Do Not Marry A Man From Nigeria! They Are Very Violent People....

[AlwaysBelieve 3]

I went to Nigeria in 2012 and married my husband. He was wonderful and loving when I was in Nigeria and I felt like the luckiest women alive. I worked really hard to get him home as I got pregnant while in Nigeria. I got my husband home in 10 months without out an attorney. The very next day he was home in America this other person came out of him. To make a long story short, he begin to first verbally abused me, then came the threats of physical harm and finally the physical harm. I called the police for a year in a half and finally I was give a protective order against him and he is not allowed to see our son. I never new a man could be so violent as I grew up in a loving, caring home. This man is truly the devil himself, I have no doubt. My attorney and I are now working to get a emergency immigration haring so have him deported back to his country. We are just waiting to hear back from immigration.

Be careful women when marrying men from Africa for my friends tells me they are all violent. But i would not marry anyone from Nigeria unless you want to suffer. I know that all men from Nigeria is not violent but they are few and far apart. PLEASE BEWARE AND PLEASE BE CAREFUL...

[Pitaya 2,576]

~Moved from Bringing Family Members of USC to America to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum~

[HollyGolightly 72]

Sorry that you learned of your husband's true colors late. Be thankful that it isn't too late and that you are alive, well and are able to move on from this. I don't think situations like these are specific to Nigerian men. There are violent and malevolent people out there no matter where they come from. Immigration issues force some of us to hurry and take leaps before truly getting to know the people we're committing with and most do end up with buyer's remorse. It doesn't always turn out like that though. There are quite a lot of us that also end up with happy endings. You just can't know and that is always the risk with life amongst all things.

[isoballer 7]

Sorry to hear about your troubles.. and i hope that he goes back to nigeria and leaves you in peace I know that it is hard to tolerate such things but you have done a admirable job in saving your life from him, hope you have a good life ahead

Edited April 6, 2014 by Hrithik9

[Boiler 43,558]

Let us know how you get along with the deportation.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. But, did you not read the warnings about the culture? I know there will be a quite a few of 'it can happen with men from any culture', but while that is true the prevalence does widely vary.

Maybe it would be helpful if you could talk a little bit about the red flags that you experienced or any doubts about him that you ignored?

[jhammin 4]

Hope your ok and your son as well. Pray to God! He will never leave you. GodBless.

[AmyWrites 593]

I won't be PC but...

This is why it's so important to have a very thorough understanding of the culture of the person you are marrying. Simply put, our ideas of "respect" and "how to treat men/women" differ greatly from some countries. People in high fraud countries get more scrutiny, I am sure, also because COs are aware that marriages between USCs and people of certain cultures have a higher likelihood of failing. I am in no way blaming OP.

I am glad you are safe now. I am glad you kicked this man out to the curb and didn't give him more chances. Please let us know how this hearing goes.

[PallasAthena 101]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am glad that you and your son are safe. I hope that this POS goes back to wherever he came from.

Like someone else posted, would you mind giving us red flags that way others (in similar situations?) could be helped?

Hoping for the best for you.

[Hypnos 6,576]

All generalisations are wrong.

[ManCharsey 254]

As sorry I am for you regarding your situation and happy that you took measures to ensure he longer hurts you, I would want you to take the time to learn about the fallacy of hasty generalization in philosophy. To generalize that all Nigerian men because you met a bad one or a couple of your friends met bad ones is a very big error which you shouldn't ever repeat again. It is like someone outside the US saying all american women are disrespectful and obnoxious because they met a few who fit in that category or the media creates that stereotype in the eyes of people through movies etc, but we here know that is so far from the truth.

A lot of African men are rather good and caring people and have a deep sense of family. They might have different cultures and how they relate to/with people might be different but I know a whole LOT of them and have spent a lot of time in all the continents (except Australia) in the world because of the nature of my work and I can tell you there are good and bad men everywhere. What would you say then to the men who beat up their girlfriends and wives everyday here in the US. A typical case is Jennifer Hudson's (Yes the RnB artist) mother and sister's case (Google it up if you don't know about it already), would that mean that all American men are violent and killers?? NO! So before you start stereotyping wrongly and making very false hasty generalizations, perhaps take the time to research more about cultures of the world.

[ManCharsey 254]

I won't be PC but...

This is why it's so important to have a very thorough understanding of the culture of the person you are marrying. Simply put, our ideas of "respect" and "how to treat men/women" differ greatly from some countries. People in high fraud countries get more scrutiny, I am sure, also because COs are aware that marriages between USCs and people of certain cultures have a higher likelihood of failing. I am in no way blaming OP.

I am glad you are safe now. I am glad you kicked this man out to the curb and didn't give him more chances. Please let us know how this hearing goes.

It worries me when people make such wrong assumptions without facts. Where did you get it that - There is a higher likelihood of marriages between US citizens and people in so-called high fraud countries are likely to fail?? You are aware that Russia is a high fraud country too..so does it mean, it is advisable for American citizens to be wary of anybody from Russia because they might be phony?? I think you should desist from making claims have no basis or proof and which you have not thoroughly researched. Stereotyping and hasty generalizations have being proven to be very wrong all the time!

[Boiler 43,558]

It worries me when people make such wrong assumptions without facts. Where did you get it that - There is a higher likelihood of marriages between US citizens and people in so-called high fraud countries are likely to fail?? You are aware that Russia is a high fraud country too..so does it mean, it is advisable for American citizens to be wary of anybody from Russia because they might be phony?? I think you should desist from making claims have no basis or proof and which you have not thoroughly researched. Stereotyping and hasty generalizations have being proven to be very wrong all the time!

My guess is that they read one of the numerous threads on this site.

[ManCharsey 254]

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. But, did you not read the warnings about the culture? I know there will be a quite a few of 'it can happen with men from any culture', but while that is true the prevalence does widely vary.

Maybe it would be helpful if you could talk a little bit about the red flags that you experienced or any doubts about him that you ignored?

Do you have proof to back what you are saying about the prevalence?? I have spent time in almost all the continents in the world and in several countries (except Australia) because of the nature of my work..including in Africa where I stayed in Ghana, Nigeria, South Africa and Egypt and I can tell you you are soooo wrong. As much as it is true the culture there varies from here, most people there actually have a deep sense of family and that explains why they practice the extended family system. The baby-mama, baby-daddy concept is soo foreign there where as it is soo common here. Divorce is almost like a taboo there. So I don't know where people get all these concepts about other cultures when they haven't even experienced it firsthand. I have a lot of African friends and most are very educated and in relationships and marriages that are very peaceful and have been going for over 10+ years.

[ManCharsey 254]

My guess is that they read one of the numerous threads on this site.

Well there are tons of great stories on this same web site that would counter these stories by over 10-1. The human mind is just susceptible to keeping track of negative information than positive and that is why we all vividly remember bad incidents that happened over 15 years ago but will struggle to remember all the great things that have happened in our lives even in the past 5 years. There's a communications concept called Framing and Gate keeping that the media even employs to keep us attached to news stories and our minds use that same concepts too. So let's not be quick to judge and stereotype when we haven't thoroughly proven what we are claiming. Forgive me but my work background is in an area where everything needs to be proven to the point else it will cost a LOT in life and money. So I am very particular about facts than mere assumptions.