looking for MENA success stories

[Cathi 5,610]

Just curious if anyone who has married a younger MENA man has a happy ending? All of the topics seem to only be about tragic relationships. I know it's good to be cautious, but like in any society or culture there are scum bags. In fact in the US there seems to be an over abundance of men who abuse, mistreat and cheat in their wives. I love my husband, and he loves me. I can't wait until the day he sets foot on American soil. I have been to Jordan to see him 3 times in the last 6 months, 3 months living with he and his family. And you can bet you bottom dollar I will be at that embassy in Amman by his side the day he has his interview!!!

[FormerlyKnownAs 17]

There certainly are some happy endings. You'll get a mixed bag of responses, but just keep in mind that only YOU know what kind of relationship you have with your husband. As long as you're being smart about things and you've made yourself aware of the fact that these things sometime result in the younger man using the older woman, you've done as much as you need to do. It's your relationship, don't let anyone here tell you it's wrong. Educate yourself, be smart and vigilant. That's all you can do. If you're feeling happy and secure about things, don't feel bad reading the horror stories. Those are stories about other people in other situations.

I've come to understand that VJ is incredibly helpful for support from those who've been down a similar road re the visa process, not so much the best place to get support for your relationship. It can be especially brutal for those women who happen to be in relationships with younger MENA men. Some people just can't resist the temptation to tear you down and explain to you in no uncertain terms that you must be a fool. Take it all with a grain of salt.

All the best to you.

[MIBEN 83]

There are some happy endings, in MENA countries relationships with age differences or short courtships before marriage are scrutinized heavily but at the end of the day you have to be prepared for the journey. How do you prepare, well you are off to a good start by frequent visits proving you are part of the family in Jordan. Take plenty of pictures and hopefully they allow you to attend his interview, my husband is from Morocco and they do not allow anyone other than the applicant into the interview. The CO knew I was in country even though my husband did not disclose that, so it is a positive thing to be there while he goes through the interview. As far as the relationship thing, that is solely between you and your better half no one can help make that judgement call but at this point you are married therefore I say give it 100% as you would any man in America. The difference is that you are going through the visa journey to be with him. I viewed it this way, ok I am asking that he be granted a visa what happens if they do not approve that request? I was willing to move to his country or have a long distance relationship if that is what we had to do until we were able to live in the same place. It took us a bit over 13 months to get his visa and bring him home but the wait was well worth it.

Good luck,

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

My husband is almost 28 & I'm 30. About to be 6yrs married and known each other almost 7. We are growing old together here in Texas and hopefully this year will be completed with the naturalization process. Successful marriages are possible- you both have to want it and work for it.

[momof1 205]

My husband is 40 and I'm 30. We have two kids and are quickly approaching our 10th anniversary in 3.5 months. I think we're a success!!!

[Cathi 5,610]

My husband is 40 and I'm 30. We have two kids and are quickly approaching our 10th anniversary in 3.5 months. I think we're a success!!!

I was looking for older women marrying younger men. But congratulations to you and your husband. Inshalla

[Staashi 371]

I will always believe that the key to a successful MENA May-December relationship is the confidence and trust that your fiance/spouse isn't taking you for a ride. Read up on all the red flags and evaluate them against your relationship. If you're confident that there is love on both sides...and no delusions of grandeur, you should be ok.

[momof1 205]

I was looking for older women marrying younger men. But congratulations to you and your husband. Inshalla

Oops I missed that part

[Cathi 5,610]

Thank Staashi. I think I spend too much time on this site reading all the horror stories.

[Peter_Pan 661]

I was looking for older women marrying younger men. But congratulations to you and your husband. Inshalla

Why the inshalla? Have you coverted? That seems to be a trend as well, some women just have no backone.

[Cathi 5,610]

Why the inshalla? Have you coverted? That seems to be a trend as well, some women just have no backone.

No I haven't converted. I said it because it's a nice thing to say, especially in the MENA forum. Why do you feel the need to be so rude? If I had said God bless would then you would have accused me of something else. This forum is about helping people on their journey, not insulting them. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. And grow up.

[Zee Bee 61]

Why the inshalla? Have you coverted? That seems to be a trend as well, some women just have no backone.

Why does conversion mean that the woman has no backbone???

[tany1157 161]

I think you have gotten some good advice here....years ago, i used to read all the horror stories, and compare every little detail to my (then) fiance...it literally made me crazy. You know your SO more than anyone, and like Staashi said, as long as you both have security, and trust, then to hell what anyone else says. My reading caused some arguments and hurt between my man and I. I realized my husband was not like any one of those jerks I was reading about, and I had to stop reading about them, and comparing. Yes, the possibility of being used is there, but not everyone is a user. Keep your eyes open, and be smart. Go with your gut feelings, and remember, for every horror story, there is one with a beautiful outcome.

Why the inshalla? Have you coverted? That seems to be a trend as well, some women just have no backone.

....and this was uncalled for

[Cathi 5,610]

Why does conversion mean that the woman has no backbone???

Exactly my thoughts. Sounds to me that this person has nothing better to do with her time than insult people.

I think you have gotten some good advice here....years ago, i used to read all the horror stories, and compare every little detail to my (then) fiance...it literally made me crazy. You know your SO more than anyone, and like Staashi said, as long as you both have security, and trust, then to hell what anyone else says. My reading caused some arguments and hurt between my man and I. I realized my husband was not like any one of those jerks I was reading about, and I had to stop reading about them, and comparing. Yes, the possibility of being used is there, but not everyone is a user. Keep your eyes open, and be smart. Go with your gut feelings, and remember, for every horror story, there is one with a beautiful outcome.

....and this was uncalled for

Tany I will never understand people.

[Cathi 5,610]

Changing you entire belief system for a guy doesn't exactly scream integrity, does it? Curiouser and curiouser, it is always the woman converting, never the guy, hmm, wonder why ...

What is your problem Peter Pan? Seriously???????? Where did I say I changed my beliefs for anyone???????? I am a practicing Catholic, and I'm and not converting, nor has he every asked or even intimated that I should. Before you start spewing about things you just don't know about, please shut up. I really can't stand people who open their mouth without knowing facts.