She Played Me

[Jr.Reed 2]

I brought her over from the Philippines 3 years ago. we have two children together ages 3 & 1. I seem to have miss judged her intentions of coming here. She has expressed her want for her freedom awhile ago. Seems She just wanted to get over here. My Questions are....

1) How do I withdrawl my sponsorship of her K=1 Visa. We have just filed for "removal of conditions".

2) After I withdrawl what Happens? Does she start over as self sponsor, or continue on her own where we are now?

3) What happens with the children if she is sent back? They are both American born.

4) Lastly, Any advice besides, "You should have been more carefull." I Know this. But, I don't want to lose my children to a scam artist.

[canadian_wife 1,791]

She has her green card. You may withdraw your petition to remove conditions, but she can remove them without you

Sorry, she won't be sent back

good luck, sorry for your situation

[Ontarkie 13,918]

Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process and Procedures. Since the OP's wife is no longer in the process of a K-1 and has filed for ROC but appears to be headed for divorce this is the appropriate forum.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

1. You can't, it's too late. You CAN withdraw your support of her I-751 at which point she changes it to a waiver filing. She will eventually need to send the divorce decree to file by herself, with proof of bonafide relationship.

2. She has a GC, she doesn't *need* you anymore to stay here. She doesn't "self-sponsor". The I-864 you signed back with the AOS (the first GC) stays in effect.

3. She won't be sent back. She has her GC and only needs to change the joint filing ROC to waiver filing. If she WANTS to go back that's between her, you and the courts regarding custody.

4. Divorce her, file for custody.

Unless you have evidence she used you (for 3 years and 2 kids) then there's nothing you can do. If you have evidence contact ICE (details at the bottom of this page) an they will do what they do. It's highly unlikely she will be deported, or have her GC taken away. If she really IS a scammer she already knows how to keep her GC.

It would be in your best interest, and the children's interest (unless she's a horrific mother who abuses them) to keep her in the country. This means, don't lie to her about being able to stay here. Tell her you want a divorce, tell her to change to a waiver filing, and be reasonable. being irrational and unreasonable will just look bad at any custody hearings. You will look like a poisonous parent.

[Jr.Reed 2]

She has her green card. You may withdraw your petition to remove conditions, but she can remove them without you

Sorry, she won't be sent back

good luck, sorry for your situation

But we still have an interview where we are supposed to show proff of living together ie... things in both our names, mortgage, bank accounts etc... we haven't done that yet. also we filed for removal of conditions and all she got was a 1 year extension until they decide. so, isn't that still a temporary green card?

[Hypnos 6,576]

She only needs to prove that the marriage was entered into in good faith.

Husbands and wives are not commodities to be bought or sold, to be kept or returned. If she chooses to stay here then she can do so through a waiver filing, as stated above.

[Jr.Reed 2]

She only needs to prove that the marriage was entered into in good faith.

Husbands and wives are not commodities to be bought or sold, to be kept or returned. If she chooses to stay here then she can do so through a waiver filing, as stated above.

I understand that's the whole issue though. "In Good Faith" She told me after filing the last set of forms we filed that she never loved me and that she only came because she had a boyfriend that went abroad and was suppose to send for her but never contacted her. I don't know maybe she thought she could find him. Anyway, she also didn't tell me about a former pregnancy she had that she lost because she didn't go get prenatel care and wanted to hide it from her family until we were at the Embassy in the Philippines. By then she was pregnant rith my child and I had to make sure she took proper care. So I accepted it for the time being but now it all seems to be fitting together. I don't want to send her back because we didn't make it, I want not to be played by someone looking for easy street at the price losing my children. one last thing , her and a friend of hers that is also here got into an argument and the other girl (who was her friend in the philippines) outed her past in the Philippines that she was a prostitute and had more than the one pregnancy and aborted them. This tells me that I was played and that constitutes a "Marriage NOT In Good Faith. That's the reason for my actions. No More no Less. Am I wrong for that?

[LSnBigBear 61]

So sorry to hear your situation. Maybe your title should be different then "she played me" since you and her have been together for 3 years and 2 children. Keep in mind we all are creatures of wants. Maybe you just grew apart since she gained some independence.... You should do your best in holding any grudges as you want your kids close to you as you mentioned. Do not go to the interview and stop any processes you started, file for a divorce and move on. She will not be deported nor will your children. If you can prove she in fact played you for the Visa then you can contact USICS and contact ICE and file papers against her. My guess is after two kids born here that anything you accuse her of will not hold up due to her being here 3 years.

Once again sorry to hear you are going through this. Nothing is certain in life sorry to say. Good luck.

[Hypnos 6,576]

The time to do all of this due diligence was before you got married, not after. This is especially true of countries like the Philippines, whose citizens are known for their emigration-centred culture.

If you can prove she did not enter into the marriage in good faith (i.e. you have recordings of her admissions to you, documents, emails, etc.) then by all means contact ICE. If you don't then it's simply your word against hers, and since ICE cannot prove anything then they will not be able to do anything.

If everything happened as you said then yes, you got played. However, you cannot go back in time and get "un-played". It's already happened, so you should divorce and move on.

[Sandra G. 5,016]

She will be able to file I-751 waiver without your help and stay in the USA. Divorce and move on, but next time be careful,love is blind and you see what you only want to see. Most os scammers have a lot of warning signs such as moving extremely fast to declare their love,asking money when still living in their home Country, getting married after first or second visit etc.

http://cis.org/marriagefraud

[Shiobhan 235]

Its 3 sides to every story, yours may be correct , no one knows but stop the hate, she had 2 kids with you, make her life miserable

the kids will be too, marriages break up, if counselling cant help wish her the best, let her stay here and continue to take care of

your kids in a lifestyle that will afford them a life as yours.May be hard but move on .

[Artisan 138]

But we still have an interview where we are supposed to show proff of living together ie... things in both our names, mortgage, bank accounts etc... we haven't done that yet. also we filed for removal of conditions and all she got was a 1 year extension until they decide. so, isn't that still a temporary green card?

All that means is that she will need to use the divorce papers as part of her waiver. Once she is here there is nothing you can do about sending her back to her country of origin. If you have concrete proof she entered the country under false pretenses you can send it to the appropriate authorities. They would decide on their own if it is worthwhile to process her deportation. Hearsay and rumor won't mean anything if you can't back it up with some sort of documentation e.g. photographs or letters.

The fact that you had a second child together after you were married makes the case almost impossible to prove as it showed she was still participating in the marriage at some level. Marriages fail on a regular basis in the US and no one is going to be penalized for a marriage going bad unless there is significant proof of wrongdoing.

This is why the process is long and complicated. It is designed to give everyone time to learn more about each other and discover any inconsistencies in the stories we have been told.

[garfield529 47]

All that means is that she will need to use the divorce papers as part of her waiver. Once she is here there is nothing you can do about sending her back to her country of origin. If you have concrete proof she entered the country under false pretenses you can send it to the appropriate authorities. They would decide on their own if it is worthwhile to process her deportation. Hearsay and rumor won't mean anything if you can't back it up with some sort of documentation e.g. photographs or letters.

The fact that you had a second child together after you were married makes the case almost impossible to prove as it showed she was still participating in the marriage at some level. Marriages fail on a regular basis in the US and no one is going to be penalized for a marriage going bad unless there is significant proof of wrongdoing.

This is why the process is long and complicated. It is designed to give everyone time to learn more about each other and discover any inconsistencies in the stories we have been told.

Exactly, and most ROCs do not have interviews as long as sufficient documentation was sent in with the application. I know that you are in the emotional phase of this crappy situation right now but focus on your children, get a lawyer, and protect yourself from abuse accusations. If she is doing this, she probably has done her research or has someone directing her on what to do and how to maximize what is in her best interest. This is not certain, but proceed with caution.

[james&olya 1,121]

I hate to tell you this but you are screwed here! If you had only one child together maybe you could make a case for 'not in good faith' but the fact you stayed together and made another baby will pretty much validate her claims to have good-faith marriage. Love is not an issue as far as USCIS is concerned! They trust you, the american citizen, to be a judge of her character and the fact you stayed together this far, you have proven her case. She will get to stay, you still are on the hook for the I-864 and if you are real unlucky a divorce court may decide to use that as a basis to award substantial alimony in addition to child support. Your only chance is if she can be shown an unfit mother and you get custody. And if that is not really true you are best advised not even to think of going there. The second best scenario is if you can show you have been a good parent and get the judge to give 50/50 joint physical custody! One piece of strategic advice. See a good divorce lawyer NOW and get moving on getting all your ducks in a row! You MUST file before she does so that your side has some control. Most important is getting the first interview with the friend of the court or whatever your state calls the parajudicial office that advises on custody issues. There you have got to sell yourself from the very first. Be Mr Personality there, the loving husband and father that can admit his mistakes and learn from them! You need their help if you want custody! And by all means do NOT sign anything allowing her to take the kids away from the area where you now live unless you get an iron-clad agreement in exchange for whatever you want. That is the most valuable card you have left to play if you are definitely splitting up. Good luck! Try to learn as much as you can from this, that way you will have gotten something out of it!

[Jahwaree 83]

Whats this , buyers remorse, hope you both dont play tug o war with the 2 innocent kids, ignore all the get back at her

reasoning , it lasted through you knocking her up twice,it was well consumated in good faith, hurt you will but salvage

this in a civil manner (for the kids) dont take the bitter route.You will look back one day & ask yourself WHY.