I-864, gifting money- is this going to work?!

[Tahoma 2,298]

I'm sorry I keep saying 'suing', I see it as my responsibility to claim government welfare and therefore I would be the one making the decision to put my in-laws in trouble.

I have also been informed that it is my responsibility to make the government aware that my co-sponsor isn't filling their financial obligations and that I could sue them for the outstanding amounts (If I possessed absolutely no moral grounding whatsoever!)

What outstanding amounts? Sue who? What are you even talking about?

Anybody can sue anybody for anything. However, any lawsuit of yours regarding the cosponsor's affidavit of support would have no standing in court. Once again, the affidavit of support is between the cosponsor and the U.S. government. You are not a party to that contract.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Thank you everybody- a lot of this has been incredibly helpful and insightful, I appreciate your time and knowledge.

On the other hand...I don't think mildly patronising statements concerning the ridiculous correlation between adulthood and marriage should be applauded- I think we all know this is bureaucracy and theory and starting to chastise young people who are trying to build a life for themselves, and above all find legal employment, should be told off because they are naughty children who aren't 'ready' for marriage is sad.

I personally see marriage as paperwork, pure and simple, I am not proud to be married- I don't see it as an achievement. My wedding cost me $20. I just want to get a job, that is all- that really is all I want, to live with Kyle and get a job and come home to him every night and share a fridge.

Some people can tell me I'm naughty for not doing all my research properly, goodness knows I tried very very hard to cover every base, and I understand there will be monumental sacrifices- I just wanted some literal help concerning the issues raised.

I mean- dear lord, none of my other friends who are engaged or living together have ever had to justify themselves financially to the government, they are free to build their life however they see fit. These marriage visas are a ###### situation whichever way you look at it...

I agree young lady. the process is a pain in the as..... ! It sucks really.

[Schroeky 6]

Thank you everybody- a lot of this has been incredibly helpful and insightful, I appreciate your time and knowledge.

On the other hand...I don't think mildly patronising statements concerning the ridiculous correlation between adulthood and marriage should be applauded- I think we all know this is bureaucracy and theory and starting to chastise young people who are trying to build a life for themselves, and above all find legal employment, should be told off because they are naughty children who aren't 'ready' for marriage is sad.

I personally see marriage as paperwork, pure and simple, I am not proud to be married- I don't see it as an achievement. My wedding cost me $20. I just want to get a job, that is all- that really is all I want, to live with Kyle and get a job and come home to him every night and share a fridge.

Some people can tell me I'm naughty for not doing all my research properly, goodness knows I tried very very hard to cover every base, and I understand there will be monumental sacrifices- I just wanted some literal help concerning the issues raised.

I mean- dear lord, none of my other friends who are engaged or living together have ever had to justify themselves financially to the government, they are free to build their life however they see fit. These marriage visas are a ###### situation whichever way you look at it...

Sorry, I'm just emotional and exhausted.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Thank you everybody- a lot of this has been incredibly helpful and insightful, I appreciate your time and knowledge.

On the other hand...I don't think mildly patronising statements concerning the ridiculous correlation between adulthood and marriage should be applauded- I think we all know this is bureaucracy and theory and starting to chastise young people who are trying to build a life for themselves, and above all find legal employment, should be told off because they are naughty children who aren't 'ready' for marriage is sad.

I personally see marriage as paperwork, pure and simple, I am not proud to be married- I don't see it as an achievement. My wedding cost me $20. I just want to get a job, that is all- that really is all I want, to live with Kyle and get a job and come home to him every night and share a fridge.

Some people can tell me I'm naughty for not doing all my research properly, goodness knows I tried very very hard to cover every base, and I understand there will be monumental sacrifices- I just wanted some literal help concerning the issues raised.

I mean- dear lord, none of my other friends who are engaged or living together have ever had to justify themselves financially to the government, they are free to build their life however they see fit. These marriage visas are a ###### situation whichever way you look at it...

You asked for opinions and got them. I thought it may help and I did give a reasoned answer. Maybe you only wanted us to blow sunshine in your direction?

The plan to gift money is silly for many reasons. Some of which have been outlined here. But you haven't much choice because you are not in a position to choose and your only qualification to get married is that you are over 18. I DID wish you luck and I am sincere in that. Read carefully and you will see that my suggestions (and they are just suggestions by a guy with at least two children older than you) were to OTHER people, not to you. You are too far down that road to turn back now.

Your other friends didnt ask to be given legal status in other countries. If they did, they would have to do the same thing IF the country allowed it. Though for the affidavit itself I agree, we should simply make impossible for anyone that ebtered via a spouse of fiance)e_ visa to ever collect welfare...job done. who needs an affidavit?

[Helen Louise Pile 80]

Thank you everybody- a lot of this has been incredibly helpful and insightful, I appreciate your time and knowledge.

On the other hand...I don't think mildly patronising statements concerning the ridiculous correlation between adulthood and marriage should be applauded- I think we all know this is bureaucracy and theory and starting to chastise young people who are trying to build a life for themselves, and above all find legal employment, should be told off because they are naughty children who aren't 'ready' for marriage is sad.

I personally see marriage as paperwork, pure and simple, I am not proud to be married- I don't see it as an achievement. My wedding cost me $20. I just want to get a job, that is all- that really is all I want, to live with Kyle and get a job and come home to him every night and share a fridge.

Some people can tell me I'm naughty for not doing all my research properly, goodness knows I tried very very hard to cover every base, and I understand there will be monumental sacrifices- I just wanted some literal help concerning the issues raised.

I mean- dear lord, none of my other friends who are engaged or living together have ever had to justify themselves financially to the government, they are free to build their life however they see fit. These marriage visas are a ###### situation whichever way you look at it...

Yikes!

Perhaps you are tired and exhausted. I am sorry this process had exhausted you. We are all in the same position.

I am young too. I would never ever have moved here if it were not to marry my husband. We moved here because my husband got a job here and I love him and am committed to him and we would have been married sooner if not for bureaucratic process. (UK and US). Our lives are joined now and as long as we are together we'll be just fine. Wherever that may be in the world and however much we have to sacrifice.

People are commenting on adulthood and marriage because marriage is sacrifice, hard work and working together. You are asking questions and talking about how his parents won't support you the way you want them to. I see that people are suggesting you work it out because you can do that.

Sorry if you felt attacked or judged. That is certainly not what I meant to do.

You should be proud to be married, you have committed your entire life to this thing, you better be proud of it! You clearly want it and you've come this far. Don't let an upset an the process derail you from what is important.

Who cares what your friends have to do. This is your situation and it will work out. I know it's tough...we all do. But you can do it. You have got good advice on the financial situation. I hope it all works out. Can you get your parents in law to speak to an immigration attorney?

Best of luck with everything!

Helen

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Thank you everybody- a lot of this has been incredibly helpful and insightful, I appreciate your time and knowledge.

On the other hand...I don't think mildly patronising statements concerning the ridiculous correlation between adulthood and marriage should be applauded- I think we all know this is bureaucracy and theory and starting to chastise young people who are trying to build a life for themselves, and above all find legal employment, should be told off because they are naughty children who aren't 'ready' for marriage is sad.

I personally see marriage as paperwork, pure and simple, I am not proud to be married- I don't see it as an achievement. My wedding cost me $20. I just want to get a job, that is all- that really is all I want, to live with Kyle and get a job and come home to him every night and share a fridge.

Some people can tell me I'm naughty for not doing all my research properly, goodness knows I tried very very hard to cover every base, and I understand there will be monumental sacrifices- I just wanted some literal help concerning the issues raised.

I mean- dear lord, none of my other friends who are engaged or living together have ever had to justify themselves financially to the government, they are free to build their life however they see fit. These marriage visas are a ###### situation whichever way you look at it...

I think you seem like a very mature and grounded young woman. I also don't believe that age equates to wisdom. I see plenty of 'adults' who make mistakes and do not behave in an educated manner. Age can be helpful, because there are more chances for life experience, but that in itself still does not equate to wisdom. Aristotle believed that to have wisdom one must possess knowledge--theoretical and practical. He said nothing about age. And, he was a great and wise philosopher. I think it's highly unfair to assume that someone who is young cannot experience love in a way that older people might - not all older people experience love or healthy relationships. Age is a consideration, but it's not a precise and reliable predictor either.

You know in the field of psychology some believe that there is no such thing as an adult anyway.

I hope things work out for you I really do. Wishing you well with the rest of your journey.

[Anh map 2,098]

I'm sorry I keep saying 'suing', I see it as my responsibility to claim government welfare and therefore I would be the one making the decision to put my in-laws in trouble.

I have also been informed that it is my responsibility to make the government aware that my co-sponsor isn't filling their financial obligations and that I could sue them for the outstanding amounts (If I possessed absolutely no moral grounding whatsoever!)

If you used a means tested benefit then the agency providing the benefit would/could sue the sponsor, not you.. Of course your spouse as the primary sponsor would be sued first. Then the joint sponsor.

This isn't about emotions. It's about financial obligations. Your $20 marriage is as valid as someone's that saw it as a melding of hearts and souls. The opinion of the interviewing officer trumps all.

The $55K gift is a waste of time and effort. Have your inlaws consult a qualified immigration attorney. Or better yet move on and find someone willing to take on the obligation.

Edited September 5, 2011 by Anh map

[bigdog 377]

Sounds to me like everyone is involved except the two people who love each other. Get all the static about this process of the way, if that means you wait until you can afford to do this by yourself then so be it. To me ity seems to be way to complicated in a system which is stressful without family intervention. Best of luck.

Edited September 5, 2011 by bigdog

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Do your in-laws know that you cannot claim means-tested benefits until you've been an LPR for 5 years? At which time you could claim USC and their obligation will end? Do they know you are eligible for USC after 3 years of marriage and that their obligations will end at that time? Did they actually get their lawyers to show them case law showing instances where the immigrants successfully sued a CO-sponsor?

The possibility is there, it's happened before, but in the cases I've seen (maybe 2 of them) it was in divorce court where the judge mistakenly thought it could also be used as spousal support so it was the spouse that was sued, NOT the co-sponsor. If they're going to spend the money on lawyers, they should spend money on a GOOD immigration attorney.

All that said though... being a co-sponsor ISN'T a small thing and while it sucks that they don't want to, they don't HAVE to either and it's an incredible amount of pressure you're putting them under. It sounds to me like they WANT to help, but they're very very worried. I would try and find another way.

My OTHER idea is assets ARE allowed to be used. So instead of a cash gift, they should buy your husband something that is worth the 3 times of income difference he is lacking. That should work... I don't know if there's a length of time owning an asset though that is required though. That would be my choice if you really had NO choice.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Sorry, I'm just emotional and exhausted.

This visa thing process makes ANYONE and EVERYONE, emotional and exhausted. No need to apologize.

[AMP 54]

Have you thought about him moving to uk? I am not sure what the process is, but maybe it's easier. Also your degreed and and might have a good job already. He can easily get a job there, and also finish school. Yes I would also talk with his parents and get a better lawyer, looks like the lawyer, is playing on their fears, which equals $ to him. Maybe you can sign a prenuptial with the parents, husband and you stating the terms of marriage that if divorced you will go back and not seek any personal finical gains.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I personally see marriage as paperwork, pure and simple, I am not proud to be married- I don't see it as an achievement. My wedding cost me $20. I just want to get a job, that is all- that really is all I want, to live with Kyle and get a job and come home to him every night and share a fridge.

This may be all you really want, but you're asking for something in addition to these. You're asking to be able to do these things in the United States, which means dealing with US immigration laws. The US government requires a guarantee that you won't become a burden on the taxpayers at least until you've contributed enough to the national treasury to have earned that privilege. This guarantee has to be provided by someone who is subject to US law (a US citizen or permanent resident), and who has sufficient income and/or assets to back up that guarantee. They do take into consideration your ability to support yourself - your job history, your age, your health, your education, etc. But they still require that guarantee.

When two Americans marry each other they don't have to prove financial sufficiency to the US government, just as your friends don't have to. This has nothing to do with marriage, and everything to do with immigration. Every family based immigrant requires a sponsor - parents, children, and siblings - not only spouses. Don't take it personally. The US government isn't questioning your integrity or your intention to support yourself. They're only protecting the taxpayers from having to pick up the tab for immigrants.

[Schroeky 6]

Do your in-laws know that you cannot claim means-tested benefits until you've been an LPR for 5 years? At which time you could claim USC and their obligation will end? Do they know you are eligible for USC after 3 years of marriage and that their obligations will end at that time? Did they actually get their lawyers to show them case law showing instances where the immigrants successfully sued a CO-sponsor?

The possibility is there, it's happened before, but in the cases I've seen (maybe 2 of them) it was in divorce court where the judge mistakenly thought it could also be used as spousal support so it was the spouse that was sued, NOT the co-sponsor. If they're going to spend the money on lawyers, they should spend money on a GOOD immigration attorney.

All that said though... being a co-sponsor ISN'T a small thing and while it sucks that they don't want to, they don't HAVE to either and it's an incredible amount of pressure you're putting them under. It sounds to me like they WANT to help, but they're very very worried. I would try and find another way.

My OTHER idea is assets ARE allowed to be used. So instead of a cash gift, they should buy your husband something that is worth the 3 times of income difference he is lacking. That should work... I don't know if there's a length of time owning an asset though that is required though. That would be my choice if you really had NO choice.

This is fascinating, I haven't really done enough research into how I would even claim welfare- I suppose showing my parents in law how hard it would be for me to even claim this welfare, and show them straight away how I am sending off the forms for citizenship and go for that as fast as I possibly can, thus freeing them of their obligation.

This LPR thing could be a real asset to the timeline I'm laying out.

[newlyweds2010 208]

Do your in-laws know that you cannot claim means-tested benefits until you've been an LPR for 5 years? At which time you could claim USC and their obligation will end? Do they know you are eligible for USC after 3 years of marriage and that their obligations will end at that time? Did they actually get their lawyers to show them case law showing instances where the immigrants successfully sued a CO-sponsor?

The possibility is there, it's happened before, but in the cases I've seen (maybe 2 of them) it was in divorce court where the judge mistakenly thought it could also be used as spousal support so it was the spouse that was sued, NOT the co-sponsor. If they're going to spend the money on lawyers, they should spend money on a GOOD immigration attorney.

All that said though... being a co-sponsor ISN'T a small thing and while it sucks that they don't want to, they don't HAVE to either and it's an incredible amount of pressure you're putting them under. It sounds to me like they WANT to help, but they're very very worried. I would try and find another way.

My OTHER idea is assets ARE allowed to be used. So instead of a cash gift, they should buy your husband something that is worth the 3 times of income difference he is lacking. That should work... I don't know if there's a length of time owning an asset though that is required though. That would be my choice if you really had NO choice.

Are you sure that they don't have any other obligation than paying means-tested benefits? Would they have to pay her rent or food or anything else, if she can't/doesn't want to work and pay for herself?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Are you sure that they don't have any other obligation than paying means-tested benefits? Would they have to pay her rent or food or anything else, if she can't/doesn't want to work and pay for herself?

Nope. They don't have to do any of that. The I-864 is an agreement with the US government to pay back means-tested benefits. It would just not make sense for a sponsor to have to pay for someone's upkeep when they're perfectly able to look after themselves.

I understand that it seems like there should be SOME support after all they are helping to import someone, but it just doesn't work like that. Tony supported me and was my sole sponsor, we didn't need a co-sponsor. I can't imagine having asked his parents to sign on and then have them giving me pocket money or whatever... weird :S