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My wife has a friend that is about 35 and has only been in the United States for a little over a year and she's married to an american that is retired and is 65 and when they got married, he made her sign a pre-nup when she got over here stating she will get NOTHING if they get divorced or he dies. He told her that she could get a lawyer to read over the papers if she wanted, knowing she wouldn't have the money to do that. When she got here, he paid for everything and he took care of her and my wife said the house looked very nice and very huge and you could tell that he was well to do and also retired getting monthly checks from pension and retirement. My wife's friend now has a part-time job and he keeps track of every hour she works. He will not let her get her own bank account. Since getting a part-time job (my wife said she gets paid $8.05/hr and is only part-time), he tells her he don't have any money and she needs to pay for the groceries and if they go anywhere. So it sounds he's saving his money and just spending hers. He tells her to sign the check so he can deposit into HIS bank account. So there's no way for her to save any money back. Her husband won't allow her to use the phone before or after a certain times of day, morning or night. Will not let her get her own phone. He says you don't need a phone cause he'll always be with her and he'll be there to pick her up for work, so there's no reason for her to have a phone, he says. If she uses the internet, she can't stay on very long cause he wants her to spend more time with him. He also won't let her go anywhere without him and when he does the garden work, he wants her out there. He wants her to be with him always. My wife was talking to her when she got off work and after maybe 10 minutes, he told her to get off, it's after 10pm. She said she wants to wait til she gets her green card and then leave him. My wife told her she needs to stand up for herself and stop letting him treat her that way. She says she would but she's afraid he might kick her out of the house and she has no money and no place to go. Any advice and I'm afraid if something doesn't happen now, if he's got a God complex or whatever you want to call it and she does something wrong, he could literally lock her in a room and nobody would know a thing and her family in the Philippines does NOT know how he's treating her or even that they filed a pre-nup, otherwise she said that they would be upset and she doesn't want them to know what is happening to her. I'm just worried something bad could happen to her and nobody would know....

Any advice please on what my wife should try to get across to her or perhaps would it be in our place to report what's going on and if that is the case....HOW? (Hence why I am posting on here, cause I personally don't know what to do. The girl doesn't deserve this life to be treated like a slave and not allowed to really have any fun.)

Edited by Cmptrsdeal

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Could you help her go home, buy her a ticket?


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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This is the reason why filipina need to attend CFO seminar before leaving her country to be with their husband or fiance

they discussed this and what they need to do if their husband treated them this way. I remember my wife made a joke that...oh I thought domestic violence is just when your hubby hit you ... but they did mention in the seminar that when a wife is not treated well and she's not receiving money from her hubby is a part of domestic violence. I'm not sure what the seminar told them what to do but ask your wife if she can remember.

This is sad. it's a consequence of taking a risk leaving your country and be with the person you don't know. my wife and I met in kuwait and dated for 6 months ang another 6 months chatting when she finished her contract as a nurse and went back home to the philippines. we got married and stay together in kuwait for 2 years because I work there .we're both thankful we found both the right one.

I just hope this story will be a lesson for filipina.

anyway back to the question ask your wife about what has been told to them at the seminar.

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Could you help her go home, buy her a ticket?

She wants to stay here in the US though. She told my wife that she wants to stay cause it's her first real shot of making something of herself and she feels shamed by what is happening.

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This is the reason why filipina need to attend CFO seminar before leaving her country to be with their husband or fiance

they discussed this and what they need to do if their husband treated them this way. I remember my wife made a joke that...oh I thought domestic violence is just when your hubby hit you ... but they did mention in the seminar that when a wife is not treated well and she's not receiving money from her hubby is a part of domestic violence. I'm not sure what the seminar told them what to do but ask your wife if she can remember.

This is sad. it's a consequence of taking a risk leaving your country and be with the person you don't know. my wife and I met in kuwait and dated for 6 months ang another 6 months chatting when she finished her contract as a nurse and went back home to the philippines. we got married and stay together in kuwait for 2 years because I work there .we're both thankful we found both the right one.

I just hope this story will be a lesson for filipina.

anyway back to the question ask your wife about what has been told to them at the seminar.

She said that it was emotional and pyschological abuse and that it needs to be reported... She thinks the girl is just afraid if she reports it, she has no place to go or live and going home is not an option at this point...

Edited by Cmptrsdeal

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There is a womens domestic violence advocate that can help her. What state is she in? I can find out who to call. I had a friend with the same situation. My friend left her husband then went to non-profit organization that helps victims... they typically offer housing and pro-bono lawyer to help for everything... even adjusting her status....

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She said that it was emotional and pyschological abuse and that it needs to be reported... She thinks the girl is just afraid if she reports it, she has no place to go or live and going home is not an option at this point...

the truth is ..it's very difficult to give advice here. We just heard the other side. We still didn't know the reason of the old guy why he's doing this to her. Maybe he knew right from the start that she will just used him to get a green card. So the old guy doesn't want her to have her own money so she cannot leave him. Anyway there's no physical abuse mentioned. just tell her to talk to her husband tell him she knows exactly what to do if

he will not change the way he treat her.

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Have her contact Catholic Charities in her area.


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06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

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01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

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07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

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There is a womens domestic violence advocate that can help her. What state is she in? I can find out who to call. I had a friend with the same situation. My friend left her husband then went to non-profit organization that helps victims... they typically offer housing and pro-bono lawyer to help for everything... even adjusting her status....

I'm sure this is what my wife is telling me before that the CFO seminar had been discussed to them

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~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits from Moving to the US and Your New Life In America - As similar topics are discussed here.~~


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There is a womens domestic violence advocate that can help her. What state is she in? I can find out who to call. I had a friend with the same situation. My friend left her husband then went to non-profit organization that helps victims... they typically offer housing and pro-bono lawyer to help for everything... even adjusting her status....

She lives in Florida. We live in Ohio.

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I believe your wife is giving you a lot of incorrect information and probably trying to get some money out of you

In another post you posted your wife told it is cost $380 to renew RN licenses in Philippines (That would be 2 months salary nurse pay in Philippines).

My wife has been a RN in Philippines since 2006 and has renewed 2 times.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/537392-philippines-nursing-license-for-cgfns/

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