Am I Politically Correct?

[Sayha or bust. 71]

When people and family have asked where my wife is from I answer," Vietnam". "Oh she is Vietnamese". No she is not Vietnamese but Khmer Krom. I have people argue with me over this. To my understanding Technically is she a Vietnam National who is of Khmer Ethnicity? I have never heard my wife or children say they are Vietnamese always Khmer. Please correct me if I'm wrong,

Edited June 2, 2012 by Sayha or bust.

[X Factor 1,112]

When you introduce your wife instead of saying this is my wife and she is Vietnamese you can perhaps say this is my wife and her name is _______. By introducing her initially as her nationality they are forming opinions. She is a person with her own unique qualities who just happens to be Vietnamese. Just my two cents

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You are right. If you are explaining this to strangers, you might explain a little more, though. Like say "Sort of. She is from a small ethnic minor called etc etc." It can make people feel dumb to talk about something as if everyone should know it.

[Sayha or bust. 71]

When you introduce your wife instead of saying this is my wife and she is Vietnamese you can perhaps say this is my wife and her name is _______. By introducing her initially as her nationality they are forming opinions. She is a person with her own unique qualities who just happens to be Vietnamese. Just my two cents

First of all I don't introduce her as my Vietnamese wife, read the post, I only say khmer if they say she is Vietnamese.

Edited June 2, 2012 by Sayha or bust.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

When people and family have asked where my wife is from I answer," Vietnam". "Oh she is Vietnamese". No she is not Vietnamese but Khmer Krom. I have people argue with me over this. To my understanding Technically is she a Vietnam National who is of Khmer Ethnicity? I have never heard my wife or children say they are Vietnamese always Khmer. Please correct me if I'm wrong,

It's a bit like asking me who's from Australia if I'm Australian, yes I am. It's my nationality, not my ethnicity. I'm not entirely sure why you're needing to specify her ethnicity. It would be like me saying "well no actually, I'm of Greek, English, Scottish and French decent"... it's a bit silly and.. well to be honest while it's great you're explaining her in more detail, it just seems a bit rude to be so pedantic about it, especially as it's YOU who's doing the explaining and not her. If it were her it would be different.

That said, why are they asking if she's Vietnamese? It sounds like a dumb question. If she's FROM Vietnam then yes, she's Vietnamese... maybe she was just a PR there though.. still a weird question. If she's vietnamese just let it lie.

The only time I've ever said I was British was when someone else rudely corrected someone who called me English, that I was Australian. I said well technically actually I'm a British Australian so I have a morphed accent so he shouldn't feel bad he thought I was English.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Vanessa, there are people in this world who live in countries but consider themselves as a separate group of people. Think, for example, of the Kurds. The kurdish person I know wants to say "I am a Kurd from Turkey." He does not want to say he is Turkish. You can decide it's dumb, but it's very important to him. It's totally different from lineage.

In the western world, people have mostly developed identities based on their country. The French feel French, and they speak French. At the time of the French Revolution, however, most people living in France did not speak French or feel French at all. They spoke Catalan, Provençal, Bretagne, Alsatian, whatever. They had to be "taught" that they lived in one country called France and be convinced that they should fight for the cause. They also had to be taught French as a second language.

Over the course of the 19-th century, many European countries worked on developing national identities, just like this. It was largely successful (thought with some notable failures), so much so that you take it for granted. This identity-creation based on nation has not happened over all of the world.

I don't know the OP, but it sounds like his wife does not want to be Vietnamese. It sounds very important to her, and to dismiss it as silly seems very short-sighted. OP, any thoughts on my comment on how to explain politely?

[Anh map 2,098]

Nationality and ethnicity are not the same. No reason to go into a deep debate/discussion if you aren't interested. For example, lots of people describe themselves as (Irish/Polish/German/Italian, etc.) Americans. Nationality: American. Ethnicity: Irish, etc.

[Xanax 349]

If the question is "where is she from" she is "from" Vietnam.

If they then ask further questions or say "oh so she is Vietnamese" then you can elaborate and explain Khmer Krom, a group of people generally living in the south of Vietnam, the difference is X, they identify themselves as X not Vietnamese (or whatever your explanation is).

Or alternatively, ask your wife what she would say, she is probably used to the question, or will get used to it!

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Vanessa, there are people in this world who live in countries but consider themselves as a separate group of people. Think, for example, of the Kurds. The kurdish person I know wants to say "I am a Kurd from Turkey." He does not want to say he is Turkish. You can decide it's dumb, but it's very important to him. It's totally different from lineage.

In the western world, people have mostly developed identities based on their country. The French feel French, and they speak French. At the time of the French Revolution, however, most people living in France did not speak French or feel French at all. They spoke Catalan, Provençal, Bretagne, Alsatian, whatever. They had to be "taught" that they lived in one country called France and be convinced that they should fight for the cause. They also had to be taught French as a second language.

Over the course of the 19-th century, many European countries worked on developing national identities, just like this. It was largely successful (thought with some notable failures), so much so that you take it for granted. This identity-creation based on nation has not happened over all of the world.

I don't know the OP, but it sounds like his wife does not want to be Vietnamese. It sounds very important to her, and to dismiss it as silly seems very short-sighted. OP, any thoughts on my comment on how to explain politely?

I would agree she's a proud Khmer Krom from Vietnam. I probably would of never brought up this post but I myself was given a lecture by one her friends who also of the same Ethnic group that made it very clear to me to not refer to him as Vietnamese. I wasn't trying to offend him or anyone else that reads this post.

Like i said I never heard my wife refer to herself as Vietnamese when someone has asked her( Usually another Asian). The conversation doesn't come up much.

Edited June 3, 2012 by Sayha or bust.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

So I think if people ask "So she is Vietnamese?" and you just say "No, Khmer" that might make them feel dumb (I mean, everyone knows what Vietnam is but not everyone knows what Khmer is). I wonder if you could smooth the conversation by giving the briefest of explanations and also not shooting them down. I thought saying "Sort of" at the beginning of your quick answer might make them feel less embarrassed. Maybe I am confused about who is asking and who is responding. Thoughts?

[EminTX 131]

I used to work with a guy that was born in and raised in a war zone in Africa. When people asked him where he was from, he always said, "Maryland." The person was always surprised. He then would say, "Everybody in Maryland looks and talks like me!" Then everyone would laugh. After that, he'd say, I'm really from Africa. That was enough. He had shown that he was friendly and had a sense of humor and could have a conversation while answering the question well enough to satisfy the new friend.

I knew another woman who used the same tactic but always said, "Oklahoma". (She was Nigerian.)

Perhaps, you and your wife could play a variation of this with the final response simply being "Asia".

My husband's parents are from the Andes where most people look Asian (to non-South Americans). Now he sometimes jokes that he is from Korea and that everybody speaks Spanish in his part of Korea.

People are naturally curious and are usually more interested in a short, friendly conversation than actual information.

[Boiler 45,693]

I am a British Citizen but usually the only people who would use that term are not from the British Isles. Black British, Asian British etc.

Unlikely americans will understand the nuances.

[bigdog 376]

My wife is "now" from Arizona and if someone asks more she will add more. We are trying the KISS method.

[Holly2234 66]

Just tell them like it is. Ask her what she prefers for you to say and say that. Who cares what people think when you tell them. As long as you and your wife are happy.

We have problems with my daughters ethnicity when we need to give an answer. But only because she is a dual citizen of the UK and the US. We dont go into it like "Well she has a bit of french, a bit of italian etc etc". We just say British American. Thats only for things that require an answer like the doctor did. Otherwise we dont really say anything at all.

A simple answer for if they wanted details would be "She is a Khmer Krom from Vietnam".

[Vanessa&Dago 12]

When you introduce your wife instead of saying this is my wife and she is Vietnamese you can perhaps say this is my wife and her name is _______. By introducing her initially as her nationality they are forming opinions. She is a person with her own unique qualities who just happens to be Vietnamese. Just my two cents

That's the wy it should be. Too much stock placed on what we are instead of who we are.