

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I'm not offended by your post at all, just a little confused as some of it seems hard to understand without proper context. For example, which threads were locked and not to be reopened that you thought were unfair? I personally feel the mods do a really good job keeping things from getting out of hand.


I'm not an old timer but I feel that, you're right, sometimes people here can be a little sandpapery in their responses and not very sympathetic to the newbies just stepping in to the confusing quicksand that is US immigration. So I agree with you about this. I'm still (fairly) newish to the whole immigration shebang, not a seasoned K-1'er but a mid-level pre-ROC'er and I myself am still learning so I like to remember that a lot of people are still overwhelmed and confused by things and there's no such thing as a dumb question.


In terms of bad advice, I've come across it before too but it's usually corrected by other users. I don't think a lot of the folks giving bad advice even mean to come across as condescending, they just might have misunderstood or feel that because it worked for them that it will be the same for others.


Based on what you wrote, seems like overall you'd be a great contributor here! ☺️ I don't know how the site was back in the day, but it is true that there are a lot of "drama" threads that get super derailed and off topic. I usually try to stay out of those unless I can contribute objectively.

Edited by millefleur


 🇷🇺  ♥  CR-1 via DCF in Moscow (2016-2017) 🇺🇸  Read about my DCF experience here and here.


26-Jul-2016: Married abroad 👩‍❤️‍👨
21-Dec-2016: I-130 filed at Embassy
29-Dec-2016: I-130 approved! Yay! 🎊

17-Jan-2017: Case number received

21-Mar-2017: Medical Exam completed

24-Mar-2017: Interview - approved! 🎉

29-Mar-2017: CR-1 Visa received (via mail)

02-Apr-2017: USCIS Immigrant (GC) Fee paid

28-Jun-2017: Port of Entry @ PDX 🛩️

21-Jul-2017: No SSN after three weeks; applied in person at the SSA

22-Jul-2017: GC arrived in the mail 📬

31-Jul-2017: SSN arrived via mail, hurrah!


I-90 GC Replacment (for Erroneous GC)

22-Jul-2017: GC arrives in the mail – middle name is cut off 😕

01-Aug-2017: Sent in I-90 online via website

05-Aug-2017: Biometrics scheduled

23-Aug-2017: Biometrics done @ USCIS office; told to keep GC!

16-Jul-2018: RFE for original card!! 🤬

31-Jul-2018: USCIS Appointment at local field office..

22-Aug-2018: Mailed GC back to USCIS in response to RFE

29-Aug-2018: GC received by USCIS

17-Sept-2018: Received CORRECTED GC in the mail! Finally!! 😂


📑 I-751 Removal of Conditions (2019-???) 📝


28-Jun-2019: Conditional GC expires

30-Mar-2019: Eligible to apply for ROC

??-???-2019: TBA...



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@TBoneTX, wish I could format my response to you as purdy as was yours to me.. lol

7 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Why do you assume this? Because I witnessed it with my own eyes. and more than once I might add. people came with questions and the thread as  side railed with the op trying to explain it was not the same person he had questions about before. There was one in particular I wish I could remember so I could to give here as evidence.

If any post violates the Terms of Service, hit the "report post" button and explain.

Sometimes this is necessary when a story seems familiar (the poster is reviving a different thread from earlier) or a poster won't provide details necessary to give meaningful advice (which is like pulling teeth for pages on end).

As I stated, it may be relevant and it may not. 

This is an assumption in itself.

Point taken. But I maintain my original comment. I have seen it many times over many different threads. 

Absolutely agreed.  A pervasive challenge is when questioners refuse to accept what they don't want to hear.  Things go downhill in a hurry after that.

If a comment is noncontributory or violates a provision of the Terms of Service, report it.  (Note: do NOT over-report.)

The Terms of Service govern the speech on this site, and every member's use of this site is contingent upon having agreed, when they signed up, to abide by the TOS. 

This is not the issue for the purpose of this discussion. (continued below)

Threads that violate the TOS or that have degenerated to an unproductive stage sometimes have to be closed.  The topic is not to be reopened, nor is the OP or any participant in the thread to be referred to derisively or in derogatory fashion in other threads.  This last is called "transporting drama," which is not permitted.

I completely understand and agree some topics reach a point where they should be closed. and a warning to not re-open them is justified. But Read again what I wrote.... To tell me simply that I cant again Mention that thread elsewhere is a violation of freedom of speech. If the closure said as you stated above I would understand and agree with not referring to it, or them, in a derogatory manner

It's moved from Off Topic to the Site Discussion forum, to be among relevant threads.


Most members here persist in that aim.  Those who don't will typically run afoul of the TOS or otherwise wash out.

Nope!  A worthwhile 2 cents. :) 



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7 hours ago, millefleur said:

im not offended by your post at all, just a little confused as some of it seems hard to understand without proper context. For example, which threads were locked and not to be reopened that you thought were unfair? I personally feel the mods do a really good job keeping things from getting out of hand.

Read again exactly what I wrote. I never said closing a topic was unfair. 


As for the rest of your comment, thanks for the input. :)  And what you said is EXACTLY what I was referring to as should be done. If the purpose of a comment is only to attack the OP then to simply refrain from commenting would be best. 

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14 hours ago, josandme said:

wish I could format my response to you as purdy as was yours to me

Rather than quoting an entire post, highlight the sentence of your choice.

Hit the "quote selection" pop-up box.

Quoted sentence appears in your reply message.  Comment underneath it.  Repeat the procedure.  Pretty cool.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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1 hour ago, Going through said:

Not everyone is going to get along in a forum this size, and not everyone is going to view how someone says something the same way.   What one may see as rude, another will see it as straightforward. 

^^^THIS^^   I see this often.......

"Experience can be a tough teacher to those who fail to heed good advice"- Missileman, 12/6/18

"Only a fool would fail to heed the advice of someone who has walked in his shoes"- Missileman, 2/8/19

"What I am to be, I am NOW becoming"- Benjamin Franklin

First career- 20 year Retired E-8, USAF Missileer,

Second career-Retired Registered Nurse, experience in Labor& Delivery, Home Health, Adolescent & Adult Psych

Third career-Retired IT Developer & Database Administrator for surgical services dept.


Immigration Journey:

  • Texas Service Center after transfer from Nebraska
  • Consulate :Taipei, Taiwan
  • Marriage: 7/30/2015
  • I-130 NOA1 : 4/27/2016
  • I-130 Approved :9/8/2016
  • Case received at NVC: 10/11/2016                               
  • Case # and IIN#: 10/24/2016
  • AOS Fee Invoiced:10/24/2016  
  • AOS Fee Paid:10/25/2016
  • IV Fee Invoiced:10/24/2016  
  • IV Fee Paid:10/25/2016
  • DS-260 Completed: 10/28/16
  • Scan Date:11/9/2016
  • Supervisor review: 12/21/16 
  • Checklist: 1/13/17 
  • Case Complete: 4/10/17
  • Interview Date: 5/8/17 
  • Visa  "ISSUED": 5/10/17
  • Visa and Passport in hand/Flight to USA Booked!!!: 5/12/17  
  • POE Dallas DFW on June 22, 2017
  • SS Card received : 7/3/2017
  • 2-year Green Card received in mail: 7/15/17

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