Husband refuses to file I485,AOS

[Nyash89 0]

Hi ,everyone am new here, have a problem.

I came to US end of march,the last week under a K-1 Visa,my husband who's a USC hurriedly file for marriage which took place on the 1st week of April.

Since then things really changed between us,i didn't know what it was until I talked to a lady on phone who told me that was abuse;

He doesn't want me to leave the house,he keeps telling me ill be arrested.

He doesn't work he had cancer before so he's on disability income so he' doesn't leave the house and smokes all day with me inside that house.

He has insulted me,yelled at me and even tried stopping from going to church which is round the blocker,100m away.

He's made me sign documents,that are illegal I cant give much. Details here as he threatens me that we wouldn't have cable if I don't sign.

He doesn't talk to me,but when visitors are around he talks to me,compliments me,they know we are okay.

I am not working just my SSN,and today I applied for ID I have no money at all,...

Two weeks ago I brought up the smoking issue,he yelled at me said I was disrespectful,i told he was not the man I knew I didn't understand why he was so cruel to me,he just told me I should never bring up petty issues,i am so childish,they is nothing he hasn't called me.

After that he called his mum and reported me,and accused me of sleeping with someone,bad relations in Church etc,so one of his friends came to ask me about the allegations,she was so sure I did everything that was mentioned to her,someone told me to keep records of everything that has happened to me so I did,i came to realize that he has a very bad credit and he actually brought me here so he can afford a luxurious life.

I told him I want to see a counsellor @ salvation army which he almost refused but he took me and sat nearby I wasn't even able to talk,and he told me I shouldn't go for such things they will reflect on my records.

He's asked me not to talk to anyone male or female,i don't have extra house keys,he never takes me anywhere and anytime I asked him if I can stroll he tells he wants to go somewhere which he never does.

Actually the list is endless,my i-94 expires this week,so I asked him what happens??(because his brother was kind enough to tell me I should be careful with him he has messed two women here in USA and he never filed anything for them at the end)

So he just told me he doesn't have money,just to make sure what I was told was true,i told him I will borrow,he told "AOS is not important people live even forever in the US without this things,youre married to me that's all that matters,youre far much better than many people I know" he's planning to get a car under my name when I start working,since I came he hasn't paid rent he wants me to get a job so that I can help him pay .

I so feeling bad right now,i don't even get enough sleep,he is very violent by nature he kicks things around,he has never hit me though because according to him the government will give me a greencard,so he does everything possible to frustrate me,.

Any advice will be appreciated,i don't have any friends,....cash or anything,he did not pay for my cellphone this month.

If you have gone through this please let me know what happened.

Thanks

[Ischnura 285]

My advice would be to gather your ID, any important documents and anything of personal value and leave. If he protests call the police and they will ensure you leave free of harm. Go to a women's refuge - Red Cross would be able to help you also. Then go from there and decide how you want to proceed. Divorce him, move back home if you have nothing to keep you here. Just please don't stay.

Don't ever think you're to blame for any of this. What he is doing is wrong and it's all his fault, not yours. There's help available to people in your situation and how you're living right now is not normal. Don't sign anything else either.

*big hugs* I'm sorry for your situation.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,364]

Post your story in this thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/579084-vawa-part-7/

Ask for sandranj's advice. She is an attorney and very knowledgeable about VAWA. She can tell you if you have a potential VAWA case or not and what steps to take.

[Penguin_ie 5,984]

***** Moving from Your New Life to Major Changes forum as our experts there can help more ******

[Nyash89 0]

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement,at some point i even thought maybe something was wrong with me,but then I realized maybe he has a mental issue or something,because I was also tired of the endless ooh I have cancer blackmails

[Nyash89 0]

Post your story in this thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/579084-vawa-part-7/

Ask for sandranj's advice. She is an attorney and very knowledgeable about VAWA. She can tell you if you have a potential VAWA case or not and what steps to take.

I have posted on the other forum

My advice would be to gather your ID, any important documents and anything of personal value and leave. If he protests call the police and they will ensure you leave free of harm. Go to a women's refuge - Red Cross would be able to help you also. Then go from there and decide how you want to proceed. Divorce him, move back home if you have nothing to keep you here. Just please don't stay.

Don't ever think you're to blame for any of this. What he is doing is wrong and it's all his fault, not yours. There's help available to people in your situation and how you're living right now is not normal. Don't sign anything else either.

*big hugs* I'm sorry for your situation.

[WandY 430]

"He doesn't work he had cancer before so he's on disability income so he' doesn't leave the house and smokes all day with me inside that house." Get away from him. And turn him in for disability fraud. Just because he had cancer means nothing...at least, not if he can smoke all day, get out of the house, etc. He's worthless and does not deserve you. Good luck!

[Transborderwife 4,666]

This is why vawa exists

[Nyash89 0]

All he keeps saying is that he's terminally ill, when I bring up anything he tells me things like ,I wish you had my body even for a day,the last time he was going for checkup I asked if I can accompany him,he refused,he is always coming up with desperate things to make me feel bad,I NOW UNDERSTAND WHY THE EMBASSY IS ALWAYS HARD ON US WHEN WE GO FOR INTERVIEWS.

[Ischnura 285]

Maybe he is terminally ill, maybe he's not. I have no idea. I will reiterate though, get everything of importance and leave ASAP. While you're online search for your nearest women's refuge, do it in private browsing if there's a chance he'll check your search history. Don't keep yourself in this situation any longer than you have to. If you're worried he'll stop you, as I said previously, call the police. If you think he'll prevent that then go when he leaves for one of these supposed appointments. If there isn't one any time soon tell him the Doctor called and brought the next one forward. Just help yourself at this point.

[EM_Vandaveer 2,364]

This is why vawa exists

I am not sure if she has a VAWA case. Lousy marriage, sure. But for a VAWA case if there is no physical violence she needs a diagnosis of PTSD/anxiety/depression due to mental abuse, otherwise her chances of getting it are slim.

Edited June 12, 2016 by TBoneTX
to amend scatological term

[zkt101 38]

Pack your bags and go home.

[Nyash89 0]

After looking for several sources I think I have a sawa case, I was told to go to Hawc,first meet with an. Advocate so that I can explain my situation, so im waiting for a day from tomorrow where I can sneak out,its not far I heard.

Then definitely ,I will decide,divorce plus going back home I need a ticket,and I threw all my life behind when I came to the US,i need to have a plan

[NikLR 13,220]

Well your husband isn't very bright, sorry to say. You need to AOS so you can work. JUST fyi.

[KayDeeCee 4,891]

Well your husband isn't very bright, sorry to say. You need to AOS so you can work. JUST fyi.

Exactly.

So, he wants you to be illegal in the US AND to work here illegally as well? You cannot legally work until you file for AOS and your EAD, and receive the EAD or green card.