Exhausted but Hopeful

[Boiler 43,462]

Still think it most likely the unknown woman was the mother.

[Ash.1101 1,755]

Yeah, legal limits of step parents in the US are very low. Without a power of attorney from a LEGAL gaurdian, you can't make medical calls or anything of that nature. Some places won't even give power of attorney to step parents without the courts looking into it because the step parents are technically NOT suppose to have any legal rights to the children until they adopt them and the only way to adopt them is to have BOTH biological parents agree, and one has to give up their legal rights to the child.

"The ability of a stepparent to make decisions on behalf of a stepchild is limited. Unless a stepparent has legally adopted a stepchild, he or she will have no legal right to make legal and medical decisions on behalf of their stepchild. That would mean that you have no right to make a decision on what school he or she attends, or does not attend, or health and medical decisions on their behalf, even if the stepchild wanted you to be involved in the decision making, such as accompanying them to a doctor’s appointment, etc. Your opinions and decisions cannot overrule the rights of a natural parent or guardian to make choices for their children. This is often frustrating when there is a natural bond and affection that exists between a stepparent and a stepchild, and the stepparent is at home with the child on a regular basis while the natural parent or guardian is at work.

A stepparent owes a stepchild the same “duty of care” in their home as any child visiting. This is true in an emergency situation as well. How you are expected to behave depends upon the facts and circumstances surrounding an event, but the stepparent still cannot give legal authorization for treatment of a stepchild at a hospital or other medical facility. Only the natural parent(s) or legal guardian(s) can consent."

When people say "What happens if the girl gets sick" Yeah. She may be able to care for her at home, but if something dire happens they'll need to contact the actual parents. One of the first things my fiance talked about was his rights towards my daughter who is not biologically his. It's important to know what you can and can't do, even if you're just watching a person under the age of 18.


Is there any reason why the girl isn't staying with her blood relatives who can act on her behalf while she's in the states? And again, if she wants to attend school, she can but she needs someone who is her LEGAL gaurdian to register her.

http://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/child_custody/stepparent-rights-legal-decisions-for-stepchild.htm

Edited June 18, 2015 by Ash.1101

[Boiler 43,462]

I think his Sisters are in the US

[Ash.1101 1,755]

Yeah but I don't believe aunts have legal rights. The only people who do, at least in the US, are the biological parents or a person that is appointed by the courts as a legal gaurdian. Generally speaking, you never have more than two unless you give a power of attorney to make someone a gaurdian but not all states allow that and some only allow a 4-6 month maximum as it can step on peoples toes.

If the girl got hurt or anything like that, they will need to be able to get in contact with the parents, or at least one of them.

I'd personally try to have a plan as to what to do if for some reason she doesn't leave, or if something happens that you have no power over. Shoot, I make these plans when my mom watches my daughter and she lives 25 minutes away.


It'd be awful for something to happen, but then more questions get raised by officials. The situation already seems awkward, but if you put it infront of people who are already skeptical, it's just going to be a really bad situation.

School age is also vague, you're of school age anywhere between 5-17, but the younger she is, the more red flags will spawn.

You definitely need to get your ducks in a row and make a game plan. If X happens, what will you do? A time line as to when she'll go back? What to do if she doesn't go back? Talk to HER family members, talk to YOUR family members, get their opinions. This situation could put both of you in a lot of trouble simply by the discretion of an official who thinks this is shady.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Ash.1101

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Why is your fiancé so evasive about who the mother is ? Why did he not tell you about the child from the beginning and why on earth did they all decide to persuade you at the airport to take the child instead of arranging it and discussing it the whole time you were there ? Is that really ok with you ? He seems to have hidden agendas revealed to you only 5 min before 12 ! That is ok with you ? Total lack of transparency which seems to intrigue you rather than be a warning sign.

[trublubu2 62]

"I am NOT looking for a handout, welfare, food stamp, Medicaid, Medicare, section 8 any of that. (*plus im a conservative christian liberal and know all about MARXISM*)"

LOL!!! i *love* VJ--sometimes this place has fresher plot lines than lame, overdone t.v. shows and movies.

i mean really, how can one ask a question seeking help on a message board but then be arrogant with those who are trying to help and provide some cold, hard realism to the situation--then attribute it to faith and politics all while not realizing that a loved one, who is supposed to have one's best interest at heart (i.e., a fiance) has put one between a rock and a hard place?

so you mean to tell me that this fiance had the whole scenario planned out, decided and staged and there's no alarms/bells/whistles going off about why he'd put her on the spot like that? no red flags a-waving about her being the last to know the plan and potentially being left to hold the bag in america for child trafficking if things go south? no paperwork was given to show that the kid was brought willingly and can get health care or school enrollment? what else will this man and his family spring once the knot has been tied? human nature is human nature, worldwide across time, continents and class. imho, the situation is not looking too good...

[terri_blake 10]

well I went back and looked at some of my previous post and I did mention the little girls name which is Halah so from here on out it's not a problem to refer to her by her first name. Number one Halah being here is not illegal at all. There is no felony involved with a child traveling to another country with a guardian and with permission of her parents and guardians from her home country. American kids do it all the time. When I was little girl about 12 years old I went all the way to Germany for the summer to visit my great grandmother. Big deal!! Children are allowed to travel. Just because somebody's Egyptian doesn't mean they can't come into this country. Some of you referring to that may also be considered racist because of Canadian children come over here nobody said anything. I live near Canada so I would know. halah's entire family knows that she is here and is happy that she is here! she's been legally admitted into this country by an immigration officer at the border. She is here to spend the summer with me in Michigan. and she will be just fine. I'm still getting married to my fiance. We have taken lots and lots of pictures together. We have plenty of proof to support our relationship. Our petition has already been approved. I'm just waiting for the rest of the process to continue. By the way we are being processed at the California processing center. Some of you all are still being processed at Texas. Evidently it was meant to be because we were jumped the head of the line and send to Cali.

Edited June 18, 2015 by terri_blake

[ricnally 258]

One of your earlier topics was about this child, i think. You were having serious doubts about your fiance bringing this child with him (which i assume you shared with him). Now suddenly, she shows up at the airport and gets pushed into your arms at the gate? And you take her with you? Crazy. Your naivete is frightening, and I just hope you don't get screwed in some serious and irrevocable way over all of this.

[Cathi 5,610]

She is "school age" and she will be going back before the exp date however my future husband is her guardian. I am practically her stepmom.

Why are you being so evasive with your answers? School age could be anywhere from 4 years old through 18.

People are trying to give you honest answers and you are being defensive. Being a conservative Christian not looking for handouts has zero to do with the fact that you took a child that is not yours here to live. In fact if the child gets ill or needs medical care(God Forbid)who do you think will pay for her medical care? Answer:US tax payers, that is a handout. If you decide to keep her here illegally after her B2 expires and enroll her in public schools, once again US tax payers are the ones who pay.

I am going to be honest in saying you are naive. This family is taking advantage of you and all you can do is comment on the motherly "bond" you have with a child you can't even communicate with, other than smiling. I find it very hard to believe you knew nothing about this plan prior to 5 minutes before boarding your flight. How did she get a B2? How can a young child get a visitor visa on her own? Did you even ask? Or did all you care about was your selfish desire to take this child to the US and play mommy for a while? You can't just take a child to the US and presume that you or your fiance can petition for her, neither of you are her parents, it doesn't matter if he is her so called guardian. If her father is here in the US legally he can petition for her, or your sister can. But I would imagine that because your sister never knew this child existed or has never met her that it would not be easy for her to petition for her considering that she is separated from her father and she will need to prove some sort of bona fide family relationship with the him.

[terri_blake 10]

One of your earlier topics was about this child, i think. You were having serious doubts about your fiance bringing this child with him (which i assume you shared with him). Now suddenly, she shows up at the airport and gets pushed into your arms at the gate? And you take her with you? Crazy. Your naivete is frightening, and I just hope you don't get screwed in some serious and irrevocable way over all of this.

listen, I won't make the same mistakes I've made in the past on this message board. I pretty much know how to maneuver my way throughout these different discussion posts. saying im naive is your personal opinion and you have every right to feel that way. But evidently I'm not that naive if I came on to this website to open up my situation to others and ask for feedback. I admitted to having cold feet, being confused, having second thoughts etc. So I don't think that would describe me as being naive. Maybe a good word to use instead would be helpful, optimistic, or positive thinking. I've always looked at the glass as being half full and people who type things as you have usually don't see the glass at all. your glass is probably shattered somewhere in in a trash bag. why don't you go out to the dollar store and get yourself a glass bring it home wash it fill it up with cold water and have a sip.

U seem parched.

[Cathi 5,610]

well I went back and looked at some of my previous post and I did mention the little girls name which is Halah so from here on out it's not a problem to refer to her by her first name. Number one Halah being here is not illegal at all. There is no felony involved with a child traveling to another country with a guardian and with permission of her parents and guardians from her home country. American kids do it all the time. When I was little girl about 12 years old I went all the way to Germany for the summer to visit my great grandmother. Big deal!! Children are allowed to travel. Just because somebody's Egyptian doesn't mean they can't come into this country. Some of you referring to that may also be considered racist because of Canadian children come over here nobody said anything. I live near Canada so I would know. halah's entire family knows that she is here and is happy that she is here! she's been legally admitted into this country by an immigration officer at the border. She is here to spend the summer with me in Michigan. and she will be just fine. I'm still getting married to my fiance. We have taken lots and lots of pictures together. We have plenty of proof to support our relationship. Our petition has already been approved. I'm just waiting for the rest of the process to continue. By the way we are being processed at the California processing center. Some of you all are still being processed at Texas. Evidently it was meant to be because we were jumped the head of the line and send to Cali.

Racist, seriously? No one here has even come close to even hinting that race plays a part in any of this. There is no need to be so dramatic. And since you have mentioned this girl in prior topics your story of her being handed to you 5 minutes before your flight without any knowledge whatsoever of their plan, seems even less believable.

[TBoneTX 43,069]

The OP has been subjected to administrative action for two violations of this Terms of Service tenet in one post:

"Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, harass, insult, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users."

The OP later added another violating statement.

This thread is moved from the K-1 Process forum to General Immigration Discussion, because the topic is less about K-1 matters than about other issues. Furthermore, the thread is being locked for review. In the meantime, it is not to be restarted or referred to elsewhere.

TBoneTX

VJ Moderation

[Ryan H 3,791]

***After reviewing this thread, it will remain closed to any additional discussion. Do not restart this thread or refer to it in any future discussions.***