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Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?

Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?  

255 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you okay with your SO keeping old love letters from an ex?

    • yes
      68
    • no
      187


89 posts in this topic

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

Just curious to see the general opinion on whether or not people are cool with their SO having old love letters from their past relationships.

:)

Karoline


1996: Paul and I met in Germany

10.18.06: We got engaged! :D

12.05.06: NOA1 for I-129F

05.04.07: Interview-- Visa Approved!!!!

05.09.07: Visa Received!!!!

05.14.07: Paul is home!!!!

06.08.07: Wedding!!!! We're married, we're married! Woohoo!

06.21.07: Sent AOS, AP, and EAD applications to USCIS

06.23.07: AOS package received in Chicago

06.28.07: NOA for AOS, AP, and EAD

07.10.07: Received notice for biometrics appointment

08.02.07: Biometrics Appointment

09.20.07: AOS interview

11.15.07: Green Card received

11.05.09: Removal of Conditions package sent to VSC

11.09.09: Package received at VSC

11.12.09: Check cashed

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Scotland
Timeline

I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?


[color=#800080]AOS

Lawyer sent Aos package 07-27-2007

Medical 08-01-2007

Check cashed -08-23-2007

NOA - 08-27-2007

Biometrics scheduled - 09-12-2007

Biometrics for EAD and AOS 09-12-2007

Received RFE for medical and co-sponsor tax returns

(Tax returns were sent) also letter from employer

needed, and last 6 months pay stubs.

RFE: 09-11-2007

Sent RFE back to lawyer 10-10-2007

EAD card production ordered 06-11-2007

EAD received 17-11-2007

Interview date for 01-08-2008[/color]

Approved! Card Production ordered 01-08-2008

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Filed: Country: United Kingdom
Timeline
I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)


Now That You Are A Permanent Resident

How Do I Remove The Conditions On Permanent Residence Based On Marriage?

Welcome to the United States: A Guide For New Immigrants

Yes, even this last one.. stuff in there that not even your USC knows.....

Here are more links that I love:

Arriving in America, The POE Drill

Dual Citizenship FAQ

Other Fora I Post To:

alt.visa.us.marriage-based http://britishexpats.com/ and www.***removed***.com

censored link = *family based immigration* website

Inertia. Is that the Greek god of 'can't be bothered'?

Met, married, immigrated, naturalized.

I-130 filed Aug02

USC Jul06

No Deje Piedras Sobre El Pavimento!

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Filed: Country: Indonesia
Timeline
I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

Cute :lol:


I-130

Jun 28 2004 : Received at NSC

Oct 25 2004 : Transferred to CSC

Oct 29 2004 : Received at CSC

Nov 8 2004 : Received response from CSC that my file is being requested & review will be done

Nov 10 2004 : Email & online status Approved

Nov 15 2004 : NOA 2 in mail

Dec 16 2004 : NVC assigns case number

Dec 20 2004 : NVC sent DS 3032 to beneficiary, copy of DS 3032 & I-864 fee bill to petitioner

Jan 3 2005 : Petitioner received copy of DS 3032 and I-864 fee bill. Post-marked Dec 23rd.

Jan 11 2005 : Beneficiary received DS 3032 in Indonesia

Jan 31 2005 : Sent DS 3032 to NVC

Feb 8, 2005 : NVC received DS 3032

Feb 21, 2005 : IV fee generated

Feb 25, 2005 : Sent I-864 fee bill

Feb 28, 2005 : I-864 fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 3, 2005 : IV fee bill received

Mar 7, 2005 : Sent IV fee bill

Mar 9, 2005 : IV fee bill delivered to St Louis

Mar 28, 2005 : I-864 fee credited against case.

April 6, 2005 : Received I-864 package

April 7, 2005 : Immigrant Visa fee credited against case.

April 11, 2005 : DS 230 is generated

Aug 12, 2005 : I-864 & DS 230 received by NVC

Sep 14, 2005 : RFE on I-864

Nov 3, 2005 : Checklist response received at NVC

Nov 25, 2005 : Case completion

Dec 9, 2005 : Police Cert requested from the Netherlands

Jan 12 2006 : Interview success - Approved !!

Jan 19 2006 : Visa & brown envelope picked up

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Scotland
Timeline
I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

:lol:


[color=#800080]AOS

Lawyer sent Aos package 07-27-2007

Medical 08-01-2007

Check cashed -08-23-2007

NOA - 08-27-2007

Biometrics scheduled - 09-12-2007

Biometrics for EAD and AOS 09-12-2007

Received RFE for medical and co-sponsor tax returns

(Tax returns were sent) also letter from employer

needed, and last 6 months pay stubs.

RFE: 09-11-2007

Sent RFE back to lawyer 10-10-2007

EAD card production ordered 06-11-2007

EAD received 17-11-2007

Interview date for 01-08-2008[/color]

Approved! Card Production ordered 01-08-2008

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I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

Exactly. If he/she spends endless hours poring and mooning over mementoes of former relationships, that would obviously be something to worry about. But if someone's demanding that every last trace of an ex-love is wiped away, then I think they're the one with the problem. I don't think that many people would 'need' to keep that kind of thing, but why shouldn't they? They certainly shouldn't be ordered to get rid of it all just because someone else is feeling all jealous and insecure....


2005 - We met

2006 - Filed I-129F

2007 - K-1 issued, moved to US, completed AOS (a busy year, immigration-wise)

2009 - Conditions lifted

2010 - Will be naturalising. Buh-bye, USCIS! smile.png

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
I voted no. Why would they need\want to when they have the love of their life now?

Because they're too far away in the basement to bother with?

(the letters, not the love of my life)

Exactly. If he/she spends endless hours poring and mooning over mementoes of former relationships, that would obviously be something to worry about. But if someone's demanding that every last trace of an ex-love is wiped away, then I think they're the one with the problem. I don't think that many people would 'need' to keep that kind of thing, but why shouldn't they? They certainly shouldn't be ordered to get rid of it all just because someone else is feeling all jealous and insecure....

agreed. and ps I love you for using the correct spelling of "to pore."

pps I also LOL'd at meauxna's post

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Filed: Country: United Kingdom
Timeline
Out of respect for the SO, letters, photos and other memorabilia should be promptly disposed of.

Excellent. Report with Alex+R for basement duty, my place, next Saturday at 10am. Can't have the no respecting carry on another 6 years!

<g>

I'll make pancakes, for Pete's sake. It'll be fun!


Now That You Are A Permanent Resident

How Do I Remove The Conditions On Permanent Residence Based On Marriage?

Welcome to the United States: A Guide For New Immigrants

Yes, even this last one.. stuff in there that not even your USC knows.....

Here are more links that I love:

Arriving in America, The POE Drill

Dual Citizenship FAQ

Other Fora I Post To:

alt.visa.us.marriage-based http://britishexpats.com/ and www.***removed***.com

censored link = *family based immigration* website

Inertia. Is that the Greek god of 'can't be bothered'?

Met, married, immigrated, naturalized.

I-130 filed Aug02

USC Jul06

No Deje Piedras Sobre El Pavimento!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

I have no problems with having pictures of your past relationships, but keeping love letters is just too much, I don't see why someone needs to keep love letters from people they don't love anymore, I certainly don't need to.




* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

* LOC Timeline *
*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
*03/03/10: LOC approved
*03/11/10: 10 years green card received

* Naturalization Timeline *
*12/17/10: package sent
*12/29/10: NOA date
*01/19/11: biometrics
*04/12/11: interview
*04/15/11: approval letter
*05/13/11: Oath Ceremony - Officially done with Immigration.

Complete Timeline

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline
I have no problems with having pictures of your past relationships, but keeping love letters is just too much, I don't see why someone needs to keep love letters from people they don't love anymore, I certainly don't need to.

That's exactly how I feel. I don't have a problem with keeping photos either, but love letters I'm not okay with.

I'll explain more why I put this poll up. I received a big package from my fiance last week. Full of all kinds of random belongings. The package included a box of letters; letters and postcards from family and friends, some from me, and then about 50 or so from his ex. I think I wouldn't have been so concerned had it been just a few, but I think I freaked out a bit because it was so many.

We talked about it, and all is resolved. He said that his past relationship had been a big part of his past, and that was why he had kept them. He also said he didn't realize it would be a big deal for me but understands my point, and he has no problem getting rid of them. I guess my thinking is that I don't see the point unless you're planning to pull them out from time to time to read them and reminisce, and I don't think that would be healthy for our relationship. He was really great about it, and I know that he truly loves me and doesn't want to be with anyone else. For now I just put the letters up in my closet. I don't feel like it is my place to get rid of them. I myself was engaged before and I didn't throw away the engagement photos we had professionally done, but they are in my parents attic where they will more than likely stay for years and years, so I might as well have thrown them away. I suggested that he could maybe put her letters in my parent's attic with my old engagement photos. I guess, I don't mind too much if they exist, but I don't want them in our home, if that makes sense.

Anyways, I wanted to see if I was being overly sensitive and potentially insecure or if others mostly feel the same way I do.

Best wishes to all,

Karoline


1996: Paul and I met in Germany

10.18.06: We got engaged! :D

12.05.06: NOA1 for I-129F

05.04.07: Interview-- Visa Approved!!!!

05.09.07: Visa Received!!!!

05.14.07: Paul is home!!!!

06.08.07: Wedding!!!! We're married, we're married! Woohoo!

06.21.07: Sent AOS, AP, and EAD applications to USCIS

06.23.07: AOS package received in Chicago

06.28.07: NOA for AOS, AP, and EAD

07.10.07: Received notice for biometrics appointment

08.02.07: Biometrics Appointment

09.20.07: AOS interview

11.15.07: Green Card received

11.05.09: Removal of Conditions package sent to VSC

11.09.09: Package received at VSC

11.12.09: Check cashed

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I don't throw things out, and it doesn't have anything to do with respect, but just a combination of being a pack rat and liking to keep my personal history.

Should I tear up all the group photos from college because it didn't work out with a guy I dated? No thanks.


AOS

-

Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline
I'm lucky. I'm my SO first love. Hehehe.

That IS lucky! :D My fiancé was my first love 10 years ago, but then we parted ways for a few years (we were very young back then) and each were in a few other relationships. We've been back together 2 years now. I wish sometimes that we never had that time apart, but then again that has shaped who we are, so I believe everything happens for a reason. I'm just happy he is back in my life now. :D


1996: Paul and I met in Germany

10.18.06: We got engaged! :D

12.05.06: NOA1 for I-129F

05.04.07: Interview-- Visa Approved!!!!

05.09.07: Visa Received!!!!

05.14.07: Paul is home!!!!

06.08.07: Wedding!!!! We're married, we're married! Woohoo!

06.21.07: Sent AOS, AP, and EAD applications to USCIS

06.23.07: AOS package received in Chicago

06.28.07: NOA for AOS, AP, and EAD

07.10.07: Received notice for biometrics appointment

08.02.07: Biometrics Appointment

09.20.07: AOS interview

11.15.07: Green Card received

11.05.09: Removal of Conditions package sent to VSC

11.09.09: Package received at VSC

11.12.09: Check cashed

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

This is an interesting post ... my fiance and I have had this discussion.

He came to stay at my home and noticed things around my home that I hadn't acknowledged in quite some time. He classified them as ghosts and was upset that they were not removed long before hand. The fact was was that I didn't have any shrines ... just some things that blended in with the furniture. For example ... the topping from my wedding cake that had been sitting in my freezer for 8 years lol. I just never really thought to myself ... I should throw that out.

There was a funny "Everyone Loves Raymond" episode about this exact thing .. and he now tells me that I'm living in a museum of my erotic past.

Honestly ... it's silly to believe that no one has had a life before you although there is something to be said about being respectful (like not having any shrines!!)


Met in Cleveland 07/07/05 ... Fireworks!!!

Emails and phone calls until first visit back September '05

Many trips to Cleveland and overnight stays in New York

Engaged 05/07/06

07/18/07 - Interview yeeehaaa .. approved

07/26/07 - received Visa from Montreal (should have received 07/24)

07/26/07 - POE Buffalo, NY (Peace Bridge) .. No EAD stamp

07/27/07 - Beautiful marriage .. now you may call me Mrs. :)

07/28/07 - Filed AOS,EAD, and AP for me and AOS and AP for my son via UPS .. received 08/01

08/16/07 - applied for ssn

09/03/07 - received ssn card

11/07/07 - AP approved and received 11/12/07 :)

11/19/07- EAD approved online and received same day (actual approval 11/07/07) :)

12/27/07 - AOS transferred to CSC

02/26/08 - 485's approved without interview

01/14/09 - Sent I-751 - removal of conditions

02/23/10 - Biometrics

03/17/10 - Removal of conditions approved .. card production ordered

"Life is not measured by the amount of breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

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