K1 denied and humanitarian denied x2 .need help please!!

[*Snowdrop* 603]

I don't think you are going to get the answers you want to hear on this website because you are talking to an audience of people who are mostly either

a) desperate to be with their spouse or

b) have made the sacrifice to leave their country which they love to move to America to be with their spouse

So as you have an option of reuniting your family in a pretty decent country - where you don't have to learn a new language and where your job skills will be in demand, and where you can give your daughter access to both her parents - most people are not going to say that's a bad deal.

But immigrating and moving your whole life somewhere new isn't easy for some people - it sounds like it would be a big step for you - so it's okay to be cautious and worried.

What would I do in your shoes?

I would go and give it a really good shot. I would aim to give it five years at the very least. And I would aim to do it with the attitude of really building a home and a life there - and try not to see it as a temporary visit. After five years you would be well on your way towards the possibility of UK citizenship and you'll be able to decide whether to stay on for that so that long term at least you would be able to travel back and forth without immigration issues. Also in five years time who knows what changes US immigration might have gone through. Your husband might have another chance to apply - and at least you would be together while dealing with it.

[Unlockable 7,306]

OP,

There may be some tough responses to your post but it has to be said. You are making it a double standard. A vast majority of us would make the move to our loved one's country.I don't know if you are looking for a reason not to feel bad about not wanting to make the same sacrifice as your husband was willing to, but it seems like your mind is set.

Also, I kind of get the feeling that you already know that a decision not to move to him is a selfish one on your part. But it is your decision; not ours.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think that you're looking for affirmation that digging in your heels and not moving is the right choice.

If you really, truly love this man I believe for you and your daughters sake you'll move for him.

[Ischnura 285]

Not sure why you dislike the UK so badly. It's not actually terrible. Visiting somewhere always has the novelty effect, maybe you need to visit some other parts? Spend longer than a visit too. Everywhere has its good and bad but you never know if you don't look.

In short, if you genuinely don't want to go then don't. You don't have any other options at this point in time but for goodness sake, stop blaming the poor man who has tried his hardest to give up everything for you, to be with you. Most of us here have or are in the process of doing what that man tried to do. Try looking at things from his perspective, you already know how you feel but try acknowledging how he does.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Thats a great point you dont need to learn a new language....so many people come here and dont speak english and have different customs to be with there loved ones....i hope however you do whats best for you moving in haste to only have to move back may not be good for your child....good luck to you ?

Edited May 25, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[yuna628 9,530]

OP: You have a valid visa to enter into the UK. This is a visa you are lucky and privileged to obtain, but it is part of a larger process that will take years for you to remain in the UK. When you do so and finish the process, you can remain in whatever country of your choosing. You are asking would we be willing to remain forever in the UK with our husbands/wives if we had your opportunity? Yes, without question.

Love him or don't love him. Move or don't move. If not - I suspect legal, custody, and monetary support issues regarding the child would then have to thought about and worked out in the court system.

If you are asking someone here to instruct you on something that is illegal, no one here can do so. It is against this forum's rules and is disrespectful to those who have entered this country legally or have chosen to make sacrifices for the person they love.

Edited May 25, 2016 by yuna628

[RN1234 2]

Firstly I wasn't looking for any tips on how to come to America illegally. I just wanted to know if people on this website have gotten the parole in place.

Secondly, I really don't like the UK, no offense to the British people but I absolutely hate it. I won't go into detail why, but I do. I don't get the feeling of home there, it's too different and it's just so foreign. I don't want to offend British people so I rather not talk about it. Let's just say it's very backwards.

Thirdly, I do love my husband but due to all the years apart and immigration drama, I did build up a lot of anger towards him, I can't seem to let the pain go. Even when I am with him im angry and I don't even want to talk sometimes because I'm pissed off all the time with him. I went through a lot by having to raise my child alone and work full time and do literally everything by myself!!

I know most if not all of you would get up and move but it's easier said than done.

I have a life, an amazing career that I have always wanted, its so hard for me to move, the only reason I would do this is for my child. I will give it a shot and hopefully things work out. I hate hate hate having to leave my home.

But if it does not work out then I want my child to know that I tried for her sake. I rather loose it all for my child then not ever have tried at all.

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

Firstly I wasn't looking for any tips on how to come to America illegally. I just wanted to know if people on this website have gotten the parole in place.

Secondly, I really don't like the UK, no offense to the British people but I absolutely hate it. I won't go into detail why, but I do. I don't get the feeling of home there, it's too different and it's just so foreign. I don't want to offend British people so I rather not talk about it. Let's just say it's very backwards.

Thirdly, I do love my husband but due to all the years apart and immigration drama, I did build up a lot of anger towards him, I can't seem to let the pain go. Even when I am with him im angry and I don't even want to talk sometimes because I'm pissed off all the time with him. I went through a lot by having to raise my child alone and work full time and do literally everything by myself!!

I know most if not all of you would get up and move but it's easier said than done.

I have a life, an amazing career that I have always wanted, its so hard for me to move, the only reason I would do this is for my child. I will give it a shot and hopefully things work out. I hate hate hate having to leave my home.

But if it does not work out then I want my child to know that I tried for her sake. I rather loose it all for my child then not ever have tried at all.

Honestly no judging as a parent you would do her worse than good to go. Because you hate it so much and your so put off by it. Children know and sense these things if you have a career you love and you love America stay home....

In order for that type of change to even work you would need to be 100% on board and even then it would be hard.

I am sorry for all this hapening to your family but going with that disposition is not gonna work for you.

[Unlockable 7,306]

The UK is far from being backwards.

[cdneh 3,112]

Firstly I wasn't looking for any tips on how to come to America illegally. I just wanted to know if people on this website have gotten the parole in place.

Secondly, I really don't like the UK, no offense to the British people but I absolutely hate it. I won't go into detail why, but I do. I don't get the feeling of home there, it's too different and it's just so foreign. I don't want to offend British people so I rather not talk about it. Let's just say it's very backwards.

Thirdly, I do love my husband but due to all the years apart and immigration drama, I did build up a lot of anger towards him, I can't seem to let the pain go. Even when I am with him im angry and I don't even want to talk sometimes because I'm pissed off all the time with him. I went through a lot by having to raise my child alone and work full time and do literally everything by myself!!

I know most if not all of you would get up and move but it's easier said than done.

I have a life, an amazing career that I have always wanted, its so hard for me to move, the only reason I would do this is for my child. I will give it a shot and hopefully things work out. I hate hate hate having to leave my home.

But if it does not work out then I want my child to know that I tried for her sake. I rather loose it all for my child then not ever have tried at all.

To get parole in place, he would have to GET here illegally. Whether others have or not, that won't work in your situation.

You hate it. I get it. All you can do then is divorce and move on.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Is perhaps the reason you don't want to move because you can have a more lucrative career in nursing here rather than working in a socialized medicine environment?

[aleful 1,905]

hi

you do what you have to do if you really love him and want to be with him

he doesn't qualify for parole in place, this is for immediate family members of active or inactive duty military members who entered illegally in the country, and their only problem was entering the country illegally

and they only have to have illegal presence, meaning only entered illegally in the US, not what your husband has been denied for

if he didn't qualify to get the GC in his country, why would he be able to adjust status in the US?

if he doesn't qualify over there, he doesn't qualify over here either

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

My dad always pushed to teach us that moving wasn't so bad, and felt it was an important life lesson to impart. Because you never know when you will have to move. I now understand how important that lesson was...

[Boiler 43,459]

This is basically a repeat of the thread 2 years ago when OP said she would not move out of her State

[galephys 12]

Thank you all for all of your advice. I have not responded because I kept getting bad news and it has been brining me down.

Final 2 questions:

1. My spouse due to all the rejections from the US has pretty much lost all hope and desire to come to the US now and now that I have been granted this uk spouse visa he pretty much wants me to come live in the uk forever!! Now that's a pretty hard pill for me to swallow.

I know I could handle a few years but forever is harsh!! So if you guys had to move forever what would you do??

2. Sorry one last thing: does anyone know of something called parole in place? It's for those that are in the military and come here illegally. Does anyone know if my husband would be granted parole in place? (Maybe I should ask this question in the military section)

1. Yes. And I did when I first moved here as a student (mostly to be with my now ex who then has gone crazy and turned out to be abusive bipolar maniac).

Now my husband is moving to the US for me. He is leaving a good job he enjoys, he is a vet and to obtain a license for a foreigner in the US is extremely hard and expensive, takes 2-3 years and close to $15K, and before he can even start, he needs to conquer his own country's system, hostile to the US now. He is leaving all his friends and his entire family, including a brother who would never be able to visit US. He will be forced to literally flip burgers for the first few months until his English improves and he can find a better job. Still before the license he'll make half as much as I do now. He never wanted to move, he never liked America, but he loves me enough to do it, and I will always remember it and every time I am ever in doubt about his love and commitment to me, I will just look at his green card. We have been apart for almost 5 years, during which I worked full time and took care of the house on my own, and since I am an immigrant myself, I am completely alone here, not even friends close enough to listen to my rants or cries all this time.

I have an option to move back to my husband's and my home country, but my job is extremely specific, and only places I'd be able to work in Russia are in Siberia, where we both would have to start our lives over at the same time. We chose to have one life started over to reduce stress.

So... yeah. wrong target group here on VJ.

You built resentment and anger? See a therapist, they help with these things. If you really want to be with him, you move, you file waivers even if they will get denied, file petitions and try to adjust the charges. You see a therapist and talk to your husband over and over and over again. You get rid of your double standards. You do _EVERYTHING_ humanly possible to keep your family together.

As many people said, you are stuck in your idea not to move. You consider yourself entitled to convenience and it's your husband who needs to give it all up, even though you have good prospects in the UK.

And finally, before you proceed with any further immigration steps, go see a therapist for your own sake. You know they are usually at least 50% covered by US crappy insurances.