He used her!!

[tulum 0]

Hi, im not sure where to post this, but a friend came to me for help and im turning to the VJ community for help. in short, my friend married this guy from Argentine, he was in the USA illegally. they had a brief courtship and were married for 5 years. His stort changed over time- 1st he wants kids and a house and then later he didnt. Was spending less and less time with his wife and stepdaughter. She complains they were only intimate once or twice a month and only when he wanted to. This girl is attractive, wouldnt have any problem getting a guy, by the way. He kept control of the mail and had a seperate bank account- h ehas a good paying job also. She found texts to a girl sent around midnite on his phone. She confronted him about it. They got into an argument and he abused her. She took photos of the bruises and he was arrested. spent a night in jail and had a restraining order against him. Yesterday , she told me she got served divorce papers. He already has permanent residency. What can she do? i dont think he can be deported at this stage. i told her to contact ICE and get a lawyer. if she cant send him back to South America , at least she might be able to get alimony...anyone have any thoughts i can pass on to her to help her? it reallt appears that he used her....what a #@%&)!!!

[milimelo 4,191]

Divorce matters to be dealt with the family court - make sure she gets her hands on his pay stubs so she gets the right amount of alimony.

Immigration-wise, nothing she can do - he has permanent residency and she is bound by I-864 until he dies, gets citizenship, accumulates 40 quarters of work (10 yrs) or permanently leaves the country.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

a 5 year marriage is typically not the norm for individuals that enter marriage just to secure permanent residency. I'm not suggesting it doesn't happen, but it's not the usual MO for an alien who has ulterior motives in mind.

Hi, im not sure where to post this, but a friend came to me for help and im turning to the VJ community for help. in short, my friend married this guy from Argentine, he was in the USA illegally. they had a brief courtship and were married for 5 years. His stort changed over time- 1st he wants kids and a house and then later he didnt. Was spending less and less time with his wife and stepdaughter. She complains they were only intimate once or twice a month and only when he wanted to. This girl is attractive, wouldnt have any problem getting a guy, by the way. He kept control of the mail and had a seperate bank account- h ehas a good paying job also. She found texts to a girl sent around midnite on his phone. She confronted him about it. They got into an argument and he abused her. She took photos of the bruises and he was arrested. spent a night in jail and had a restraining order against him. Yesterday , she told me she got served divorce papers. He already has permanent residency. What can she do? i dont think he can be deported at this stage. i told her to contact ICE and get a lawyer. if she cant send him back to South America , at least she might be able to get alimony...anyone have any thoughts i can pass on to her to help her? it reallt appears that he used her....what a #@%&)!!!

[Penguin_ie 5,984]

He doesn't sound like a very nice person, but if he was only after her for the green card, he would not have stayed 5 years.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I have to agree with the others that a 5yr marriage is not typical for someone using for LPR. Regardless, Im so sorry that happened to your friend.

There is nothing she can do immi-wise.

[ScottThuy 140]

What did he do to get residency? You stated that he was illegal in the onset.. what changed aside from being married?

[Anh map 2,098]

What did he do to get residency? You stated that he was illegal in the onset.. what changed aside from being married?

OP stated marriage. That would gain forgiveness of overstay. After that they would have done AOS.

[gsebia 0]

My understanding of the USCIS is that if you are in this country illeaglly, you must retuurn to your home land and applu for a K3 to be married,,That is assuming they waive the 10 year ban, What kind of wedding and, divorce did they have (was it official) ?..

[familyguy 2]

My understanding of the USCIS is that if you are in this country illeaglly, you must retuurn to your home land and applu for a K3 to be married,,That is assuming they waive the 10 year ban, What kind of wedding and, divorce did they have (was it official) ?..

There are specific regulations that deal with spousal abuse and the victim is treated in a different manner.

[Mike B. 231]

Who cares about immigration? If this guy is beating up the woman she needs to get the hell out of the relationship and get away from him, which is what seems to be happening. His loss.

Edited July 16, 2009 by Mike B.

[pushbrk 12,104]

Hi, im not sure where to post this, but a friend came to me for help and im turning to the VJ community for help. in short, my friend married this guy from Argentine, he was in the USA illegally. they had a brief courtship and were married for 5 years. His stort changed over time- 1st he wants kids and a house and then later he didnt. Was spending less and less time with his wife and stepdaughter. She complains they were only intimate once or twice a month and only when he wanted to. This girl is attractive, wouldnt have any problem getting a guy, by the way. He kept control of the mail and had a seperate bank account- h ehas a good paying job also. She found texts to a girl sent around midnite on his phone. She confronted him about it. They got into an argument and he abused her. She took photos of the bruises and he was arrested. spent a night in jail and had a restraining order against him. Yesterday , she told me she got served divorce papers. He already has permanent residency. What can she do? i dont think he can be deported at this stage. i told her to contact ICE and get a lawyer. if she cant send him back to South America , at least she might be able to get alimony...anyone have any thoughts i can pass on to her to help her? it reallt appears that he used her....what a #@%&)!!!

Sounds like a case of "life happens". Things didn't work out. Get on with it. After five years of marriage, it's not an immigration matter.

[nowhereman 1]

Hi, im not sure where to post this, but a friend came to me for help and im turning to the VJ community for help. in short, my friend married this guy from Argentine, he was in the USA illegally. they had a brief courtship and were married for 5 years. His stort changed over time- 1st he wants kids and a house and then later he didnt. Was spending less and less time with his wife and stepdaughter. She complains they were only intimate once or twice a month and only when he wanted to. This girl is attractive, wouldnt have any problem getting a guy, by the way. He kept control of the mail and had a seperate bank account- h ehas a good paying job also. She found texts to a girl sent around midnite on his phone. She confronted him about it. They got into an argument and he abused her. She took photos of the bruises and he was arrested. spent a night in jail and had a restraining order against him. Yesterday , she told me she got served divorce papers. He already has permanent residency. What can she do? i dont think he can be deported at this stage. i told her to contact ICE and get a lawyer. if she cant send him back to South America , at least she might be able to get alimony...anyone have any thoughts i can pass on to her to help her? it reallt appears that he used her....what a #@%&)!!!

Sounds like a case of "life happens". Things didn't work out. Get on with it. After five years of marriage, it's not an immigration matter.

A bit harsh, but true. Divorce the guy & squeeze every penney out of him... if he is half the jerk you paint him to be he deserves it.

[andana_dj 0]

I would like to say that every marriage has a 50/50 per cents rate of success. Nobody can tell at the begining how long will last their family together unfortunately..... but at the same time everyone gives it a chance with the hope that this is the only time in life. During the years people are changing, the character, the habits, emotions, LOVE ......

This is what happens to this family here too......

maybe it's not even the end yet.....maybe he just got distracted for another woman...but it can be temporary.....

Did you ever try discuss in detail what is really going on with him? Did you try save your marriage (if you still care about him and want him in your life)?

If he really started a relationship with someone else......try to just get over it and take care of your life.....

I know how terrible feeling is that but revenge wont help you feel better

It really doesnt seem to be a marriage just for papers......unless you felt it from the begining.

Good luck

[Cuchita 1]

Yeah the guy is just a f7&kn boludo ! . Sorry for your friend but tell her she is not the only one and that she can get over it!.

[tulum 0]

Thanks for all the input. I tend to agree with most of the posts. nothing she can really do as far as immigration except maybe try to stop him from getting citizenship [ thats what an immigration attorney told her ] but im not sure how she can do that.....and i agree that 5 years was a long time to wait if all he wanted was the papers, BUT maybe that was his plan to make it look like it was a real marriage and he was waiting to make sure he had this good paying job....i dont know, just speculating. my advice was to divorce him and hit him where it hurts- the wallet! im sorry i didnt have more info to post about this but she dropped this in my lap 2 weeks ago and we just spoke again 2 nights ago. I feel bad for her but i told her the best thing to do was to get this done and over and get past it and be more careful next time. live and learn