Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?

[mgat5 0]

I responded yes... keeping them doesnt mean reading them... I think we all have things that sometimes we dont even remember we have!

[Elphie 0]

It wouldnt bother me if my husband wanted to keep it. He married me, not the ex.

[sophyie 0]

My husband and I read through our old love letters together once, we were cleaning out old stuff and came across them...

I don't mind them in a box somewhere at all, it's not like he ever looks through them, they are more than four years old and I even know the ex.

I have my box of letters (not only love letters, all letters I wanted to keep) stored in the attic of my mum's house in Germany, one day I'll go back, read through them, smile and probably through them out.

Although I have to admit, shipping them over never came to my mind.

[Jamie76 0]

I think everyone understands the fact their SOs probably had lives before they met each other. I know my fiancee had a boyfriend. If however, she saved letters etc, I'm not sure I would like that. What would be the reason?

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Invalid poll -- needs a not applicable.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

No. I want any memories of him gone. I want his letters gone, any gifts he gave destroyed, and any parts of her that he touched cut off and burnt.

/jk

[msu17 0]

Haha, same sentiment. We both don't want stuff from past relationships around and expect the other person to get rid of things as well. We may have a few things because we like the object, but that's different than keeping it for sentimental reasons. When my SO got home the first time, he burned everything he had from his ex!!! Gotta say, if he ever sent me love letters in a box like that, they'd be shredded SO fast...

[vareska 3]

My husband doesn't have any exes, I am his first and only

I threw out all the letters from my ex and all ex pictures when hubby and I got engaged. I thought about it long before that, and while I was telling myself that it is ok to hold onto sentimental stuff, I won't go into psych now why that is beneficial to one's mental health, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to show my uttermost commitment to my husband by getting rid of anything that associated me with other men. I don't know how to explain it, it was a very powerful moment for me when I shredded all those kind words written to me by someone else who loved me, and I held onto them for a decade.

I looked at the pile of that stuff and said I have someone who loves me oh so much more now and someone I love more than I ever thought I could. Suddenly the sentiment behind the ex was not worth keeping, it could not measure up to the sense of belonging I felt towards my husband. Not to mention the light in my husband's eyes when i told him I destroyed it all, even though he always told me he is perfectly fine with me keeping it. He looked like a little boy trying to be a big strong man, but he just could not hide that victorious look in his eyes, It was so precious ))

[Andy-n-Maricar 6]

It doesn't bother me. My wife and I were both widowed and we understand that there is still some feeling of love for our departed spouses even though we have moved on with our lives and found each other.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

It doesn't bother me either. Both my husband and I have pasts and these people are part of it - in fact, these people have helped to make each of us who we are today. The letters and photographs are history. I don't require my husband to get rid of his past or his history nor does he ask the same of me. It would be like trying to deny a part of who we are. We are comfortable with each other and each other's pasts. It really is no big deal.

[trinket 30]

Depends really, say if its a harmless letter when he got when he was in 5th grade, I won't mind, those are sweet collectibles, but if he still keeps some letters of a very serious relationship, I might get jealous.

But anyways this really doesn't apply in our case, I would be glad if he could even keep old mails of mine. My husband isn't all that great with storing things and as for me, I did bring old letters back from India but only from friends, no one ever wrote me no love letter

[It's me 1]

no

[sunshine8790 0]

I don't know that he does have any old love letters from any exes. I did happen across an old card (birthday, I think?) from an ex of his, and I won't lie in saying that it didn't initially bother me, but by no means does that mean that I'm not okay with it - because I am. Flattery is flattery, and whatever the reason for their breaking up, I don't see any harm in holding on to a letter or card or a gift or whatever. We all have our sentimental mementos from the past, be it from our childhood, a past relationship, an old friendship, loved ones who have passed away, etc. There is no harm.

[Novembro 1,763]

I don't really care if he does. However, I personally have destroyed all things pertaining to an ex as a habit after a relationship. I have always done this as a cleansing process. Sure, those relationships have made me the person I am today, but the memory of them is more than enough. I don't need their things hanging about, cluttering up my life (and my house)!

[berber_wife 90]

As long as he's not keeping them in his nightstand and reading them before bed every night, I have no problem with it. He was 28 when he met me so it's natural that he has a past-and I don't want him to erase it because his past helped make him the wonderful person he is today.