NEWBIE asking for daughter and her fiancee pls be gentle!

[Lemonslice 4,583]

On 1/11/2019 at 5:21 PM, Shiran said:

I really think daughter and her partner should be the ones here absorbing this, and making decisions on what is best for them, and their child. 

This. A 1000 times.  NJShoreMom, I think you have good intentions, but you should let your daughter and her fiancé do the work.  I find it a bit creepy to see parents involved in the intimate life of their grown-up children. 

Edited January 17, 2019 by Lemonslice

[<3T&M<3 217]

On 1/10/2019 at 1:20 PM, Jorgedig said:

Also, pregnancy is not considered to be evidence and it in no way expedites the process.

 

You may want to spend some time reviewing current processing times on this website.   Our K-1 was a total of nine months from the receipt of the petition at USCIS to mailing off my (now) husband’s AOS application.   That’s lightning-fast.   We had really no bumps along the way, and Auckland is a very low fraud embassy.  However, he still won’t be able to work or leave the United States until at least March.  

 

Your daughter’s fiancé will take longer to process as a Turkish national living in Italy (even as a legal resident) simply because of the additional background checks required.   I am not familiar with Turkey’s level of cooperation,  but many MENA countries (Pakistan, for example) do not have the same data-sharing levels as western countries,  so the administrative processing takes significantly longer.

Turkey isn't not considered MENA. Some articles like to include a "T" at the end doe Turkey, but for all legality purposes it's not. Most quick searches will appear otherwise, you must dig a little deeper.

[SalishSea 16,884]

1 minute ago, <3T&M<3 said:

Turkey isn't not considered MENA. Some articles like to include a "T" at the end doe Turkey, but for all legality purposes it's not. Most quick searches will appear otherwise, you must dig a little deeper.

Fair enough.  Although, as with any legal resident of a different country, the processing and vetting will not be as straightforward as it would for a born citizen.

[<3T&M<3 217]

On 1/7/2019 at 1:12 PM, Shiran said:

If she is pregnant, and he is well established in Italy with a job etc, it might be be best course of action for them and your future grandchild (but probably not you) to get married in Italy, and for her to stay there at least temporarily. After marriage she can petition for CR1. She, as US Citizen, needs to initiate this process. She can then choose stay there for about a year or so while it percolates via USCIS process and once they have their approval they can explore options of moving to US and looking for job here etc.

I have been under the impression that it is QUITE a bit more difficult for U.S. citizen to prove she can meet the support/income guideline and to bring her spouse to U.S. if she ups and leaves her job to go live overseas.... (a co-workers son - living and working in Turkey with his wife - is going through this ATM).... wouldn't this cause some stress in the case?

🤷🏻‍♀️

[NJShoreMom 42]

14 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

This. A 1000 times.  NJShoreMom, I think you have good intentions, but you should let your daughter and her fiancé do the work.  I find it a bit creepy to see parents involved in the intimate life of their grown-up children. 

 

 

"creepy" ?  isn't that a bit strong?  Why, because its a rough situation and I actually care and want to help research to make sure everything goes smoothly?  What makes you think they are not researching, outside this here forum, or even ON this forum and just not commenting?  If that makes me "creepy", well I could only hope all parents are that creepy when it comes to doing everything within their power to help their child.

 

I was under the impression this was a welcoming forum of people all wanting to help others in similar situations.

 

Good day and God Bless

[Ontarkie 13,957]

It's not creepy at all. Being an informed parent that wants to help is not a bad thing. Members on here complain all the time that ppl don't know what they are getting into. Then when a member joins to help their child they are given a hard time. How many vent threads have been posted that family just doesn't understand the process? How many threads are about how the family doesn't support them in this process? Well folks you can't have it both ways.

 

Yes they are both adults and yes they will be having a child. No they don't need to Join VJ to ask questions themselves. Yes it does make it easier but the point is that at least someone is trying to help. The OP found VJ and that is awesome. She can now give them good information and they can all learn the process together. When things start moving yes it would be very helpful to have the daughter join. The OP is not the first parent that has posted for their child. Heck we even have had teenagers posting about their parents case. This is a website that helps its members so lets stick to that. 

 

Now stick to helping the OP and drop the attacks.

Moderation 

[Lemonslice 4,583]

4 hours ago, NJShoreMom said:

 

 

"creepy" ?  isn't that a bit strong?  Why, because its a rough situation and I actually care and want to help research to make sure everything goes smoothly?  What makes you think they are not researching, outside this here forum, or even ON this forum and just not commenting?  If that makes me "creepy", well I could only hope all parents are that creepy when it comes to doing everything within their power to help their child.

 

I was under the impression this was a welcoming forum of people all wanting to help others in similar situations.

 

Good day and God Bless

Wishing you and your family the best. 

Edited January 17, 2019 by Lemonslice
Post Ontarkie message correction.

[SalishSea 16,884]

Just now, Lemonslice said:

I think it would be more helpful if they participated themselves than through a third party.  Life changing decisions should be handled by adults making them.

I agree.  Personally, I feel that with how complex immigration is, it is too important to delegate someone else to understand it for you.

[NJShoreMom 42]

43 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

I agree.  Personally, I feel that with how complex immigration is, it is too important to delegate someone else to understand it for you.

Once again, They ARE doing this on their own.  They ARE doing their own research.  They DO understand what they are getting into. This was MY choise, as a loving parent, to come here and ask questions.  And I will jump thru hoops and walk across fire to help my child.   Have a great day and God bless 😊

 

 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

OP. I am not a mother, but I fully see where you are coming from. Both my mom and my dad were worried sick throughout my and my now-husband's K1 experience, including the time before applying while deciding which path to take. I know they were both worried sick that we would choose Sweden, where my husband is from, and I'd be moving across the country away from them. My mom still, even now, comments on how relieved she is that she has us both here. But in the end, someone DID have to move across the country away from their parents - my husband. And I imagine it's the same, as with any couple going through this process, for your daughter and her partner. It's a horribly bittersweet situation, knowing without a doubt that you've found your person, but also knowing in the back of your mind that ultimately, someone is going to have to uproot themselves and leave a life they've known for a while (or even their entire lives, up until that point). That is not easy, on the couple and also on their families. We both kept our parents in the loop on our decisions on each side, not because we "aren't grown up enough" or couldn't make these decisions on our own. We could. And honestly, we did. We chose what worked best for us and our family, together just the two of us, long term. But our parents matter a great deal to both of us, and it sounds like you and your daughter are just as close. So I can relate to that. I'm in my 30s, and my parents' opinion still matters a LOT to me, when I make big choices or changes in my life. So - kudos to you, for being one of those moms.

 

You mentioned in an earlier post that the two of them have even talked about her moving to where he is. I think the first thing they need to do is decide which direction they want to move - him coming here, or her moving there. Of course your choice is a biased one But at the end of the day, it will have to be their choice and based on what is best for them and their growing family. Once that decision is made, then comes deciding which route to take to achieve that goal. If it's settling here in the states, you've been given a plethora of information comparing the two viable options for them - K1 and CR1. I'd share those comparisons with them - the breakdowns other posters have taken the time to put together and share are very informative and beneficial.

 

Best of luck to you, your new additions coming to your family, and to your daughter and her future with her partner! It is a very stressful journey, but also such a beautiful one. The end game ALWAYS validates any struggles or stress experienced along the way! I can promise you that.

Edited January 29, 2019 by Paul & Mallory

[NJShoreMom 42]

Paul and Mallory....thanks for your kind words.  We truly appreciate it ❤️