Question about pulling Sponsorship

[BobbyBoy 0]

If I pull my sponsorship (I-130) of my spouse (who is on a K-3 visa), can the process be restarted?

I feel like I'm being used for my spouse to gain a green card... And I have pretty concrete evidence of this fact (she was caught cheating, and now we are trying to repair/save the relationship). But when it was brought up, she denies it. If she really cared about the relationship, she shouldn't mind starting the process over, right?

Edited October 7, 2010 by BobbyBoy

[Darnell 8,478]

Usually something is 'pulled' on/around the 'affadavit of support' form when adjusting status in USA

or

prior to interview day at the foreign embassy/consulate.

The situation that you've described -

I can't see the entry point for 'withdrawing the affadavit of support'.

That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, though.

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

If I pull my sponsorship (I-130) of my spouse (who is on a K-3 visa), can the process be restarted?

I feel like I'm being used for my spouse to gain a green card... And I have pretty concrete evidence of this fact (she was caught cheating, and now we are trying to repair/save the relationship). But when it was brought up, she denies it. If she really cared about the relationship, she shouldn't mind starting the process over, right?

Yep right.. But I say run for it.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Okay exactly what stage are you at? Have you filed for AOS? Or is she just here on the K3 right now?

If she's just here on the K3 and you haven't filed for AOS then you can't pull anything right now. She's here legally. BUT you can choose not to AOS her right now. She has a 2 year deadline to file AOS.

If you've filed AOS for her then you can pull your I-864 and she can't AOS without it. From my understanding (from another thread) if you cancel the I-864 her AOS is denied and she has 30 days to leave the country.

As for if she's being honest she would be okay with starting over... maybe, maybe not. If it were me, I would feel you are not willing to give a proper go at forgiving me and that the trust is completely gone. On the other hand she could also accuse you of abuse (withholding legal status is a form of abuse) and get a GC without you.

I am of the personal opinion that cheating means the person doesn't love or respect you. There is no such thing as an "accident". I could not forgive someone for cheating on me, married or not. So the question is what are YOU okay with. Take her immigration out of the equation. If you want to give the relationship a good shot though and her 2 year deadline is close then you are going to have to AOS her. It's entirely up to you. To me if she cheated on you once, she'll do so again, she'll just be more careful not to get caught this time.

[leahandlucas 15]

To me if she cheated on you once, she'll do so again, she'll just be more careful not to get caught this time.

Amen,amen and amen...correct

Get rid of her, PULL THE AFFIDAVIT..let her figure out the rest, she won't be able to because she can only AOS through YOU.....DONT do her the favor...

Think about it....WHY stay with her...when theres MILLIONS more out there in this big world that will actually treat you with the love and respect you deserve

[BobbyBoy 0]

We have filed for AOS. She has her EAD and Social Security Card allowing her to work. But her I-485 is still processing and has been for some time now.

She is very manipulative and I am a sucker for it. I really want to believe she is interested in saving our relationship but I have that gut feeling I'm being used and abused. But maybe I'm wrong... I really hope so.

For now I am going to let some time pass and see if I can get some more perspective on the situation. I am still hurting from finding out about it.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

She is very manipulative and I am a sucker for it. I really want to believe she is interested in saving our relationship but I have that gut feeling I'm being used and abused.

That says all you really need to say right there... How often do you hear someone lament about not trusting their "Gut Instinct"?

You can pull the Affidavit of support at the interview (if there is one) or right up until the point of approval but once it's approved you're locked in.

[Darnell 8,478]

ok - so filed for AOS, but AOS not granted yet -

as Bob 4 Anna mentions, can withdraw 'affadavit of support' anytime between now (via postal letter and phone call) up to interview day (show up in person, tell Immigration Officer at Interview).

Regardless of 'when ' you do it ..

(My Understanding Is)

Since the AOS will be 'terminated' based on the withdrawal of the I-864 form -

the K-3 visa will be cancelled

and the I-130 petition (that the K-3 is based on) will be closed/cancelled/administratively closed.

So - after all those closings, she will be ordered to leave the USA. Usually, when the letter hits, she has 30 days to voluntarily depart; after that time, she may be rounded up for deportation.

If you want her in yer life again, you'll need to file a new I-130, later.

Good Luck, whatever you decide to do. It's a tough decision, I would never wish this on anyone.

However, even with that said -

Some people feel it's 'bad form' to mix immigration 'stuff' with 'infidelity in marriage stuff' with 'divorce stuff'. I'm not one of those. Her immigration status is based on marriage (to you), and if the marriage goes south due to infidelity, why maintain any immigration benefit?

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

We have filed for AOS. She has her EAD and Social Security Card allowing her to work. But her I-485 is still processing and has been for some time now.

She is very manipulative and I am a sucker for it. I really want to believe she is interested in saving our relationship but I have that gut feeling I'm being used and abused. But maybe I'm wrong... I really hope so.

For now I am going to let some time pass and see if I can get some more perspective on the situation. I am still hurting from finding out about it.

Bobby.. She just goit here.... and cheated on you already.. and you think this maybe ok..? IF I just got married/engaged and my "spouse" arrived in the USA and cheated.. hmm and the paper work havent even been approved yet... i'm lookin doin the tunnel and ask.. what will she do when she have her GC ... guess tell u up front she been gaggin on the side and she wants a divorce.

[BobbyBoy 0]

ok - so filed for AOS, but AOS not granted yet -

as Bob 4 Anna mentions, can withdraw 'affadavit of support' anytime between now (via postal letter and phone call) up to interview day (show up in person, tell Immigration Officer at Interview).

Regardless of 'when ' you do it ..

(My Understanding Is)

Since the AOS will be 'terminated' based on the withdrawal of the I-864 form -

the K-3 visa will be cancelled

and the I-130 petition (that the K-3 is based on) will be closed/cancelled/administratively closed.

So - after all those closings, she will be ordered to leave the USA. Usually, when the letter hits, she has 30 days to voluntarily depart; after that time, she may be rounded up for deportation.

If you want her in yer life again, you'll need to file a new I-130, later.

Good Luck, whatever you decide to do. It's a tough decision, I would never wish this on anyone.

However, even with that said -

Some people feel it's 'bad form' to mix immigration 'stuff' with 'infidelity in marriage stuff' with 'divorce stuff'. I'm not one of those. Her immigration status is based on marriage (to you), and if the marriage goes south due to infidelity, why maintain any immigration benefit?

First: Thank you all for you replies. This helps immensely.

I'm still not sure if I am going to pull the sponsorship just yet. Its up in the air at the moment and I need some more time to see if things are going to change or if she's going to continue doing what she has always been doing.

The I-485 was recently transferred from California to Missouri... Is that a sign that the green card could be issued soon? I really hope that there is an interview process, that way I have a firm deadline of when I can make my final decision. But I read that the California Service Center can just approve it and mail her the green card without any interview Anyone have any insight on this?

You hit the nail right on the head when you said, "I would never wish this on anyone." That has been exactly my thoughts since I found out. She has caused me some seriously intense emotional pain.

And I agree that her green card is a benefit of being married and faithful to me. If she cannot fulfill her side while I have, why should she benefit?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

First: Thank you all for you replies. This helps immensely.

I'm still not sure if I am going to pull the sponsorship just yet. Its up in the air at the moment and I need some more time to see if things are going to change or if she's going to continue doing what she has always been doing.

The I-485 was recently transferred from California to Missouri... Is that a sign that the green card could be issued soon? I really hope that there is an interview process, that way I have a firm deadline of when I can make my final decision. But I read that the California Service Center can just approve it and mail her the green card without any interview Anyone have any insight on this?

You hit the nail right on the head when you said, "I would never wish this on anyone." That has been exactly my thoughts since I found out. She has caused me some seriously intense emotional pain.

And I agree that her green card is a benefit of being married and faithful to me. If she cannot fulfill her side while I have, why should she benefit?

So you actually got a letter that said "this case has been transferred to the Missouri local office"? It's usually approved without interview at California so it sounds like you're going to get an interview.

As for CAN they approve without interview. Yes they can. I was approved without interview and so were a few of my VJ friends. One of my friends had an interview and she got that "transferred to local office" letter that you got.

My concern is you wait too long and you're stuck anyway and she got what she wanted.

When I said take immigration out of the equation I meant, look first at your relationship and if you want to stay with her and THEN look at immigration. In order for her to stay with you her immigration is important but if you look at immigration first you won't properly look at how you're feeling. If she was any typical girlfriend that you just moved in with and you found out she was cheating, what would you do? If she was a regular wife, no immigration issues what would you do? I would have my spouse move out, or I would move out, while I gave myself time to come to terms with it... and that means cancelling the AOS and having her go back to her "home" and then working on rebuilding the relationship... if you want to.

Myself, I can't forgive cheating. I couldn't get over the mental image and I couldn't get over the lack of trust. I think it would slowly destroy me wondering where he is, and who he's with. And I'd start to question every friendship... nope.. couldn't do it. And I think it's selfish of a "cheater" to expect you to.

Edited October 8, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[lucky Jimmy 7]

Be careful! She could make false claims of abuse and then self petition. It has been done.

[trillium13 84]

The tone of this thread seems rather familiar.

[BobbyBoy 0]

I have just realized that I made a mistake in some of the information I have provided here. The I-864 (Affidavit of Support) was filed with the I-130 for her K-3 visa. That AOS was approved. So, unfortunately, if I am reading this correctly, I have no choice now and am stuck with her continuing forward in her I-485 (Application to Adjust to Permanent Resident Status) process. Is this correct?

[milimelo 4,220]

I have just realized that I made a mistake in some of the information I have provided here. The I-864 (Affidavit of Support) was filed with the I-130 for her K-3 visa. That AOS was approved. So, unfortunately, if I am reading this correctly, I have no choice now and am stuck with her continuing forward in her I-485 (Application to Adjust to Permanent Resident Status) process. Is this correct?

Not necessarily as that didn't give her a green card.

he Adjustment of status process from K-3 visa involves sending in I-485, I-864 and a couple of other forms together with $1010 so she can get her permanent residency. Once THAT I-864 is accepted and I-485 APPROVED, you're on the hook.

If the AOS process hasn't been completed, you still have a chance to pull the I-864 (in writing, notarized sent to USCIS or hand-delivered at Info-pass - all are recommended) which effectively kills the AOS process and she has to go home - I think they give her 30 days to leave before removal proceedings are started.