Husband Wants Divorce. We were only Married since August 2013. HELP!

[ashiteru18 0]

Hello I am a newbie and first time,

I NEED SOME HELP. I AM SO SORRY IT WILL BE A LIL BIT LONG FOR YOU TO UNDERSTANT MY STORY! PLEASE BARE WITH ME.

Please read the following:

• Husband does not buy groceries for he eat with his parents upstairs and, so I ate given food from friends and church.

• No regular allowance, I feel trapped in the full basement.

• I was so worried of my physical situation because most of the time I am alone waiting my husband for the whole day.

• No regular groceries because he always brings left over foods from his job

. • He deprives me of my rights as a wife to work, even though I have education and a college degree.

• Most of the time he spends time with his parents and not with me as his wife. We never discuss about our future together or any plans with status adjustment.

• Sometimes when his step father gets drunk, he throws bad words to me like, '######' which traumatizes me. That is why I don’t like to go with them.

• The heater is shut off or set very low during day time when my husband is work. I feel so cold on the basement that is why sometimes I go to library or church and friend to warm my body.

• I love my husband very much. I clean, I cook, I take care of him every day, and when he gets sick. I feel I am wronged. He doesn’t meet his obligations and responsibilities as a husband.

• The worst thing happened was when he left me asleep on December 2013.Together with his parents (my in-laws) they went to some place again to celebrate New Year's Eve. He doesn't give me enough importance and concern. He didn't think that something might happen to me during that night when they were away. I don't feel I am his priority at this time.

I met my husband through Facebook last December of 2010 until he officially visited me in the Philippines last August 2011. Then he filed a petition for me last February 5, 2012. I received my Fiancée Visa last February 2013. God knows how much I love my husband. I love the way he communicated with me through email and on webcam when I was in still in my country. He promised me everything and said I’m the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life. I was so happy to know that from him. He was caring and loving when I was in the Philippines. He regularly replies to every message I sent him on chat back then. Despite the fact I was busy working at the office and taking a Master’s degree program I was still able to manage my time with him. Then we both decided to get married. My parents gave me their blessings and agreed with my decision. So, I resigned from my job from the office as a secretary of the Technical Director where I worked for almost five years. I also quit attending my Master’s degree classes so I can be with him. Before I came here I asked the Lord for guidance. I needed His guidance because I could not imagine how my life will be like away from my parents, relatives, friends and co-workers, and to live the rest of my life with him in a whole new environment here in the US. Because I love him I gave up hundreds of people whom I love and cherish. It was a tough decision for me to make since I have never been away from home, my country. I was blessed to have a loving family and good environment and a successful career when I was in the Philippines. Now I feel so sad that those things are gone. My husband decided to visit me again in the Philippines for the second time last June 3- 13, to bring me to America. During that time I had mixed emotions. I felt sad for leaving my homeland and at the same time happy for I will be with the man I loved forever. I arrived in United States of America last June 2013. I felt very happy when I came here and I even asked myself whether I was dreaming or not. I am now with the one I love and be with him for the rest of my life. I thank the Lord for bringing me here. When I arrived here, my husband parents warmly welcomed me at the airport. We live at his parent’s house in a full basement. At first everything was fine and we’re all okay with each other, I watched and observed their daily activities. Until one day I realized how much my husband spends time with his mom – MORE than with me. They would go out until late in the evening to walk the dog. He spends most of the time with his mother upstairs watching TV rather than spending time with me. He always leave me alone in the basement. Sometimes his mother would borrow my husband’s car and would drop him at work at and picks him up again at night time. I remember I was asking his mother if can I go with them when she drives my husband to work and she said no because she will be back right away. In my mind I just want to be with my husband and would just like to get out of the basement for a while and at the same time enjoy their company. They always go out without me. There was a time when I got home from the church around 11:30 in the morning and found out that he and his mom went somewhere without waiting for me. I read his note that her mother woke him up to go to the store. So I called his step dad and asked him where my husband was and he said maybe they bought a filter then I noticed they’ve been gone from 11:30am to 4:00pm just to get a filter. I felt I have no right to judge him because they have their own routine in life before I arrived here though I have to remind them that he is already married, that we should spend more time together. Every time I get mad at him or confronted him to remind him with all the changes in his life now, they misinterpreted it by saying that I’m controlling him. I don’t know what to do as it is hard to live with in-laws. I remember his step father asking me why I always go to church in the morning and my husband is not morning goer anyway. I asked myself why I have to explain everything since I am the wife. With all these, I am worried that my husband is going to work everyday and yet I am left trapped in the basement alone and cold. I’m not comfortable as they turn the heater off when my husband goes to work. I have not apply for adjustment status for he will not sign the form 864. He is afraid of what it is being said in the papers, so he decided to divorce me and want to send me back home.

Do I have a case against him?

What should I do? To all negative commentator just save your negative words for me as I am already confused and do not know what to do. Please do not add more frustration. I need some guidance here.

Edited January 20, 2014 by ashiteru18

[belinda63 2,990]

Sounds like the two of you have no marriage. I don't see any abuse. He has not verbally tormented you, he has not physically struck you, he has not locked you up. In a nutshell you have a marriage that is not working just like a lot of Americans do.Do you have your green card yet or have you applied for it?

[ashiteru18 0]

Sounds like the two of you have no marriage. I don't see any abuse. He has not verbally tormented you, he has not physically struck you, he has not locked you up. In a nutshell you have a marriage that is not working just like a lot of Americans do.Do you have your green card yet or have you applied for it?

No like I said in the post, he will not sign the papers due to what it stated there. He is afraid and does not want to be responsible for me.

[apple21 953]

Looks to me you're better off going back home. Divorce him and move on with your life. You deserve to be happy.

[Cathi 5,629]

what do you mean do you have a case against him, a case for what? There hasn't been any abuse according to you. If you don't have a green card and you haven't filed adjustment of status your only real option is to go home. Sounds like you will be better off, you can go back to finish your masters, work, and be back with your family. Good luck!

[TBoneTX 43,531]

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to the "Effects of Major Changes" forum -- OP is beyond the K-1 process and thread fits better in the destination forum. ***

[christeen 966]

If he has not filed for adjustment of status... Unfortunately, you have no status here... I think you might be better off going back. And without filing for AOS, it is not a matter of him denying you the wife right to work, you are not eligible to work in the USA... Sometimes it is tough to cut the apron strings from mom, and that is near to impossible to do while living in her basement. Have you sat and talked to him about how you feel... This is step 1. But if he refuses to file papers for you, I would RUN home as it shows he is using that to control you and will never change... He took responsibility for your well being when you married, to say he doesn't want the responsibility for you... Unacceptable. You have an education and career and should go back and peruse your life and career... Don't waste yourself on a mom as boy that wants a house maid...

[InHisTime 110]

Hello I am a newbie and first time,

I NEED SOME HELP. I AM SO SORRY IT WILL BE A LIL BIT LONG FOR YOU TO UNDERSTANT MY STORY! PLEASE BARE WITH ME.

Please read the following:

• Husband does not buy groceries for he eat with his parents upstairs and, so I ate given food from friends and church.

• No regular allowance, I feel trapped in the full basement.

• I was so worried of my physical situation because most of the time I am alone waiting my husband for the whole day.

• No regular groceries because he always brings left over foods from his job

. • He deprives me of my rights as a wife to work, even though I have education and a college degree.

• Most of the time he spends time with his parents and not with me as his wife. We never discuss about our future together or any plans with status adjustment.

• Sometimes when his step father gets drunk, he throws bad words to me like, '######' which traumatizes me. That is why I don’t like to go with them.

• The heater is shut off or set very low during day time when my husband is work. I feel so cold on the basement that is why sometimes I go to library or church and friend to warm my body.

• I love my husband very much. I clean, I cook, I take care of him every day, and when he gets sick. I feel I am wronged. He doesn’t meet his obligations and responsibilities as a husband.

• The worst thing happened was when he left me asleep on December 2013.Together with his parents (my in-laws) they went to some place again to celebrate New Year's Eve. He doesn't give me enough importance and concern. He didn't think that something might happen to me during that night when they were away. I don't feel I am his priority at this time.

I met my husband through Facebook last December of 2010 until he officially visited me in the Philippines last August 2011. Then he filed a petition for me last February 5, 2012. I received my Fiancée Visa last February 2013. God knows how much I love my husband. I love the way he communicated with me through email and on webcam when I was in still in my country. He promised me everything and said I’m the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life. I was so happy to know that from him. He was caring and loving when I was in the Philippines. He regularly replies to every message I sent him on chat back then. Despite the fact I was busy working at the office and taking a Master’s degree program I was still able to manage my time with him. Then we both decided to get married. My parents gave me their blessings and agreed with my decision. So, I resigned from my job from the office as a secretary of the Technical Director where I worked for almost five years. I also quit attending my Master’s degree classes so I can be with him. Before I came here I asked the Lord for guidance. I needed His guidance because I could not imagine how my life will be like away from my parents, relatives, friends and co-workers, and to live the rest of my life with him in a whole new environment here in the US. Because I love him I gave up hundreds of people whom I love and cherish. It was a tough decision for me to make since I have never been away from home, my country. I was blessed to have a loving family and good environment and a successful career when I was in the Philippines. Now I feel so sad that those things are gone. My husband decided to visit me again in the Philippines for the second time last June 3- 13, to bring me to America. During that time I had mixed emotions. I felt sad for leaving my homeland and at the same time happy for I will be with the man I loved forever. I arrived in United States of America last June 2013. I felt very happy when I came here and I even asked myself whether I was dreaming or not. I am now with the one I love and be with him for the rest of my life. I thank the Lord for bringing me here. When I arrived here, my husband parents warmly welcomed me at the airport. We live at his parent’s house in a full basement. At first everything was fine and we’re all okay with each other, I watched and observed their daily activities. Until one day I realized how much my husband spends time with his mom – MORE than with me. They would go out until late in the evening to walk the dog. He spends most of the time with his mother upstairs watching TV rather than spending time with me. He always leave me alone in the basement. Sometimes his mother would borrow my husband’s car and would drop him at work at and picks him up again at night time. I remember I was asking his mother if can I go with them when she drives my husband to work and she said no because she will be back right away. In my mind I just want to be with my husband and would just like to get out of the basement for a while and at the same time enjoy their company. They always go out without me. There was a time when I got home from the church around 11:30 in the morning and found out that he and his mom went somewhere without waiting for me. I read his note that her mother woke him up to go to the store. So I called his step dad and asked him where my husband was and he said maybe they bought a filter then I noticed they’ve been gone from 11:30am to 4:00pm just to get a filter. I felt I have no right to judge him because they have their own routine in life before I arrived here though I have to remind them that he is already married, that we should spend more time together. Every time I get mad at him or confronted him to remind him with all the changes in his life now, they misinterpreted it by saying that I’m controlling him. I don’t know what to do as it is hard to live with in-laws. I remember his step father asking me why I always go to church in the morning and my husband is not morning goer anyway. I asked myself why I have to explain everything since I am the wife. With all these, I am worried that my husband is going to work everyday and yet I am left trapped in the basement alone and cold. I’m not comfortable as they turn the heater off when my husband goes to work. I have not apply for adjustment status for he will not sign the form 864. He is afraid of what it is being said in the papers, so he decided to divorce me and want to send me back home.

Do I have a case against him?

What should I do? To all negative commentator just save your negative words for me as I am already confused and do not know what to do. Please do not add more frustration. I need some guidance here.

Hi Sis ! I am so sorry while reading your story. I can relate with your experiences. It can't stop me from sharing my story. It brought back to my mind what I also experienced when I was there in the US thru K-1 visa. The difference with me was I didn't marry my ex-Fiance, instead, I went home before my 90 days. And I think that was the best ever decision I made in my life. It was a very tough decision to make, as it was a matter of my heart. It really broke my heart and shed me so many tears during my flight back home as I leave my Fiance. I know we both love each other that was why we decided to work on the immigration papers, but it was just not right for me to continue staying with them and live a miserable life. I live a happy and comfortable life in my home country.

Exactly, that was also my experiences while living together with the mother of my ex-Fiance. I couldn't spend quality time with my ex-Fiance as his mom was always watching / tracking us. And, I think they are unseparable as they always do things together. There were times that they even eat together and not even inviting me. I couldn't forget it was my 1st bday to celebrate together with my Fiance, but his mom just spoiled my day, by asking his son to drive her out. So many times I tried to talk to my ex-Fiance about my feelings, and he acknowledged it, and promised that he will do the right thing for us, but in the end it was frustrating as when his mom says something, everything changes. I respect my Fiance for being a very good son to his mom, and in fact that was one of the reasons why I thought we could make it. I was wrong, as he always considers his mom's decision. I think, his mom will never accept me. I tried to do everything to please her mom, but she was just good in front of me. At my back, I hear a lot of negative thoughts, which I knew wasn't worth of my sacrifices to start life in a strange country. I could not force her to like me.

Sis, I was lucky because before I went to the US, I got a chance to read much about VJ stories and some insights and advices in the site. Knowing and seeing my actual situation in the US, I just thought not to pursue our marriage despite we already have applied our marriage license. I was so scared-- what will happen if after marriage, they will not file on my adjustment of status so I could work and become legally stable in the US. I am a hard working woman, independent, and I want to contribute to the household. I felt so helpless as I used to earn good money in my home country. I just got the feeling that it couldn't happen, as his mom was making things difficult for me, and my fiance is a very obedient son.

IMHO, Sis, you have to talk heart to heart to your husband, since you two are now married. It was bit easy for for me as we didn't marry. If things still didnt work out, the only option you have is going back home. I understand that you have given up your job, everything in the PI. But never lose hope, God will provide..... just call upon His name. Your family and friends will understand you. This was also my earlier fear, I might have a lot of explanations to do, but in the end, if we have good friends and family, they will understand and support. Ultimately, we need to make and stand for our own decision. Without AOS, you couldn't get your GC, so you cannot stay and work legally. Just be strong..... and face realities of life. I too was so down before, but now I could say, life is very good. I have peace of mind which is priceless. I recovered and now back to my very good and enjoyable work. My Fiance still communicates and even plans to make another visit, but I just think the only thing we could be together if he relocates here for good. If I was able to move there, then he should, if he really wants us forever. He wants to petition for me again, but I told him straight that I couldn't live with another roller coaster life again. That was enough for me.

Sis, I hope, in a little way, I was able to make you think rationale. I know it is not easy when it matters our hearts. But pray to God for strength and wisdom so He could direct you to do the best thing. Love yourself..... and never lose hope. I hope your situation changes soon and become better.

God bless and take care always.

[Hollyday 122]

I think you should have a serious talk with him. Maybe you can discuss options like moving out and trying to make this relationship work. But if no - you have to do what's best for you. If there is no adjustment of status, then you won't be able to work. Currently you can do stuff like volunteering. If you drive it might make things easier.

Also i didn't see that they're rejecting you - you can go to church with them, watch TV with them and go shopping with them, can't you? I'm not blaming you for going early or anything. Just trying to see both sides here.

[raven52 233]

Try one serious talk with him, and tell him you are returning home, and his reaction will answer your question,.,.,. I think you should plan on going back to your homland as soon as possible, he has shown no love or compassion for you, and since he will not adjust status, you will have problems any way, have one serious talk, if you get no where, leave ASAP!!!!

[InHisTime 110]

No like I said in the post, he will not sign the papers due to what it stated there. He is afraid and does not want to be responsible for me.

If he doesn't want to be responsible, then why did he petition and marry you ? Was he joking ? He is a jerk.....truly, he doesn't know what marriage is all about. I am not sure if you can file for VAWA, it seems you are being abused emotionally, mentally or psychologically ? Try to consult a lawyer if you have a strong grounds. You deserve to have a legal status in the US so you can start working there.

But, if I were you, I will just come home and start life again.This man needs to grow up and learn how to treat his wife.

Everytime I read story like this, I just feel sick. Why on earth there are people who doesn't know what love is ? This man should have not petitioned you to come to the US and don't want responsibility, making you out of status.

Anyway, I hope you stay strong, and hopefully your relationship would change for the better.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Hello I am a newbie and first time,

I NEED SOME HELP. I AM SO SORRY IT WILL BE A LIL BIT LONG FOR YOU TO UNDERSTANT MY STORY! PLEASE BARE WITH ME.

Please read the following:

• Husband does not buy groceries for he eat with his parents upstairs and, so I ate given food from friends and church.

• No regular allowance, I feel trapped in the full basement.

• I was so worried of my physical situation because most of the time I am alone waiting my husband for the whole day.

• No regular groceries because he always brings left over foods from his job

. • He deprives me of my rights as a wife to work, even though I have education and a college degree.

• Most of the time he spends time with his parents and not with me as his wife. We never discuss about our future together or any plans with status adjustment.

• Sometimes when his step father gets drunk, he throws bad words to me like, '######' which traumatizes me. That is why I don’t like to go with them.

• The heater is shut off or set very low during day time when my husband is work. I feel so cold on the basement that is why sometimes I go to library or church and friend to warm my body.

• I love my husband very much. I clean, I cook, I take care of him every day, and when he gets sick. I feel I am wronged. He doesn’t meet his obligations and responsibilities as a husband.

• The worst thing happened was when he left me asleep on December 2013.Together with his parents (my in-laws) they went to some place again to celebrate New Year's Eve. He doesn't give me enough importance and concern. He didn't think that something might happen to me during that night when they were away. I don't feel I am his priority at this time.

I met my husband through Facebook last December of 2010 until he officially visited me in the Philippines last August 2011. Then he filed a petition for me last February 5, 2012. I received my Fiancée Visa last February 2013. God knows how much I love my husband. I love the way he communicated with me through email and on webcam when I was in still in my country. He promised me everything and said I’m the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his life. I was so happy to know that from him. He was caring and loving when I was in the Philippines. He regularly replies to every message I sent him on chat back then. Despite the fact I was busy working at the office and taking a Master’s degree program I was still able to manage my time with him. Then we both decided to get married. My parents gave me their blessings and agreed with my decision. So, I resigned from my job from the office as a secretary of the Technical Director where I worked for almost five years. I also quit attending my Master’s degree classes so I can be with him. Before I came here I asked the Lord for guidance. I needed His guidance because I could not imagine how my life will be like away from my parents, relatives, friends and co-workers, and to live the rest of my life with him in a whole new environment here in the US. Because I love him I gave up hundreds of people whom I love and cherish. It was a tough decision for me to make since I have never been away from home, my country. I was blessed to have a loving family and good environment and a successful career when I was in the Philippines. Now I feel so sad that those things are gone. My husband decided to visit me again in the Philippines for the second time last June 3- 13, to bring me to America. During that time I had mixed emotions. I felt sad for leaving my homeland and at the same time happy for I will be with the man I loved forever. I arrived in United States of America last June 2013. I felt very happy when I came here and I even asked myself whether I was dreaming or not. I am now with the one I love and be with him for the rest of my life. I thank the Lord for bringing me here. When I arrived here, my husband parents warmly welcomed me at the airport. We live at his parent’s house in a full basement. At first everything was fine and we’re all okay with each other, I watched and observed their daily activities. Until one day I realized how much my husband spends time with his mom – MORE than with me. They would go out until late in the evening to walk the dog. He spends most of the time with his mother upstairs watching TV rather than spending time with me. He always leave me alone in the basement. Sometimes his mother would borrow my husband’s car and would drop him at work at and picks him up again at night time. I remember I was asking his mother if can I go with them when she drives my husband to work and she said no because she will be back right away. In my mind I just want to be with my husband and would just like to get out of the basement for a while and at the same time enjoy their company. They always go out without me. There was a time when I got home from the church around 11:30 in the morning and found out that he and his mom went somewhere without waiting for me. I read his note that her mother woke him up to go to the store. So I called his step dad and asked him where my husband was and he said maybe they bought a filter then I noticed they’ve been gone from 11:30am to 4:00pm just to get a filter. I felt I have no right to judge him because they have their own routine in life before I arrived here though I have to remind them that he is already married, that we should spend more time together. Every time I get mad at him or confronted him to remind him with all the changes in his life now, they misinterpreted it by saying that I’m controlling him. I don’t know what to do as it is hard to live with in-laws. I remember his step father asking me why I always go to church in the morning and my husband is not morning goer anyway. I asked myself why I have to explain everything since I am the wife. With all these, I am worried that my husband is going to work everyday and yet I am left trapped in the basement alone and cold. I’m not comfortable as they turn the heater off when my husband goes to work. I have not apply for adjustment status for he will not sign the form 864. He is afraid of what it is being said in the papers, so he decided to divorce me and want to send me back home.

Do I have a case against him?

What should I do? To all negative commentator just save your negative words for me as I am already confused and do not know what to do. Please do not add more frustration. I need some guidance here.

Time to head on back to the Philippines.

[Sandra G. 5,026]

Considering what you said there is no mental abuse in your case, you just got marriage to a selfish scumbag, it does not make him an abuser tho.We are our choices, unfortunately he is not the kind the man you should consider to have with you for the rest of your life. Life is too short to live in a poor relationship.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

You are trying to convince that you are abused when you are not. There is a big difference between being in an unloving marriage and being abused. When the heat is turned back what stops you from turning it back up ? If he refuses to file for your status your option is to go home. It seems to came to the US to get a green card via a man you didn't know well enough to commit a marriage to. That is the danger of marrying a stranger. Anyone marrying someone from a foreign country should spend months of time together , not just meet once for a short time and then move to a strange place. You made a mistake and will know better next time.

[marapot 3]

ashiteru18,

here's a rather lengthy reply to your original post. i haven't discerned any domestic violence, physical, or sexual abuse from your description but i hope the following helps:

1. HUSBAND'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOTHER. I know you are now the wife but, although you met your husband in DEC 2010, you have only been living together as husband and wife since JUN 2013 (about 8 months). I don't know your husband's age and whether or not he is the only child but from what you have described, he is very close to his mother and may have been so since birth (especially if he is the sole child). I hate to be blunt but, especially if he grew up to be a "Mama's Boy", that life-long attachment to his mother may explain why he still spends a lot of time with his mother. This the same situation described by "InHis Time" above.

I am not making excuses for him and you would think that an adult like him should be "free" of mother at his age now but the fact is, there are a few people who have difficulties breaking that dependency even through adulthood and marriage. This is compounded by the fact that you are pitting 8 months of living together against a lifetime he's lived with Mom. Finally, you coming into his life won't necessarily change the way his mother treats him - if he was a coddled boy, then to his mother, he will always be his "baby" no matter what and she may actually view you as competing for his affection. I wouldn't be surprised if his mother still makes some decisions for him. Unfortunately, most times you don't really get to know a person until after you've been married.

I see that you've made some attempts (although unsuccessful) to become part of their daily routine but don't expect changes to always happen overnight - remember it's 8 months so far with you versus lifetime with her. For the same reason, try adjusting to their schedule (e.g. going to church later instead of early). Also, in the process, you have to somehow be able to convince mom that you are not there to replace her affection. I agree with the posters who advised you to have another serious talk with him.

Bottom Line: The extent that you have to put up with the situation you are currently in depends on your patience and how much you want the marriage to succeed but, although I didn't see any domestic violence (physical or sexual abuse) yet, don't wait until abuse happens. USA is still the land of opportunity and you've already made it this far but then again, what is opportunity and success without happiness. Like other posters mentioned, if your efforts are not getting you anywhere, leave ASAP and go home - you deserve to be happy. You have a very good career potential that you can always re-start back home or in another country.

2. ADJUSTMENT OF STATUS. According to your original post, your husband is "afraid of what is being said in the papers" (i.e. the I-864). I'm sure you already know that the I-864 is the Affidavit of Support form (one of the forms required when he applies for your Adjustment of Status) which he needs to submit to demonstrate that he can adequately financially support you. I hate to be blunt but it seems to me that the reason he is "afraid" to complete / submit the I-864 is because he has to state on the form his financial assets (income, savings/checking, stocks, bonds, etc) and the fact that you both live in his parents' basement seems to indicate his finances may not be in order / may not be adequate at this time. You may use this to convince him to let you work so you can help financially.

FYI - The fact that he brings home leftovers from work, seldom goes to the grocery, and sets the thermostat so low when he leaves for work may be force of habit or due to financial difficulties or both.

3. EMPLOYMENT. The following is from this USCIS K-3/K-4 link:

"Upon admission, K-3 and K-4 nonimmigrant visa holders may obtain employment authorization. They can obtain evidence of eligibility to work legally in the United States by filing Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization. Upon filing an application for adjustment of status, K-3 and K-4 nonimmigrant visa holders may also apply for employment authorization based on that pending application even if the K-3 or K-4 nonimmigrant status expires."

Based on the above excerpt, you should be able to work even before Adjustment of Status is filed.

4. RIGHTS AND PROTECTION FOR FOREIGN-CITIZEN FIANCE(E)S. Again, I haven't discerned any domestic violence, physical, or sexual abuse based on your initial description but here's a US Dept of State resource link that tells you about your Rights, Protection, and Resources as a Foreign-Citizen Fiance(e). Scroll down that page and download the English informational pamphlet. The pamphlet include not only tips and hotlines but also discusses the 3 WAYS that immigrants who are victims of domestice violence, abuse, or specific crimes may apply for LEGAL IMMIGRANT STATUS for themselves and their children (without the need for a sponsor).

Good luck, God Bless, and don't lose hope!

Edited January 20, 2014 by marapot