Jump to content
Steven&Jelena

I feel horrible I need advice

82 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone, i really feel miserable rignt now and very stressed. Im 29 weeks pregnant now and i am at risk of premature labor, i got my fiance visa (expiration date is 10 february 2016) but doctor told me that i shouldn't travel for such a long trip from Serbia to New York where in case of emergency plane wont be anyhow abe to land. I also have som bactaerias that are very deengerous in pegnancy and i have to recive antibiotic 2 hours before labor and every hour during labor and baby also must recive them when its born and if dont there is a big chance that baby can die or be demaged and i can get blood poisoning and die. When i think baout that im even more scared when i think about what if something happen during flight, what will be with baby :( . I talked with m fiance about that and he knows that im at risk of premature labor and doctor told me not to travel but he says i should come next week and nothing wont happen during flight cuz its safe. I called embassy and told them for my case and they told me that the best thing would be if my fiance come here when baby is born and aply for crba (that takes 15 days) so baby can come with me and then he can take us to USA. I see that like the best thing but .. my fiance got very mad and he tod me that i must come next week and he wll book me ticket, i have only one chnace to come or to keep life on my own and take care alone about baby beecause he dosn't wnat to come back. So now he want me to come next week or dont come at all. I feel broken and i stress more and more every day. I don;t know what too do, i dont want to be single mother but im so afarid to fly now. ..

Edited by Steven&Jelena

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand where your fiance is coming from, but point blank it's not safe to travel this far in with so many complications.:( Most airlines won't even take a pregnant woman after 28 weeks for the risk of pre-mature labor. I don't think it's a risk worth taking!


American girl and Swiss/Italian boy who met in San Francisco in 2009, moved to Amsterdam in 2014 and married in Switzerland in 2015. Both living and filed for CR-1 from abroad. (L)

USCIS: California Service Center

07/04/2015: I-130 Sent

07/08/2015: NOA 1

07/30/2015: NOA 2

NVC

08/15/2015: NVC Scan

08/24/2015: NVC Case and IIN Received

08/24/2015: DS-261 Completed

08/24/2015: AOS Fee Received

08/26/2015: AOS Fee Marked as Paid

08/28/2015: IV Fee Received

08/31/2015: AOS Package Scanned

09/02/2015: IV Package Scanned

09/02/2015: IV Fee Marked as Paid

09/02/2015: DS-260 Completed

10/07/2015: NVC flagged for Supervisor Review

10/08/2015: Case Complete!!!

10/09/2015: Interview Date Scheduled

10/13/2015: P4 Interview Letter Received

Consulate

11/10/2015: Medical Appointment

11/17/2015: Interview

EKSwp2.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand where your fiance is coming from, but point blank it's not safe to travel this far in with so many complications.:( Most airlines won't even take a pregnant woman after 28 weeks for the risk of pre-mature labor. I don't think it's a risk worth taking!

Wrong, many take women late into their third trimester with doctor's approval. Delta for example, has no restrictions

http://www.babycenter.com/0_airline-policies-for-pregnant-travelers_6976.bc

But OP in your case I would not travel

Edited by Transborderwife

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do NOT go there. He needs to man up, literally, and fly to you. You have a very high risk pregnancy and you need to stay put.

You do NOT need to go next week. You need to think for yourself and your baby, because your fiance is NOT.

I think you need to have a longer talk with your fiance, he knows you're about to have a baby, he knows that he can go there and get you and the baby, and he knows you have until feburary to go to the US. Yet he's willing to just dissolve the relationship because you won't be there when he wants you too even though you have an at risk pregnancy? He sounds controlling, and he is NOT putting you and the baby first, which is already a bad way to start off a marriage. No guy should put his wants over the health of his fiance/wife and children. That is -not- good father material.


If he does leave you (which is the most scumbag thing I've ever seen, but honestly you're probably better off), remember. The baby didn't ask to be brought into this world, but you can be an amazing mother to baby. While things may not have worked as planned, at least you can work on starting a new life for you and baby.

Edit: I agree with Lowlie. I've also been in this situation. Even before I married the guy when I tried to leave him when I was 4 months pregnant he would tell me how he was going to go kill himself, and then while married he never actually threatened to leave me but he would remind me that I would be screwed if he didn't have me. No way to pay the bills, where would I live? There's no way I could ever make it without him. The one time I tried to take the keys and actually leave, things got physical. I'd be told if I left he'd report the car stolen, he'd file for primary custody in the divorce, things to keep me from leaving.

Needless to say I left him, after two years of him dating another woman he pulled the same thing to her "Well if I don't pay the rent, who would pay it? She doesn't make enough". I still see him on a regular basis because we have a daughter, but for some reason he's only controlling to those he dates once he has the upper hand. It's weird, but it's a thing, but you should NEVER be okay being in a relationship like that. No one deserves that.

Edited by Ash.1101

*More detailed timeline in profile!*
 
Relationship:     Friends since 2010, Together since 2013

The K-1 Process:    Done in 208 days                                               
 

Spoiler

04/27/15- NOA1 Recieved                                                    
06/02/15 - NOA2 Recieved
09/22/15 - Interview       (221g for more documents (a SECOND cosponsor), see profile for more details!)                                            
11/09/15 -  ISSUED!!                                                              
11/10/15 - Passport received                                                
02/20/16 - Wedding!              


                                                
 AOS   Done in 77 days                                                                            
 

Spoiler

04/08/16 - I-485, I-765, I-131 AOS Application recieved by USCIS
04/12/16 - 3 NOA1's received in mail
05/14/16 - Biometrics for AOS and EAD
06/27/16 - I-485 Case to changed to "New Card being produced"  (Day 77)
06/27/16 - I-485 Case changed to Approved! (Day 77)
06/30/16 - I-485 Case changed to "My Card has been mailed to me!"
07/05/16 - Green Card received in mail! 

 



ROC 

05/09/18 - Mailed out ROC to CSC

05/10/18 - CSC Signed and received ROC package
06/07/28 - NOA1 

06/11/18 - Check cashed

06/15/18 - NOA received in the mail
08/27/18 - 18 month extension received (Courtesy Copy)

09/18/18 - Request for official 18 month extension
10/22/18 - Official 18 month extension received 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lowlie beat me to the punch. I could not have said it better. My prayers are with you and your baby in this very unsafe time for BOTH of you. I also pray that your little boy of a fiance grows up and becomes a man before he becomes a father and husband! He has lost his mind. You are about to be a mom an hopefully a wife. Maturity is a must. On top of everything he is stressing you out even more! They will not let you fly even if they do late terms you are an at risk pregnancy. You need to tell the little boy-man of yours in a very short and sweet way to GROW THE F UP, CONVERSATION OVER you are staying put till the baby comes and if he wants both of you in the US then he will just have to wait. Dont start your marriage like this. I would also recommend that if this is how he behaves perhaps he needs marriage thearpy so that you can have a long happy loving relationship together otherwise you'll be a divorcee! I wish you luck an all the best young lady!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He's an ####### for trying to pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with. Even if there wasn't any risk for you or the baby, who is he to tell you what to do and threaten you like that?


2012: met the woman of my life :wub:

June 2014: filed I-129F

May 2015: visa in hand - got married (L)

June 2015: filed I-485 and I-765

October 2015: EAD

November 2015: Potential Interview Waiver Notice

February 2016: AOS Case transferred to San Francisco office

March 2016: GC in hand (no interview)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ditch the guy.

I'm sorry (not really), but not only is he controlling but he is also putting your unborn child in danger. You are high-risk and the fact that he is suggesting you come next week is unacceptable.

Put yourself first and take care of yourself :)


11/06: Husband EWI from Mexico
11/08: Started dating

11/11: Husband got deported
1/11/14: Got married
3/13/14-11/2/14:
I-130
1/26/15-3/17/15: NVC

5/28/15: INTERVIEW - denied

6/8/15: I-601/I-212 waivers received

11/17/15: I-601/I-212 waivers APPROVED

12/11/15: HUBBY HOME!! :dance:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello everyone, i really feel miserable rignt now and very stressed. Im 29 weeks pregnant now and i am at risk of premature labor, i got my fiance visa (expiration date is 10 february 2016) but doctor told me that i shouldn't travel for such a long trip from Serbia to New York where in case of emergency plane wont be anyhow abe to land. I also have som bactaerias that are very deengerous in pegnancy and i have to recive antibiotic 2 hours before labor and every hour during labor and baby also must recive them when its born and if dont there is a big chance that baby can die or be demaged and i can get blood poisoning and die. When i think baout that im even more scared when i think about what if something happen during flight, what will be with baby :( . I talked with m fiance about that and he knows that im at risk of premature labor and doctor told me not to travel but he says i should come next week and nothing wont happen during flight cuz its safe. I called embassy and told them for my case and they told me that the best thing would be if my fiance come here when baby is born and aply for crba (that takes 15 days) so baby can come with me and then he can take us to USA. I see that like the best thing but .. my fiance got very mad and he tod me that i must come next week and he wll book me ticket, i have only one chnace to come or to keep life on my own and take care alone about baby beecause he dosn't wnat to come back. So now he want me to come next week or dont come at all. I feel broken and i stress more and more every day. I don;t know what too do, i dont want to be single mother but im so afarid to fly now. ..

Your #1 priority has to be your health and the baby. You should stay where you're comfortable, have a good doctor and support. Not only are you putting yourself, your baby and everyone else on board in danger(If it has to be diverted) you'd be going against Dr's orders. Then, what happens when you land here in the USA or another country and get slapped with a massive medical bill? Not a good way to start off the rest of your life.

Stand your ground and protect yourself!


Met 2008. Moved in together 2010. Married 2015. Baby Z joined us 2017 . :wub:

AOS Timeline 350 days

 

May 31/15 - Sent AOS/EAD/AP to USCIS

June 4/15 - Email and text notifications they were recieved

June 10/15 - NOA1 for AOS/EAD/AP Dated June 1

June 17/15- Change of address confirmation

June 22/15- Biometrics appointment received

July 1/15- Biometrics appointment done(5 minute appointment, 8 hour round trip drive <_< )

August 5/15 - Change of address submitted for new location

August 8/15 - Mobile/E-mail notifications for approved EAD/AP :)

August 17/15 - Change of address confirmation after calling in

August 17/15 - EAD/AP Combo card mailed out(To the wrong address, and then lost by USPS)

September 3/15 - Contacted USCIS and was told to re-apply with a new application and fees?! Put in a service request online for lost card, and a complaint

September 8/15 - USPS found & returned card to USCIS

September 15/15 - Ombudsman contacted USCIS

September 17/15 - Card mailed back out

September 19/15 - EAD/AP Combo card finally in hand

September 22/15 - NPIW letter received, dated September 9/2015 estimated 6 month wait

October 13-21/15 - Traveled using AP to visit parents & ship the rest of our belongings out west

November 27-30/15 - Traveled using AP

December 28/15- RFE hard copy, waiting on documents from Canada

January 31-February 7/16 - Traveled using AP

February 10/16 - Sent in RFE, delivered Feb 16

April 16/16 - Service request filed, RFE was never updated online

May 12 - Approved email and status update dated May 10. Service request never was assigned or solved, though.

May 14 - Greencard in hand!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The fiance's reaction is curiously extreme. Might he be worried about the unplanned expenses involved with a last-minute airfare, or losing more time from his job? Unless this behavior has been typical during the relationship, perhaps something else is underlying it.

OP, is his behavior in character or out of character for him?

Edited by TBoneTX

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wrong, many take women late into their third trimester with doctor's approval. Delta for example, has no restrictions

http://www.babycenter.com/0_airline-policies-for-pregnant-travelers_6976.bc

But OP in your case I would not travel

US airlines typically do not require any documentation or have any travel restrictions until the last month of pregnancy, whereas many international flights do require medical clearance starting at 28-weeks.

Here's a link to some information of travel/due dates for International Carriers, including Delta which seems the most lax:

http://www.cheapflights.com/news/air-travel-and-pregnancy/


American girl and Swiss/Italian boy who met in San Francisco in 2009, moved to Amsterdam in 2014 and married in Switzerland in 2015. Both living and filed for CR-1 from abroad. (L)

USCIS: California Service Center

07/04/2015: I-130 Sent

07/08/2015: NOA 1

07/30/2015: NOA 2

NVC

08/15/2015: NVC Scan

08/24/2015: NVC Case and IIN Received

08/24/2015: DS-261 Completed

08/24/2015: AOS Fee Received

08/26/2015: AOS Fee Marked as Paid

08/28/2015: IV Fee Received

08/31/2015: AOS Package Scanned

09/02/2015: IV Package Scanned

09/02/2015: IV Fee Marked as Paid

09/02/2015: DS-260 Completed

10/07/2015: NVC flagged for Supervisor Review

10/08/2015: Case Complete!!!

10/09/2015: Interview Date Scheduled

10/13/2015: P4 Interview Letter Received

Consulate

11/10/2015: Medical Appointment

11/17/2015: Interview

EKSwp2.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

........... Then, what happens when you land here in the USA or another country and get slapped with a massive medical bill? Not a good way to start off the rest of your life.

The medical cost! I didn't even think of THAT when I gave my piece of advise! The USA has such high medical cost for birth of a child, it would shock your socks off...and you'd be stuck with the whole big-fat bill. There's not free medical care in the USA (unless you're an illegal but that's a whole other subject). It would take many years to pay it off. You have no idea how cold-blooded and relentless bill collectors are here. They would make your life a living Hell.


IR-1/CR-1 Visa

I-130 Sent : 2014-09-06

I-130 NOA1 : 2014-09-08 I-130

I-130 Appr5oved : 2015-02-22

NVC Received : 2015-03-09

Received DS-261 / AOS Bill : 2015-03-20

Pay AOS Bill : 2015-03-28

Send AOS Package : 2015-04-28

Submit DS-261 : 2015-04-25

Receive IV Bill : 2015-04-14

Pay IV Bill : 2015-04-22

Send IV Package : 2015-04-28

Scanned date: 2015-04-28

Check list : 2015-06-07

Check list scanned: 2015-06-10

Sent to Supervisor 49 days after scanned: 2015-07-28

Case Complete 7 days after it went to Supervisor: 2015-08-05

Interview Appointment Letter from NVC: 2015-13-10

Case shows as READY 2015-10-19

Medical done: 2015-16-11

Interview Date: 2015-11-18

APPROVED....GOD IS GREAT!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! :goofy:

Case changed from "Ready" to "AP" on 19th, then to "Issued" on 22nd

Visa was ready for pick up November 3rd in the afternoon

VISA IN HAND! THANK YOU GOD!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×