Hi, I live in the u.s. and I recently met A Jamaican man on Facebook....... I really really like him..... But I am not dumb so I would love some guidance please..... Thank you?

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Yes, and does he guard his phone?  I have a friend who was engaged to a jamaican man and filed a K1 for him.  Whenever she visited he guarded his phone, never set it down around her.  Always kept it with him, ringer off.  I told her my then fiance used to hand me his phone to hold for him.  She replied her fiance would never allow that.  Found out months later he was active on a dating website and had a JA girlfriend the whole time.

Edited January 30, 2017 by LionessDeon

[Ontarkie 13,918]

~~Moved to the Caribbean forum,  from DCF as the OP is looking for guidance to help her understand and learn what red flags to look out for from a Jamaican man.~~

[MrsMcFarlane 3]

Definitely listen to all advice given. I was in your shoes a few years ago, now I'm happily married to him! Patience is key, and like the others said, don't let the charm overtake you. I took a few trips first, really learning him and his surroundings. Just let things flow naturally and don't rush. If you feel he rushes you in anyway I would consider that a red flag. Best wishes to you and yours! 

[Boiler 43,485]

You meet someone online, you have never met.

 

First stop is an Immigration web site?

 

Seems an odd way of doing things..

[neilsqueen 433]

All of this advice is awesome!  Make sure you listen and follow it closely.  Also, if he has children, has he included you in their lives? Have you met them, talked to them on the phone or skype?  Wishing you the best and much success in love!  It is a grand thing when it is the right one

[Sukie 1,439]

There is nothing wrong with beginning a relationship online.  I did.

 

But having been burned by imagining that an online relationship is a real love relationship (twice), I realized this time around that I needed to meet the person face-to-face before I let go of my heart.  From the very start, I asked hard questions to determine the beliefs of my spouse - things that are highly personal like abortion, belief in God, money.  Turns out we had similar upbringing, and have the same core beliefs. 

 

No matter how much time you spent together before choosing to be in a committed relationship, YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT PERSON through-and-through.  Even after 10 years of knowing each other, we are still learning.

 

I fear many people get seduced by the "electricity" at the beginning of a relationship.  But unless you consider your partner a true friend, and can trust them with the icky sides of you as well as the fabulous sides of you, it can be a rocky road.

 

Take your time.  It's nice to hear sweet nothings - but sometimes that's all they are....nothing.

 

Best of luck! 

 

Sukie in NY

 

 

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

3 hours ago, babygurl said:

Hello my friend,

 

first of all if you got to visit and you have never been to jamaica stay at a hotel of your choice.  Can you tell me what parish he is from?  Look out for signs of asking for money too soon after meeting.  See if he has you speak to family really like mother father grandparents.  Call him at different hours of the night to see if he answers his phone. Look for no excuse for the phone to be off.  Dont let him start asking for you to put credit on his phone, I am sure he was doing it before meeting you.  I can tell you alot of tricks especially when it comes to the jamaican man.  But I will say there are a few good ones out there as well.  Hope this will be one for you.

Good advice. I am not directly knowledgeable about Jamaica, but having flown to a Latin American country to meet a woman from an online romantic relationship, I would go one step further than just staying at the hotel of your choice. I would try to meet this person, for the first time, at a neutral site, if possible, away from his hometown and/or away from where he currently resides. In fact, if there are other Caribbean islands that he can freely visit, then buy him a ticket and meet him on a different island. Make it your choice. You will get him out of his comfort zone. Away from friends. Where he has to focus 100% on you. He will also very likely have to use his real name in order to fly, and presumably a passport. This is all good stuff to know.

 

You can meet his family on another visit. The first visit should be about you and him, only.

[caliliving 606]

1 hour ago, Russ&Caro said:

Good advice. I am not directly knowledgeable about Jamaica, but having flown to a Latin American country to meet a woman from an online romantic relationship, I would go one step further than just staying at the hotel of your choice. I would try to meet this person, for the first time, at a neutral site, if possible, away from his hometown and/or away from where he currently resides. In fact, if there are other Caribbean islands that he can freely visit, then buy him a ticket and meet him on a different island. Make it your choice. You will get him out of his comfort zone. Away from friends. Where he has to focus 100% on you. He will also very likely have to use his real name in order to fly, and presumably a passport. This is all good stuff to know.

 

You can meet his family on another visit. The first visit should be about you and him, only.

actually i disagree.. u should meet him in his island around his friends/family.. if he doesnt introduce u to his friends/family it is a big red flag.. he could have another life going on there (wife and kids) u dont even know about.

also, see what activity is on his facebook.. lots of scammers have multiple facebooks

the family can also be in on it.. so be careful around his family ect.. but see how he treats them. how they act.. do they expect u to send them money? also, where does he work? see how he interacts at work.

 

lots of people that get scammed meet the person not in the hometown and quickly file the petition.. not meeting family/friends i believe is a huge red flag! also, the phone thing is another huge red flag! 

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

20 minutes ago, caliliving said:

actually i disagree.. u should meet him in his island around his friends/family.. if he doesnt introduce u to his friends/family it is a big red flag.. he could have another life going on there (wife and kids) u dont even know about.

also, see what activity is on his facebook.. lots of scammers have multiple facebooks

the family can also be in on it.. so be careful around his family ect.. but see how he treats them. how they act.. do they expect u to send them money? also, where does he work? see how he interacts at work.

 

lots of people that get scammed meet the person not in the hometown and quickly file the petition.. not meeting family/friends i believe is a huge red flag! also, the phone thing is another huge red flag! 

I'll have to agree to disagree with caliliving's advice.

 

My advice was given in regards to your personal safety and peace of mind. If you're at a neutral site, he doesn't have a posse to physically harm you. There are no easy escape routes if he's on another island and in another city. Granted, there are no guarantees even if you're at a neutral site, but your odds are better if it's just one person vs one person.

 

Again, meet his family on your 2nd trip, and see if he's scamming you at that time. Take care of yourself and be safe on the first trip.

 

EDIT: I have to say, it would have felt super weird had I met my future wife's family on my first visit. It's a personal thing. You might not feel so awkward. My advice, which mirrors other advice given here is to take your time and get to know him over multiple trips.

Edited January 30, 2017 by Russ&Caro
Additional info

[Quenbee 47]

Girl am Jamaican do u want me to stalk him.. lol am in the US, I could always add him on fb and try to figure out his intentions.. he will open up to me cuz am Jamaican... and no worries I won't him know we spoke.. sounds creepy, but am always down to help a sister out!!

[Jawaree 717]

Its an individual thing not a country thing with good & bad folks everywhere,

its getting to know a person, some woman will act desperate behaving

as if they can buy a man, they'll pay for everything & the men come to

see her as the one who always pays...its 50/50. It will be on you to see

thru the dude, how many baby mamas & kids he got, if he's a marrying

kind who now wants to marry why none of them became his wife.?

 

His family, there are like 4 different sets of Jamaicans really as its a country

big on class , education, even on one being able to properly speak the

English language, the men & women are both assertive, with the gift of gab

some can come of aggressive & it means nothing. Ask him to move there &

live with him upon meeting, see whats his answer...Meet the family, listen, observe

& dont start off with too much gifts for anyone...Take your time

[caliliving 606]

30 minutes ago, Quenbee said:

Girl am Jamaican do u want me to stalk him.. lol am in the US, I could always add him on fb and try to figure out his intentions.. he will open up to me cuz am Jamaican... and no worries I won't him know we spoke.. sounds creepy, but am always down to help a sister out!!

yes!! this!!!!!! 

[Quenbee 47]

2 hours ago, caliliving said:

yes!! this!!!!!! 

 

2 hours ago, caliliving said:

yes!! this!!!!!! 

My dumb ### still Trynna figure out how to use. This forum... anyways.. am serious... but us guys should probable PM me though for privacy... ( no creeps please) lol

Edited January 31, 2017 by Ontarkie
removed personal email

[LionessDeon 2,060]

2 hours ago, Quenbee said:

 

My dumb ### still Trynna figure out how to use. This forum... anyways.. am serious... but us guys should probable PM me though for privacy.. ( no creeps please) lol

There is private messaging here for privacy. Consider asking moderators to delete that email address. 

Edited January 31, 2017 by Ontarkie
edited email from quoted part

[Quenbee 47]

Didn't know there was private message.. so yea the should delete it... can I delete it myself??