Did you have any concerns before marriage?

[Tired of wait 0]

Did you have any concerns before marriage? like if you gonna adapt to new life, find a job, miss your family? or were you sure and positive that was going to work?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Marriage is scary!

Then you deal

But all those feelings are normal.

[Tired of wait 0]

oh thank you, lol

[aruadha 58]

Did you have any concerns before marriage? like if you gonna adapt to new life, find a job, miss your family? or were you sure and positive that was going to work?

I know my fiance has spoken of his fear about finding a job over here. And missing his family as well. He wants to be able to provide for us. So the job things is a big deal. As far as marrying me, I don't think he is scared about that part. I hope anyway

[sweetswinks 400]

Not afraid of the marriage part, we're incredibly compatible and we have similar backgrounds, life experiences, no baggage etc.

We knew early on we wanted to marry each other, we've lived together for 3 months in a tiny bedroom in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania, living with his wonderful family, we were both unemployed and we loved every minute of it. We had so many adventures!

I am worried about finding a job, I have hip surgery coming up so I've been worried about how long it will be til i can drive again etc.

Edited May 28, 2014 by sweetswinks

[Wendy71 26]

My fiancé and I have both been married before we talked earlier in our relationship of our fears due to being hurt in our previous marriage, we have a lot in common with family background and the way we were raised. Communication, trust and honesty are the most important things for the both of us, yes this may sound a little mushy Lol but we can both honestly say that we now know what true love is and what the meaning of a soul mate is. My fear is being able to find a job when I get there, I know I will miss my family a lot and my fiancé has made it a priority to have internet so I can communicate with them on Skype. I am beyond excited about spending the rest of my life with him and cannot wait to marry him

[Musical 3]

We have both been married before and although we thought we had no baggage, it's not until you are with someone you can trust and have faith in that you realise you may not have dealt with all quite like you thought you had. We both appreciate what we have and feel very blessed and lucky to have found each other. However, submitting the paperwork and taking it out of our hands, suddenly makes everything that much more real. We, neither of is, have cold feet, but we now realise that this is happening! We are going to have to get used to living in and sharing someone's space again - a scary thought! Wonderful and exciting, but scary too. I'm glad to hear I am not alone in having these thoughts and feelings at a time when everything is very exciting. We love each other wholeheartedly and can't wait to be together....we've just been there and done that and want to do all we can to ensure we are together forever, soul mates is exactly how I would describe us and I know these feelings of uncertainty will pass as we carry on this journey.

Very very excited for the future! ??

[Ontarkie 13,902]

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New Life In America, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures~~

[agnesb 47]

I had no concerns at all, maybe it helped that I already lived in a foreign country anyway and change for me always means new opportunity :-)

[D N Medellin COL 75]

We have both been married before and although we thought we had no baggage, it's not until you are with someone you can trust and have faith in that you realise you may not have dealt with all quite like you thought you had. We both appreciate what we have and feel very blessed and lucky to have found each other. However, submitting the paperwork and taking it out of our hands, suddenly makes everything that much more real. We, neither of is, have cold feet, but we now realise that this is happening! We are going to have to get used to living in and sharing someone's space again - a scary thought! Wonderful and exciting, but scary too. I'm glad to hear I am not alone in having these thoughts and feelings at a time when everything is very exciting. We love each other wholeheartedly and can't wait to be together....we've just been there and done that and want to do all we can to ensure we are together forever, soul mates is exactly how I would describe us and I know these feelings of uncertainty will pass as we carry on this journey.

Very very excited for the future! ??

"it's not until you are with someone you can trust and have faith in that you realise you may not have dealt with all quite like you thought you had." Very wise words. A good marraige, if you allow it to, will show the best and the worst (character flaws) of the mates and it's up to the individual mate to learn and grow from this experience with the hopefull end result that BOTH partners have this same objective.

It has been said before about choosing our mate to "Pick carefully and then treat kindly".

[Kiwinyc 62]

We were both married before and have two children each. We knew we were meant to be with each other but beyond the declarations of love we also spent much of the time while waiting for the process, talking through all our concerns. We have combined our familiies, we had to discuss common ground and compromise on parenting, and discipline. A big part of our discussion was also finances - agreement about he was going to support me until I would be able to work, and what it was costing me to move my life across the world to his. I would would say that every concern and every frustration - however minor - needs to be aired & discussed. You need to know that you can talk to your partner about ANYTHING and I think that you can guage how well you are likely to succeed together based on these conversations.

I had few concerns about how I was going to cope culturally or away from my home - I had already lived in the US for 9 years 2 decade ago and lived in two further countries after leaving my home country.

But I also knew I couldn't pick a better partner for all effort I was making and the challenges that faced us. We make a great team.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Its normal to worry, but in our case I knew that we would be able to overcome any trials that would come our way, and three years later we are happier than ever. We have survived periods of umemployment but have always gotten by because one of us was always working, we have a son now and we have been through a deployment. It hasn't always been easy but its always been worth it Goodluck

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I knew that getting married would be fine because my wife is a perfect fit for me and we are a team.

I'm moving to the US in 5 weeks and I know that I can deal with missing my family but I must admit I'm nervous about the whole finding a job situation. It's natural to be apprehensive and a little concerned before such a huge step change in your life but if you believe in yourself and share your concerns with your partner you will be fine.

[Ortolan 381]

I was concerned that he would miss his family too much but everything is going fine; we Skype with them every week, multiple times and that's fun, also we send letters and cards back and forth. We set up an online folder to share photos, and that really helps (and we take more photos now, too). We work at maintaining good contact and conversation over the miles.

[Erica & L 50]

I never ever thought I'd get married, let alone as soon as I did. We came to the US with the intent to visit and then return to Canada and figure out how we could make this work because at the time, DOMA laws hadn't changed allowing gay couples to pursue immigration. When we found out, we decided the best thing to do was to get married and start a life here. We want to have an actual wedding in the future when we have the money etc, but I was definitely nervous even for the court house wedding.

I miss my friends a lot, but I'm estranged from most of my family. Biggest change was being in the south for a year, while previously living and growing up in a very progressive city on the west coast. We are going to move to Portland in a few months, and even though it won't be Vancouver, it'll be much closer and I can visit!