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Just received conditional green card and I think my husband is cheating on me

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I am writing this for a friend. She just received her conditional green card after being married four about 7 months. She genuinely fell in love with her husband and now has reason to believe that he has in the past and currently is cheating on her.  Now that she has suspected that something is going one, he is accusing her of only getting married to get her Greencar, etc. He has been picking fights with her and just contradicting everything. It is absolutely not the case. She's college educated, kind and beautiful inside out. She is more educated than him and he is not verbally abusing her.   In any case he is threatening with annulment or divorce? What recourse does she have? Can she get a job with a conditional permit? Can her employer sponsor her.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I would like to do as much as I can to help her get through this.  I should mention that she has stated that if she is going to be treated the way she is, she would rather go back to her home country but of course would like to continue her life in the US to help her mother back in her home country.  She is no way wants to stay with this man if he is going to treat her with the disrespect that he has shown in the short 6 months that they have been married. 

 

TIA!

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~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from Off Topic - As similar topics are discussed here.~~


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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She has a GC therefore she's allowed to work. As long as she has evidence of bona fide marriage (financial co-mingling and co-habitation for the duration of the marriage) she can divorce and file for ROC on her own with a divorce waiver (checkbox on the form).


Entry on VWP to visit then-boyfriend 06/13/2011

Married 06/24/2011

Our first son was born 10/31/2012, our daughter was born 06/30/2014, our second son was born 06/20/2017

AOS Timeline

AOS package mailed 09/06/2011 (Chicago Lockbox)

AOS package signed for by R Mercado 09/07/2011

Priority date for I-485&I-130 09/08/2011

Biometrics done 10/03/2011

Interview letter received 11/18/2011

INTERVIEW DATE!!!! 12/20/2011

Approval e-mail 12/21/2011

Card production e-mail 12/27/2011

GREEN CARD ARRIVED 12/31/2011

Resident since 12/21/2011

ROC Timeline

ROC package mailed to VSC 11/22/2013

NOA1 date 11/26/2013

Biometrics date 12/26/2013

Transfer notice to CSC 03/14/2014

Change of address 03/27/2014

Card production ordered 04/30/2014

10-YEAR GREEN CARD ARRIVED 05/06/2014

N-400 Timeline

N-400 package mailed 09/30/2014

N-400 package delivered 10/01/2014

NOA1 date 10/20/2014

Biometrics date 11/14/2014

Early walk-in biometrics 11/12/2014

In-line for interview 11/23/2014

Interview letter 03/18/2015

Interview date 04/17/2015 ("Decision cannot yet be made.")

In-line for oath scheduling 05/04/2015

Oath ceremony letter dated 05/11/2015

Oath ceremony 06/02/2015

I am a United States citizen!

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Yes, she can continue to work. She needs to file for ROC if she does get a divorce. As for annulment, I'm not 100% sure, but wouldn't annulment show it was not a bona fide marriage since - by definition - it's marriage based on fraud? If so, then you might be in trouble and need to get a lawyer. That said, if he is cheating on her, then I can't see how he could be granted an annulment w/o her pushing for it. Well, unless he can prove the marriage was just to get a GC, but no such evidence has been presented backing that here (just that he thinks that's why she's accusing him).

 

That said...I'll just note that USCIS will likely assume, based on timing ("just received"), that she did get married just for the GC, or that she withheld the cheating accusation until she got her GC. She will need to be extra sure to have documentation showing a bona fide marriage.

 

I'll just add 2 more points from a personal standpoint. First, suspicion of cheating without actual proof of it means she doesn't trust him (possibly with good reason, but idk the details). I once dated a woman for 8 years before I started to hear things implying she was cheating on me. It's a hard call to make whether to find out or not...I chose to do it and it confirmed what I suspected. if I was wrong, well...the relationship was already over because I know had lost trust in her just by taking that step. Many people would act differently and that's not wrong either. With regard to immigration, I would suspect that they will view the accusation with scrutiny, and he may claim she's just saying that to keep the GC. Without proof either way, what should they believe? Secondly, cheating doesn't necessarily mean the end of a relationship. Marriage counseling may be an alternate route if they otherwise are in a good marriage. Just my $0.02.

Edited by geowrian

Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

?/?/18: Approved (hopefully)

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

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She can work, why is she not, saying she needs somrone

else to sponsor her will comes off fishy , & she must be sure

of cheating before accusingif the marriage is over  maybe 

her best bet is to go back home since she is far more educated

than he is,and pick up whre she left off. I hope things work

out for her

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17 hours ago, geowrian said:

Yes, she can continue to work. She needs to file for ROC if she does get a divorce. As for annulment, I'm not 100% sure, but wouldn't annulment show it was not a bona fide marriage since - by definition - it's marriage based on fraud? If so, then you might be in trouble and need to get a lawyer. That said, if he is cheating on her, then I can't see how he could be granted an annulment w/o her pushing for it. Well, unless he can prove the marriage was just to get a GC, but no such evidence has been presented backing that here (just that he thinks that's why she's accusing him).

 

That said...I'll just note that USCIS will likely assume, based on timing ("just received"), that she did get married just for the GC, or that she withheld the cheating accusation until she got her GC. She will need to be extra sure to have documentation showing a bona fide marriage.

 

I'll just add 2 more points from a personal standpoint. First, suspicion of cheating without actual proof of it means she doesn't trust him (possibly with good reason, but idk the details). I once dated a woman for 8 years before I started to hear things implying she was cheating on me. It's a hard call to make whether to find out or not...I chose to do it and it confirmed what I suspected. if I was wrong, well...the relationship was already over because I know had lost trust in her just by taking that step. Many people would act differently and that's not wrong either. With regard to immigration, I would suspect that they will view the accusation with scrutiny, and he may claim she's just saying that to keep the GC. Without proof either way, what should they believe? Secondly, cheating doesn't necessarily mean the end of a relationship. Marriage counseling may be an alternate route if they otherwise are in a good marriage. Just my $0.02.

 

I agree with this post but would like to point out that even with an  annulment she can file ROC herself with the divorce waiver but she must have

proof of having entered a good faith marriage and show co mingled evidence.
Rather than suspecting and accusing him, in my opinion she needs to find out the truth and go from there.

 


Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Well, as pointed out, she can file ROC on her own with whatever documentation she has. And getting an annulment usually requires some hard proof of scamming, not just someone's gut feeling or connecting dots they think they see. Also she won't look good doing ROC alone based on saying she had a hunch he was cheating.

 

I think that there are three sides to this story (his, hers, the actual truth) and you only know one of them so far. Best you can do for whoever is asking you this is tell them seek legal advice because the timeline and her suddenly thinking he is a cheat is suspect.

Edited by sparkles_

**Adjusting from initial Q1/changed to B1 then overstay, termination of removal proceedings**

(STAND ALONE i-130/TERMINATION OF REMOVAL)

First met: Totally random by asking for directions, June 2014 while on vacation at Disney World (L)

Engaged: Aug. 21, 2014

Married: Dec. 1, 2014

ICE phone contact: sometime in early Dec. 2014- Co-operated, retained attorney who advised the same.

Filed stand alone i-130: January 2015 (VSC)

ICE home visit, schedule time to go to DHS office and NTA issued, date TBD, was not detained and released on own recognizance within an hour: January, 2016.

NOA1: Feb. 20, 2015.

Transfer to CSC to balance workloads: August 2015

1)First Master Calendar Hearing: Sept. 9, 2015-Continued based on pending i-130, new court date in 6mo.

Congressional Inquiry: Dec 8. 2015

***i-130 APPROVED WITHOUT INTERVIEW: Dec. 21, 2015** :dancing:

2)Second Master Hearing: March 9, 2016- Removal proceedings terminated w/o prejudice based on approved i-130!! Remanded to USCIS to begin AOS process :dance:

(AOS AFTER TERMINATION)

Filed AOS packet: March 16, 2016.

NOA1: March 21, 2016.

Biometrics: April 20, 2016.

RFE Initial evidence: April 21, 2016 for birth cert/translation and Q1/B1 i94s

RFE response received: May 10, 2016.

EAD approval: May 25, 2016- Card arrived at attorney's office! Could not pick up until May 30 because we were at Disney World again :):D

Notice of missing medical exam: July 2016 (Done on purpose to avoid expiration, we will bring it to the interview as stated in notice)

Inquiry about case status: Sept 2016- Case pending interview at local office.

Inquiry about case status again: Oct. 2016- Due to factors not related to your case, anticipate a delay in processing

HAPPY 2YR ANNIVERSARY TO US!!

Infopass #1 at local office: Dec. 19, 2016- Case pending background/security checks, advised when to renew EAD #2

Waiting on interview at local office...... :clock:

Sent EAD renewal: Feb 10, 2016

EAD#2 NOA1: March 3, 2016

INTERVIEW SCHEDULED!!: interview on March 27, 2017

Text notification, new card being produced: March 29, 2017!!!

*~*~*~*818 DAYS TOTAL*~*~*~

"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."

 

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20 hours ago, AngPat said:

I am writing this for a friend. She just received her conditional green card after being married four about 7 months. She genuinely fell in love with her husband and now has reason to believe that he has in the past and currently is cheating on her.  Now that she has suspected that something is going one, he is accusing her of only getting married to get her Greencar, etc. He has been picking fights with her and just contradicting everything. It is absolutely not the case. She's college educated, kind and beautiful inside out. She is more educated than him and he is not verbally abusing her.   In any case he is threatening with annulment or divorce? What recourse does she have? Can she get a job with a conditional permit? Can her employer sponsor her.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I would like to do as much as I can to help her get through this.  I should mention that she has stated that if she is going to be treated the way she is, she would rather go back to her home country but of course would like to continue her life in the US to help her mother back in her home country.  She is no way wants to stay with this man if he is going to treat her with the disrespect that he has shown in the short 6 months that they have been married. 

 

TIA!

She has already answered her own question.  Go home.

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1 hour ago, David & Zoila said:

She has already answered her own question.  Go home.

I don't understand why you would go there... If she entered into the marriage in good faith, only to find out that her husband has been cheating on her, why shouldn't she have a choice whether to return home or build a life here?  Is it ok for him to import a wife planning to divorce and deport her if she doesn't tolerate infidelity?

 

I think maybe what she is saying is that she would rather be single in her home country than treated disrespectfully in a relationship in the US, but she is trying to figure out if those are really the only choices.  I would imagine that whether she can ROC on her own depends on the quality of her evidence of bona fide marriage more than anything else.  I wouldn't think it would matter if she can prove his infidelity, given that he is threatening to divorce her for raising the question.

 

If it were me, I would want to know more about what was really going on with the husband, maybe try some kind of counseling or mediation before definitively deciding to divorce, whether leaving or staying in the US.  But I don't think wanting to know her options relating to her immigration status as she tries to make that decision is unreasonable or suspicious, rather it's a smart move of protecting herself against potential manipulation or deception.

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1 hour ago, David & Zoila said:

She has already answered her own question.  Go home.

It's not fair to only take one small part of what was said and ignore everything around it.

 

22 hours ago, AngPat said:

I should mention that she has stated that if she is going to be treated the way she is, she would rather go back to her home country but of course would like to continue her life in the US to help her mother back in her home country.  She is no way wants to stay with this man if he is going to treat her with the disrespect that he has shown in the short 6 months that they have been married. 

 

TIA!

These highlighted portions are just as important. She's saying that she would rather be single back home than to be married and treated so poorly. So...divorce is a valid option. Then she can be single and in the US, as she stated she would like.

Edited by geowrian

Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

?/?/18: Approved (hopefully)

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

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